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WRITTEN BY M. GARRICK.
A School for Scandal! tell me, I beseech you , Needs there a school this modish art lo teach you? - No need of lessons now, the knowing think ; We might as well be taught to eat and drink. Caused by a dearth of scandal , should the vapours Distress our fair ones-let them read the papers ; Their powerful mixtures such disorders hit; Crave what you will—there's quantum sufficit. « Lord ! » cries my Lady Wormwood (who loves tattle, And puts much salt and pepper in her prattle), Just ris’n at noon, all night at cards when threshing Strong tea and scaudal —« Bless me, how refreshing ? « Give me the papers. Lisp—how bold and free! (sips) « Last night Lord L. (sips) was caught with Lady: D. « For aching heads what charıning sol volatile! (sips) « If Mrs. B. will still continue flirting , « We hope she'll Draw, or we'll undraw the curtain. « Fine satire, poz~in public all abuse it,
But, by ourselves; (sips) our praise we can't refuse it. « Now; Lisp, read you—there, at that dash and star : »
« Yes, ma'am- A certain lord had best besvare, « Who lives not tiventy miles from Grosvenor Square; * For should he Lady W. find willing, « Wormwood is bitter »-« Oh! thai's me , the villain ! « Throw it behind the fire, and never more
« Let that vile paper come within my door. »
EXITS and ENTRANCES.
R. means Right; L. Left; D. F. Door in Flat; R. D. Right Door; L. D. Lefi Door; S. E. Second Entrance; U. E. Upper Entrance ; M. D. Middle Door.
R. ineans Righı; L. Lesi; C. Centre; R. C. Right of Centre ;
be on the Stage, facing the
SCHOOL FOR SCANDAL.
Sir Harry Bumper.
ACT I. SCENE I. - Lady Sneerwell's House. Discovered LADY Sneerwell, R. at the dressing-table.
Snake drinking chocolate, L. Lady S. The paragraphs, you say, Mr. Snake', were all inserted ?
SNAKE. They were , madam ; and as I copied them myself in a feigned land , there can be no suspicion whence they came.
LADY S. (R.) Did you circulate the report of Lady Brittie's intrigue with Captain Boastall?
SNAKE. (L.) That's in as fine a train as your ladyship could wish. In the common course of things, I think it must reach Mrs. Clackitt's ears within four and twenty hours; and then, you know, the business is as good as done.
LADY S. Why, truly, Mrs. Clackitt has a very pretty talent, and a great deal of industry.
Snake. True, madam , and has been tolerably successful in her day. To my knowledge she has been the cause of six matches being broken off, and three sons being disa inherited; of four forced elopements, as many close confinements; nine
separate maintenances, and two divorces. Nay, I have more than once traced her causing a tête-à-tête in the Town and Country Magazine, when the parties , perhaps, had never seen each other's face before in the course of their lives.