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with the rest of your dress will mar, rather than improve your appearance; and its having cost you nothing is no reason for wearing it. A present between equals should be merely the expression of a sentiment, and should be well chosen, but not very expensive, even where your means are large. Some rich girls, that are unpopular, strive to gain friends by extravagant gifts; these you may certainly refuse, for the sooner they learn their error, the better. If you have an allowance, and make your presents out of that, your generosity is more exercised than when you draw directly upon your father's purse; in the latter case, he ought to be consulted in the purchases you make to give away, since they are more his gifts than yours.

Always accept a present, however ill-chosen, in the same kind spirit in which it is offered; and never allow yourself to criticise or depreciate it. Let not your appreciation of a gift be according to its intrinsic worth, but according to the value of the sentiment that prompted it. Let the cheapest offering of a rich heart be honoured, and placed among those of greatest price. Some persons are mean enough to calculate the value of the presents they make, and of those they receive in return, to see whether they have their quid pro quo. Such had better turn pedlers at once, and give up the name of lady altogether. If a present, among equals, be not the token of feeling, that must be expressed, it is of no value; and if it be such a token, it is the heart must balance the account, not the purse.

An extensive correspondence among girls of your age is not desirable; it consumes too much time; but a few correspondents are useful as furnishing inducements for you to practice the art of letter-writing. Do not feel bound to write to every girl that begs you to do so; but choose carefully whom you will have in that relation; and when you have a few choice correspondents, do not neglect them and begin every letter

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with an apology; but write in due season, and waste no paper in common-place excuses. Always notice the contents of your friend's letter, and endeavour to write of those things which will most interest her.

Madame de Sevigné praises her daughter for her attention to dates, which, she says, shows an interest in the correspondence; a dateless letter certainly loses much of its value; and they are but too common.

Remember the liability of a letter to miscarry, to be opened by the wrong person, to be seen by other eyes than those for whom it is meant, and be very careful what you write to the disadvantage of any one. Praise and admire as much as you please, but beware of blame. Your judgment may be wrong, and you know not when or where it may come up against you, and make you sorry you ever penned it.

Inexperienced letter-writers often feel provoked with themselves, when they have filled a sheet without touching on some topics that they fully intended to introduce, and perceive that they have spread out one of inferior importance over half their paper. This may be avoided by considering, before you begin, all that you wish to write about, and allowing to each topic its proper space.

If your correspondent require that her letters be kept private from all friends, make it a point of honour to comply with her wishes; only make an exception in favour of your mother, in case she should desire to see the correspondence, for young ladies under age should gracefully acknowledge their parent's right of inspection; though, where there is a proper confidence on both sides, it will rarely be enforced.

The more rational and elevated the topics are on which you write, the less will you care for your letters being seen, or for paragraphs being read out of them; and where there is no need of any secresy, it is best not

to bind your friend by any promises, but to leave it to her discretion.

A letter written in a fair, legible hand, without any blots or erasures, and properly folded, sealed, and directed, is one very good index to a lady's character.

The letters of a regular correspondent should be endorsed, and carefully put away; this facilitates your reference to any one of them, prevents their being lost, or mislaid, or exposed to curious eyes, saves your table from being strewed, and your letter-case from being crowded with them.

The letters of past years should either be destroyed, or carefully locked up, with directions on the box, that in case of your death they are to be returned, unread, to the writers; or, if that cannot be done, that they should be burnt, unread. The disposal of letters after death is often the only important part of a young girl's last will, and yet this is rarely provided for. It is best to be always so prepared, by making the necessary arrangements whilst in health.

The letters of very young persons rarely have any interest beyond the period in which they are written; they are very seldom read after they are a year old, and the idea of keeping them for future perusal is altogether chimerical. Life is too short, and too much crowded with novel interests, to allow time for reading over quires of paper filled with the chat of young girls, however good it may have been in its day; and, therefore, the wisest plan is, to agree with your correspondent to make each a bonfire of the other's letters when they shall be more than a year old. A year's letters are enough for a memorial of your friend, if she be taken from you; and, by keeping the latest, you will have her most mature compositions.

If you lend books, write your name legibly in the

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title-page, and keep a list of those lent, and of the persons borrowing them. Put on paper covers before they go out of your hands, and do the same when you use a borrowed book yourself. If a new book is lent to you, and you have not time to read it directly through, you had better return it, and borrow it again, than keep it lying useless on your shelf, whilst others are longing to have it.

If

you take good care of your own books, you will not be likely to injure those you borrow; but if an accident should happen to a book that you have borrowed, and you can replace it with another equally good, you are bound to do so; if it cannot be replaced, a very earnest expression of regret should accompany it home. The attempt to hide an accident, is often worse than the mishap itself, and offends the owner more.

I have spoken of the danger of rushing too hastily into intimacies, and forming rash judgments from insufficient proof. If this is to be guarded against where the opinion is favourable, it is doubly to be avoided when it is likely to be otherwise. How often do we hear one young girl speak of another, as selfish, and that too on some single instance! It is a very serious thing to pronounce upon the motives of another: selfishness is a grave charge, and should not be lightly made; it should show itself in many unquestionable shapes, before we make up our minds that it is the prevailing disposition in any one. We should remember, also, that if we had no selfishness at all, we should not feel another's, when exercised towards us; and that it is generally those who are most selfish themselves, that are most annoyed at the selfishness of others, and complain most of it.

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CHAPTER XIII.

BEHAVIOUR TO GENTLEMEN.

A GREAT MISTAKE.-EFFECT OF EXAMPLE.-A GOOD LISTENER. PERPETUAL SMILES.-RECEIVING COMPANY ALONE.

PECUNIARY

FAVOURS. JOKES.-CONVERSA

RE

TION. OFFERS AND REFUSALS.-BEHAVIOUR ΤΟ JECTED LOVERS. PRESENTS.-FLATTERY. - DISTINCTION BETWEEN FRIENDS AND ACQUAINTANCES.-EARLY AFFECTIONS.-RELIGION

MARRIAGES.-DISAPPOINTED

THE ONLY CURE FOR A WOUNDED HEART.

WHAT a pity it is, that the thousandth chance of a gentleman's becoming your lover, should deprive you of the pleasure of an unembarrassed intellectual intercourse with all the single men of your acquaintance! Yet such is too commonly the case with young ladies, who have read a great many novels and romances, and whose heads are always running on love and lovers.

Some one has said, that "matrimony is with women the great business of life, whereas with men it is but an incident;" an important one, to be sure, but only one among many to which their attention is directed, and often kept entirely out of view during several years of their early life. Now this difference gives the other sex a great advantage over you; and the best way to equalize your lot, and become as wise as they are, is to think as little about it as they do.

The less your mind dwells upon lovers and matrimony, the more agreeable and profitable will be your intercourse with gentlemen. If you regard men as intellectual beings, who have access to certain sources of knowledge of which you are deprived, and seek to derive all the benefit you can from their peculiar attainments and experience; if you talk to them, as one

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