BREVITIES AND LEVITIES. where, in order that the audience should be enabled justly to participate in that situation of mute eloquence, the Bassoon is curiously made the interpreter of the feelings of the living, afterwards of the dying, hero! "Hero (Mr. Phillips), prostrate. "Heroine (Mrs. Wood), kneeling over the body of the hero, and feeling his heart. "Bassoon interrupting the scene by a gentle crescendo of one note, deep and ominous-Poo, Poo, Poo-intimating to the audience the pulsation, therefore life, of the hero. "Heroine, after a short pause, suddenly exclaims in recitative, accompanied by the Bassoon fortissimo, He lives! Then I am happy ! But as if to prepare both the heroine and audience for the last reverse, the "Bassoon throbs in descendo-Poo, Poo, Poo. The heroine takes the hint, and exclaims, Alas! he's dead!' (Curtain drops.)" The Managers, however, may fancy they have obtained some benefit from these Foreign Operas. They find it cheaper to get an Opera adapted than to purchase an original native production: but this argument is bad. The English public will support the production of a countryman, if it possesses merit, and crowded houses will more than re. pay the extra expense incurred. That there are English composers who can write Operas, we are well aware; they only require to be introduced by the managers of our Thea tres to the public, and that public will support them. SMALL NOTES, FOR CHANGE. ROBINS'S RHAPSODIES. This Phaeton among Auctioneers continues to give the reins to his imaginative coursers, and, from his elevated hammer cloth, to exhibit lots of flourishes and freaks. He is truly the most poetical contributor to the newspapers. The approaching sale of the Hafod Estate, in Cardiganshire, has enlisted all his sublimest raptures. After exhaust ing himself (or rather, the common-place book which he must keep) in descriptive painting, he rises again, and achieves the following passage, which we cannot refrain from transcribing as a gem of art:"-" The Devil's Bridge forms a grand auxiliary to this property; the fame it has acquired seems to render a minute description of it superfluous. It really claims to be accounted one of the wonders of the world! The commodious Hotel, which overlooks this fearful precipice, is full of accommoda tion and comfort."-Here we have, in the space of a few lines, a fine illustration of both climax and pathos, or, what Robins himself would style "a magnificent pair of figures." This is almost equal to Mrs. Partington and the Atlantic. How immeasurably this man of many properties distances alt the penny-a-liners! UNHOLY ALLIANCES. In last Sunday's impression of a certain Tory officious organ, it is given, as from credible information, that Sir Robert Peel keeps an Evening paper for his own purposes, and that Loid Ellenborough is similarly connected with a Morning journal. Mr. Croker, as his own trumpeter in a Sunday paper, is added to the list of delinquents. That such disclosures should be made, is far less extraordinary than that they should proceed from such a quarter. "Et tu, Brute," might be very naturally exclaimed by the accused. Probably a little professional jealousy may lie at the bottom of the impeachment. 46 NEW LIGHTS; OR, THE YOUNG IDEA. 44 Some small lads, at a well-known academy at Highgate, were a few days since discussing things in general in the play-ground, as is their custom of an afternoon," until they arrived at the pending question as to the mode of pub lic rejoicing to be adopted. "So," said one of them, "there's to be no illumination, it appears. I can't agree with this. In the present days of advancement, they ought to be proud of the opportunity to shew how many illumi nati the country can produce." "For my part," said another, I applaud the reformers for not wishing to make light of their triumph." "True; and then only think of the expenditure," pursued a third, a very little fellow, but equal to four syllables. "The fact is this," interposed another (an urchin, who had been reading Pilgrim's Progress on the sly, they ought to illuminate: it would manifest both their strength and their satisfaction, if they were to put on the armour of light, and pour out the oil of gladness!" "To be sure!" resumed the first orator; "and I know this; that if I were A lad in it, I'd soon invoke the genius of the lamp!"" Oh! that boy 'll be the death of me!' was the exclamation of one of the striplings at this sally; and their discussion presently merged into a game at ring-taw. A SAFE TRANSFER. His The Duke of Devonshire has been stated to have perfectly recovered from the effects of his hay-fever-by dint, we suppose, of a temporary abstinence from raking. Grace's hey-day is certainly of longer endurance than that of most men, though he does not exactly appear to be making hay while the sun shines; else, why does he not take a partner? A simple friend of ours, to whom this strange affection of the Duke's system was mentioned, actually imagined that it arose from a turn for eating meadow produce, and that his Grace presented, therefore, a sort of dry imitation of Nebuchadnezzar! We could not help roasting our friend a bit upon this; and a third party followed up the joke, by informing him, that another gentleman of some distinction, Colonel Snodgrass, always had the hay-fever when he raked at all during the warm weather! THE UNCHOSEN ONE. A courtly Journal has had an odd scrap of intelligence about a great personage having conceded to his ducal host, on a recent occasion, the latitude of including among his guests whomsoever he pleased, in addition to every branch of the concessor's own family, except one. The imagination of the great personage was travelling to Sussex, although few persons will consider the objection a bright 'un. LORD SEFTON'S LAST! In quoting Lord Sefton's complaint the other day, about the City Dinner being cold, the Court Journal states his Lordship to have added, that there were neither green. peas nor young potatoes," but omits his pithy comment on the latter circumstance, which we understand to have been as follows- -"Call this living, indeed! Why, it was not even vegetation !" MILE. MARS, Most of our readers are probably aware that Mlle. Mars was a warm Bonapartist (as the admirers of Bonaparte were termed after his abdication), and that she took every oppor tunity to let the world know her opinions. Upon one oc. casion, after the restoration of Louis XVIII., the garde du corps, which was composed of ultra-royalists, were marching through the streets of Paris, and happened to hiss the carriage of the above lady. "Ah!" said one," there is that Bonapartist, Mlle. Mars." "Yes," replied another, "there she is leaning back in her carriage, as though she were afraid to look at us." "What," observed Mlle. Mars, "what have the garde du corps to do with MARS?" This sharp retort to men who wore their military garb for show, and not for service, arrested them effectually from making further observations. The eulogy on Mr. Monck Mason's management is an advertisement. We cannot give currency to the lines called "The Prospects of Portugal; or, a Crown for Five Shillings." We cannot make room for "The Dance of Cholera," which is in too light and lively a measure for the occasion. The writer of "A Brush at the Broom-Girls" is referred to Mr. Cobbett, who makes those melodious mendicants the objects of his especial attention. We can see but little point in the effusion termed "The real Vaux-Hall; or, Lord Brougham's own Dwelling." The fire work of puns which the author introduces, by way of conclusion, does but ill support the conceit. We must protest, in all good humour, against the kidnapping of our offspring into the strange settlements of certain parts of the journalist world. To those parties, on the other hand, who do not seek to pass off our little ones (paragraphs) as their own, but assign to them their proper patronymic, we beg to express our thanks. ADVERTISEMENTS. TO SINGERS. CRIVALLI'S ITALIAN LOZENGES Are patronized and recommended by several distinguished Professors to those who wish to acquire this elegant accomplishment, as the use of them speedily produces a powerful, sweet, and rich intonation of voice. The Essay on Singing, by which each box is accompanied, has received the highest eulogiums from the press, and contains such rules as are necessary to constitute the Vocalist. Prepared by Henry Ayres, Chemist; and sold by Butler, Cheapside; Sanger, 150, Oxford Street; Prout, 226, Strand; and Johnston. 68, Cornhill; and by all respectable Druggists, in boxes, at 2s. each. Stradling, Royal Exchange, Gregnon, Regent Street; Hannay and Co. Oxford Street. BRANDY FOR MEDICAL PURPOSES, 23 years old, 72s. per dozen, bottles included; single bottles, 68. each; may be had at the Sample-room of the GRAY'S-INN Wine and Spirit Establishment, 23, HIGH HOLBORN. The patronage which this consignment of Pure Pale Brandy has met with amongst the higher class of medical practitioners, is sufficient to stamp its genuine quality, and to recommend it as one of the most immediate and effectual preventives to the fatal disease which now prevails to so alarming an extent amongst all classes of the community. Forwarded to any part of England on a remittance, the full amount of which, with every expense of carriage, &c., will be returned, should it not prove one of the finest articles ever produced in this country. Champagne (coloured) Brandy equal to any ever imported, 28s. per gallon: sample bottles, 5s. each. GEO. HENEKEY. London: Published every Saturday Morning, for the Proprietors, by G. Cowie, 312, Strand, where Advertisements are received, and all Communications for the Editor (post paid) are to be addressed; and sold also by W. Strange, 21, Paternoster Row; G. Purkess, Wardour Street, Soho; G. Berger, 42,Holywell Street, Strand; and all Booksellers and Newsmen. Cowie, Printer, Belle Sauvage Yard, Ludgate Hill, ORIGINAL. A WEEKLY MISCELLANY OF HUMOUR, LITERATURE, AND THE FINE ARTS. No. 22. THE PRETTY FOOT. SATURDAY, JULY 28, 1832. By the bye, Fred, are you a marrying man?" said Charles Russell to his bachelor friend, Frederick Somerville, as they discussed a cool bottle together at the Star and Garter at Richmond. "By the bye, Fred, are you a marrying man ?? "My dear Charles, with a patrimony of one hundred a-year, and an allowance from my aunt of a second, for gloves and shoe-strings, how can I entertain such an idea? But why do you ask?" "Because I have just heard a strange whim which my cousin Ellen has taken into her head; and, 'pon my soul, if she perseveres in it, I should like some good fellow like yourself, who will take care of her and her couple of thousands a-year, to be the eccentric partner." Fred's curiosity was now raised. He intreated to be made acquainted with this strange whim; and, a fresh bottle having been placed before the friends, it was not long before the generous operation of the wine, and our friend Fred's enquiries, prevented Russell from burthening himself any longer with the secret. And the secret was this:-Ellen Cameron, a high-spirited and self-willed girl of two and twenty years of age, and an unincumbered income of as many hundreds, having been disgusted at the treatment which a fair relative had received from one whom, after an attachment of some years, she had made her husband, vowed, that if ever she married, it should be a man to whom she should be introduced, for the first time, at the altar where she was to become his bride. It was a strange idea, doubtless; but young girls, who are mistresses both of themselves and their fortunes, are apt to have strange notions. Ellen was one of these. With a good heart, an excellent understanding, and a cultivated taste, she had just so much of oddity in her disposition as prompted her to make, and enabled her to persevere in, this extraordinary determination. The strangeness of the notion seemed to possess charms Price 3d. for the somewhat romantic mind of Somerville, who, having enquired as narrowly into the state of the case as Russell's relationship to the lady would admit, expressed himself willing, could she be prevailed on to accept him, to underg the ceremonies of introduction and marriage at the same moment. "But tell me, my dear Russell, do you know any thing objectionable in her temper or disposition?" "Nothing, on my word, Fred. No woman is perfect; and Ellen has her failings; but, despite certain eccentricitie and peculiarities, I do believe you would live very happil together." "But, my dear Russell, I always vowed I never woul marry even an angel, if she exhibited a superabundance of foot and ancle. Tell me, has my fair incognita a pretty foot?" Full particulars of what box she was to occupy, together with other means of identifying her, were asked and given. The following night saw Fred at the Opera, before Spagnoletti's magic tap had given the signal for the commence. ment of the overture. His eyes were instantly turned upon the box that was destined to contain the object of his search; but that, of course, was empty. During the whole of the first act of the Opera, his attention was rivetted to that spot, but not a soul broke in upon its solitude. During the divertissement, which followed, and exhibited attractions so powerful as to seduce the eyes of our hero from the object on which they had so long been fixed, the box was filled; and when Fred turned his eyes again in that direction, he felt convinced that the most prominent personage which it contained was the eccentric Ellen! His glass was now directed for some momentous minutes to the box; and when he removed it to return the salutation of his friend Russell, who now approached him, he was muttering to himself, "By heavens! she is certainly a fine girl!" Nor did he exhibit any selfishness with regard to this feeling he never attempted to keep it to himself, but instautly confessed as much to Russell. "She is certainly a very fire girl. Can't you introduce me to your cousin, my dear friend?" said he. "Then the two thousand a-year have no charms for you, Fred," was the reply. "Faith! but they have though, and so has your cousin ; therefore, the sooner you say a good word for me, the better." Whether or not Charles, who adjourned to his cousin's, introduced the subject of his friend's admiration of her that evening, we cannot take upon ourselves to assert; but certain it is, that Ellen's Opera glass was, for the remainder of the night, much more frequently directed to the part of the pit which was occupied by her aspirant than to any other. The subject was introduced, however, at some period, and, after sundry blushings and hesitations, Russell's wooing, in his friend's name, sped favorably; and six weeks after the eventful dinner at Richmond, saw a travelling chariot, with four of Bob Newman's quickest, draw up at St. George's, Hanover-square, and deposit at the snug and sly vestry-door the bridegroom expectant of Ellen Cameron and her twenty-two hundreds per annum. Here he was met by his friend Russell, whose obvious confusion and anxiety could not escape the notice of Fred Somerville. He was about to enquire into the cause which produced this effect, when he was prevented by the arrival of the bride. He would have flown to assist her from her carriage, but Russell seized him, and motioning him to withdraw, suc ceeded in leading him into the body of the church;-not, however, before he had discovered that his intended had a very pretty foot, which was certainly without its fellowfor he saw she had but one! He was at first bitterly enraged at the deception which had been practised upon him; but Russell soon calmed his irritation by a very satisfactory explanation of his conduct. Well assured of Fred's worth, and his cousin's amiability, he had felt convinced in his own mind that their union would prove a happy one; but the circumstance of Ellen having unfortunately been deprived of one of her legs, he feared, would prejudice Fred against her. His anxiety for the happiness of both parties had tempted him, therefore, to conceal this fact-for, knowing, as he did, Fred's devotion to a pretty foot, he feared lest this enthusiastic admiration of the extreme of feminine beauty should lose him an amiable and wealthy woman, had he been told at once, that although she had a singularly pretty foot, she had but one! That this explanation was satisfactory, we have asserted already; and it was made evident by the fact of the worthy clergyman being called upon immediately to perform the matrimonial service, to say nothing of the worthy clerk receiving triple fees upon the occasion. The marriage created a good deal of attention at the time, and many ill-natured jokes were cut upon the parties; but they heeded them not, and have been rewarded for it by a succession of many happy years. One of these malicious witticisms only will we record. So, Fred Somerville has married a woman of property, I hear-old, of course-" said a young guardsman at Brooks's. "Not exactly old," was the answer, from a quondam rival of Fred's-" not exactly old, but with one foot in the grave." MORNING. It is the birth of a new morn-and fresh, It is the flush the mantling glow of morn The dews are sparkling; and beneath, the springs The seventh avatar, or incarnation of the deity Vishnu, called by the name of Rama Chandra, was for the purpose of punishing Ravan, a monstrous giant reigning over Lanka (Ceylon). This has given rise to one of the most splendid epic poems extant, though full of the most monstrous extravagances-"The Ramayana." I shall attempt a very slight sketch of it. Rama and Ravan were competitors for the hand of Sita, a most beautiful princess, the daughter of Junuka, who had declared that he only should obtain the hand of the princess who could bend a mighty bow, the gift of Mahadeo. Rama proved successful, and his rival retired to devise the means of revenge, his desire for which had been increased by an insult offered by Lachshma, brother of Rama, to Supanukha, the sister of Ravan. Rama appears to have retired to a forest to perform penitential austerities in honour of the gods: S.ta prevailed on him to allow her to accompany him. Ravan ingeniously transforms himself into a deer, whose beauty strikes the attention of Sita; and she, with all imaginable amiability, desires her husband to kill it, and present her with the skin. He accordingly departs for the chase, in which he succeeds; but Ravan instantly transports himself to the hut in which the princess was awaiting Rama's return, and carries her off in triumph through the air. After much lamentation, it is discovered that she was transferred to Lanka (Ceylon). Rama then applies to his friend Sugriva, who reigned over a nation of monkeys. This monarch kindly sends to his assistance an army of these most astute and quarrelsome warriors. But here the difficulty occurs-how are they to pass the intervening ocean, interposed between the Continent and Lanka? what will not the persevering skill and power of such monkies effect? Their energetic chief, Hanuman, tore up mountains from their base, and cast ten of them, each 64 miles in circumference, into the sea. Thus were the mighty piers formed for the bridge. Their fragments are still to be seen (according to the Hindoos) in the rocks between Hindoostan and Ceylon and this is a most valid article of their creed. But While this important work was proceeding, Hanuman undertook the difficult task of skipping at one leap into Lanka, for the purpose of observing the condition of Sita. This mighty enterprise had been evaded by the other chiefs, from the apprehended difficulty of skipping back again! He alights safely at the garden of the palace, where, after conferring with the Princess, indignant at the treatment she is experiencing, he is unwarily transported into the commisson of so many monkey tricks-such as tearing up trees, flower-beds, and so forth-that he is discovered. Ravan's eldest son, after a long conflict, sets fire to his tail, with which, however, leaping away from house to house, he burns all Lanka. To extinguish his tail after the battle, which he was unable to accomplish, Sita wisely recommends him to spit on it. In doing so, he unwittingly smutted his face, which may account for the present obfuscated appearance of the monkey countenance. Hanuman finds the bridge completed at his return. A battle is fought soon after, the whimsical extravagances of which it would be far too tedious to detail. One General, the brother of Ravan, swallows whole legions of the monkies in his enormous maw, and these again jump out at his mouth and nostrils-gods and demi-gods contend with a fury and skill that would shame the acts of the divine personages of Homer-Monkey Sauterelles, to escape the hurling of rocks-rapid ascents of fiery chariots, for the same purpose, follow in rapid succession. The war is at length terminated by Rama, who, learning that some of the Amrita, or water of immortality, was contained in the navel of the Giant, pierces him at that part with a fiery arrow, and thus terminates his life. The victorious army disperses; and Rama, with his chiefs, who are changed into the human form, returns to Ayodhya (Oude), which is filled with rejoicings. Rama reigns 10,000 years, and is then removed into the heaven of Vishnu, leaving the kingdom to his two sons. It must be remarked, that Sita's purity, after her abduction by the Giant, is established by the fiery ordeal; or ra. ther, that the Giant had been all along deceived by Maya, or illusion-an ideal Sita only having been carried off by him. It is believed by the worshippers of Rama that he transformed himself into a monkey. This animal is, therefore, held in high estimation in various parts of India; and Mr. Holwell informs us, that many colleges of Brahmans are sup ported for the maintenance of these animals. Sir William Joues considers this incarnation of th Divinity to be the Bacchus or Dionysius of the Greeks, who fable that he entered India with an army of Satyrs, headed by Pan. But, Monkeys or Satyrs, some remote tradition connected with the establishments of nations is here strangely embellished, or obscured (or both), by a most extravagant exercise of imagination. C. S. D. DE BERANGER ANGLICIZED. No. VIII. "SI J'ETAIS PETIT OISEAU!" Since e'en amongst the ladies I But as a passenger would live, However distant, here below; Take wing when fav'ring Zephyrs blow Quickly would I cleave the air, If a little bird I were! Where jovial friends their bumpers drain, Next at the captives' dungeon grate I would my saddest notes prolong; My wings I'd hide, and soothe their fate With many a wild and plaintive song. One at my melody might smile, Another in his dreams might see Where moved his steps in infancy: Ennui's the bane of kings, they say, Then, to escape this wicked world, To the far Eastern clime I'd rove; |