was I much re-composed when a troubled face confronted me in the shop, and a voice exclaimed: "Oh sir! I'm so glad you've come; such a dreadful accident." Evidently I was mistaken for the doctor, and I informed the woman that I was not a medical practitioner, but the enumerator, who had called for the census paper. "That's it, sir." "Yes, sir, that's it," observed a red-faced woman, bustling up, and joining in the conversation. "Poor dear, she aven't had a wink of sleep all night; and her blessed baby, too, only two months old; and he took the pledge three year ago, and never broke it afore." "That's true, Mrs. Johnson," cried the other; "and it all comes of them strikes." "Ah! it all do come of that, Mrs. Giles! Heavens knows the trouble I've had with my old man. What with beer, baccy, and such like, I have almost been wurretted out of my senses. Only let them give me the making of the law, and I would show them what for." As the latter part of this philippic was addressed to me as if I were connected with them, and as I was somewhat mystified as to a baby, two months old, having taken the pledge three years ago and broken it, and met with an accident in consequence, I again ventured to suggest that I had called for the census schedule, and had no sooner done so than the woman who had opened the door again began: "That's it, sir; and only to think that of all nights in the year, he should have done it when that were in the house-and what, sir, we're to do is more than I can say." "Ah! my dear, that's true enough! and if he was sent to prison it would only serve him right; for, as I read with my own eyes on this my own dokkymen, which, sir, it is properly wrote in, as my own daughter is a scholard, because I had little enough of that when I were young-and I am not ashamed to confess my age, which it is forty-nine last Michaelmas. It is five pounds, and what you air to do, Mrs. Giles, if he's taken, and the blessed infant only two months old, is more than I can tell." 'Really I cannot see what this has to do with me." "Of course, sir," continued the voluble Mrs. Johnson; "for a gent like you it is not to be supposed that you should, sir; but if so be it is a case for the police-courts, for her sake, sir, and not for hisn, I will not say but what I would speak to his worship as to karractur and without saying more than as a truth I have occupied this house ever since it were built, and paid my rent reglarly; for which there are in that old tea-pot my receipts." "I do not in the least doubt that; but I must really request you to hand me the schedules." Upon making this demand in rather a peremptory manner, something resembling a coherent explanation was obtained. From this I gathered that Mr. Giles, a mason, and so quiet a man that he had taken and kept the pledge for three years, had been so worked upon by some fierce advocates of the "strike" that he returned home the previous evening in a hopeless state of intoxication, and, much to his wife's horror, lighted his pipe with the schedule, at the same time exclaiming he was not a-going to be dictated to by any of them ere State secretaries, eating up the working man's money, and he should like to meet with anyone who would tell him he must do so, he would serve them the same way. Hence the wife's fear of fines, and the landlady's good-natured, but incomprehensible interference on her lodger's behalf. A fresh form and a few strokes of the pen soon put matters to rights, and elicited the remark from Mrs. Johnson, as I went up the steps, that I was 66 a very purlite Government-gentleman; and others, that ought to know better, might learn something from such like as him is.” The sound of my "official rap" was next heard in a mews; and, if I were disposed to make a bad pun, I might remark that if this particular mews was not poetic, it was at least prolific. I never met with a more densely packed population than was discovered in the flowerpot-silled windows of the rooms over the stables. Mothers and fathers, grandfathers and grandmothers, sons and sons-in-law, daughters and daughtersin-law, "boarders" and "visitors," nephews and nieces, aunts, uncles, and cousins were all so closely stowed away, that it gave birth to the belief that the horse's manger by day was the baby's crib by night. And of the corn-bin it might be said it was like the chest of drawers in "The Deserted Village:" "The chest contrived a double debt to pay a A bed by night, a chest of drawers by day." There, too, I had an opportunity of noting the spread of education amongst the lower orders. Every boy and girl under twelve was "scholard;" so a hope exists that some day a full-blown "scholard" must issue from the mews, to be crowned with bays. Neatness in these habitations of many people was the rule, and not the exception; and the neatest of all was the one in which. resided a buxom housewife, who told me that, during the last ten years, she had increased the population of the mews by nine; and that, when the previous census was taken, her family numbered four children: thus making a very pretty sum-total. As I left the mews, a cabman, leaning over the hatch-door, calmly smoking a long clay pipe, winked at me in the most knowing manner, and, indicating with his thumb a policeman who was standing at the corner, exclaimed— "I say, master, you'll get at 'em, between you, this time!" and then, with another wink, took a long draw at his pipe, looking very much as if he had hit the right nail on the head. I suppose he imagined I was obtaining a return of the thieves. Perhaps the policeman thought I was one myself, as he favoured me with a long, stare until I got close up to him; and then, apparently satisfied of my respectability, resumed his slow heavy walk down the street. Proceeding to an adjoining street, about which hung an air of struggling gentility, my "official rap" had only been repeated at the first house-not number one, as number one had yet to be built-often enough for me to receive a greater amount of blacklead from the knocker than was altogether agreeable, when a thin, middle-aged lady, dressed in rusty black silk, and her skirts guiltless of crinoline, opened the door, and invited me into the front parlour. "This way, if you please. This is my apart ment." She glanced round the "chair-lumbered closet just twelve feet by nine;" and I did likewise, but failed to discover anything remarkable in it. "I repeat, this is my apartment-at least for the_present-and here is my return. You will find everything properly filled up. My age I have stated to be above forty; and that I assure you is correct-I am above forty." I felt tempted to remark I didn't doubt the fact; but refrained, and simply said it was necessary to have more precise information. when I got occasional glimpses of the dirty little "I can't give it. I won't give it, neither for the Registrar-General nor for the HomeSecretary. I can make that answer or none at all. I have also filled-in my occupation as 'Claimant of property.' That is my occupation, and has been my sole one for the last ten years; and will continue to be until I die or gain my rights. I have been wrongfully defrauded, by the machinations of wicked persons, of my just and lawful rights; therefore, I maintain I can only describe my occupation as that appertaining "Will you take a seat?" she asked, in as soto a claimant of property. And I have only to lemn a voice as if she was pressing me to parremark that I have made this explanation to take of a poisoned cup; and seeing that all the you away from the people of this—this place-chairs were occupied, she glided across the where, for the present, I am compelled to reside. I have nothing further to add. Should you desire to know more, I can refer you to gentlemen of position who are perfectly acquainted with the circumstances of my case, and can vouch for my respectability." I assured this gentlewoman that I never for a moment doubted her respectability, but that I should have wished for rather more precise information as to age and occupation; but finding that my request only produced a reiteration of the statement touching her property and "the machinations of wicked persons," I left her to resume her wearying employment as claimant of property. Another turn brought me into a street of third-rate lodging-houses, packed full of families, the heads of whom followed all kinds of precarious callings. Every front door was fitted with a latch-lock, and round most of the keyholes the paint was worn completely off, the walls of the passages were dirty, and every vestige of pattern had been trodden out and shuffled off the oilcloth. There was a perpetual bustle of persons up and down the stairs, and room, swept the books from the seat they covered, and motioned me to the table, which was partially covered with the fragmentary remains of a banquet. I sat down, and was then asked "if I would be so obliging as to fill up the form"? I signified my willingness to comply ink were necessary. Unfortunately I had asked with the request, and suggested that pen and for articles most difficult to find, and a search for which entailed a complete rummage of the room, resulting in the required implements being at length dragged from a cupboard, where they were keeping company with the remains of "half a hundred" of coals, and a gridiron ! How many knibs that pen had, or of what peculiar pasty composition that ink was made, I'do not pretend to say. A little humouring of the former, and a judicious admixture of cold tea to the latter, enabled me to perform my task. With a slow enunciation, and with the black eyes rolling and flashing, the heroine in the morning wrapper gave me her own, her husband's, and baby's names, their respective ages, conditions, and sexes, and where they were born; but when I asked the rank, profession or occupation of the "head of family," the absolutely blazed, and their owner exclaimed"That, sir, I decline to state." "But really I must-" "I cannot inform you." "Is he in trade?" "Again I say I decline to give any information in the matter." "Are you aware that your husband is liable to a penalty?" "We must take the consequences," was the reply, with an awful flash of the eyes. I was fairly nonplussed; but, thinking she might be less reticent in regard to herself, I inquired if she followed any occupation? "I cannot reply to that question," was the only answer elicited! and although I tried my hardest, my only reward was an obstinate persistence in the Non mi recordo style of giving evidence, and increased rolling of eyes. Finding all my efforts fruitless, I left this heroine, and on gaining the street-door was accosted by the landlady, who, touching me on the arm, asked me in a low tone of voice, "Can you tell me, sir, what he is ?" A jerk of the hand indicated the direction of the second floor. "If I did know I certainly should not tell you; but I don't." poor dear papa used to say he couldn't think what I should do without him." I bowed, and wondered what the poor dear papa of that ample form was like when alive! “I am sure, then, you won't mind filling up that dreadful paper you left here the other day! I am almost ashamed to ask you: I am sure, when I saw you delivering them on Wednesday, I quite pitied you for all the annoyance you would have to undergo." She had seen me, then! Which was it-my whiskers, or my general military bearing? "I wonder where I put that paper!" "It is of no consequence," I said; "I have plenty more." “How very kind! I'm sure we all ought to be so much obliged to you! Oh, the ink: pray don't move-my stupid head! I think you will find everything there," she added, putting a handsome silver inkstand on the table, and seating herself opposite to me. I could not help feeling something like a photographer, or perhaps a clerk in a foreign consul's office, about to sketch a pen-and-ink portrait for a passport. The name was given correctly, but the relation to head of family elicited the remark-"Dear me, I suppose as the house is mine I am head of family." "Well, surely, I thought I should find it out now," sighed the landlady, as she closed the door after me; and I descended the step, think- is ing that perhaps, under the circumstances, her curiosity was a little excusable. As it was now growing dusk, 1 hastened to finish my rounds, and my "official raps" succeeded each other with considerable rapidity, and at length I came to the last street, formed of two lines of semi-detached houses arranged in pairs, and all so alike, that it is to be hoped none of the "heads of family" are given to dining out, as a slight difficulty might be experienced in finding their respective homes. At the last house but three, in this most neat and unexceptionable street, I was received by a boy in buttons, who conducted me to the dining-room. It was cozily furnished, but bore unmistakable traces of the hand of the upholsterer, who had evidently been called in and requested to furnish the house. I had scarcely surveyed the contents of the room when the page requested me to "walk into the drawing-room;" when I was shown into an apartment lighter and brighter than the other. Standing by the fire was a stately lady, who claimed to be the "head of family," although, from the simple fact of her "condition" being "6 unmarried," "there was no "family" to be "head of." I am not vain, but I do attribute the sweetness of the smile which greeted me to the fact that I am not altogether bad-looking, and not to my official capacity of the enumerator. "Pray be seated, and do let me ring for some wine," was the greeting I received; and I complied with the former but declined the latter request. "I am so sorry to trouble you, but I am so dreadfully stupid in all business matters "And your condition, may I ask?” Really, you men are shameful creatures; it quite like the thing they used to have in black-the-really I'm not fit for anything, my Spain-you know-dear me-the people in memory is so bad I mean the Inquisition. Oh dear me! I had almost forgotten your question. I am unmarried. I suppose I ought to call myself a spinster, but that is such a dreadfully ugly name. I don't think I felt quite comfortable, when I looked at that stout female nodding and smiling at me from the other side of the fire-place, and I began to wish that somebody else were in the room. However, the only thing to be done was to get on with the work, and, in as dry official a tone as I could assume, I asked her age last birth-day. What was my embarrassment when, instead of directly replying, she drew her chair round full face to me, and exclaimed, "How old should you take me to be?" "Well, really," I stammered, horrified with the inquiry, "I do not think I could possibly guess. "Then try." I looked at the red face and the voluminous form, and mildly ejaculated, "Not more than five-and-thirty." "That is extraordinary," she exclaimed, in a delighted tone; "that is exactly what all my friends tell me; but I am older than that. I can't tell you though: no; really I cant : I must write it down." I handed her the schedule, in which she inserted the information, and returned it to me, saying, "Of course, I know you will read it; you men are such quizzes. Oh! now don't pretend you won't. read it now!" There! I déclare, if you have not at number advantage." "You may rely upon my "I don't suppose that you are any better than the rest of your sex." I almost trembled as I gazed on my companion, smiling and nodding to a greater degree than ever. I endeavoured to recollect the precise place I had put my hat, while I bluntly asked her rank, profession, or occupation?" "There now, I knew how I should be puzzled; poor, dear papa was quite right; I am sure I don't know what I am; I have some houses you know, and some funds in the Bank; and then you know there is some money my lawyers lent to somebody; and that's all. Oh! no-then I have some railway shares.” "A fundholder and proprietor of houses," I remarked, writing it in rapidly. "There! now you see how clever men are! You did that in a quarter of the time I took to tell you about it. How I only wish——” As I really was getting alarmed for my own safety, I hastily interrupted her with a request for information about the servants. "There, again! you see," she rejoined, looking at me with decided admiration, you are so prompt and quick, I should never have thought of them; but you are so business-like, and do just what I should never do myself. Will you ring that bell please?" I complied with the request, and almost expected she would compliment me on my powers as a bell-ringer. "You must be so tired," she said, as I resumed my seat: “pray do let me offer you some wine." Fortunately, I had only time to refuse when Buttons appeared with the missing schedule, which that intelligent young gentleman had taken upon himself to fill up as far as regarded the servants. Hastily glancing through it, I was about bowing myself from the room, when the lady rose, and, advancing to me, said, 'Excuse me, but I am so lonely here that I should feel obliged, if you should hear of any one wishing to board, if you would only think of me." I started; I even think I blushed. I know I stammered out something. I am certain that I snatched up my hat eagerly. I am perfectly aware that I rushed down the steps into the street. I am convinced that I walked rapidly to the nearest cab-stand, and I am sure that I did not feel quite comfortable until I was sitting before my own fire in my own chamber, situate three good miles from that street. I assuredly did get the three remaining schedules the next day, but I took good care not to be seen by the "head of family" in that house. I solemnly aver that I neither left there my papers, my umbrella, nor my gloves, for the purpose of giving me opportunity of calling again; and, I equally, solemnly avow that I daily look with dread at the second column of the Times, lest it should contain a notice that "If the enumerator who called at the houses in street will call he will hear of something to his Such were some of my experiences as the Enumerator. I might, in addition, disclose many curious particulars concerning the orthography to be found in some of the schedules. I might give some strange examples of the modes of filling-up the returns. I might show how British humour ran riot in a number of the documents; but I have no wish that John Bull should lose faith in his enumerator; I have therefore, written the history of my OFFICIAL RAP so as not to belie the promise of the Registrar General, when he declares "Care will be taken that the returns are not used for the gratification of curiosity." HUSBANDS How often is it said, in the present day, that men and women are falsely placed with regard to each other! According to one party, men are too strong and women too weak, and they demand that women's prerogative be forthwith greatly increased-they would make men of them at once. Others consider that by a different course of education, which should direct their minds to great objects, women would quietly assume a position equal to that of men, without any more active interference. A third and large party assert that, so far from men being the stronger, they have always been the victims of the other sex. There is perhaps some truth in each of these propositions; but when we consider that men have always been the law-makers, there may be a suspicion of their having secured to themselves an undue portion of the powers and privileges of social life. It is so easy to make a law in favour of oneself, that we think there is a chance of the suspicion being well-founded. On the other hand, the small amount of truth which we have supposed to exist in the propositions above stated is completely swamped by the presence of a load of injustice. The destiny of man and woman, husband and wife, is the same: each has certain duties to perform, which of themselves combine for the mutual advantage. If men and women, when brought together by marriage, and who have to live together for the whole of their lives, would make up their minds to be as charitable to each other's failings, as much disposed to mutual forbearance and considerateness towards each other's feelings in private, as they appear to be when in the presence of their friends, we should hear much less about injustice and false position. To use a common expression, what is fair for one is fair for the other: in the married state there should be the strictest equality. The husband must come down from the position of master, not that his place may be taken by the woman, but that she may be the sharer of his pleasures, hopes, and joys, as she has ever been the partaker of his pains, fears, and sorrows. There is nothing more beautiful than friendship; and the friendship of husband and wife ensures the highest earthly happiness. Many married men consider themselves fully justified in passing most of their evenings away from home, among their companions. If this be fair for the man, it is equally fair for the woman to go out and visit her friends also. If it be essential that the woman have always a smile ready to greet her husband when he enters, it is equally essential that he should bring good-humour and a pleasant countenance with him. True, he may be troubled and annoyed with business cares; but is she not troubled and annoyed, often to a greater degree, with family and household cares? with the difference that, whilst she is always amongst hers, the man by his more active out-door life does in some measure modify his. If it be fair for the husband to keep the purse, it is fair that the wife should know how much or how little there may be in it. There must be no secrets on either side; what the man knows the woman ought to know. In cases of difficulty woman's feelings will often suggest a better remedy than man's reason. The case might be met by the mutual recognition of one common purpose and object, combined with respect for differing views regarding its attainment. Generally speaking, it may be said that there wants for man more of sympathy, for woman more of discretion: "The kindest and the happiest pair |