and my complainings and entreaties only served to estrange him from me the more."-Here my narrator paused, and then exclaimed with energy, "What can make up to a woman who marries for love for the loss of her husband's affections! That is her glory in prosperity, her consolation in sorrow, her support in trial, her every thing. Poverty she may suffer, persecution or ill treatment from others she may endure, toil she may undertake with cheerfulness and with patience, but take from her her husband's affections, and you take from her the corner-stone upon which is founded all her happiness upon earth. Oh! that men, who marry under these circumstances, who are united to a woman that can feel, were to think what they have in their power, were to consider the misery they may occasion!

"I found, by degrees, and most unwillingly, that my husband had no heart to love any woman steadily, and little worth, or principle, that could be depended upon; and was a man of pleasure, without knowing in what real pleasure consisted.— I was delivered of a daughter, the fruit of our marriage, of whom he was extremely fond at first; but, like a child with its plaything, he tired of her shortly; her, who was his own picture, and my only consolation on earth. His business was, it seemed, now fast verging to a crisis, and his partner would, it was supposed, contrive to injure him, and to save himself.

"He now spent his evenings entirely from home, mostly with gay friends, or in places of some public amusement; and though he was not without the feeling that he was neglecting his business, and using me ill, he had not strength of mind sufficient to meet it, and do the best in his power, nor principle to do me justice; nor was his feeling of that kind to induce him to treat me with kindness. Of the attentions and society of a married woman, I was now completely deprived. Sunday he spent away from me; I had to walk to church alone,-a thing remarkable in the town where we lived, and the dear evening walks we used to take, I now could only recollect with regret.

"Perhaps I expected too much from him at first, and was too severe in

my reflections on his conduct; for he evidently dreaded my reproaches, yet he had not strength to do what he was conscious he ought. At length he told me one day, with some seeming compunction, that the cause of his unaccountable conduct was the state of his mind, with regard to his business, which was in an embarrassed state; although he had commenced it with many and many advantages. His confidence soothed me. I regarded him with pity, becanse I loved him; and advised him, with tears, to a decisive and consistent conduct. But his partner and he had become enemies, and a failure took place, and now commenced to me a series of sufferings which I need not attempt to describe. My poor weak-minded husband, although little deficient in property to pay his debts, and although nothing materially wrong could be charged against him, had not courage to meet his creditors, or to arrange his business; but without saying a word to me of his intentions, fled, as I afterwards learned, to Hamburgh, upon some vague understanding with some person, in the way of business.

"Now his creditors and his partner, he being out of the way, made out every kind of charge against him; blamed him for all which had come upon the concern, which they visited, as far as they could, upon me, as his wife and representative. Men seem to take pleasure in distressing those who are completely in their power, in proportion to their helplessness, their inability to oppose their persecutors, and their disposition to bend under them. Mankind are so conscious of weakness and imperfection in themselves, that they are apt to despise those who are terrified by them, and find a malignant pleasure in increasing their terror, and hunting them down; as the dog worries to death the timid hare, who is unable to run further to avoid him, or to resist his ferocity. Thus they did with me; for although my husband brought me no property, did not even furnish my house, his creditors sold my little property for his debts; and a man who had once worked for our family in a mean capacity, but who had now got to be my landlord, carried away my furniture, and sold it in the

market place; sold the bed from under me and my child, for the rent of my house. The wretches thought they acted firm and manly, because they were unmoved from pursuing what they thought their own interest, and satisfying themselves for their property, by my tears and distraction of mind; and drove me desperate, by their unfeeling persecution. In addition to all this, my husband's female relations, who never liked me, now joined in distressing me, by contriving to blame me as the cause of his misfortunes; and my own remaining relations, whom I was obliged to apply to for assistance, to re-purchase a few arti ticles of my own furniture, grudgingly lent me a little money, seasoned with reproaches for my imprudent marriage, to which some of themselves had advised me, while they scorned the bitterness of my grief, and almost laughed at my calamity.

"What end should it serve for me to describe, were I able, what I suf fered at this period? A poor woman, bereft of every thing, my husband gone I knew not whither, leaving me pregnant, and an infant in my arms, little more than a year old; all the world avoiding me, and suffering my grief to prey upon my mind, almost to distraction. But my child and my condition obliged me to rouse myself; and what was I forced to do, think you? I could do nothing without a little money, and, after every resourse failed, I was obliged to apply for it, to the very man who was formerly to have been my husband, and who had already so wounded my feelings, "This was the bitterest of all! I am unable to bear the recollection of it!" Here the poor woman's tears prevented her utterance, and I was obliged to lead her to the road side, and seat her on a stone to rest herself, while she wept profusely, At length, I led her forward, and she proceeded.

"The man I went to apply to, was a short, stout-made, contentedlooking, comfortable living man, about forty-five; and he bowed me in, with that apparent respect, which I felt to be a mockery; and seemed pleased with the interview, as it afforded him an opportunity of con

trasting his circumstances with mine, and of revenging himself on my feelings, for my former want of submission to him. My heart was ready to burst, while I tried to state to him the purpose of my visit, which he heard with the greatest coolness and self-complacency, and which he seemed perfectly to understand, before I could get words uttered to express it. While I spoke with him, his former prediction of ruin and misery, and the circumstances in which that prophecy was uttered, rushed upon my mind, so as to ren der my thoughts almost insupportable. I had brought with me some small articles of my private property, to pledge with him for a few pounds, which he took and examined with all the business-like sang-froid of a pawnbroker, handed me the money, took down my promise of the time it was to be repaid; and dismissed me, with a grin of satisfaction at the accomplishment of his prediction, and at seeing me in the deepest sorrow.

"I now with a perturbed mind and sore feelings, began to apply myself to my business, as far as my health and the care of my child would allow. I had been well known and respected, and I now commended myself to the cupidity of customers, by working for so little, and so carefully, that I, in time, began to get easier in circumstances, to refurnish my house, and to acquire some degree of respect, and even pity. The opinion of the world, good or bad, is inseparable from success or its contrary, however little they may be attributable to the individual. When the ruin of my husband took place, my neighbours found a thousand faults of conduct, and blemishes of character in me, which they never had sagacity to discover, when I was doing well. Now, when by great exertion I was beginning to recover myself, they complimented themselves, in discovering several virtues in me, which had escaped their penetration when I was in distress; and felt great self-approbation, in giving me their employment, out of pity, as they said, and to encourage me; while, in reality, it was because none would do their work so cheap, nor allow themselves to be trampled upon, as

they, in some measure, could do me, because I was humble and unfortunate.

"I got on, however, in spite of many discouragements; and after a long time, received letters from my husband full of expressions of regret, kindness, and affection. We continued to correspond, and as the impression of my former sorrows began to weaken, my former love for my husband revived, and anxiety for his welfare occupied much of my thoughts. I was delivered of a son to my great joy, but my recovery was tedious, and the care of him and my daughter much interrupted my business. It continued, however, tolerably good, and I had several apprentices, who assisted me in the care of the children, who now were a source of most interesting enjoy

ment.

"My daughter was particularly so, as she now began to prattle and call for her father, whose very image she was; and her little looks and language pointed my thoughts to him incessantly, and made separation from him extremely irksome and joyless. I began to excuse his follies and his neglect of me, from the consideration of his youth, and the way he was circumstanced in his business. His expressions of kindness were now doubly dear to me; I began to be impatient to see him, and formed a thousand plans and hopes of influencing him to virtuous conduct, and regard for myself.

"He wished me to go to Hamburgh to him, and used many arguments and affectionate expressions to induce me. But the prattle of my child was irresistible! she looked in my face as I wept over her father's letter, called his name, and seemed to appeal to me, not to rear her as a fatherless child, but to take her to him that she might receive his blessing, and his instruction. For a long time I would not allow myself seriously to entertain the thought of leaving my country and going to him; at length I did begin to entertain the purpose-and let every man and wife who have loved each other, and who, though aware of each others' faults, have known what it is to be obliged by circumstances to live separate, judge for me in this matter, and say whether I was not

to be excused. He promised to send me money, but when the time came, wrote me that he could not for some time get it from his employer. I had, however, been making some preparations for going to him, for I understood his situation was tolerably promising, and absence from him began to get extremely irksome to me, now as I had made up my mind. A letter I received from him at this time complaining of the state of his health, his want of comfort, and exposure to company from not having a house of his own, and using many endearing expressions, determined me to set off immediately. I disposed of my business, and departed for Leith, to encounter the sea, in the beginning of winter, with two infant children, and no one to assist or protect me on an element to which I was a perfect stranger.

"The voyage was boisterous, stormy, and uncomfortable. I suffered much from that horrid sickness caused by the motion of the vessel, which is so severe upon weak constitutions, and from anxiety about my infants, to whom in my illness I was unable to attend. Even when I got a little recovered, my spirits were low, and my mind irritable; and a prognosticating dread of some further sorrow oppressed me and sickened me with apprehension. However, there were some gentlemen passengers on board, who were extremely kind and attentive to me, treated me with feeling, and assisted me with my infants. As I drew near to Germany, my impatience to see my husband became extreme; I had a thousand dreams and fancies about him, in the state of health in which he described himself. But hope flattered me with the joy of meeting him well, and rejoiced to see me, and with the happiness I might enjoy with him in a country which spoke a different language from our own, and when I could not of course fail to be his principal society. I fancied the delight he would feel at meeting with his children, and the calm enjoyment I should have in having no business to mind, but to attend to them, and to make him comfortable.

"At length, with extreme pleasure, I heard the cry of land, and we soon

On

began to sail down the Elbe, and I to draw near to my husband. Who can describe the feelings of a woman in my circumstances, as we at length stepped ashore in Hamburgh? My limbs could scarce carry me to the house to which I was directed. my arrival, I was conducted up stairs by a foreign-looking man, and when I expected to see my husband, whom I trembled with impatience to embrace, the man bowed me to a seat, walked off slowly, and shut the door after him, without saying a word. I attributed this to his want of the English language, while I sat trembling to see my husband. At length a foot was on the stairs, I rose, the door opened, I watched it intensely. A person entered,-no husband,but a strange, demure-looking man, who addressed me in English, and begged me to be seated. I could not bear this formality, but my apprehensions were awakened by it.— I had not power to speak. He took a seat, and looked as if he had something to say, and did not know how to introduce it. At length he said, Madam, I presume you are the wife of Mr. Y- .?'Yes,' said I, eagerly, and why is he not here? Is he well?' I am sorry, Madam,' said he, to be the bearer of evil tidings to you, but I trust you will be calm.' Oh!' I said, is he well? Is he alive? speak, I pray you for God's sake! tell me at once, and that will calm me.' Since I must say it, Madam, I yesterday assisted in laying him in the grave.' • God in heaven!' I exclaimed, and fell fainting at his feet.

"For some time after I recovered, I neither knew nor observed any thing, but when I became collected, and fully understood that my husband had been hastily carried off in a fever, my former grief, great as it had been, seemed small and tolerable in comparison to this. My husband was gone, on whom all my hopes and wishes centred. All my sorrows now met in a point, for he was gone for whom I had sacrificed and left my country and my all. He who was the husband of my youth! the father of my children! to whom clung all my anticipations and my recollections, and in whose society I had tasted the only portion of high enjoyment which had been my lot Eur. Mag. Vol. 82.

on earth."-Here the poor little woman stood stone still to express with energy her grief. "Oh, Sir!" she said and she stood in the middle of the road looking up in my face, with her widow's crape thrown up, her hands wrung into each other, and her face streaming with tears, the very picture of heart-bursting sorrow." Oh, Sir! can you conceive what it is to lose a husband as I lost him? Can you ulerstand the inexpressible grief of never seeing more on earth-never!-never more on earth!-the man, who with all his faults, is entwined round the heart of a weak and sensitive woman?"

I was by this time so completely overcome by the appearance and story of this unhappy woman that my tears fell as fast as her's. When she became a little calm she proceeded.

"Independent of my feelings for my husband, I was now in a foreign country, where a language which I understood not was spoken, without friends or money, and with two infant children besides myself to provide for. I had given up my business in Scotland, and was left a destitute and disconsolate widow in a foreign country, and what was I to do? Sorrow brought on ill health, my money was nearly gone, and my children came to be neglected. All that my husband left fell into strange hands, and was accounted for one way and another by the expenses of his funeral. My youngest child, for want of proper nourishment and attendance, began to decline; and after much sickness and trouble to me, he was taken from a sorrowful mother to a better world. Not to trouble you, Sir, further with the history of sufferings which cannot be described, by the kindness of some English families in Hamburgh, to whom my case at length became known, and even of foreigners, who were kinder than those in my native town who had known me from infancy-I was furnished with the means of returning home. I had now no other way but to return to my native town, and begin the world a third time, without a chair to sit upon, and with a child and myself to support.

"I began to work again on my return, and with some difficulty got a little employment, for while some 2 P