at "set fair" seldom or never, though, in his dealings-and at others veering round to "stormy"-a tyrant who, in cases of whitewashing, or a "bolt" across the channel, sometimes suffers as acutely as his victims, and then realizės Byron's beautiful description of Napoleon :

"The desolator desolate,

The victor overthrown;

The arbiter of others' fate,

A suppliant for his own;"

a Moloch, at whose altars parents are compelled by primogeniture to sacrifice their younger children; a fawning spaniel before his debt is incurred, and a savage mastiff afterwards; an enemy to whom no mercy should be extended; who gives not, and, therefore, deserves not, quarter; a disagreeable necessity, a dirty, but indispensable instrument; a living ambush, an incarnate snare; sometimes a dupe, but far oftener a deceiver; a perpetual memento of past follies, standing-like Philip of Macedon's

slave, whose duty it was, daily and nightly, to warn his Royal master, that, though a king, he was but mortal-to remind his victim that there is a judgment, and, probably an

execu

tion," to come; a human milestone on the road to ruin; a living sign-post, pointing towards the Queen's Bench. A being of no principle, yet well-skilled in interest; ignorant of literature, yet a "man of" wafered "letters;" unskilled in military art, except in that of besieging, and still an adept at "hard" single "knocks;" an enchanter, who ought to, but cannot be, spurned; a clever musician, who plays upon the leading chords of the human heart-vanity and folly; a sportsman, who bags the unfortunate Detrimental like a half-fledged "squeaker; a cat, who plays with the mouse, till, weary of the little wretch's struggles, he gives it an awkward dab with his paw, and settles the affair; a mischievous urchin engaged in "flying a kite" -a favourite practice, by the by, occasionally among Younger Sons themselves—which he

allows to soar up for a few minutes, and then, with a tug at the string, pulls neck and crop to the ground.

DETRIMENTAL.-A name originally given to Younger Sons by dowager mammas, who thereby meant to insinuate to their lovely single and marriageable daughters, that a matrimonial alliance with such a wretched being would be a "detriment," to all future happiness, consideration, and comfort; an unlucky devil, placed by Primogeniture in the unenviable predicament of being either a scamp, living by his own wits and the folly of—his creditors, or a poor, penniless, shabby vagabond, with an "Honourable" name, and a seedy coat; a man who ought to have none of the passions or feelings of men-to whom ambition must be a sealed book, champagne ought to be an inexplicable mystery, and woman's -at least virtuous woman's-lip, an enticing, but generally unattainable, Paradise. RECEIPT.-I know nothing about this, for I never had one.

CHAPTER XI.

IN WHICH ARE TREATED OF, VARIOUS IMPORTANT SUBJECTS RELATIVE TO DUNS (AND THE

PROPER MANAGEMENT OF THOSE INTERESTING

BEINGS), WHICH SUBJECTS HAVE BEEN UNAC

COUNTABLY OMITTED IN THE PREVIOUS CHAP

TERS.

"INDEED, sir, I am very short, or I would not have troubled you," was the pathetic address of a suppliant milkwoman to me one day when she was applying for a certain "score," incurred for various pints of chalk and water, alias London milk. "So am I, my good woman, and

when I get long, I will let you know," was my facetious reply. The old lady laughed, and retired without her bill, or rather without its amount.

This, Detrimentals, may be considered as an illustration of my doctrine, that Duns should always be treated with civility and good-humour. I flatter myself that if you carefully peruse this chapter, you will derive such valuable hints therefrom, as will enable you to guard against the unpleasant visitations of lawyers' letters, writs, and arrests. I

I have just been arrested by my tailor. D-n the fellow! It was only yesterday he was so

H