THE JUDGMENT OF VAN TWILLER

WASHINGTON IRVING

NOTE. Irving prefaced his "History of New York" by an Apology, in which he stated it to be the main object of his work "to embody local traditions in an amusing form, to illustrate local humors, customs, and peculiarities, to clothe home scenes and places and familiar names with those imaginative and whimsical associations so seldom met with in our 5 new country, but which live like charms and spells about the cities of the Old World, binding the heart of the native inhabitant to his home." This history purported to be written by one Diedrich Knickerbocker, and it is still spoken of as the Knickerbocker History. It met with great favor. Sir Walter Scott thought that the style resembled that of Dean Swift, but the 10 humor of the American author is gentle, and his satire has no sting.

The renowned Wouter (or Walter) Van Twiller was descended from a long line of Dutch burgomasters, who had comported themselves with such singular wisdom and propriety that they were never either heard or talked 15 of, — which, next to being universally applauded, should be the object of ambition of all magistrates and rulers. There are two opposite ways by which some men make a figure in the world; one by talking faster than they think, and the other by holding their tongues and not 20 thinking at all. By the first many a smatterer acquires the reputation of a man of quick parts; by the other many a dunderpate, like the owl, the stupidest of birds, comes to be considered the very type of wisdom. This, by the way, is a casual remark, which I would not for 25

the universe have it thought I apply to Governor Van Twiller. It is true he was a man shut up within himself like an oyster, and rarely spoke except in monosyllables, but then it was allowed he seldom said a foolish thing. So invincible was his gravity that he was never 5 known to laugh or even to smile through the whole course of a long and prosperous life.

With all his reflective habits, he never made up his mind on a subject. His adherents accounted for this by the astonishing magnitude of his ideas. He conceived 10 every subject on so grand a scale that he had not room in his head to turn it over and examine both sides of it. Certain it is that if any matter were propounded to him on which ordinary mortals would rashly determine at first glance, he would put on a vague, mysterious look, 15 shake his capacious head, smoke some time in profound silence, and at length observe that he "had his doubts about the matter"; which gained him the reputation of a man slow of belief and not easily imposed upon.

In his council he presided with great state and solemnity. 20 He sat in a huge chair of solid oak, hewn in the celebrated forest of The Hague, fabricated by an experienced timmerman of Amsterdam, and curiously carved about the arms and feet into exact imitations of gigantic eagle's claws. Instead of a scepter he swayed a long Turkish pipe wrought 25 with jasmine and amber. In this stately chair would he sit, and this magnificent pipe would he smoke, shaking

his right knee with a constant motion, and fixing his eyes for hours together upon a little print of Amsterdam, which hung in a black frame against the opposite wall of the council chamber. Nay, it has even been said 5 that when any deliberation of extraordinary length and intricacy was on the carpet, the renowned Wouter would shut his eyes for full two hours at a time, that he might not be disturbed by external objects; and at such times the internal commotion of his mind was evinced by cer10 tain regular, guttural sounds, which his admirers declared were merely the noise of conflict, made by his contending doubts and opinions.

The very outset of the career of this excellent magistrate was distinguished by an example of legal acumen 15 that gave the flattering presage of a wise and equitable administration. The morning after he had been installed in office, and at the moment that he was making his breakfast from a prodigious earthen dish filled with milk and Indian pudding, he was interrupted by the appearance 20 of Wandle Schoonhoven, a very important old burgher of New Amsterdam, who complained bitterly of one Barent Bleecker, inasmuch as he refused to come to a settlement of accounts, seeing that there was a heavy balance in favor of said Wandle. Governor Van Twiller, as I have 25 already observed, was a man of few words; he was likewise a mortal enemy to multiplying writings-or being disturbed at his breakfast. Having listened attentively

to the statement of Wandle Schoonhoven, giving an occasional grunt as he shoveled a spoonful of Indian pudding into his mouth,—either as a sign that he relished the dish or comprehended the story, he called unto him his constable, and pulling out of his breeches pocket a huge 5 jackknife, dispatched it after the defendant as a summons, accompanied by his tobacco box as a warrant.

This summary process was as effectual in those simple days as was the seal ring of the great Harun-al-Rashid among the true believers. The two parties being con- 10 fronted before him, each produced a book of accounts written in a language and character that would have puzzled any but a High Dutch commentator or a learned decipherer of Egyptian obelisks. The sage Wouter took them one after the other, and having poised them in his 15 hands and attentively counted over the number of leaves, fell straightway into a very great doubt, and smoked for half an hour without saying a word; at length, laying his finger beside his nose, and shutting his eyes for a moment, with the air of a man who has just caught a subtle idea 20 by the tail, he slowly took his pipe from his mouth, puffed forth a column of tobacco smoke, and with marvelous gravity and solemnity pronounced that, having carefully counted over the leaves and weighed the books, he had found that one was just as thick and as heavy as the 25 other therefore it was the final opinion of the court that the accounts were equally balanced: therefore Wandle