MISCELLANEOUS. UNPUBLISHED JUVENILE DIARY OF TOPLADY. For the Christian Observer. THE writer of the following remarks has in his hands an unpublished diary, kept by the Rev. Augustus Toplady when a boy at Westminster school. As a relic of so remarkable a man, it may be considered a literary curiosity; but it is too juvenile to render it altogether worth publication. Still it contains so many graphic traces of the early character of that pious and gifted, though by no means faultless, divine, and is written so much in the striking style of shrewdness and talent which characterises his mature compositions, that the transcript of a few pages, as a specimen, might not be unwelcome to the reader. It is not, however, merely in this view that the following extracts are printed; but chiefly from their incidental bearing upon an important theological question. The example of Mr. Toplady is often quoted as a remarkable instance, not only of "grace abounding to the chief of sinners"-which, blessed be God! it does-but of almost instantaneous conversion, where there had been no apparent incipient process, no long striving of the Holy Spirit, or gradual effusion of prevenient grace. It is stated, in the memoir of Toplady prefixed to his works, that "he received the first rudiments of his education at Westminster school, where he early evinced and increased a peculiar genius." It is immediately added, that he left his studies at Westminster to proceed with his widowed mother to Ireland; where, "when he was about the age of sixteen, it pleased God in his providence to direct his steps into a barn, at a place called Codymain, where a layman was preaching." "The word of God then delivering," continues the narrative, “ was fixed upon his conscience in demonstration of the Spirit and of power;" and, adds the narrative, "Let it not rashly be deemed the enthusiasm of a visionist, or the ignis fatuus of religious distraction, when we assert that his faith did not stand in the wisdom of man, but in the power of God; for there was nothing peculiar in the place or instrument to work upon the fancy or passions: therefore, to attempt to explain the effect by any logical or metaphysical investigation would be ridiculous, while we have the Scriptures, in congeniality with facts, to inform us that it pleaseth God by the foolishness of preaching to save them that believe." In like manner, Mr.Toplady himself was accustomed to refer to this era of his conversion to God with peculiar emphasis. Thus he says in his Dying Avowal, "I was awakened in the month of August 1755:" and again, in one of his journals, "Sept. 2, 1768: Received this morning a letter from a Gospel friend, informing me that Mr. Morris, of the county of Wexford, in Ireland, whose ministry, a little turned of twelve years ago, was blest to my conversion, is waxing cold in the work of the Lord; upon which I thought it a debt due to friendship, and to the cause of God, to write him a letter." Again, February 29, same year: "At night, after my return from Exeter, my desires were strongly drawn out, and drawn up to God. I could indeed say that I groaned with the groans of love, joy, and peace; but so it was; even with comfortable groans that cannot be uttered. That sweet text, Ephes. ii. 13, Ye who were sometime afar off are made nigh by the blood of Christ, was particularly delightful and refreshing to my soul; and the more so as it reminded me of the days and months that are past, even the day of my sensible espousals to the Bridegroom of the elect: for it was from that passage that Mr. Morris preached on the memorable evening of my effectual call, by the grace of God, under the ministry of that dear messenger; and, under that sermon, I was, I trust, brought nigh by the blood of Christ in August 1756*. Strange, that I, who had so long sat under the means of grace in England, should be brought nigh to God in an obscure part of Ireland, amidst a handful of God's people met together in a barn, and under the ministry of one who could hardly spell his name! Surely it was the Lord's doing, and it is marvellous. The excellency of such power must be of God, and cannot be of man. The regenerating Spirit breathes not only on whom, but likewise when, where, and as he listeth." It is not requisite to enter upon the many topics which will suggest themselves to a thoughtful Christian mind in perusing the above passages. The discussions respecting the Divine sovereignty, instantaneous conversion, and irresistible grace, have been many and long; but, whatever may be the differences of sentiment, or rather perhaps of statement, of true Christians, upon these many-sided questions, the practical personal feeling will be much akin in all, and none perhaps will hesitate to subscribe to the humble confession of Dr. Watts: "'Twas the same love that spread the feast That sweetly call'd me in; There seems to be a discrepancy in these dates. It may perhaps be reconciled by a passage in the Dying Avowal: "Though awakened in 1755, I was not led into a full and clear view of all the doctrines of grace till the year 1758; when, through the great goodness of God, my Arminian prejudices received an effectual shock in reading Dr. Manton's sermons on the xvii th of St. John. I shall remember the years 1755 and 1758 with gratitude and joy in the heaven of heavens to all eternity." CHRIST. OBSERV. No. 345. Leaving, therefore, all investigations of this nature, and not adverting, either in praise or blame, to some peculiarities of theological opinion, which are mixed up with a portion of the phraseology of the above passages, there is one point to which it is intended to invite the attention of the reader in reference to these statements, as compared with the tenor of Toplady's own unpublished juvenile diary. These statements, it will be observed, refer his "awakening," his "effectual call," his "conversion," his "sensible espousals," to certain dates, commencing when he was about sixteen years of age, and had left Westminster school. Not a syllable is even hinted that there had been any previous process in his mind; that the Spirit of God had ever before striven with him; that he was even acquainted with a single doctrine of Christianity; or had ever for one moment thought seriously; or uttered a prayer, however ignorantly; or felt the alarms of conscience; or evinced the least tenderness of spirit, much less an ingenuous wish to know and follow the will of God. Now the sovereignty of Jehovah, the freedom of Divine grace, the sufficiency of the Saviour's sacrifice, and the power of his Spirit, are the same whether these facts be so or not; but a portion of the practical moral will be somewhat different according to the particular circumstances of a given case. The sacred, mysterious, nay, "sovereign" influence of the Holy Ghost, whether termed irresistible or otherwise, was as much displayed in the instance of Cornelius as of Mary Magdalene; and would have been as much displayed in the case of the young man whom our Lord loved, and who was not very far from the kingdom of heaven, had he really entered it, as in that of the thief upon the cross, who did enter it, and at the eleventh hour. These, then, are not points in question; but still there are differences of administration, and it serves no scriptural purpose to confound 4 P prepared by the Holy Spirit for the reception of that seed of Divine life which was sown, or began to spring up so as to be visible, at the particular periods he mentions? And if this were the case, ought the circumstance to have been suppressed? On the contrary, instead of overlooking these merciful premonitions and warnings and meltings of soul, ought they not to have been pro minently set forth, as testimonies to the love and patience of God and the blessed influences of his Spirit, even while the subject of this merci. ful dispensation was unconscious of the path by which he was gradually led, to prove him, to try him, and to bring him peace at his latter end? His early Pharisaism and vanity, if there were nothing else, would prove how much he needed and perhaps this youthful indication of his natural character may assist in accounting for the contrary views which he so strongly urged in after life. Ministers generally shew their own weakest points in the sins they most preach against. things that differ. The grace of God is not less magnified in the instance of Samuel the Prophet, or John the Baptist, or Timothy, than in that of John Bunyan; and if the following extracts from Mr. Toplady's juvenile diary should prove that he more resembled the former than the latter class of character, though the story may sound less "marvellous" to undiscriminating ears, the great fact is the same, and the glory is due alone in the same quarter. There is no more room for boasting in the case of a progressive than of an instantaneous "awakening" the forbearance and long-suffering of God, and the necessity of the enlightening and converting influences of his Holy Spirit, are the same whether young Top lady was the most ignorant profligate boy in Westminster school," awakening" and "conversion;" and was suddenly "awakened" at the age of sixteen without any previous process; or whether from his very infancy he was under the secret strivings of the Holy Spirit, evinced by tenderness of conscience, a desire to know and follow the truth, habits of prayer and reading the Scriptures, and many other of the symptoms that doubtless characterized the "awakening" and "conversion" of the Evangelist Timothy. At all events, truth is truth; and the printed memoir of Toplady does not convey the whole truth: it speaks of his "effectual calling," his "awakening," his "conversion," and his "sensible espousals," from 1755 to 1758; but it gives no intimation of what had been his previous life, his training, his early habits and feelings; or whether he had not in fact been often in former years the subject of " awakenings," partial perhaps and intermitting, but such as never permitted him to return wholly to his spiritual slumbers; but rather kept him in the listening attitude of young Samuel, "Speak, Lord, for thy servant heareth." Might not the fallow ground of his heart have been for years gradually broken up, and These remarks, it is repeated, are irrespective of any differences of opinion that may exist respecting the doctrinal creed, or the character or conduct, of Mr. Toplady, or the controversies in which he was engaged. They refer wholly to an omission in the memoir of his Life prefixed to his Works-namely, as to his character and feelings before the period of his going to Ireland; which omission the following extracts from his own juvenile diary will assist to supply. They are too boyish to be read without a smile: so boyish, indeed, that it was at first intended to extract only a few of the graver passages; but this would not have given a fair view of the character of this remarkable child ;-remarkable in his seriousness, his conscientiousness, his shrewdness yet simplicity, and in the very circumstance of his keeping a regular diary of his thoughts and actions. His filial affection and duty are delight ful. Those who have read his life and writings will not be uninterested in some even of the most trivial of the following childish notices, as displaying in an incipient state those characteristics which marked the future man. The true philosopher knows how to read such mental memoranda with profit as well as amusement; child's play to him is wisdom: but for others, even Miss Edgeworth's admirable baby anecdotes, in her work on Education, are 66 very silly." Let the reader take his choice. The secret workings of a child's mind are not often unfolded to others as they appear in the following diary. Many a parent, and aunt and uncle, and grandmother, and schoolmaster, may find some useful hints as to the effect of their conduct on the minds of children, when they least suspect it. Oh, how does one wish that this promising boy had in his early years found a friend who had known how to shew him the way of God more perfectly! His mother appears to have been anxious and affectionate, and to have instructed him according to her knowledge; but she had not soared beyond the doctrinal errors and pharisaical notions of a religious formalist. The sermon in the barn was, perhaps, whatever might be its faults, the first clear exposition of the scriptural method of salvation which he had ever heard from the lips of a preacher, or in the conversation of a friend. DIARY, &c. 1751. Oct. 20th I began to write a book of duty, and ended in December. Nov. 27th began another, and ended in February 25, 1752. On Shrove-Tuesday I wrote a sermon: I have three more of my own composition. 1752. Feb. 28th.-My dear, dear, dear mamma bought me a set of boxes, all one in another, very beauteous and useful. My aunt, in 1752, Feb. gave me a large black box to keep my writings in. I make vast progress in my book, and have vigorously and industriously endeavoured to do my task well. I always pray to my God as I go to my school.-My aunt gave me a seal. My dear mamma gave me a pulpit-cloth of white, all-a-piece, laced with a broad gold lace. I always love God, and endeavour to cast away all impurity and all sin whatever. When I was a very little boy, I found a pocket-book with clasps, pence, and hinges of solid silver. Before I went to Deptford, I had bought out of my own money a large strong book case, in 1751. March. I wrote a manual of prayers. 24th and 25th, very ill: my mamma provided me every thing needful, like a kind indulgent parent as she is. 26th also very ill : staid from school. March 19th I went to Mr. Darby's; very civilly entertained. April 7th. Mamma told me that I was as good to her as ten children: see the tenderness of a kind, dear mother! 4th, I went to Mr. Darby's; very genteelly entertained. 5th, Went to my uncle Charles's; he gave me three-pence. In the morning I found a halfpenny. My aunt Betsey invented a terrible mistake of me. I have a little garden at Mr. Burting's; she said. she sowed some horse-radish in it; that I had pulled it up. Swore in a solemn manner! In a fortnight I saw a great head (which I took then to be flowers) of horse-radish. I told her of the mistake, and of the consequences which would attend getting a bad character on me; on which she multiplied her number from one piece of radish to two; stands in it, and that I told a lie ; but, thanks be to God, I scorn one. God forgive her! for I do.-April 6th, dear mamma gave me several books. Very ill with the tooth-ache. I shall add in my journal the prayers I say before I go to school, going there, and coming back. "Blessed be thy Name, O most righteous Lord, who hast given me the advantage of learning. Grant I may receive it readily, and put the benefits of it to good uses. Make me not to err, as some other schoolboys do. Suffer me not to be tempted by my own heart's lusts, or by the dissuasions of bad company arm me against their snares, and grant I may keep a watch over myself, never to perpetrate any crime. Grant I may never fall from thee; nor leave so kind, so bountiful, so beneficent, so faithful a Master as thou art! Amen." Going there:-"O Lord God, dear Redeemer, heavenly Father, dear Protector, grant I may not have any anger from Dr. Nicholls, Dr. Lloyd, or any ofthe ushers, that may proceed from any one cause whatever, and in particular (here I name my fears). Amen. Grant also I may not have any quarrels with my school-fellows. Grant that peace may circulate in our hearts, as if we were brothers. Amen."-I always join in the prayers which are said in the school and though I do not understand the prayers, yet I join in the Lord's Prayer, and say this following: "Receive my praise, O Lord, for protecting me from all anger. Grant that nothing may come to interrupt the unity which ought to subsist between dear mamma and me. Grant that all my power and strength and might vigorously unite to promote thy glory. Amen." Coming back :Thanks be to Thee for my progress in my learning, and for all thy goodness, kindnesses, and comforts. Amen." April 11th.-My dear mamma, having heard my prayers, cried tears for joy, and said that she hoped I should never leave the right road; and bid me beware cautiously of sin, that God's heavenly grace might be with me. Having thought of some graces I should practise should I survive her: First, I must beware of impatience, that is, murmuring at her death, and despairing of God's lifting me up again; therefore I must keep a heart of thanksgiving and faith: thanksgiving, in praising him for sparing the life of mamma so long as to instruct me in the right paths; and faith, in reliance on his good providence that he will mercifully assist me, and give me the comfort of his upholding consolations. So let her Christian graces and pious example be an everlasting pattern for me to copy. She hath often told me, that the best kindness to her after her death was, not to deviate from God's laws. Her kind and good instructions, I hope, will be a memorial of that tender regard she had for me; and her edifying discourses be lasting monuments of her praise. She is affable and obliging, but her complaisance does not exceed bounds of truth; and in private, pious and discreet. Then I will comfort myself by endeavouring to gain as high an esteem for religion, and as great a detestation of vice, as she has: I must refrain myself from immoderate grief, and renew my faith and reliance on God's mercy, and doubt not but she will be in a felicial state in the kingdom of Christ. Amen. May 14th. Went to Deptford; walked there and back. They desired me to stay some few days; but as mamma bid me go home the same night, I rather chose to obey her than to be in pleasure by disobedience. 15th. I set down these rules: First, I must beware of spiritual pride: secondly, of uncleanness : thirdly, of lying: fourthly, of neg. lecting that great precept of loving God with all my heart, mind, and strength. The love of God consists in a thorough obedience to his mandates; which gives such pleasing ideas, that the soul is transported in a manner beyond itself. 'Tis that is company when we are alone; and the only thing that can charm or delight me, when I think on the strange mysteries of religion. With what astonishment do I meditate, when I |