DON JUAN.

CANTO THE NINTH.

I.

OH, Wellington! (or "Vilainton" (1)-for Fame
Sounds the heroic syllables both ways;

France could not even conquer your great name,
But punn'd it down to this facetious phrase –
Beating or beaten she will laugh the same,)

You have obtain❜d great pensions and much praise: Glory like yours should any dare gainsay, Humanity would rise, and thunder" Nay !" (2)

II.

I don't think that you used Kinnaird quite well
In Marinèt's affair (3) — in fact, 'twas shabby,
And like some other things won't do to tell
Upon your tomb in Westminster's old abbey.

Point d'argent dans la ville de Paris," &c. - De Beranger.] (2) Query-Ney? - Printer's Devil.

(3) [The late Lord Kinnaird was received in Paris, in 1814, with great civility by the Duke of Wellington and the royal family of France, but he had himself presented to Buonaparte during the hundred days, and intrigued on with those of that faction, in spite of the Duke's remonstrances, until the re-restored government ordered him out of the French territory in 1816. In 1817, he became acquainted at Brussels with one Marinèt, an adventurer mixed up in a conspiracy to assassinate the Duke in the streets of Paris. This fellow at first promised to discover the man who actually shot at his Grace, but, on reaching Paris, shuffled and would say nothing; and Lord Kinnaird's avowed cause of complaint against the

Upon the rest 'tis not worth while to dwell,

Such tales being for the tea-hours of some tabby; But though your years as man tend fast to zero, In fact your grace is still but a young hero.

III.

Though Britain owes (and pays you too) so much, Yet Europe doubtless owes you greatly more: You have repair'd Legitimacy's crutch,

A prop not quite so certain as before:

The Spanish, and the French, as well as Dutch,
Have seen, and felt, how strongly you restore ;
And Waterloo has made the world your debtor
(I wish your bards would sing it rather better).

IV.

You are "the best of cut-throats:"(1)-do not start; The phrase is Shakspeare's, and not misapplied :War's a brain-spattering, windpipe-slitting art,

If

Unless her cause by right be sanctified.

you have acted once a generous part,

The world, not the world's masters, will decide, And I shall be delighted to learn who,

Save you and yours, have gain'd by Waterloo ?

V.

I am no flatterer-you've supp'd full of flattery: They say you like it too—'tis no great wonder. He whose whole life has been assault and battery,

At last may get a little tired of thunder;

Duke was, that he did not protect this creature from the French police, who, not doubting that he had been one of the conspirators against his Grace's life, arrested him accordingly. He was tried along with the actual assassin, and both were acquitted by the Parisian jury.-E.]

(1) ["Thou art the best o' the cut-throats."-- Macbeth, act iii. sc. iii.]

And swallowing eulogy much more than satire, he May like being praised for every lucky blunder, Call'd Saviour of the Nations"-not yet saved, And "Europe's Liberator"--still enslaved. (1)

VI.

I've done. Now go and dine from off the plate
Presented by the Prince of the Brazils,
And send the sentinel before your gate (2)
A slice or two from your luxurious meals:
He fought, but has not fed so well of late.
Some hunger, too, they say the people feels:-
There is no doubt that you deserve your ration,
But pray give back a little to the nation.

I don't mean to reflect

VII.

a man so great as

You, my lord duke! is far above reflection: The high Roman fashion, too, of Cincinnatus, With modern history has but small connection: Though as an Irishman you love potatoes,

your

direction;

You need not take them under
And half a million for your Sabine farm
Is rather dear!-I'm sure I mean no harm.

(1) Vide Speeches in Parliament, after the battle of Waterloo.

(2) "I at this time got a post, being for fatigue, with four others. We were sent to break biscuit, and make a mess for Lord Wellington's hounds. I was very hungry, and thought it a good job at the time, as we got our own fill while we broke the biscuit,- a thing I had not got for some days. When thus engaged, the Prodigal Son was never once out of my mind; and I sighed, as I fed the dogs, over my humble situation and my ruined hopes." -Journal of a Soldier of the 71st Regiment during the War in Spain.

VIII.

Great men have always scorn'd great recompenses:
Epaminondas saved his Thebes, and died,
Not leaving even his funeral expenses: (1)

George Washington had thanks and nought beside,
Except the all-cloudless glory (which few men's is)
To free his country: Pitt too had his pride,
And as a high-soul'd minister of state is
Renown'd for ruining Great Britain gratis. (2)

IX.

Never had mortal man such opportunity,

Except Napoleon, or abused it more:

You might have freed fallen Europe from the unity Of tyrants, and been blest from shore to shore: And now what is your fame? Shall the Muse

tune it ye?

Now that the rabble's first vain shouts are o'er?

Go! hear it in your famish'd country's cries!
Behold the world! and curse your victories!

X.

As these new cantos touch on warlike feats,
To you the unflattering Muse deigns to inscribe
Truths, that you will not read in the Gazettes,

But which 'tis time to teach the hireling tribe

(1) ["In other illustrious men you will observe that each possessed some one shining quality, which was the foundation of his fame: in Epaminondas, all the virtues are found united; force of body, eloquence of expression, vigour of mind, contempt of riches."-DIOD. SIC. lib. xv.]

(2) [Those persons who represent our statesmen as living and fattening upon the public spoil, must either be grossly ignorant, or wicked enough to employ arguments which they know to be false. The emoluments of office, almost in every department of the state, and especially in all the highest, are notoriously inadequate to the expenditure which the situation requires. Mr. Pitt, who was no gambler, no prodigal, and too much a man of business to have expensive habits of any kind, died in debt; and the nation discharged his debts, not less as a mark of respect, than as an act of justice.-SOUTHEY.]

Who fatten on their country's gore, and debts,
Must be recited, and—without a bribe.
You did great things; but not being great in mind,
Have left undone the greatest-and mankind.

XI.

Death laughs-Go ponder o'er the skeleton
With which men image out the unknown thing
That hides the past world, like to a set sun

Which still elsewhere may rouse a brighter springDeath laughs at all you weep for :- -look upon

This hourly dread of all! whose threaten'd sting Turns life to terror, even though in its sheath: Mark! how its lipless mouth grins without breath!

XII.

Mark! how it laughs and scorns at all you are!
And yet was what you are: from ear to ear
It laughs not-there is now no fleshy bar

So call'd; the Antic long hath ceased to hear,
But still he smiles; and whether near or far

He strips from man that mantle (far more dear Than even the tailor's), his incarnate skin, White, black, or copper-the dead bones will grin.

XIII.

And thus Death laughs,—it is sad merriment,
But still it is so; and with such example
Why should not Life be equally content
With his superior, in a smile to trample