what world a great lady would think better than the prefent. Then, were we to be told of the day and hour when "an eminent female perfonage was to meet with a difhonour," how anxious fhould wè be to difcover beforehand the parties concerned! and this probably would be much eafter accomplished than in the former cafe, as there are many fagacious forefeers who can calculate the lofs of a reputation, yet who have feldom confidered the lofs of life. I am not, indeed, an advocate for the obfcurity in which thefe prophecies are wrapt. To say that one great lady in a twelvemonth inay go to a better world, and that only one female perfonage may meet with a difhonour, is a random way of prophefying, little better than conjecture. On the other hand it may be faid, that if our prophets proceed a little farther, and give us the name of the party, they have it in their power to render the prophecy rull and void. But I am not of this opinion, for I have obferved that we pay a great refpect to prophecy in every, cafe but where we are ourfelves concerned, and I know not any two things which the fashionable world are more convinced they can get the better of, than death and crim. con. nor any that comes upon them more speedily, in spite of all warnings, like a thief in the night."

But these more difmal matters ought not entirely to fill our calendars. I would propofe a total change in the prefent fet of red-letter days, and in their room to be inferted the weekly concerts, or card-parties

where all the world goes;" the commencement of the opera feason fhould likewife be as accurately put down, as the law terms now are; and the arrival of a new dancer, or a new fashion, fhould be calculated to a day. Nor would I omit even the performance of a new play. These might take place of the part now appropriated to eclipfes, things which, as merely pertaining to the fun and moon, are of no confequence to

perfons

perfons who pass their lives principally by candlelight. Thus our prophets ought to announce : "There will be five tragedies this year: Feb. 5. Of Drury Lane, merit visible half paft 8 evening. March 16. Of ditto, visible only one night, &c." and fo of the others. April 1. There will be a tranfit of comedy into pantomime, to begin at half paft fix in the evening, and end about twelve." Thus might be announced that happy conjunction of fenfe and nonfenfe, which forms the major part of our dramatic pieces.

One very defirable article of intelligence, when we had prophets whofe aim was to please the public taste, was ghofts, and barbarous and bloody murders. thefe, as the fame tafte has lately been revived in romances and plays, our conjurers might make a very happy felection in the gaming-houfes, and other reforts of mortal fame. Perhaps, indeed, in this as in other cafes, they would rather gratify the curiosity of the public, than adminifter admonition to the party; yet it is poffible, that if, instead of telling a young man when the fun entered Aries," they were to inform him that he who enters a gaming-houfe has already nearly decided his fate, it might be an useful caution; and the fame might follow, if, inftead of enabling him to know the hour of the fun rifing and fetting every day in the year, they were to fuggeft that the moment he becomes attached to the pleafures of the diffipated, the fun of his happiness is set for ever. The fame effects have followed the fame causes for so many years, that it would require a very small share of conjurership for every man to calculate his own fate, if he could be prevailed upon to bestow any confideration upon futurity. In the infancy of fociety, or when particular follies are first introduced into the world, fome who may in other matters lay claim to a considerable degree of wisdom, are liable to be deceived; but in our age, where the effects of certain follies may be calculated

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calculated with almost as much certainty as a question in arithmetic, and when the fame effects, and the fame caufes, follow in a round as regularly as the events of an almanack, thofe who efcape the imputation of bad hearts, muft not be affronted if in tender judgment we pronounce that they must have very weak heads, if they ruth unappalled into the gulf of mifery, and know not the features of deftruction when it ftares them in the face.

I

SIR,

HINTS FOR OLD BOYS.

[From the fame.]

TO THE EDITOR.

HAVE lately fomewhere feen it remarked that it is difficult to grow old; and, indeed, if we look around us, and behold the juvenile pranks of elderly perfons, we fhall at least be convinced that if it is not difficult to grow old, it is very painful to acknowledge it.

"To flourish in immortal youth," is a most pleafing fpeculation, and fuch an exiftence would by many be preferred to a Mahomet's paradife. Hence we fee fo many aping the tricks of young men, although oppofed by all the debilities of age; dancing, although they have fcarce breath fufficient to afcend a pair of stairs, and finging, although repeatedly interrupted by a cough.

But all this will not do.-A man may fwear off from the approach of old age, or he may blot out the register, in hopes to keep his acquaintances in the dark: yet all this availeth him not. Age has certain indelible marks which paint will but faintly cover, and want of ftrength is what a man may imitate much better than he can put on the vigour of a Hercules, or the agility of a Veftris. Still how difficult it is to allow all this! How

How fhameful to be obliged to confefs that the days of health and ftrength are paft, that he who, charmed by his motions, must now be content to fit ftill, and he who could with impunity exceed in the pleasures of the table, must be nourished by broths, and supported by medicine!

It has been faid that life is fweet. It would perhaps be more correct to say that youth is fweet; for when that period is paft, all wish to return to it. None have any pleasure in contemplating what is to come, and all recollections are painful except those of merriment, joviality, and gaiety. A retrofpect of the amusements of youth continues to please in fome degree in narration. The hare and the buck are again hunted down in a tedious story; the watchman's head and lantern are again broke in an angry tone; and feats of gallantry are again performed in imagination.

Yet ftill, all this is but imagination. We figh to think that such things have been and will no more be, that we can no longer lead in a midnight frolic, no longer ftorm a tavern, or spread dismay among the guardians of the night, no longer be the munificent patrons of waiters and poftboys, no longer be famed for being able to bear much wine, and be fatisfied with little fleep. All this is over; and our comforts centre in the arm-chair, the wrappings of flannel, and the blazing hearth. We hear the noise of joy and revelry without being able to partake of it; and when we do pluck up a little fpirit, and try to mimic the ftrength of former days, that one word, that little word old, damps all our merriment, and we fink with fhame upon our couch, as a confirmation that it has not been mifapplied in our cafe.

"When does a man grow old?" is a queftion which has been often agitated, but never determined. It cannot, indeed, be determined in a general way. It would then operate as a sentence upon all mankind equally.

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equally. The once beautiful, gay, and fathionable Flitilla ufed to declare that a woman was not fit to live after forty, and that if fhe was fo mean-fpirited as to furvive that age, the ought to be put out of her pain by others. Alas! Flirtilla paffed this age ten years ago, and ftill lives, to exhibit a fine piece of ruinsruins which we should prize if our tafte in gallantry and in architecture were the fame.

There are old young men, and there are young old men. Some at thirty are ancient in all their faculties, worn out with a variety of experiments to acquire a knowledge of the world, as it is called; trained up to be fine jolly fellows from their infancy; at fifteen are bucks of fpirit; at twenty can carry off their three bottles a man; but at thirty die in the feafoning! leaving their fathers hale and hearty, and able to provide themselves with other heirs.

Difficult to grow old!" faid a friend of mine the other day why, that might have been the cafe formerly, but now it is the cafieft thing in nature. Every boy and girl can grow old before one has time to learn that they are come into the world. All the difficulty is in getting them to confefs it, and endeavouring to grow young again."

There are ftill fome of the true old English breed left, who are called Old Boys, fellows who feem to defy the ravages of time, and find it amazingly difficult to grow old. The monkies are faid to imitate all the actions of a man except fpeech. The old boy imitates no action unlefs in fpeech. If you believe him, he is the youngest, ftrongest, moft clever and active fellow in the world. What is it he cannot do, or boast of doing? Yet all this had best believe at once, for if you put you him to the proof, it is odds but you will find he has been fighting his old battles over again, and that he is not the man he was forty fummers ago.

It is very painful for an old boy to decay, and he