The King-great man! fends all his out,
Not caring for a fingle clout;

But what's more happy still,
He's not oblig'd to count the rags,
Nor stuff them into canvas bags,
Oh no!-nor write the bill.

But, Lord have mercy on us all!
Whene'er we wafh, all hands muft fall
To fomething or another:

For Madamn fcolds, and flies about,
Now up, now down, now in, now out,
Dabbing through wet and smother.

This curfed time all comfort flies:
At fix fhe starts, "Come, Ned; come, rife,
And get the lines hung out."
"Yes, to be fure, my dear," I cry;
I dare as well be hang'd as lie,
For fear my dove should pout.

Breakfast is got, and whipp'd away,
Because the washers want their tea,
Before I half have done;

The doors all open-linen 's fpread-
The sky looks black-" Come hither, Ned,
Shall we have rain or fun ?"

"My dear, you need not be in pain, I think it does not look like rain :"

"Oh! then we 'll hang out more." When, lo! the words have hardly pat, But, puff-there comes a heavy blaft, And all must be rins'd o'er.

Then tenfold falls the peal on me ;
"You afs-to be ten years at fea,
See!-fee the linen!-do !"

I fneak away to have a fnile
Snug while I hear her all the while
Calling me black and blue.

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But

But what ftill troubles more my mind,
Amidst fuch plagues, at once to find
The washer, as fhe wrings,
Cracking fome jeft-then o'er the tub
Paufes a while-and every rub
With pleasure sweats and fings.

I hate, I must confess, all dirt,
And truly love a well-wash'd shirt ;
But once a month this reek

Is more than flesh and blood can bear;
And him I hate-oh! make his share
A washing every week!

HINTS ON SWEARING, AS A SOURCE OF

REVENUE, &c.

[From the Looker-on.]

"TO DOCTOR OLIVEBRANCH.

"DEAR PARSON,

"CURSE me, old boy, if I don't like your papers confoundedly, and think them almost as good a lounge as the Jockey-club, or the Carlton-house Magazine. As you pafs off for a devilish moral fellow, and all that, I wish you would give us a d-ned Spunky paper against the vulgar fons of who take upon them to use the oaths of us fellows of fashion. It is a curfed thing (now is it not?) that we can't keep a new execration among us for a week, before it gets into the d-ned throats of the canaille. Judge for yourself-I heard my hofier's fhop-boy utter a curfe yesterday, which coft me and my valet three days in compofing, and which was as good as new, I never having sported it above fix times, and that only in the very best and most select company. Do, dear Doctor, tell thefe- how d-ned immoral this is. Think

of fome method to prevent it, and you'll oblige the whole world of fashion, amongst whom is,

"Yours infernally,

"CROSS CURRICLE.

"P. S. Excufe errors.-D-mme me if I have written fo much at one fitting fince I left Eton."

To fave the reader the trouble of deciphering, I have in many places corrected for him the orthography of the following epistle.

"TO THE REV. DR. SIMON OLIVE BRANCH.

HONERED DOCTOR,

"I lives as coachman at Squire Wealthy's in Yorkfhire. Mafter takes in your papers, but we always has 'um firft in the farvants hall. As I reads to the reft, they all defires me to fend their complaints to you in the lump, hoping as you will try your hand at the curing an 'um. Last week, a nephew of master's, one of your fine men of London, comed here vifiting. To be fure he drove into the court-yard, four in hand, quite natural, and as if he had been a coachman born; but when he got out of his pheaton, I could not for the life an me help laughing at im: his hair was cropt like little John's the poftillion; he had on a little cote, that reached but half way down his thighs, made as broad behind as old Mofes Modus's, the parish schoolmaster, and the cape dangling down his back, as if he had been half afleep when he was dreffing.-Since he came here, he has put the whole houfe into a stagnation. Nan was in a fine quandary about the pudden thing as 'um wears to pin their caps to: at last 't was found in one of the young gemman's farvanis neckloths; and he himself, the other day, cut the curate's walking-cane into four pieces for his own ufe, and generally carries one an 'um about in his pocket: he takes great plesure in feting us farvants by the eers, and but yesterday he made two boys, helpers of mine, Jet-to,

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Jet-to, as he called it, till one was blinded, and the other loft three fore-teeth and a grinder. Bob the footman fays he herd im fay at table afterwards, that he never feed fellows make themfelves up better, that hadn't had no frence; that they ftood-to for a dozen rounds before ither would give in; and that they fought till little John got both his eyes closed.

Would you think it, Doctor, this gemman has corched all our oaths as well as our other fafhons. Till he comed amongst us, none of the family, except the men-farvants, ever fo much as thought of fwaring; but he has our damns and blasts as glib and as natural as us who knows no better-which I thinks is a burning fhame and I fancies to myself that my horses have grown rusty fince they have herd as other people can curfe them as well as Ben Crump. So pray, Doctor, tell us, has not freeborn Englishmen a right to their own oaths as well as to books of their own making? and does the law give a gemman any right to curfe and fware like a farvant?

"From yours, Rev. Doctor, to command, "BEN. CRUMP..

"P. S. The fcullion wants to know if he mayn't fware upon his honour, if the gemmen takes to b-fting of eyes?"

While thefe letters lay on my table, my friend the Projector happened to enter my apartment. I put them into his hands, in the hope that they might start fome ufeful fpeculation in his mind. No fooner had he caft his eye over them, than feizing his hat and cane, he haftened out, telling me, as he thut the door, that I fhould foon hear from him. Accordingly, the next morning, the following paper was brought to me.

"MY DEAR FRIEND,

“The casual visit which I paid you yefterday, has been the means of relieving me from much perplexity. For fome time paft, my thoughts have been much

employed

employed in search of an effectual method to fupply that deficiency which the public revenue must feel, whenever the propofed and much-wifhed-for abolition of lotteries fhall take place. I must own, however, that nothing feasible prefented itfelf, until the letters. of your eorrefpondents fuggested a plan, of which I haften to give you the outlines. Should it meet your approbation, and be favourably received by your readers, I fhall be encouraged to offer it, in a more fyftematic form, and on a larger fcale, to the confideration of the Minifter, previous to the opening of the budget in the next feflion of Parliament.

"In the first place, then, I would humbly recommend it to the Legislature, to make a public declaration That all oaths and curfes within these realms, are the property of the nation.' This being affented to, as it must be, it follows, that the nation, by its representatives, has a right to difpofe of them. I know that curfing and fwearing is already prohibited by law, and fines impofed on thofe who tranfgrefs; but, as fuch laws are much too illiberally conftructed for these polite and enlightened times, the fooner they are repealed the better, especially as they are very feldom enforced, and not even generally known.

"But where vices cannot be entirely restrained, a wife politician will endeavour to make them fubfervient to the public benefit. On this principle, I propole to admit every body to the free ufe of oaths, who will take out a licenfe for the purpofe; for which each shall pay in proportion to his fortune, profeffion, and education. To effectuate this, there fhall be a Board of Blafphemy established in the metropolis, with fubordinate comptrollers of curfing in every county and great town; and the celebrated declaration, nulli vendemus, nulli negabimus aut differemus, may be made the motto of this new establishment.

"Every person fhall be furnished, on taking out

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his