position of the individual Dun with whom you have to deal, upon the amount of your bill, and the space of time during which it has been running; but the experienced Detrimental will at a glance see the frame of mind in which his unpleasant guest happens to be at the time, and will wisely take his measures accordingly. I may also observe here, that if the Dun apply by letter and not personally, the kind of excuses above alluded to are rather more perilous, and this for a very simple reason-verbal promises, like pie-crust, are "made to be broken," but "litera scripta manet.”

Politeness and good temper are, nevertheless, the most efficacious methods of dealing with Duns. Put them at their ease, receive them as if they really were Christians, and there is little doubt that advantageous consequences will ensue. I have known this polite attention towards Duns carried so far even as an invitation to dinner, so that the creature who came to dun, remained to dine.

I do not, however, esteem this a very prudent proceeding, however much it may flatter the Dun's vanity at the time. In such a case the Amphitryon is placed on the horns of this disagreeable dilemma: either he gives his Dun a bad dinner, entailing indigestion, and bad temper on the poor devil next day, or the fare is good, and the wine superb, in which case, the Dun naturally concludes that the cash which should, in his opinion, if not in yours, be devoted to the settlement of his account, is squandered instead upon the "good things of

life."

This, however, would hardly apply, if your guest, the Dun, should happen to be your wine-merchant, as the vulgar fellow would doubtless think it an excellent joke to drink the wine for which you will have to pay him-and satisfied vulgarity is invariably good-humoured. I can see no reasonable objection, however, to offering your Dun a crust of bread and cheese and a glass of wine, if he happens to "drop in" about luncheon time.

I would also advise the Younger Son never to leave any bills lying about upon his table, as it looks bad, especially if he is favoured by a Dun's call. The animal's eyes will, by some strange fascination, be most certainly attracted to those suspicious-looking missives, and it will give him awkward qualms and misgivings as to his own fate, if he sees under his very nose, hosts of applications for payment from his brother vampires. Did the Detrimental actually possess such a rare gem” as a receipt, nothing could be more efficacious than to let that blessed document be visibly exposed in some conspicuous place, to the admiring gaze of his visitor. Here, however, a query will obtrude itself upon my reflecting mind-" Was there ever a Younger Son who possessed a receipt?"

66

Among all the delicious dreams produced by the influence of "sublime tobacco," I think one that I myself enjoyed could not be equalled, certainly not surpassed. It was a year or two ago, in the first week after Christmas; I was

sitting alone in my melancholy and bachelor lodgings; one of Hudson's best cigars was between my lips, and a host of my Christmas bills was lying upon my table, preparatorynot to being paid, but to being put away in a huge box, which I kept for such disagreeable documents. My feet were luxuriously placed upon the chimney-piece, my head was slightly turned round from the fire (a glorious one-I had just let my coal-man in for a fresh supply of "black diamonds!") and my eyes were languidly and despairingly fixed upon the pile of paper atrocities which encumbered my table. Fume after fume of the delicious vapour eddied from my Havannah; my senses became steeped in a pleasing drowsiness, and I dreamed a waking dream. Methought, that suddenly a beautiful little fairy sprang up among the papers (her countenance had a miraculous resemblance to the last heiress who had refused me), and with a golden wand which she bore in her hand, touched all the hated

documents one after the other. Oh, heavenly transformation! On each paper, as the wand touched it, sprang up, in words of fire, the word "Received."

Never shall I forget the bliss of that moment; not one paper was passed over, but all appeared at last stamped with those blessed letters. In my ecstasy I started from my chair; alas! my cigar was out, and there lay the detested papers with not a vestige of the fancied word.

The recollection of that awful moment so unmans me, even now, that I must break off this chapter and have recourse to a Cabana. The Detrimental may perchance find a little interest in the following doggrel: