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bookseller saying: I am going to make a spurning chariot, whose steeds are the book of these neat little scraps I bought winged dragons of puffery, blatant with from you. Throw me in some rubbish, purchased praise ! Hide your diminished gratis, if you would have the thing your heads, ye wizards and witches of antiquity! own ; otherwise I'll put you in some one Mighty was mummery in its day, but else's hands, and then see what a figure mammon is mightier far. you'll cut. The poor devil of an author, Meanwhile the winnows move always in terror of being edited, scratches his head, faster, and the chaff-heaps of oblivion are grumbles, demurs, bargains at length for a white. A few scattered grains have we bonus of a few pounds, or the wiping out of picked up to regale you with, O readers, in an equivalent score, and so the miracle is a dearth of better fare. We might have wrought. A few random sketches in a been solemn and sour throughout, and magazine, with other useless odds and ends, shown good cause enough, but, after all, to are thrown into the wonder-working caul- what purpose ?—what we bade you to was dron of the modern male Medea, and out sound and wholesome, and for what we comes, in two or three half-guinea volumes, offered you not, why waste in idle grumbneatly bound in cloth, and gilt on the back- ling the cheerfulness of our frugal repast ? a new work.
For truly a new work it is, 'Tis true these latter have been lean barand now for the first time the world hears vests, and we could not avoid some brief of it ; even the before unwilling parent can- allusion to the mishaps of the time; but not help being proud of the glorious bant- still men manage to exist, and better days, ling, new christened as it is, if not new richer harvests, are surely, though slowly, born-rechauffé, bodily and spiritually, by coming. And for this dust that chokes and the magician of Paternoster-row, or the blinds us, will not the winds that raised it, Colchian of Burlington-street, lords of the also carry it away? Be ye content and “inky Euxine,” dwellers by the English thankful then for what our leniency has Phasis, where is the real golden fleece, and won for you; where we have gleaned and fleecers too in plenty-riders in earth- gathered, ye also may search and glean.
SONG OF O'RUARC.
Oh! name not the false one--awaken not here
Her words were deceitful, and false was her vow;
I loved her_I loved her-and well has she known
But name her no more--for her glory has fled,
MOCK-IRISH WORKS. *
We can really stand this no longer. Pa- successive sets of creditors, when all other tience is said to be a virtue ; but it may run expedients fail, has this sure resource of writo seed, and so become a vice. “ Charity ting libels upon some country not lately suffereth long and is kind; for charity is not done, as the trade have it. He must live easily provoked;" but when it is provoked somewhere; travelling is rather costly to be well, no matter, we won't get into a passion. sure; but then it is incredible how far a little Dignity, come up, and save us from giving judicious travelling may be made to go, in our libellers the satisfaction of seeing how the sketchy way. A good guide book can, much they have vexed us.
by most Englishmen of ordinary schooling, Vexed ?--'twould vex a saint. Here we be turned into a very pleasant—that is saleare, as a nation and a country, bespattered, able book on any given country, within six and bedaubed, and be-rebelled, and, in all months from the date of the order. Latimanner of ways bedevilled, by a set of job- tude, and longitude reckoning from Greenbers in literature, antiquities, and the pictu- wich, are matters of discount in the bargain; resque, until, like the metamorphosed clown and very fairly so. It would be absurd to in the play, we utterly scoff at our alleged pay as much per sheet for Italy as for Nova identity. Never, of a verity, since time be- Zembla. A man to go anywhere out of gan, did an over-ruling nation amuse them- Europe requires capital ; so, six or seven per selves so cheaply and deliberately at their cent. is allowed for that. Then there is life vassals' expense, as our bookmaking masters insurance, which is usually rather high for do. The Spartans made their Helots drunk, your interesting (that is, devilish ill-looking) that they might jibe and make fun of their Paternoster Row-ian. Generally speaking, degradation. But the race of Bull are of a the English lose, and the Scotch gain, by more sedate turn. They like domestic pas- this part of the transaction, as indeed they times better than their types of Lacedæmon frequently do by all the other parts. For a did. Drunkenness is a lie to nature, but then true born Sassenach looks hungry, when he it is an evanescent lie. Nature comes back is hungry: For the life of him he can't to the debauched and belied slave; and na- look otherwise: he is out of spirits, and very ture will not be laughed at even by slave miserable. But Alexaundher knows better owners : for nature is good and true ; nature how to worm his way. He knows that to be is our mother; and there is no falsehood in treated well, you must contrive to look as if maternity. The ridiculous, the ribald, and you were used to it. As we once heard him the grotesque, are but forms of the false, in declare—“There's naething so depressin to greater or in less degree; and our worshipful a man's aixpactations, as not to be able to good masters being somewhat indolent grown, luke as eef ye dedn't care a when-stane and besides, as we have said, of a domestic aboot them.” moral turn, they prefer to reach the proven- We have often compassionated unhappy der, whereon their vanity and scorn of the countries, as we were perennially reminded residue of mankind is daily fed, through the in the advertising columns of the Athenæum, patent process of a stereotype edition.. how repeatedly and mercenarily they were
Hence the absurd caricatures of America done. Forgive us, reader, for the use of the and the Americans, which abound in Great peddling and mercenary word; had we any Britain. A scamp who has broken his in. Other that would at our bidding represent all dentures, or a ne'er-do-weel who has robbed that mystery of mammon, whereby the arts, the history, the literature, the institutions, so the heartof Ireland, for the sake of the hospiand the picturesque scenery of a country is tality and sympathy shown us by those who pelfed, we should not stain our pages by the were afar off, blunts the keen edge of our repatois phrase. But what can you call dirt, ex- sentment towards those who are more near. cept-dirt ? If you use charitable synonymes It cannot fairly be laid to our charge, that we or polite paraphrases, people will never find out have nationally omitted the duties of hospiwhat you mean. If a warning against being tality. Many as there have been to rise up gulled is requisite, and that the detection of against us, the reproach of the injured or imposture is desirable, above all things it is the slighted stranger has never, we believe, essential that there should be no mistake been heard. Many a houseless wanderer, upon the matter. When a country is taken many an outcast from more sunny climes,in hands by a Scotchman-then all that can many an unhappy exile for his own fault or be said for that country is, that it is—done. folly, has come to sit down by our hearth:Often, as we were saying, have we compas- which of these have we betrayed or spurned ? sionated ill fated countries turned without In good sooth, we bave exercised in times compunction into small change, their tradi- past far too little just and selfprotective jeations traduced, their antiquities discredited, lousy. Our public offices and private waretheir annals misrepresented, their great men houses have by degrees not only ceased to held up to view in ridiculous, or mean, or be exclusively Irish, but have absolutely beerroneous points of view; and all because a come exclusive of Irish. The dialect spohungry lowlander and a British wholesale ken there no longer bears a resemblance to broker in Voyages and Travels unite to have the vernacular. It has grown into a guttural, it so done.
* 1.-Illustrations of Ireland, published in Monthly Parts; Engravings by the most eminent Artists ;
the Letter-press by N. P. Willis, Esq., London : VERTUE. 2.-Lewis's Topographical Dictionary. 3.- Ireland, -Her Scenery, People, and Character. By Mr. and Mrs. S. C. Hall. London: FISHER
harsh, snap-penny jargon, ill compounded of But, God help us, it has at length come to Manchester twang and Glasgow snarl, with our turn to be done. Long experience in a bad imitation of both, induced by the dewholesale ironmongery, wholesale haberdash- spondent conviction amongst the few. natives ery, and wholesale of all other kinds, has that still lurk about the premises, that their taught our immigrating neighbours what a chance of non-expulsion and non-starvation, softhearted, easygoing, unsuspecting race of rests chiefly on the cultivation of whatever men inhabit Ireland. And we are beginning powers of mimicry they may happen to at last-too late to discover the purpose possess. and system of these interlopers. Scotchmen When one Scotchman gets into an estabmay be very good people in their own coun- lishment, workshop, or office, every Irishman try; but we have always been of opinion that in it may consider himself served with a no people are improved by becoming exiles contingent notice to quit. Within three for money's sake in another land. If a man months, there will be in that concern a vawill cut loose from father-land, and cast life- cancy, as sure as the rising of the sun ; and anchor on another shore, and if with all his that vacancy will be filled up“ by an exheart he can say unto his adopted land, -treemely staidy auctive young mon, a cousin be thou my refuge and my dwelling place, of my mether's.” Our middle classes are eathere will I spend my days, and within thy en out of their own land by English stewconfines shall my bones be laid; if he teach ards, and agents, and officials; and our workhis children to love and honour that land, ing men are whispered and circumvented out because it is unto them as a native land, of employment, by an indefatigable swarm then God forbid we should say unto such a of Caledonian sappers and miners. one-brokenhearted it may be in his bear- One of the effects of this state of things in' place, and involuntarily an outcast from has been the suppression and discouragement the burying ground of his parents ;-go of every thing Irish, in art and literature, whence you came, we will accord you no lot in Ireland. Atmosphere, contact, association, amongst us. Far be such language from us. all that in other lands contribute to naturalScattered as our race has for centuries been, ize and domesticate foreign settlers, have over the wide length and breadth of the ex- no more effect upon our quarter-masters ile world, and cowardly and basely as Irish- than the south wind upon Lapland icemen have been treated in too many places, bergs. They are not to be won or thawed. the momory of kindliness and shelter, or They have learned political horticulture, and brotherliness and honour in adversity, comes when they undergo transplantation, gather over our spirit from France and America their roots into a hard bulb of Saxon loam, and Spain; and as five good men were or Pictish gravel, as the case may be ; and deemed enough to turri aside infinite anger, within that narrow circumference they fat
ten and flourish, always with the reserved cleanly; tisn't pleasant; tisn't cheap, even at intention of making off in the end, to their “a shilling." ancient soil.
It is with sincere regret that we are comThus it comes to pass that every Irish jour- pelled to add to our list of anti-national nal has to struggle with unfair and unnatural works, the recent production of Mr. and Mrs. difficulties; with un-Irish and untrue preju- Hall. If acquaintance with their former dices; with exotic hostility in high places; writings had not filled us with hope, it had and above all, with the debauched and dis- contributed at least to disarm our apprehen. eased notions among ourselves, which a long sions that from them we were in danger of reign of officious and denationalizing intru- elaborate, serious, and systematic deprecia. sion has generated and prolonged. And tion. The clever though perpetually half-Irish thus also it happens that works of a more sketches of Irish life, for which the English miscellaneous description, professing to illus- public have long been indebted to Mrs. Hall, trate or describe the country, find toleration were not with us exciting topics either of among a large and moneyed class of the soi- praise or blame. We took it for granted that disant Irish public.
the worthy authoress really believed they Were it not for these pestiferous causes, were true likenesses of character and society we might possibly have been spared the ex- here; and as we saw no likelihood of any cessively disagreeable and dirty task of great harm arising from the errors they conhandling such a production as “ Ireland Illus- tained, we chose rather to acquiesce than trated ;" which by many degrees exceeds in to quartel. misrepresentation and impertinence, anything But whether we are to attribute any or all we have yet had the misfortune to encounter. of the increased disposition to burlesque and The work professes to give engraved views to disparage her native land, which her new of our most distinguished scenes and public work displays, to the circumstance of her edifices. What merit the original sketches husband having united in its composition, or may possess we are unable to say ; but the to some other cause to us unknown and by execution of the plates is as indifferent as us uncared for, we feel that it were a tame any un-Irishman need desire. With one or surrender of the rights of popular censorship, two uninteresting exceptions, the delineations if we suffered such a work to pass,—not into are unfaithful, and the impression conveyed circulation, for that we take to be impossible, unlike the reality. But all this we might save among an anti-national clique who love ascribe to blundering or indifference. They libels upon every thing in the country they are only Irish views; and what Cockney en- are ashamed to own-but into toleration, graver can be expected to take as much without recording our marked and almost trouble about them, as he would about the unqualified reprehension of its tone, so far as illustrations of any other country ? Were it has yet gone. there nothing more deliberate in the affair We take up the first number of “ Ireland, therefore, than the bad worth given for the its scenery, character, &c." and what do we purchaser's money, we might leave things to find ? Two pages of the commonest comfind their own level, as the strange mis-re- monplace upon steam and steam boats, presentative of Kilkenny is wont to say. the interesting fact that the passage from
But our charity gives up the ghost when Holyhead to Dublin usually occupies six a professed caricaturist, like Mr. N. P.Willis, hours, and that from Liverpool to Dublin is engaged to do the literary descriptions twelve,—the assurance that a great many that form two thirds of the monthly libel. pigs and eggs perform the voyage in safety The reading world is pretty familiar with every day in the year,-an unacknowledged that gentleman's knack at burlesque; and quotation from the stereotyped puffs of the there being a laughable side to most things Steam Packet Companies, touching“ fittings in this anomalous world, we should not have up and accommodation,"—the never before been angry at “Inklings” of travel in Ire- articulated hit at the English for knowing land, by the smartest young man that America more of the continent than they do of Irehas yet been answerable for. But we object land,—and by way of cayenne to this sad very much to dull fudge. We have rather and cold crambe repetita, a solemn and unan aversion to witless, driftless, and wanton reasoned denunciation of the Repeal of the abuse. We dont wish to be praised or flat- Union. If Mr. Hall has any ambition tered as a people, or as a country; but some to inveigh upon that much vexed topic, surely how or other, we dont like to be vomited the whole wide world of newspaperism and upon once a month, even by the smartest pamphletism is open to him, without invaand flippantest of yankee inklers. Tisn't ding in this absurd and ill bred fashion, the
neutral ground of drawing room literature. pied by Barry the painter, and not a sentence Is no corner to be left sacred ? Are we about one of the most original and truly to be driven to buff and cabal on our notable men of his kind that ever lived. loungers and sofas, or across our oak-root Then we have the really valuable subject of work tables, to the peril of ancient china and those dim dwelling places of the wretched ormolu? Is this the aim of Mr. Hall, to the public prisons, mentioned, not to tell us scatter his damped fireworks under sham any thing of the morale, which one would labels, into those last refuges of quiet and imagine such places might easily enough undisturbed society in Ireland, where men suggest; but apparently for no better purpose of different creeds and politics meet to for- than to give an account of a murder and get their wearisome divisions ? We arraign robbery committed by two men who were Mr. Hall of this peculiar sin, because, we duly convicted, and one of whom having done cannot believe our fair countrywoman is an- his best to escape out of jail, didn't succeed; swerable therefor.
together with an accurate description of his The next attractive topic, to which no person, and features : all which, if “commufewer than five extensive pages are devoted, nicated" in time to the Weekly Dispatch, or is mendicancy. Reader—if you want to be the Age, might have been “most acceptable,” made sick of cheap charity, and if you would but which it utterly baffles our coinprehension seek thoroughly to know the inspired meaning to account for, as an illustration even of Irish of that precept, which commandeth thee not crime. For Mr. Hall must know, or he to suffer thy right hand to know what thy assuredly ought to know, that neither the left hand giveth, read and reckon the number offence nor the delinquents he has wasted of halfpence which the beggars of Cork re- so many words upon, nor the characterisceived, by their own account, from Mr. and tics however true he has given of them, are Mrs. Hall. In the name of—beggary, what in the least degree illustrative of either the do the public want with these unmeaning sins or the offenders, which are ordinarily to chronicles ? Still worse, however, are the be found in Ireland. To what end then have minute and disgusting records of slang, wit- we instances, which are samples of nothing? less and pointless, which help to fill these We had hoped to find some improvement dreary pages. Think of such specimens of in the succeeding numbers, but unhappily Irish humour as these : “May the spotted fe- we have been disappointed. Every body may ver split ye in four halves;" and, “Foxy-head, be supposed to know his own business best; Foxy-head," being called out by one to ano- Mr. Hall knows his market better, doubtther, “ May you never see the Dyer," was less than we do; and if “ Misrepresentations the instant answer. Who are they, we would of Ireland, her People and Scenery” are still ask, that these exquisite specimenis are in- in demand in London, the principles of free tended for? Is this the way to give stran- trade declare that it is right and proper there gers any new motive to visit our country ? should be an adequate supply. What LondonÖr, what is far more important, is this the ers write or read of us is matter of comparaway to raise the self-esteem and honest esti- tively small concern in our regard. The mation of our people by themselves ? old Spanish proverb says, "the injurer can
The next item is a story not devoid of na- not afford to be just;" and the belief is not tural interest, but written in a dialect that new in Ireland, that the instinct of injury, seems, as a witty friend of ours once said of which is stronger than reason or interest far, the language of a cockney-fied Kerryman, to compels and will continue to compel the have been born half way across the channel. feeling of England, to think as ill of us as
Cork being selected as the starting point it can find excuse for. Of such it were unof observation, we have a few particulars of worthy of us to complain. History will try the buildings and scenery of that city and both us and you; you may buy what epheneighbourhood. What a delicious volume meral slanders you like; but the judgment of of gossip George Petrie or Father Prout time, and the verdict of surrounding nations, would put together-without effort or blemish rich as you are, you cannot buy; and to that or one unwelcome thought being suffered to tribunal we appeal. intrude-of the rich materials that lie along One regret only we do feel and own,the pleasant banks of that sweet river Lee. that a witness against her country should Somebody surely gave our authors hints of have been found among our countrywomen. topics upon setting out, for many of the best We heartily acquit Mrs. Hall of any ill inare noted, aimed at, and—missed. Thus we tention. In any portions of the work that have a little sketch of the house once occu- we can discriminate as hers, there is but lit