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afhes, and perfumed them with the dung of the Stinkbing fem. Her arms and legs were entwined with the fhining entrails of an heifer: from her neck there hung a pouch compofed of the ftomach of a kid: the wings of an oftrich overshadowed the fleshy promontories behind; and before fhe wore an apron formed of the thaggy ears of a lion.

The chiefs of the feveral Kraals, who were fummoned to affiit at their nuptials, formed a circle on the ground, fitting upon their heels, and bowing their heads between their knees in token of reverence. In the centre the illuArious prince with his fable bride repofed upon foft cufhions of cow-dung. Then the Surri or chief prieft approached them, and in a deep voice chaunted the nuptial rites to the melodious grumbling of the Gom-gom; and at the fame time (according to the manner of Caffraria) bedewed them plentifully with the urinary benediction. The bride and bridegroom rubbed in the precious ftream with extafy; while the briny drops trickled from their bodies, like the oozy furge from the rocks of Chirigriqua.

The Hottentots had feen the increafe and wane of two moons fince the happy union of Tquaffouw and Knoninquaiha, when the Kraals were furprised with the appearance of a moft extraordinary perfonage, that came from the favage people who rose from the fea, and had lately fixed themselves on the borders of Caffraria. His body was enwrapped with ftrange coverings, which concealed every part from fight, except his face and hands. Upon his fkin the fun darted his fcorching rays in vain, and the colour of it was pale and wan as the watery beams of the moon. His hair, which he could put on and take off at pleasure, was white as the bloffoms of the almond tree, and bushy as the fleece of the ram. His lips and cheeks refembled the red oker, and his nose was sharpened like the beak of an eagle. His language, which was rough and inarticulate, was as the language of beafts; nor could Tquaffouw difcover his meaning, till an Hottentot (who at the first coming of thefe people had been taken prisoner, and had afterwards made his efcape) interpreted between them. This interpreter informed the prince, that the stranger was fent from

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his fellow-countrymen to treat about the enlargement of their territories, and that he was called, among them, MYNHEER VAN SNICKERSNEE.

Tquaffouw, who was remarkable for his humanity, treated the favage with extraordinary benevolence. He fpread a mantle of sheep-fkins, anointed with fat, for his bed; and for his food he boiled in their own blood the tripes of the fatteft herds that grazed in the rich paftures of the Heykoms. The tranger in return inftructed the prince in the manners of the favages, and often amufed him with fending fire from an hollow engine, which rent the air with thunder. Nor was he lefs ftudious to pleafe the gentle Knonmquaiha. He bound bracelets of polifhed metal about her arms, and encircled her neck with beads of glafs: be filled the cocoa-fhell with a delicious liquor, and gave it her to drink, which exhilarated her heart, and made her eyes fparkle with joys he alfo taught her to kindle fire through a tube of clay with the dried leaves of Dacha, and to fend forth rolls of odorous fmoke from her mouth. After having fojourned in the Kraals for the fpace of half a moon, the ftranger was difmiffed with magnificent prefents of the teeth of elephants; and a grant was made to his countrymen of the fertile meadows of Kochequa, and the forefts of Stink wood bounded by the Palamite river.

Tquaffouw and Knoninquaiha continued to live together in the most cordial affection; and the Surris every night invoked the great Gounja Ticquoa, who illuminates the moon, that he would give an heir to the race of N'oh and Hingn'oh. The princefs at length manifelted the happy tokens of pregnancy: while her waift encreafed daily in circumference, and fwelled like the gourd. When the time of her delivery approached, fhe was committed to the care of the Wife Women, who placed her on a couch of the reeking entrails of a cow newly flain, and to facilitate the birth, gave her a portion of the milk of wild affes, and fomented her loins with the warm dung of elephants. When the throes of child birth came on, a terrible hurricane howled along the coaft, the air bellowed with thunder, and the face of the moon was obfcuted as with a veil. The Kraal echoed with fhrieks and lamentations,

imentations, and the wife women cried, effectual on the ground. At length

out, that the princefs was delivered of a

MONSTER.

The offspring of her womb was WHITE. They took the child, and wafhed him with the juice of aloes: they expofed his limbs to the fun, anointed them with the fat, and rubbed then with the excrement of black bulls but his fkin ftill retained it's detefted hue, and the child was ftill WHITE. The venerable Surris were affembled to, deliberate on the cause of this prodigy; and they unanimously pronounced, that it was owing to the evil machinations of the dæmon Cham-ouna, who had practifed on the virtue of the princefs under the appearance of Mynheer Van Snick-, erfnee.

The incestuous parent and her unnatural offspring were judged unworthy to live. They bowed a branch of an, olive-tree in the foreft of Lions, on which the white monster was fufpended by the heels; and ravenous beafts feasted on the iffue of Knonmquaiha. The princefs, herfelf was fentenced to the fevere punifhment allotted to the heinous crime of adultery. The Kouquequas, who fearce twelve moons before had met to celebrate her nuptials, were now fum. moned to affift at her unhappy death. They were collected in a circle, each of them wielding an huge club of cripple wood. The beauteous criminal ftood weeping in the midst of them, prepared to receive the first blow from the hand of her injured husband. Tquaffouw in vain afflayed to perform the fad of fice: thrice he uplifted his ponderous mace of iron, and thrice dropped it in

from his reluctant arm defcended the fell ftroke, which lighted on that nofe, whofe flatnefs and expanfion had first captivated his heart. The Kouquequas then rushing in with their clubs, redou bled their blows on her body, till the pounded Knonmquaiha lay as an heap of mud, which the retiring flood leaves on the ftrand.

Her battered limbs, now without form and diftinction, were inclosed in the paunch of a rhinoceros, which was fattened to the point of a bearded arrow, and fhot into the ocean. Tquaflouw remained inconfolable for her lois; he frequently climbed the lofty cliffs of Chirigriqua, and caft his eyes, on the watery expanfe. One night, as he stood howling with the wolves to the moon, he defcried the paunch that contained the precious relics of Knonmquaiha, dancing on a wave, and floating towards him. Thrice he cried out with a lamentable voice, Bo, Bo, Bo' then fpringing from the cliff, he darted like the eagle foufing on his prey. The paunch burft afunder beneath his weight; the green wave was difcoloured with the gore; and Tquaffouw was enveloped in the mafs. He was heard of no more; and it was believed by the people, who remained ignorant of his catastrophe, that he was fnatched up into the moon.

The fate of this unhappy pair is recorded among the nations of the Hottentots to this day; and their marriagerites have ever fince concluded with a wifh, That the husband may be happier than Tquaffouw, and the wife more chafte than Knonmquaiha.' •

N° XXII. THURSDAY, JUNE 27, 1754.

W

SCILICET EXPECTES, UT TRADET MATER HONESTOS
ATQUE ALIOS MORES, QUAM QUOS HABET?

Juv.

1

THE SAME THEIR BREEDING, AND 30-LIKE EACH OTHER,
MISS IS THE VERY MODEL OF HER MOTHER.

TO MR. TOWN.

I Remember, in a match between two

perfons of different religions, it was ftipulated in the marriage articles, that the boys fhould be bred up in the •perfuafion of the father, and the girls in that of the mother. The confequence

of this was, that one part of the family was taught to look upon the other with a moft pious contempt, and in the end it produced a feparation. The fons followed the example of their father, and in order to avoid the leaft appearance of fuperftition and bigotry, turned out freethinkers. The lady of the house retired G

with her daughters to France, and to preferve them from a communication with heretics, confined them in a nunnery.

1

The like method feems to be observed in the general education of children; who, as foon as they leave the nursery, are refigned over to the care and direction of their respective parents, according to their fex: whence it often happens, that families are as much diftinguished by their peculiar manners, as by a certain caft of features or com plexion. My young squire is put upon a little horte before he can well walk, and becomes (as his father was before him) the pupil and companion of the groom and the game-keeper; and if mif's mamma fhould chance to be the daughters of a poor man of quality, though the wife of a fubftantial tradefman, the little lady is early instructed to value herfelf on her blood, and to defpife her father's dirty connections with bufinefs.

+ To this method of education it is owing, that the fame vices and follies are delivered down from one generation to another. The modifh exceffes of thefe times are in their nature the fame with those which were formerly in vogue, though they differ fomewhat in their fhape and appearance. The prefent race of Bucks, Bloods, and Freethinkers, are but the fpawn of the Mohocks and the Hell-Fire Club: and if our modern fine ladies have had their Mafquerades, their Vauxhalls, their Sunday Tea-drinking at Ranelagh, and their Morning Chocolate in the Hay. Market, they have only improved upon the Ring, the Spring Gardens, the New Exchange affignations, and the Morning Puppetfhew, which employed the attention of their grandmothers. And as it is not apparent that our people of fafhion are more wicked, fo neither are they wifer than their predeceffors.

When I contemplate the manner in which the younger part of the polite world is brought up, I am apt to carry my reflections farther than what merely concerns their own perfons. Let our young men of fashion expofe their igorance abroad, rather than improve at our univerfities at home;-let them trifle away their time in infipid amufements, and run loofe about the town in one continued round of extravagance and debauchery;—let our young ladies be

taught nothing but gallantry and whift, and be feen only at routs and affenblies; if the confequence extend not beyond themfelves. But as thefe are to be the fathers and mothers, the guar dians and tutors, on whom the morals of our next race muft depend; it becomes a public concern, left the reign of vice and ignorance thould be fupported, as it were, by hereditary fucceffion, and propagated to diftant gene

rations.

The modern method of education is, indeed, fo little calculated to promote virtue and learning, that it is almoft impoffible that children fhould be wifer or better than their parents. The coun try fquire feldom fails of feeing his fon as dull and aukward a looby as himself; while the debauched or foppifh man of quality breeds up a rake or an empty Coxcomb, who brings new difeafes into the family, and frem mortgages on the eftate. If you would therefore favour us, Mr. Town, with a few remarks on this fubject, you would do fervice to pofterity: for the prefent, give me leave to illuftrate what I have faid, by the example of a very fashionable family.

Lady Belle Modely was one of the finest women in the last reign, as the colonel her husband was one of the fmarteft fellows. After they had aftonifhed the world fingly with the eclat of their actions, they came together; as her ladyfhip was proud of fixing a man, who was thought to have intrigued with half the women of fashion; while the colonel fell a facrifice to her beauty, only becaufe fhe was admired by every body elfe. They lived together for fome time in great fplendour: but as matrimony was a conftraint upon their freedom, they at length parted by a private agreement. Lady Belle keeps the beft company, is at the head of every party of pleasure, never miffes a masque rade, and has card-tables conftantly at her own houfe on Sundays. The colo nel is one of the oldeft members of the club at White's, runs horfes at Newmarket, bas an actress in keeping, and is protected from the impertinence of duns, by having purchased a seat in parliament at almott as great an expence as would have fatisfied the demands of his creditors.

They have two children: the one has been educated by the direction of his father, the other has been bred up under

the

the eye of her mamma. The boy was, indeed, put to a grammar-fchool for a while; but Latin and Greek, or indeed any language except French, are of no fervice to a gentleman: and as the lad had difcovered early marks of fpirit, (fuch as kicking down wheel-barrows, and fetting old women on their heads) the colonel fwore Jack thould be a foldier, and accordingly begged a pair of colours for him before he was fifteen. The colonel, who had ferved only in the peaceful campaigns of Covent Garden, took great pains to inftil into Jack all that prowess fo remarkable in the mo, dern heroes of the army. He enume, rated his victories over bullies, his en counters with fharpers, his midnight kirmishes with conftables, his torming of bagnios, his imprisonment in round houses, and his honourable wounds in the fervice of prostitutes. The captain could not fail of improving under fo excellent a tutor, and foon became as eminent as his father. He is a Blood of the first rate; Sherlock has inftructed him in the ufe of the broad fword, and Broughton has taught him to box. He is a fine gentleman at affemblies, a fharper at the gaming-table, and a bully at the bagnios. He has not yet killed his man in the honourable way, but he has gallantly crippled feveral watchmen, and molt courageoufly run a waiter through the body. His fcanty pay will not allow him to keep a mitrefs, but it is faid that he is privately married to a woman of the town.

Such is the confequence of the fon's education; and by this our people of diftinction may learn, how much better it is to let a lad fee the world, as the phrafe is, than to lafh him through a grammar fchool like a parish-boy, and confine him with dull pedants in a college cloifter. Lady Belle has not been lels careful of her daughter Mifs Hartiet. Those who undertake the bufinefs of educating polite females, have faid it down as a rule to confider women merely as Dolls, and therefore never attempt the cultivation of their principles, but employ their whole attention on adorning their perfons. The ro

mantic notions of honour and virtue are only fit for poor aukward creatures, who are to marry a fhopkeeper or a par fon; but they can be of no ufe to a fine girl, who is defigned to make a figure. Accordingly Mils Harriot was committed to the care of Madame Governante, who never fuffered her to speak a word of English; and a French dancing mafter, who taught her to held up her head, and come into the room like a little lady. As fhe grew up, her mamma inftructed her in the niceft points of ca. remony and good-breeding the exi plained to her the laws and regulations. of drefs, directed her in the choice of her brocades, told her what fashions beft became her, and what colours beft fuited her complexion. These excels lent rules were conftantly enforced by examples drawn from her ladyfhip's own practice: above all, the unravelled the various arts of gallantry and intrigue recounted the ftratagems the bad herself employed in gaining news conquefts, taught her when to advance and when to retreat, and how far the might ven. ture to indulge herself in certain free doms without endangering her reputas tion.

Mifs Harriot foon became the public admiration of all the pretty fellows, and was allowed to be a lady of the most elegant accomplishments. She was reckoned to play a better game at whift than Mrs, Sharply, and to bet with more fpirit at brag than the bold Lady Atall. She was carried about to Tunbridge, Bath, Cheltenham, and every other place of diverfion, by the mother; where the was expofed as at a public mart for beauty, and put up to the best bidders But as Mifs had fome fortune at her own difpofal, she had not the patience to wait the formal delavs of marriage articles, jointures, fettlements, and pin. money; and (just before the late act took place) eloped with a gentleman, who had long been very intimate with her mamma, and recommended himself to Mils Harriot by a stature of fix foot and à fhoul ler-knot.

I am, Sir, your humble....
fervant, &c.

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N° XXIII. THURSDAY, JULY 4, 1754.

QUI MODO SCURRA

AUT SI QUID HAC RE TRITIUS VIDEBATUR,
IDEM INFICETO EST INFICETIOR RURE.

CATULL.

THE FOOL OF PANTOMIME, WHO NE'ER SPAKE WORD,
OR WORSE THAN FOOL, THE SENATOR OR LORD,
IN THE DULL COUNTRY HIS DULL TRADE PURSUING,
THE BLOCKHEAD UNDERDOES HIS UNDERDOING.

HAVE lately received feveral letters

for fome time charmed us with con

I HAVE collint Village, concerning certos and fonatas on the Jew's-harp

the entertainments of the country. He tells me, that they have concerts every evening in that part of the month in which the almanack promifes it will be moon-light. In one little town in particular, all the polite company of the place affemble every Sunday evening (after church) at the Three Compaffes, which is kept by the clerk, to regale themselves with cakes and fine homebrewed in an arbour at the end of his cabbage-garden; to which they have given the genteel denomination of Little Ranelagh. I fhall this day prefent my reader with his laft letter; and only take notice of the grand difference between the fummer amusements in town and country. In London, while we are almost smothered in smoke and dust, gardens are opened every evening to refresh us with the pure air of the country; while thofe, who have the finest walks and most beautiful profpects eternally before them, thut themfelves up in theatres and ball-rooms, lock fair daylight out, and make themfelves an

artificial London.'

DEAR COUSIN,

WHEREVER the town goes, thofe who live by the town naturally follow. The facetious and entertaining gentry, who during the winter amufed the world within the bills of mortality, are now difperfed into different parts of the country. We have had moft of them here already. The Coloffus, the Dwarf, the Female Samfon, made fome ftay with us. We went for a week together to fee Mr. Powell eat red-hot tobacco-pipes, and fwallow fire and brimstone. The Hermaphrodite was obliged to leave the town on a fcandalous report, that a lady ufed frequently to visit him in private. Mr. Church

and at our last ball we footed it to our ufual melody of the tabor and pipe, ac companied with the cymbal and wooden fpoons.

I will not tire you with a particular detail of all our entertainments, but confine myself at prefent to thofe of the Stage. About the middle of last month' there came among us one of those gentlemen who are famous for the cure of every diftemper, and especially thofe pronounced incurable by the faculty. The vulgar call him a Mountebank; but when I confidered his impaffioned fpeeches, and the extempore ftage from which he uttered them, I was apt to com. pare him to Thefpis and his cart. Again, when I beheld the Doctor dealing out his drugs, and at the fame time faw his Merry Andrew play over his tricks, it put me in mind of a tragi-comedy; where the pathetic and the ludicrous are fo intimately connected, and the whole piece is fo merry and fo fad, that the audience is at a lofs whether they fhall laugh or cry.

After the Doctor had been here fome time, there came down two or three emiffaries from a ftrolling company, in order (according to the player's phrafe) to take the Town; but the Mayor being aftrict Prefbyterian, abfolutely refused to license their exhibitions, The players, you must know, finding this a good town, had taken a leafe iaft fummer of an old fynagogue deferted by the Jews; and were therefore much alarmed at this difappointment: but when they were in the utmoft defpair, the ladies of the place joined in a petition to Mrs. Mayorefs, who prevailed on her husband to wink at their performances. The company immediately opened their fynagogue-theatre with the Merchant of Venice: and finding the Doctor's Zany a droll fellow,

they

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