opponents; but then only one of the five answered, it so happening that the other four were absent, disqualified as being petitioned against, or exempt, while both of the two answered!- You should have seen the chagrined faces, and heard the loud acclamations of "Ts!-ts!-ts!" on either side of the House, when their own men's names were thus abortively called over!the delight visible on the other side! -The issue long hung in suspense; and at length the scales were evenly poised, and the House was in a state of exquisite anxiety; for the next eligible name answered to, would really determine which side was to gain or lose a seat. ،، Sir Ezekiel Tuddington"— cried the Speaker, amidst profound and agitated silence. He was one of the opposition-but answered not; he was absent. "Ts! ts! ts!" I cried the op position. "Gabriel Grubb" This was a ministerial man, who rose and said he was serving on another committee. "Ts! ts! ts!" cried the ministerial side. "Bennet Barleycorn"-(opposition) -petitioned against, “Ts! ts! ts! vehemently cried the opposition. "PHELIM O'DOODLE "Here!" exclaimed that honourable member, spreading triumph over the ministerial, and dismay over the opposition side of the House; and the thirty-three names having been thus called and answered to, a loud buzz arose on all sides—of congratulation or despondency. The fate of the petition, it was said, was already as good as decided. The parties having retired to "strike "* the committee, returned in about an hour's time, and the following members were then sworn in, and ordered to meet the next morning at eleven o'clock: Ministerial. (1.) Sir Simper Silly. (2.) Noah No-land. (3.) Phelim O'Doodle, (4.) Micah M'Squash. (5.) Sir Caleb Calf. (6.) Och Hubbaboo. *See APPENDIX. Opposition. (1.) Castleton Plume. (4.) Sir Simon Alkmond, Bart. And the six, of course, on their meeting, chose the chairman, who was a sure card-to wit, SIR CALEB CALF, Bart.f Mr Delamere's counsel and agents, met at consultation that evening, all together with Mr Delamere himself, with the depressed air of men who are proceeding with any undertaking of our committee?" inquired, with a contra spem. "Well, what think you significant smile, Mr Berrington, the eloquent, acute, and experienced leadtheir shoulders, but at length agreed ing counsel. All present shrugged that even with such a committee, their case was an overpowering one; that no committee could dare to shut their to such an array of facts as were eyes here collected; the clearest case of AGENCY made out-Mr Berrington declared-that he had ever known in all his practice; and eleven distinct at least three unexceptionable witnesscases of BRIBERY, supported each by es; together with half-a-dozen cases of TREATING; in fact, the whole affair, it was admitted, had been admirably got up, under the management of Mr must succeed. Crafty, who was present, and they "Of course, they'll call for proof of AGENCY first," quoth Mr Berrington, brief; "and we'll at once fix thiscarelessly glancing over his enormous what's his name-the Unitarian parson, Muff-Muffin-ch?" "Mudflint-Smirk Mudflint "Aha!-Well!-we'll begin with him, and- -then trot out Bloodsuck and Centipede. Fix them the rest all follow, and they'll strike, in spite of their committee-or-egad-we'll have a shot at the sitting member himself." By eleven o'clock the next morn ing the committee and the parties were in attendance-the room quite crowded such an array of Yatton case faces! There, near the chairman, | of principal and agent in rerum naturâ; with his hat perched as usual on his there never was in this world an agent bushy hair, and dressed in his ordi- who had a principal, or a principal narily extravagant and absurd style who had an agent.-Take only, for his glass screwed into his eye, his instance, the case of Mudflint. He hands stuck into his hinder coat-pock- was proved to have been from first to ets, and resting on his hips, stood Mr last an active member of Mr Titmouse's Titmouse; and after the usual preli- committee; attending daily, hourly, minaries had been gone through, up and on hundreds of occasions, in the rose Mr Berrington with the confident presence of Mr Titmouse-canvassing air of a man going to open a winning with him-consulting him-making and an overwhelming one he appointments with him for calling on did open the chairman glancing voters, which appointments he invarigloomily at the five ministerials on ably kept; letters in his handwriting his right, and then inquisitively at the relating to the election, signed some five opposition members on his left. by Mr Titmouse, some by Mr Gammon; The statement of Mr Berrington was lu- circulars similarly signed, and distriminous and powerful. As he went on, buted by Mudflint, and the addresses he disclosed almost as minute and ac- in his handwriting; several election curate a knowledge of the movements bills paid by him on account of Mr Titof the Yellows at Yatton, as Mr Gam- mouse; directions given by him and mon himself could have supplied him observed, as to the bringing up voters with. That gentleman shared in the to the poll; publicans' bills paid at dismay felt around him. 'Twas clear the committee-room, in the presence that there had been infernal treachery; of Mr Titmouse—and, in short, many that they were all ruined. "By Jove! other such acts as these were establishthere's no standing up against this- ed against all three of the above in spite of our committee-unless we persons. Such a dreadful effect did all break them down at the agency-for this have upon Mr Bloodsuck and Mr Berrington don't overstate his cases," Centipede, that they were obliged to whispered Mr Granville, the leading go out, in order to get a little gin-andcounsel for the sitting member, to one water; for they were indeed in a sort of his juniors, and to Gammon; who of death-sweat. As for Mudflint, he sighed, and said nothing. With all seemed to get sallower and sallower his experience in the general business every minute; and felt almost disposed of his profession, he knew, when he to utter an inward prayer, had he said this, little or nothing of what thought it of the slightest use. Mr might be expected from a favour- Berrington's witnesses were fiercely able election committee. Stronger and cross-examined, but no material imstronger, blacker and blacker, closer pression was produced upon them; and closer, came out the petitioner's and when Mr Granville, on behalf of The five opposition members the sitting member, confident and vopaid profound attention to Mr Berring- luble, rose to prove to the committee ton, and took notes; while, as for the that his learned friend's case was one ministerials, one was engaged with his of the most trumpery that had ever betting-book, another writing out come before a committee franks, in which he dealt, a third con- bottle of smoke;-that the three gentlening over an attorney's letter, and two men in question had been no more the were quietly playing together at " Tit- agents of the sitting member than tat-to. As was expected, the com- was he, the counsel then on his legs, the mittee called peremptorily for proof of agent of the Speaker of the House of AGENCY; and I will say only, that if Commons, and that every one of the Smirk Mudflint, Barnabas Bloodsuck, petitioner's witnesses was unworthy and Seth Centipede, were not fixed as of belief in fact perjured how sudthe "AGENTS" of the sitting member-denly awake to the importance of the then there is no such relation as that investigation became the ministerialist case. a mere members! They never removed their | air, "that the evidence already adduced eyes from Mr Granville, except to take notes of his pointed, cogent, unanswerable observations! He called no witnesses. At length he sat down; and strangers were ordered to withdraw-and 'twas well they did: for such an amazing uproar ensued among the committee, as soon as the five opposition members discovered, to their astonishment and disgust, that there was the least doubt amongst their opponents as to the establishment of agency, as would not, possibly, have tended to raise that committee, as a judicial body, in public estimation. After an hour and a half's absence, strangers were re-admitted. Great was the rush-for the fate of the petition hung on the decision to be immediately pronounced. As soon as the counsel had taken their seats, and the eager, excited crowd had been subdued into something like silence, the chairman, Sir Caleb Calf, with a flushed face, and an uneasy expression, read from a sheet of foolscap paper, which he held in his hand, as follows: is not sufficient to satisfy them as to the agency of Messrs Mudflint, Bloodsuck, and Centipede ?" "The committee meant, sir, to express as much," replied the chairman dryly, and he sealed a letter with affected indifference: affected indeed! the letter being one addressed to a friend, to desire him forthwith to take a hostile message on his-the chairman's behalf to Colonel D'Eresby, one of the committee, who had, during the discussion with closed doors, spoken his mind pretty freely concerning the conduct of the aforesaid chairman! "Good heavens !" exclaimed Mr Berrington, on receiving the chairman's answer to his inquiry, in a tone of voice loud enough to be heard all over the room, "neither would they believe though one rose from the dead." "We'd better strike," said his juniors. "I think so, too," said Mr Berrington; adding, as he turned towards the committee with an air of undisguised disgust, "I protest, sir, that never in the whole course of my experience have I been so astounded as I am at the decision which has just been an cumstances, the committee will be pleased to adjourn till the morning, to give us an opportunity of considering the course we shall pursue." This produced a great sensation. "Resolved-That the Petitioner's Counsel be directed to proceed with evidence of AGENCY," [i. e. the committee were of opinion that no sufficient evidence had yet been given, to estab-nounced. Probably, under these cirlish Messrs Mudflint, Bloodsuck, and Centipede, as the agents of Mr Titmouse, in the election for Yatton!] The five opposition members sat with stern indignant faces, all with their backs turned towards the chairman; and nothing but a high tone of feeling, and chivalrous sense of their position, as members of a public committee of the House of Commons, prevented their repeating in public their fierce protest against the monstrous decision at which the committee, through the casting voice of the redoubtable chairman, had arrived. Their decision was not immediately understood or appreciated by the majority of those present. After a pause of some moments, and amidst profound silence "Have I rightly understood the resolution of the committee, sir," inquired Mr Berrington with an amazed Certainly, let it be so," replied the chairman blandly, yet anxiously; and the committee broke up. Before they met again, three shots a-piece had been exchanged between him and Colonel D'Eresby-"happily without effect," and the parties left the ground in as hostile a spirit as they had reached it. I will say for the Colonel, that he was a plain, straightforward soldier, who did not understand nonsense, nor could tolerate coquetting with an oath. Of course the petition is dropped?" said Mr Berrington bitterly, as soon as all were assembled in the evening, in consultation at his chambers. Of course," was the answer, in a sufficiently melancholy tone. The next morning they again appeared before the committee. "I have to inform the committee," commenced Mr Berrington with sufficient sternness, that my learned friends and I, who had, in our igno "So help me Heaven!" said Mr Berrington, "I feel disposed to say I will never appear again before a committee. This sort of thing cannot go on much longer! To think that every man of that committee is sworn before God a true judgment to give accord-rance and inexperience, imagined, till ing to the evidence! I'll take care to yesterday, that the evidence we then strike every one of those six men off opened was ten times more than suffifrom any future list that I may have cient to establish agency before any to do with !" legal tribunal" "I can say only," remarked the second counsel, a calm and experienced lawyer, "that, in my opinion, had all of us sat down to frame, beforehand, a perfect case of agency-with facts at will-we could never have framed one stronger than the one to-day declared insufficient." "I have been in seven other petitions," said Mr Berrington, "this very week; but there the sitting members were Tories: Gracious Heaven! what facts have been there held sufficient proof of agency!--The Barnard Castle committee yesterday held that, to have been seen once shaking hands in a pastry cook's shop with the sitting member, was sufficient evidence of agency-and we've lost the seat! In the Cucumber Committee, a man who by chance stood once under a doorway with the sitting member, in a sudden shower of rain-was held thereby to have become his agent; and we there also lost the seat!Faugh! what would foreigners say if they heard such things?" "It's perhaps hardly worth mentioning," said Mr Parkinson; "but this "Counsel will be pleased to moderate their excitement, and to treat the committee with due respect," interrupted the chairman warmly, and reddening as he spoke; while the ministerial members looked fiercely at Mr Berrington, and one or two placed their arms a-kimbo. -"have come to the determination to withdraw the petitioner's case from before the committee; as, under existing circumstances, it would be utterly absurd to attempt" "Fait, sir, an' you're mighty indacent-ye are—an' you'd better keep a civil tongue in your head," said Mr O'Doodle fiercely, and with an insolent look at Mr Berrington. Sir," said the latter, addressing Mr O'Doodle with a bitter smile-" as it is possible to stand where I do with out ceasing to be a gentleman, so it is possible to sit there without becoming one." "Sir-Misther Chairman-I'll only just ask you, sir-isn't that a brache of privelige" Oh, be aisy-aisy wid ye-and isn't he hired to say all this?" whisafternoon I happened to see Mr O'Gib-pered Mr Hubbaboo; and the indig bet dining with Mr O'Doodle, Mr Hub- nant senator sat down. baboo, and Mr M'Squash, off pork and greens, at the Jolly Thieves' Tavern, in Dodge Street- -I-I-they were talking together very eagerly" "The less we say about that the better," replied Mr Berrington; "I have not had my eyes shut, I can tell you! It's a hard case, Mr Crafty; but after all your pains, and the dreadful expense incurred, it's nevertheless quite farcical to think of going on with a committee like this" "Of course the petition is abandoned," replied Crafty. "The petition is withdrawn, sir," said Mr Berrington calmly. Then," subjoined his opponent, as quietly rising as his learned friend had sat down, "I respectfully apply to the committee to vote it Frivolous and vexatious." Possibly the committee will pause before going that length," said Mr Berrington gravely; but he was mistaken. Strangers were ordered to withdraw; and, on their re-admission, the chairman read the resolution of the committee, that "Tittlebat Tit and the public an idea of the important service performed by the committee, rose and moved that the evidence should be printed—which was ordered. mouse, Esq., had been and was duly elected to serve for the borough of Yatton; and that the petition against his return was FRIVOLOUS and VEXATIOUS" by which decision, all the costs and expenses incurred by Mr Titmouse were thrown upon his opponent, Mr Delamere—a just penalty for his wanton and presumptuous attempt. This decision was welcomed by the crowd in the committee-room with clapping of hands, stamping of feet, and cheering.-Such was the fate of the YATTON PETITION. Mr Titmouse, on entering the House that evening, was received with loud cheers from £3:10: 7+ £3000 = £3003:10: 74." the ministerial benches: and within Thus might our friend Titmouse a few minutes afterwards, Lord Fred- exclaim, "Out of this nettle danger erick Brackenbury, to give the House | I've plucked the flower safety!" The next day a distinguished patriot gathered some of the blooming fruit of the Bill for giving Everybody Everything—not for himself personally, however, but as a trustee for the public; so, at least, I should infer from the following fact, that whereas, in the morning, his balance at his banker's was exactly £3, 10, 74.—by the afternoon, it was suddenly augmented to £3003, 10s. 74d. shortly expressed thus: CHAPTER V. MR TITMOUSE ACQUIRES SUDDEN DISTINCTION IN THE HOUSE OF COMMONS. 'Twas, indeed, fortunate for the coun- ting members could not think of seritry, that such, and so early, had been ously contesting. Against this, the the termination of the contest for the sitting members' counsel remonstrated representation of Yatton; for it enabled with indignant energy, on which the Mr Titmouse at once to enter, with all committee thought best to let him the energy belonging to his charac- take his own course, which would ex ter, upon the discharge of his legisla- tail its own consequences - viz. that torial functions. The next day after the opposition to the petition would be his own seat had been secured to him voted frivolous and vexatious. A vast by the decision of the committee, he deal of evidence was then adduced, was balloted for, and chosen one of the after which, as might have been exmembers of a committee of which pected, the committee reported to the Swindle O'Gibbet, Esquire, was chair- House, that Lord Beverly de Wynston man, for trying the validity of the re- (who owned half the county for which turn of two Tory impostors for an he had presumed to stand) and Sir Irish county. So marvellously quick Harry Eddington (who owned pretty an insight into the merits of the case near the other half), both being residid he and his brethren in the com- dent in the county, had been unduly mittee obtain, that they intimated, on returned; that two respectable gentlethe conclusion of the petitioner's coun- men,, Mr O'Shirtless and Mr O'Toddy sel's opening address, that it would be the one a discarded attorney's clerk, quite superfluous for him to call wit- and the other an insolvent publican, nesses in support of a statement of neither of whom had ever been in the facts, which it was presumed the sit-county till the time of the election— |