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GAMES AND RIDDLES.

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In like manner all jesting, bantering, and quizzing, should be very sparingly indulged in, and with constant reference to the feelings of others, or you may inflict a wound before you are aware of it.

There is, in some persons, a diseased sensitiveness which it is impossible to guard against; for they consider every remark made in conversation as a covert attack on them, and immediately begin a personal justification, whilst the unfortunate offender sits by, amazed at the construction put upon her words, and too much disconcerted to disclaim it.

When, in company with your young friends, the conversation flags, or becomes too trifling, or joking is carried too far, it is in the power of some leading spirit to give a new impulse to the party, by proposing to play some of those games which exercise the mind in a useful and innocent manner, and are, at the same time, very amusing. Charades, too, and riddles, and all such puzzles, may occasionally prove an agreeable resource and it is well to have a selection of the best in your memory, ready to be produced in a fitting moment. If any of my readers feel disposed to treat such amusements with contempt, I would beg them to read Mrs. Barbauld's paper on Riddles, as the high authorities she quotes in their favour may reconcile them to this sort of play of the mind. In order to enjoy this sport, a few rules of politeness should be attended to, like the following. Be as willing to puzzle over a riddle, as to give one out. If you are previously acquainted with the solution of a riddle, do not tell it; but let the person who gave it out have that privilege. you do not know it, and do not like to puzzle over it, do not insist on being told what it is, before the rest of the company. If you have no readiness in guessing charades, &c., you can amuse yourself with their ingenuity, when they are explained, and do not

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feel mortified at your ill success, and then try to hide it, by speaking contemptuously of the pastime.

Those who have not learned to think, and have no facility in methodizing and arranging the materials which accumulate in their memories, will find themselves much assisted in the task, by talking over with a friend what they have lately acquired. If that friend be wiser than they are, so much the better; but if not, something will be gained by the effort to express their ideas to another.

Great are the advantages to be reaped from listening attentively to the conversation of intelligent and cultivated people, and you should be earnest to improve every such opportunity. When a sensible discussion of a new book, or interesting topic of any sort, is going on in your presence, you may be justified in breaking off a trifling conversation with one of your own age, and in putting aside any common avocation, in order to give your undivided attention to it.

Good conversation is one of the highest attainments of civilized society. It is the readiest way in which gifted minds exert their influence, and as such, is worthy of all consideration and cultivation. I remember hearing an American ask an English traveller for his opinion on the conversational powers of the Americans compared with those of the English; "Your fluency," he replied, "rather exceeds that of the old world, but conversation in America is not cultivated as an art." The idea of its being so considered anywhere, was new to the company; and much discussion followed the departure of the stranger, as to the desirableness of making conversation an art. Some thought the more natural and spontaneous it was, the better; some confounded art with artifice, and hoped their countrymen would never leave their own plain honest way of talking, to become adepts in hypocrisy

CONVERSATION CULTIVATED AS AN ART.

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and affectation. At last one, a little wiser than the rest, explained the difference between art and artifice, asked the cavillers if they had never heard of the art of thinking, or the art of writing; and said he presumed the art of conversing was of the same nature. And so it is. By this art persons are taught to arrange their ideas methodically, and to express them with clearness and force; thus saving much precious time, and avoiding those tedious narrations, which interest no one but the speaker. It enforces the necessity of observing the effect of what is said, and leads a talker to stop, when she finds that she has ceased to fix the attention of her audience.

The art of conversing would enable a company, when a good topic was once started, to keep it up, till it had elicited the powers of the best speakers, and it would prevent its being cut short in the midst, by the introduction of something entirely foreign to it.

Fluency of speech seems to me a natural gift, varying much in different individuals, and capable of being rendered either a delightful accomplishment, or a most wearisome trait of character, according as it is combined with a well or ill-disciplined mind.

Some persons seem to forget that mere talking is not conversing; that it requires two to make a conversation, and that each must be, in turn, a listener; but no one can be an agreeable companion, who is not as willing to listen as to talk.

Selfishness shows itself in this, as in a thousand other ways; one who is always full of herself, and who considers nothing so important as what she herself thinks, and says, and does, will be apt to engross more than her share of the conversation, even when in the company of those whom she loves.

There are situations, however, wherein it is a kindness to be the chief talker, as when a young lady is the eldest of the party, and has seen something, or

been in some place, the description of which is desired by all around her. If your mind is alive to the wishes and claims of others, you will easily perceive when it is a virtue to talk, and when to be silent. It is undue pre-occupation with self that blinds people, and prevents their seeing what the occasion requires.

Sometimes the most kind and sympathizing person will not do justice to her nature, but will appear to be cold and inattentive, because she does not know that it is necessary to give some sign that she is attending to what is addressed to her. She averts her eye from the speaker, and listens in such profound silence, and with a countenance so immoveable, that no one could suppose her to be at all interested by what she is hearing. This is very discouraging to the speaker, and very unpolite. Good manners require that you should look at the person who speaks to you, and that you should put in a word, or a look, from time to time, that will indicate your interest in the narrative. A few interjections happily thrown in by the hearer, are a great comfort and stimulus to the speaker; and one who has always been accustomed to this evidence of sympathy or comprehension in her friends, feels, when listened to without it, as if she were talking to a dead wall.

CHAPTER XVIII.

VISITS.

USES OF CEREMONY.-MORNING CALLS.-FRIENDLY VISITS. -CONFORMITY TO FAMILY RULES. -A SNARE TO BE AVOIDED.-RECEIVING AND RETURNING CALLS.-TROU BLE OF DOMESTICS.-NEATNESS IN YOUR CHAMBER.CHANGE OF CIRCUMSTANCES BY MARRIAGE.-MISTAKES

OF THE

RICH. USEFULNESS OF YOUNG GIRLS.A CAUTION.-CONFIDENCE BETWEEN HOST AND GUEST.

VISITS may be either ceremonious or friendly, and, in populous places, the one are as necessary as the other. Some persons have a great dread of ceremony, as if it implied a sacrifice of sincerity and simplicity; but the thing meant by it is merely an established rule for regulating little particulars of conduct, in which all are desirous of doing what is expected of them, but would not know what that was, unless there, was such a guide. These usages vary in different places, but it is easy to ascertain what they are, and then, by conforming to them, you are sure to do right.

However laughable it may appear to some persons to see bits of pasteboard, with names on them, left at the doors of houses, it is a most convenient custom, and the only way of being sure that your call will be known to your friend, for no domestic can be expected to remember a number of strange names given verbally in one morning. All such usages have a meaning and a use, and grow out of the necessities of populous places. Etiquette is intended to save us from some of the inconveniences attendant on a large acquaintance; and, by settling certain points, it enables us to keep up a ceremonious acquaintance with a circle too large for friendly visiting, as that consumes far

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