A RILL FROM THE TOWN-PUMP. I hold high office in the town, being guardian of the best treasure it has; and I exhibit, moreover, an admirable example to the other officials, by the cool and downright discharge of my business, and the constancy with which I stand to my post. Summer or winter, nobody seeks me in vain; for all day long I am seen at the busiest corner, just above the market, stretching out my arms to rich and poor. At this sultry noontide, I am cupbearer to the parched populace, for whose benefit an iron goblet is chained to my waist. To all and sundry I cry aloud, at the very top of my voice: "Here it is, gentlemen! here is the good liquor! here is the unadulterated ale of Father Adam ! better than brandy, wine or beer; here it is, and not a cent to pay. Walk up, walk up gentlemen, and help yourselves!” It were a pity if all this outcry should draw no customers. Here they come. "A hot day, gentlemen! Quaff and away again, so as to keep yourselves in a nice cool sweat. You, my friend! will need another cupful to wash the dust out of your throat, if it be as thick there as it is on your cowhide shoes. I see that you have trudged half a score of miles to-day, and, like a wise man have passed by the tav. erns and stopped at the running brooks and bubbling springs. Drink, and make room for that other fellow who seeks my aid to quench the fever of last night's potations, which he drained from no cup of mine. Welcome, most rubicund sir! You and I have been great strangers hitherto ! But mercy on you, man! The water absolutely hisses down your red-hot gullet. Fill again, and tell me, on the word of an honest toper, did you ever, in tavern or dramshop, spend the price of your children's food for a swig half so delicious! Who next? O my little friend! you are just let loose from school, and are come here to scrub your blooming face, and drown the memory of certain taps of the rod, by a draught from the Town-Pump. Take it, pure as the current of your young life; take it, and may your heart and tongue never be scorched with a fiercer thirst than now. There, my dear child, put down the cup, and yield your place to this elderly gentleman who treads so gingerly over the paving-stones. What! he limps by, without so much as thanking me, as if my hospitable offices were meant only for people who have no wine-cellars. Well, well, sir! no harm done, I hope? Go! draw the cork, tip the decanter; but when your great toe shall set you a roaring, it will be no affair of mine. This thirsty dog with his red tongue lolling out, does not scorn my hospitality, but stands on his hind legs, and laps eagerly out of the trough. See how lightly he capers away again! Jowler! did your worship ever have the gout?" NATHANIEL HAWTHORNE. LAW. Law is law law is law; and as in such and so forth and hereby, and aforesaid, provided always, nevertheless, notwithstanding. Law is like a country dance, people are led up and down in it till they are tired. Law is like a book of surgery, there are a great many desperate cases in it. It is also like medicine, they that take least of it are best off. Law is like a homely gentlewoman, very well to follow. Law is also like a scolding wife, very bad when it follows us. Law is like a new fashion, people are bewitched to get into it: it is also like bad weather, most people are glad when they get out of it. We shall now mention a cause, called "Bullum versus Boatum: " it was a cause that came before me. was as follows. The cause There were two farmers: farmer A. and farmer B. Farmer A. was seized or possessed of a bull: farmer B. was seized or possessed of a ferry-boat. Now, the owner of the ferry-boat, having made his boat fast to a post on the shore, with a piece of hay, twisted rope-fashion, or, as we say, vulgo vocato, a hay-band. After he had made his boat fast to a post on shore; as it was very natural for a hungry man to do, he went up town to dinner : farmer A.'s bull, as it was very natural for a hungry bull to do, came down town to look for a dinner; and, observing, discovering, see_ ing, and spying out some turnips in the bottom of the ferry-boat, the bull scrambled into the ferry-boat; he ate up the turnips, and, to make an end of his meal, fell to work upon the hay-band: the boat being eaten from its moorings, floated down the river, with the bull in it: it struck against a rock; beat a hole in the bottom of the boat, and tossed the bull overboard; whereupon the owner of the bull brought his action against the boat, for running away with the bull, the owner of the boat brought his action against the bull, for running away with the boat. And thus notice of trial was given, Bullum versus Boatum, Boatum versus Bullum. Now the counsel for the bull began with saying: "My lord, and you gentlemen of the jury, we are counsel in this cause for the bull. We are indicted for running away with the boat. Now my lord, we have heard of running horses, but never of running bulls, before. Now, my lord the bull could no more run away with the bcat, than a man in a coach can be said to run away with the horses; therefore, my lord, how can we punish that which is not punishable? How can we eat what is not eatable? Or, as the law says, how can we think on that which is not thinkable? Therefore, my lord, as we are counsel in this cause for the bull; if the jury should bring the bull in guilty, the jury would be guilty of a bull. " The counsel for the boat observed, that the bull should be nonsuited; because, in his declaration, he had not spec. ified what color he was of; for thus wisely, and thus learnedly, spoke the counsel!" My lord, if the bull was of no color, he must be of some color; and, if he was not of any color, what color could the bull be of?" I overruled this motion myself, by observing, the bull was a white bull, and that white is no color besides the law can color anything. This cause being left afterwards to a reference, upon the award, both bull and boat were acquitted; it being proved, that the tide of the river carried them both away: upon which I gave it as my opinion, that, as the tide of the river carried both bull and boat away, both bull and boat had a good action against the water-bailiff. My opinion being taken, an action was issued; and upon the traverse, this point of law arose How, wherefore and whether, why, when, and what, whatsoever, whereas, and whereby, as the boat was not a compos-mentis evidence, how could an oath be administered? That point was soon settled, by Boatum's attorney declaring, that, for his client, he would swear any thing. The water-bailiff's charter was then read, taken out of the original record, in true law Latin, which set forth, in their declaration, that they were carried away either by the tide of flood or the tide of ebb. The charter of the waterbailiff was as follows- Aqua bailiffi est magistratus in choisi super omnibus fishibus qui habuerunt finnos et scalos, claws, shells, et talos, qui swimmare in freshibus, vel saltibus riveris, lakis, pondis, canalibus, et well boats; sive oysteri, prawni, shrimpi, turbutus solus: that is, not turbots alone, but turbots and soles both together. But now comes the nicety of the law; the law is as nice as a new-laid egg, and not to be understood by addle-headed people. Bullum and Boatum mentioned both ebb and flood, to avoid quibbling; but it being proved, that they were carried away neither by the tide of flood, nor by the tide of ebb, but exactly upon the top of high water, they were nonsuited; but such was the lenity of the court, upon their paying all costs, they were allowed to begin again, de novo. STEVENS. APPLEDORE. How looks Appledore in a storm? I have seen it when its crags seemed frantic, And the island, whose rock-roots pierce below As it seemed to plunge with a shudder and thrill And to rise again, snorting a cataract Of rage-froth from every cranny and ledge, While the sea drew its breath in hoarse and deep, |