compared with the fewing of uniforms. Sir, I will venture to fay, that a literary campaign, capable of driving Directors and republics to the de-1, would not coft, in paper and print, a quarter fo much as the volunteer corps pay for staytape and buckram only, and, at the same time, advance us much nearer to the defired object.

This war, Sir, has been diftinguished by blunders -some few, I mean-but they have been fatal ones, and irretrievable. In truth, while we perfift in carrying on hoftilities with the fword, we shall find that the errors of the field are not to be remedied by an erratum; that the mistakes of rashness cannot be rectified by cancelling a fheet, and that the excefs of the enemy's forces over ours is not to be got rid of by a dele in the margin. All these difficulties would vanish were my plan adopted. Glorious would that campaign be, of which we could fay, that all the errors were typographical, and the most dreadful engines employed, merely printing-preffes.

But on this fubject I fhall infift no farther. I have discharged my duty in propofing it. I can only now lament the continuation of the ancient fyftem, contrary to the experience of fo many years, and which experience, as far as it goes, is decidedly in favour of my plan. I fhall still pray for its fuccefs, in despite of all difcouragements, and figh for that happy period when we shall beat our fwords into ploughshares, although I question whether we have land enough to employ a tenth part of them!

Sept. 9, 1799.

I am, Sir, yours,

A SCHEMER.

MODERN

MODERN PHILOSOPHY.

[From the Sun.]

[The following ftanzas were, we are told, the firft poetical effufion of a celebrated modern Philofopher, infcribed to a lady, whom he afterwards married; they will, no doubt, be favourably received by the admirers of that writer, as they appear to contain the cream of his doctrines. Thofe to whom the lines may appear fomewhat obfcure, will find that obfcurity vanifh, if they take the trouble to perufe the Strictures upon Marriage, Gratitude, and Human Perfectibility, in a work publifhed under the title of Political Juftice, together with an Eulogy on Avarice, a Differtation on the Condition of Servants, &c. contained in a late publication called the Inquirer.]

N fpite of Philofophy's aid,

IN

I feel the foft paflion of love;
The doctrines my pages convey'd,
In practice I'm forc'd to difprove;
For oft haft thou heard me maintain,

That the mind, for eternity born,
Should the fetters of Hymen difdain, a
And treat Love's delufions with fcorn.
I have held it to manhood a stain,
To figh at the feet of the fair,
In accents defponding complain,
Aud prattle of love and defpair;
For reason with abfolute sway

My turbulent paffions reprefs'd;-
Ah! when shall its wandering ray
Revifit this love-stricken breast ?
The motives (alas! 't is too plain)
Which me to MARIA would draw,
Are ftronger than those which reftrain ;-
I submit to Neceffity's law;

And GN, the champion renown'd
Of freedom, but not of free-will,
Though conquer'd by love, will be found
The firft of philofophers ftill.

Then

Then turn, my fair pupil, a while,
To your tutor, your lover, and friend,
On your WILLIAM Complacently fmile,
And while he inftructs you, attend.
Do not grieve if hereafter I flee

Your careffes, nor deem me capricious:
I fain would be grateful to thee;
But, alas! to be grateful, is vicious.
And fhould I appear in your eyes
To be what the world calls a mifer,
Though others my conduct defpife,
Yet you, dear MARIA, are wifer:
For you know in my late publication,
I've prov'd that 't is bafe beyond measure,
To give money a free circulation;

But 't is noble to hoard up one's treasure.
And mark me, I ne'er will confent

A fervant or flave to maintain; For with these ev'ry moment is fpent In mental repining and pain:

For envy and malice combine

The mind of the servant to stain;

Restricted, alas! to port wine,

While his master is quaffing champaigne.

As for me, I will never confine

Your beauties alone to thefe arms,

Nor yet will you hear me repine,

Though multitudes tafte of your charms :

You will vow at the altar, indeed,
To your husband alone to adhere,
But you 're from that prejudice freed,
Which would make you perform what
Though falfehood I greatly deteft,
And hypocrify never could bear,-
What must not be plainly exprefs'd,
A man may moft virtuously fwear.
Obferve the diftinction I draw,

you

(wear.

Since clearly are oaths fuperftitious:

Pure truth I confider with awe,
But cannot deem perjury vicious.

Inconftant

Inconftant perhaps, not unkind,

'T will be ever my study to please;
I'll teach thee, by ftrength'ning thy mind,
To vanquish old age and disease:
For thinking can furely restore

Your teeth and your eyes when they fail,
Give the vigour of youth to fourfcore,
Make "mind over matter prevail.'

ON A LATE ADDRESS OF THE FRENCH
DIRECTORY.

[From the Morning Herald ]

Extract from the Prefident of the Directory's Letter to Massaredo, the Spanish Admiral.

"From a small corner of the earth, which the fun seems to light with regret, England pretends exclufively to the fovereignty of the feas."

VA

AUNTING barbarians!-Though our little ifle
May not with glow of funs perennial smile;
Though, on the earth's great feale, a trifling spot,
Yet of Heav'n's bounteous gifts the choiceft lot;
Though with no vintages abounds the foil,
Wine from the grape, and from the olive oil,
(For wine and oil of fcriptural praise can boast,)
Yet proud of grateful juices in our coaft.

When Sirius reigns, Pomona fhows her powers,
Ceres her amber tints when winter lowers;

Our theme-clad hills to numerous flocks give birth,
To clothe the natives of remotest earth;
Rich clover'd meads the fatt'ning ox delight,
To ancient Gauls a fafcinating fight;
To moderns-when invafion they defign-
Parole, Roaft Beef-Strong Beer the counterfign.
Your freedom's falfe-its type a wither'd tree;
Obedience to the laws and God, our liberty.

SIEYES, avaunt!-nor tantalize thy fight
With this fmall fpot "the fun regrets to light;"

But

>

But know, vain man! it e'er hath check'd the blow
Of polish'd foes, who fought its overthrow.
Strive then no more to make our heroes slaves,

Whilft BRUNSWICK reigns, and Britain rules the waves. AN AMATEUR.

WHIG CLUB; OR CHARLEY AND TOMMY. A TENDER CROWN AND ANCHOR IDYLLIUM: WITH ILLUSTRATIVE NOTES.

[From the True Briton.]

The Idyllium commences after the customary libation to the Health of Mr. Fox.

ERE the dufky PATRIOT rofe,

HE

Strok'd his beard, fo black, crinofe→→

Thrice he figh'd, and iron tears

Spoke his feelings-fpoke his fears.

CHARLEY,

"How I love thee, CLUB DIVINE!
My last refuge, Freedom's fhrine!
Guardian of the facred flame!

Britain's glory! Britain's fhame!
Confervatory of our rights!

*

Hot houfe warm 'gainft Slav'ry's blights!
Yet" (and here a hollow groan

Harmoniz'd with patriot moan,)

"Yet I doubt fair Freedom's flain,

Ne'er, ah! ne'er to rife again.

"Times there were-alas! no more

O the happy days of yore!

When each village had its Club,
Speaking, acting without fnub:
Coblers governments could fcan!

Paine could write the Rights of Man.

* "Confervatory of the principles of our ancestors." Vid. Speech apud Morning Chronicle, March 6. This was efteemed fo happy an expreffion, that Mr. Ee, with fymptoms of jealoufy, claimed it

as his.

All