No. 21. TO MR. JOHN HADDON. Hoxton College, Oct. 27, 1809. "MY DEAR FRIEND, "The expressions of affection your last letter, all your letters, and the whole strain of your conduct towards me evince, greatly affect me, and you will find my feelings upon the subject in Prov. xxvii, 19. Sanctified friendship appears to me to be one of the best sweets in the cup of life. It is what the Savior recommended by his own example, and what the best of men have experienced beneficial in every age. May this kind of friendship be exemplified in us, and may we mutually share in the affections of the heart of Him, who, "having loved his own which were in the world, loved them unto the end!" To his will in all things we must bow, and in his dispensations, however contrary to our inclinations, acquiesce; but "not my will but thine be done," is language which requires a large degree of grace to use in all cases, and from the bottom of our hearts. "Many eyes are indeed upon me, and much do I fear that they will see something in me ere long that will take them from me. Your warnings are faithful, but my heart is still deceitful, and Satan may, for any thing I know, be about to sift me as wheat. You are not ignorant of his devices. Oh! then, pray for me, that my faith fail not, so that instead of the number of those who behold me, turn. ing away from me with disgust and aversion, they may rather glorify God in me, and take knowledge of me that I have been with Jesus. The thought that affords me some degree of encouragement, is, that Jehovah knoweth my path, and that he is able to make me stand, yea to remove the suspicions of those who fear and wait to see.' But really I cannot help thinking that there are some people in the world who seem as if they wished for something to hinder one's usefulness; and who by their too significant expressions on the subject, lead me to suppose that they would rejoice in such a circumstance, and say, 'Oh! so would we have it.' And why? Because then their clever prophecies would be fulfilled, and we should for the future put such confidence in their forebodings as to view them as certain omens of ill events. I do hope, however, that God will in great mercy either keep me from the snares that lie in my way, or take me to himself. "I have to-day written to the Kidderminster people, referring them to the Doctor, or Mr. Wilson. I will try and be with you to-morrow by 12 o'clock. Do not be disappointed if I should not be able. "I remain your's affectionately, THOMAS SPENCER." On Sunday the 5th of November he was appointed to preach at Cambridge, in the pulpit lately occupied by the Rev. Robert Hall, A. M. a name dear to genius, as to religion. The day following he spent in viewing the University. In a letter dated the 3d he says, "last night my surprise was excited by seeing that I am not appointed on the list for any place in town, but for Cambridge. I am to stay Monday over at Cambridge, to look at the colleges, &c. I shall think much of Kirke White;" and aware of the respecability, both in wealth and talent, of the congregation he was called to address, he adds, "the Lord make me prudent and faithful; may it appear that he has some good end to answer by conducting me thither." He was exceedingly attached to the poetry of Henry Kirke White. He could repeat a great part of it, and frequently quoted it with great emphasis and feeling. "And yet," said he, in conversation with the friend to whom these letters are addressed, "there is a thirst for fame sometimes discovered which pains me. "Fifty years hence, and who will hear of Henry." "Well, suppose nobody does, and what then? If Henry has served his day and generation, and is gone to glory, neither the church nor he will be losers; and the hearing of Henry will be too small a consideration to be brought into the account." Public as Spencer's life had now become, and ex. posed as he was to the influence of every unholy passion which popularity might awaken, he_yet maintained a close and humble walk with God. He courted solitude, and for the best of purposes. Of him it may be truly said, 'his fellowship was with the Father, and with his Son Jesus Christ." The holy and the heavenly tone his mind received in those retired hours, gave a peculiar unction to his ministry; and the knowledge which, by deep com. munion with his own heart and constant intercourse with God, he had obtained, rendered his preaching remarkably profitable to believers, and gave him a skill in administering instructions adapted to all the varieties of their experience. Of this, the following is a pleasing specimen. No. 22. TO MR. JOHN HADDON. "MY DEAR FRIEND, November 9, 1809. "Be assured that I, as well as yourself, have walked in darkness, and complained that there was no light. Fluctuations in experience are, I am sure, my lot, whilst my only consolation in such circumstances still remain 'tis the unchangeableness of Christ. Oh! what is so calculated to reconcile our minds to the way our Father calls us to travel, as the recollection, that whilst we are found in it; Jesus is the same, and that to the end of the journey; and in every trying circumstance he is a present help. In darkness he will enable us to trust in the Lord, and to stay ourselves upon our God; yea, he will cheer our desponding souls with visitation. sweet. Seasons in which we experience darkness of mind, and depression of soul, are necessary: they form the analogy between us and those who through tribulation are gone to heaven: they render us fit subjects for the illuminating and refreshing grace of Christ: they add a higher relish to the renewed enjoyment of the light and liberty of the gospel; and they serve to prepare us for that world where the Lord shall be our everlasting life, and our God our glory. "Reflecting upon deliverance from such times of depression should teach us to say-Return unto thy rest, O my soul, for the Lord hath dealt bountifully with thee! It should lead us to anticipate future favors, and rejoice that He that hath delivered us can and will deliver; and since the day has dawned, and the shadows have fled away, we should most cordially adore Him who has been appointed to give light to them who sit in darkness, and to guide our feet into the way of peace. May you and I ever enjoy the presence of Jesus, our best friend; share in his tender sympathy; his kind reproofs; his excellent counsels. May he be our God forever and ever, and our guide even unto death. Then we need fear no evil. If sensible that he is with us, we may pass through midnight glooms, and experience a season of great darkness, and yet look forward to a future time, when with pleasure we shall sing, 'The Lord is my light, of whom shall I be afraid." Oh! that I may be enabled to commit your soul and my own into the hands of Jesus as unto a faithful Creator. I can, now add no more, than to say that "I remain affectionately your's, THOMAS SPENCER." The next letter furnishes another proof of his hu mility and diffidence. It was written the day before it became his turn to preach again in the chapel at Hoxton the Thursday evening lecture, which the tutors usually attend. No. 23. TO MR. HADDON. "MY DEAR FRIEND, December 6, 1809. "I am sensible that Mr. S.'s politeness 'merits' much of us, and if I must name some day for us to meet there it must be Monday next. This we will speak of to-morrow evening. I am sorry |