Page images
PDF
EPUB

you can fire."

rain.' They smiled contemptuously on objections, if they had any, against going him, and passed on.

into the service. Accordingly, one of them, “ Before they had gone many miles, how- who had an impediment in his speech, came cver, they had reason to regret not having forward, and made his bow. taken the countryman's advice, as a heavy “What is your objection ?" said the capshower came up, and they were drenched tain. to the skin.

“I ca-can't go," answered the man," be“When they had returned to the palace, cause I st-st-st-stutter." the king reprimanded the philosopher “Stutter!" said the captain, “ you don't severely, for telling him that it would be go there to talk, but to fight.”! clear when it was not.

Ay, but they'll p-p-put me on 8-8-8"I met a countryman,' said he, "and guard, and a man may go ha-ha-half a mile he knows a great deal more than you, for before I can say, "Wh-wh-wb-who goes he told me it would rain, whereas you there!" told me it would not.'

“0, that is no objection,” replied the "The king then gave the philosopher his captain, “ for they will place some other walking paper, and sent for the country sentry with you; he can challenge, and man, who made his appearance.

66 . Tell me,' said the king, how you “Well, b-b-but I may be ta-ta-taken and knew it would rain.'

run through the b-b-b-body, before I can 66"I didn't know,' said the rastic, 'my cry qu-qu-qu-quarter!” jackass told me.'

This last plea prevailed; and the cap". And how, pray, did he tell you ? the tain, laughing heartily, dismissed him. king asked in astonishment.

“. By pricking up his ears, your ma- Sheridan used to pretend that he put jesty.'

Law down effectually. “ When Law said, “The king now sent the countryman “Pray, Mr. Sheridan, do answer my quesaway, and, procuring the jackass, he tion without point or epigram,' I retorted, placed him in the office the philosopher'You say true, Mr. Law; your questions had filled. And here,”! observed D-, are without point or epigram.'" looking very wise, “ here is where the king made a great mistake.”

A young wight, who, being wed, “ How so?'' asked his auditors.

Was always reading in his bed,

His wife addressed, with gentle look, “Why, ever since that time,'' said

And said, “I wish I were a book !" D-, with a sweet smile, “every jackass “Why so, good wife?" the wag replied. wants an office."

“Because you'd love me then," she cried.
“Why, thu might be,” he straight rejoined,

“But’twould depend upon the kind; The following is a literal copy of the card

An Almanac, for instance, dear,

To have a new one every year.” which was invariably transcribed for Madame Catalani, whenever she was called

When a Mr. Winter was announced, & on to sing in “God save the King."

well-known inspector of taxes, Hook im-
“Oh Lord ayar God

mediately roared out-
Arais schaeter
Is enemis and

“ Here comes Mr. Winter, inspector of taxes,
Mece them fol

I'd advise ye to give him whatever he axes,
Confond tear

I'd advise ye to give him, without any flum.
Politekse frosstre

mery,
Their nevise trix

For though his name's Winter, his actions
On George avar hopes

are summary.
We fix God save the
Kin."

Punch says : “ With what wonderful ac

curacy does Young Norval in the Scotch During the Revolutionary war, when tragedy, in the account which he gives of drafts were made from the militia to re- his supposed parentage, indicate the charcruit the continental army, a certain cap- acter of a Yankee dealer! He describes tain gave liberty to the men who were his father as an individual whose constant drafted from his company, to make their care was to increase his store.'»

[ocr errors]
[ocr errors]
« ՆախորդըՇարունակել »