Page images
PDF
EPUB

there had not been a secret, and perhaps offensive, meaning in something casually said to him. In this case, I also judged it best to let his mind, like a troubled spring, work itself clear, which it did in a minute or two. I was considerably older, you will recollect, than my noble friend, and had no reason to fear his misconstruing my sentiments towards him; nor had I ever the slightest reason to doubt that they were kindly returned on his part. If I had occasion to be mortified by the display of genius, which threw into shade such pretensions as I was then supposed to possess, I might console myself that, in my own case, the materials of mental happiness had been mingled in a greater proportion.

"I rummage my brains in vain for what often rushes into my head unbidden,-little traits and sayings which recall his looks, manner, tone, and gestures; and I have always continued to think that a crisis of life was arrived, in which a new career of fame was opened to him, and that, had he been permitted to start upon it, he would have obliterated the memory of such parts of his life as friends would wish to forget."-P. 615-19.

To these extracts we shall now add a considerable number of Miscellaneous Anecdotes, scattered all over the book, which we have strung together; and each of which contains, we think, something of no common interest:

MISCELLANEOUS ANECDOTES AND SAYINGS of Lord Byron.

"Among many instances of his quickness and energy at this age, his nurse mentioned a little incident that one night occurred, on her taking him to the theatre, to see the Taming of the Shrew.' He had attended to the performance for some time with silent interest; but, in the scene between Catherine and Petruchio, where the following dialogue takes place,

Cath. I know it is the moon.

[ocr errors]

Pet. Nay, then, you lie,-it is the blessed sun,'Little Geordie, (as they called the child), starting from his seat, cried out boldly, But I say it is the moon, sir.'” "It is said, that the day after little Byron's accession to the title, he ran up to his mother, and asked her⚫ Whether she perceived any difference in him since he had been made a lord, as he perceived none himself?' a quick and natural thought; but the child little knew what a total and talismanic change had been wrought in all his future relations with society, by the simple addition of that word before his name. That the event, as a crisis in his life, affected him, even at that time, may be collected from the agitation which he is said to have manifested on the important morning, when his name was first called out in school with the title of Dominus' prefixed to it. Unable to give utterance to the usual answer, Adsum,' he stood silent amid the general stare of his school-fellows, and at last burst into tears. "A friend of his once described to me the half-playful rage into which she saw him thrown, one day, by a heedless girl, who remarked that she thought he had a little of the Scotch accent, Good God, I hope not!' he exclaimed,

[ocr errors]
[ocr errors]

school-Calvert, monitor; Tom Wildman on my left hand,
and Long on my right. Harrow on the Hill.' On the same
leaf, written five years after, appears this comment:
Eheu fugaces, Posthume! Posthume!
Labuntur anni.

B. January 9th, 1809. Of the four persons whose names are here mentioned, one is dead, another in a distant land, all separated, and not five years have elapsed since they sat together in school, and none are yet twenty-one years of age.'"

"But the embittering circumstance of his life,—that which haunted him like a curse amidst the buoyancy of youth, and the anticipations of fame and pleasure, was, strange to say, the trifling deformity of his foot. By that one slight blemish, (as in his moments of melancholy he persuaded himself,) all the blessings that nature had showered upon him were counterbalanced. His reverend friend, Mr Becher, finding him one day unusually dejected, endeavoured to cheer and rouse him, by representing, in their brightest colours, all the various advantages with which Providence had endowed him,-and among the greatest, that of a mind which placed him above the rest of mankind. Ah, my dear friend,' said Byron mournfully, if this' (laying his hand on his forehead) places me above the rest of mankind, that' (pointing to his foot) ' places me far, far below them.''

[blocks in formation]

"Lord Byron used sometimes to mention a strange story, which the commander of the packet, Captain Kidd, related to him on the passage.-This officer stated, that being asleep one night, in his birth, he was awakened by the pres faint light in the room, could see, as he thought, distinctly, sure of something heavy on his limbs; and there being a the figure of his brother, who was at that time in the naval service in the East Indies, dressed in his uniform, and stretched across the bed. Concluding it to be an illusion of the senses, he shut his eyes, and made an effort to sleep. But ventured to take another look, he saw the figure lying across still the same pressure continued; and still, as often as he him in the same position. To add to the wonder, on putting his hand forth to touch this form, he found the uniform in entrance of one of his brother officers, to whom he called which it appeared to be dressed, dripping wet. On the after, he received the startling intelligence, that on that out in alarm, the apparition vanished; but in a few months night his brother had been drowned in the Indian seas. Of the supernatural character of this appearance, Captain Kidd himself did not appear to have the slightest doubt."

Per

[ocr errors]

I

I'm sure I haven't. I would rather the whole dcountry was sunk in the sea!-I the Scotch accent!'" "While Lord Byron and Mr Peel were at Harrow to"One circumstance related to me, as having occurred gether, a tyrant, some few years older, whose name was , claimed a right to fag little Peel, which claim (whe-ceiving, as he walked the deck, a small yataghan, or in the course of the passage, is not a little striking. ther rightly or wrongly, I know not) Peel resisted. His Turkish dagger, on one of the benches, he took it up, unresistance, however, was in vain;-****** not only sub- sheathed it, and, having stood for a few moments contemdued him, but determined also to punish the refractory plating the blade, was heard to say in an under voice, slave; and proceeded forthwith to put this determination in should like to know how a person feels after committing a practice, by inflicting a kind of bastinado on the inner fleshy murder! In this startling speech, we may detect, I think, side of the boy's arm, which, during the operation, was twisted round with some degree of technical skill, to render wish to explore the dark workings of the passions was what, the gem of his future Giaours and Laras. This intense the pain more acute. While the stripes were succeeding with the aid of imagination, at length generated the power; each other, and poor Peel writhing under them, Byron and that faculty which entitled him afterwards to be so saw and felt for the misery of his friend; and, although truly styled the searcher of dark bosoms,' may be traced he knew that he was not strong enough to fight ****** with any hope of success, and that it was dangerous even to, perhaps, its earliest stirrings, in the sort of feeling that produced these words." to approach him, he advanced to the scene of action, and "When I was seized with my disorder, I protested with a flush of rage, tears standing in his eyes, and a voice against both these doctors; but what can a helpless, fevertrembling between terror and indignation, asked very hum-ish, toasted-and-watered poor wretch do? In spite of my bly if ****** would be pleased to tell him How many stripes he meant to inflict? Why,' returned the executioner, you little rascal, what is that to you?'- Because, if you please,' said Byron, holding up his arm, I would take half!""

[ocr errors]

"On the first leaf of his Scriptores Græci,' we find in his school-boy hand, the following memorial:- George Gordon Byron, Wednesday, June 26, A.D. 1805, three quarters of an hour past three o'clock in the afternoon, third

[ocr errors]

teeth and tongue, the English consul, my Tartar, Alba-
nians, dragoman, forced a physician upon me, and in three
days vomited and glistered me to the last gasp. In this
state I made my epitaph-take it:

Youth, Nature, and relenting Jove,
To keep my lamp in strongly strove;
But Romanelli was so stout,

He beat all three-and blew it out.'

But Nature and Jove being piqued at my doubts, did in fact, at last, beat Romanelli; and here I am, well, but weakly, at your service."

no public, except for his prose writings-the Life of Nelson is beautiful.

"I have not answered W. Scott's last letter,-but I will. "You don't know D-s, do you? He had a Farce I regret to hear from others that he has lately been uaforready for the stage before I left England, and asked me fortunate in pecuniary involvements. He is undoubtedly the a prologue, which I promised, but sailed in such a hurry, I Monarch of Parnassus, and the most English of bards. I never penned a couplet. I am afraid to ask after his Drama, should place Rogers next in the living list (I value him for fear it should be damned. Lord forgive me for using more, as the last of the best school)-Moore and Campbell such a word! But the pit, sir, you know, the pit-they both third-Southey, and Wordsworth, and Coleridge next will do these things in spite of merit. I remember this Farce the rest of moλ20-thus: from a curious circumstance. When Drury Lane was burnt to the ground, by which accident Sheridan and his son lost W. Scott. the few remaining shillings they were worth, what doth my friend D-do? Why, before the fire was out, he writes a note to Tom Sheridan, the manager of this combustible concern, to enquire whether this farce was not converted into fuel, with about two thousand other inactable manuscripts, which of course were in great peril, if not actually consumed. Now, was not this characteristic ?—the ruling passions of Pope are nothing to it. Whilst the poor distracted manager was bewailing the loss of a building only worth £300,000, together with some twenty thousand pounds of rags and tinsel in the tiring-rooms, Blue-Beard's elephants, and all that-in comes a note from a scorching author, requiring at his hands two acts and odd scenes of a farce!!"

Rogers.

Moore.-Campbell.

Southey.-Wordsworth.-Coleridge.

[ocr errors]

The Many.

"He spoke often of his mother to Lord Sligo, and with a feeling that seemed little short of aversion. Some time or other,' he said, 'I will tell you why I feel thus towards her.' A few days after, when they were bathing together in the There is a triangular Gradus ad Parnassum!'-the names Gulf of Lepanto, he referred to this promise, and, pointing are too numerous for the base of the triangle. Poor Thurto his naked leg and foot, exclaimed,Look there! it is to low has gone wild about the poetry of Queen Bess's reigu her false delicacy at my birth I owe that deformity; and-c'est dommage. I have ranked the names upon my triyet, as long as I can remember, she has never ceased to taunt angle more upon what I believe popular opinion, than any and reproach me with it. Even a few days before we decided opinion of my own. For, to me, some of M**e's parted, for the last time, on my leaving England, she, in last Erin sparks,- Ås a beam o'er the face of the Waters' one of her fits of passion, uttered an imprecation upon me, -When he who adores thee'-' Oh blame not'—and, 'Oh praying that I might prove as ill-formed in mind as I am breathe not his name'-are worth all the Epics that ever in body! His look and manner, in relating this frightful were composed." circumstance, can be conceived only by those who have ever seen him in a similar state of excitement."

"Redde some Italian, and wrote two Sonnets on I never wrote but one sonnet before, and that was not in earnest, and many years ago, as an exercise and I will never write another. They are the most puling, petrifying, stupidly Platonic compositions. I detest the Petrarch so much, that I would not be the man even to have obtained his Laura, which the metaphysical, whining dotard never could."

[ocr errors]

"A poet's mistress should remain, if possible, as imaginary a being to others, as, in most of the attributes he clothes her with, she has been to himself;-the reality, however fair, being always sure to fall short of the picture which a too lavish fancy has drawn of it. Could we call up in array before us all the beauties whom the love of poets has immortalized, from the high-born dame to the plebeian "Just returned from seeing Kean in Richard. By Jove, damsel,-from the Lauras and Sacharissas down to the he is a soul! Life-nature-truth-without exaggeration Chloes and Jeanies,-we should, it is to be feared, sadly or diminution. Kemble's Hamlet is perfect; but Hamlet unpeople our imaginations of many a bright tenant that is not Nature. Richard is a man; and Kean is Richard." poesy has lodged there, and find, in more than one instance, "Redde Machiavel, parts of Chardin, and Sismondi, and our admiration of the faith and fancy of the worshipper in- Bandello,-by starts. Redde the Edinburgh, 44, just come creased by our discovery of the worthlessness of the idol." out. In the beginning of the article on Edgeworth's Pa"I have met Curran at Holland-house-he beats every-tronage,' I have gotten a high compliment, I perceive. body;-his imagination is beyond human, and his humour Whether this is creditable to me, I know not; but it does (it is difficult to define what is wit) perfect. Then he has honour to the editor, because he once abused me. Many a fifty faces, and twice as many voices, when he mimics; I man will retract praise; none but a high-spirited mind will never met his equal. Now, were I a woman, and eke a revoke its censure, or can praise the man it has once attackvirgin, that is the man I should make my Scamander. He ed. I have often, since my return to England, heard Jefis quite fascinating. Remember I have met him but once; frey most highly commended, by those who knew him, for and you, who have known him long, may probably deduct things independent of his talents. I admire him for thisfrom my panegyric. I almost fear to meet him again, lest not because he has praised me, (I have been so praised elsethe impression should be lowered. He talked a great deal where and abused, alternately, that mere habit has rendered about you-a theme never tiresome to me nor any body else me as indifferent to both, as a man at twenty-six can be to that I know. What a variety of expression he conjures into any thing,) but because he is, perhaps, the only man who, that naturally not very fine countenance of his !" under the relations in which he and I stand, or stood with "Rogers is silent,—and, it is said, severe. When he does regard to each other, would have had the liberality to act talk, he talks well; and on all subjects of taste his delicacy thus; none but a great soul dared hazard it. The height of expression is pure as his poetry. If you enter his house on which he stands has not made him giddy; a little scrib-his drawing-room-his library-you of yourself say, this bler would have gone on cavilling to the end of the chapter." is not the dwelling of a common mind. There is not a gem, the Ettrick Shepherd. He wants me to recommend him to "Oh! I have had the most amusing letter from Hogg a coin, a book, thrown aside on his chimney-piece, his sofa, his table, that does not bespeak an almost fastidious elegance Murray; and, speaking of his present bookseller, whose bills in the possessor. But this very delicacy must be the misery him and them both! I laughed, and so would you too, at ' are never lifted,' he adds, totidem verbis, God d-n of his existence. Oh, the jarrings his disposition must have encountered through life!—Southey, I have not seen the way in which this execration is introduced. The said much of. His appearance is Epic; and he is the only exHogg is a strange being, but of great, though uncouth isting entire man of letters; all the others have some pur-powers. I think very highly of him as a poet; but he, and suit annexed to their authorship. His manners are mild, but not those of a man of the world, and his talents of the first order. His prose is perfect-of his poetry there are various opinions; there is, perhaps, too much of it for the present generation: posterity will probably select. He has passages equal to any thing. At present he has a party, but

[ocr errors]

half of those Scotch and Lake Troubadours, are spoilt by living in little circles and petty societies. London and the world is the only place to take the conceit out of a man, in

"He learned to think more reverently of the Petrarch' afterwards."

the milling phrase. Scott, he says, is gone to the Orkneys make him remember my name, I asked him if he had ever in a gale of wind; during which wind, he affirms, the said heard of an old odd fellow, styled "The Ettrick ShepScott," he is sure, is not at his ease,-to say the best of it.'-herd ?". Lord, Lord! if these home-keeping minstrels had crossed your Atlantic, or my Mediterranean, and tasted a little open-boating in a white squall,—or a gale in the gut, or the Bay of Biscay' with no gale at all, how it would enliven and introduce them to a few new sensations!"

We make no apology for the extreme length to which our notice of this work has run. We are well satisfied that we could not have presented our readers with any other reading half so delightful. When our mind has had leisure to dwell a little more upon the volume, there are various parts of it to which we shall probably again direct attention. In the meantime, we are glad to have had it in our power, thus early, to do some little justice to the merits of this national and captivating work.

MISCELLANEOUS LITERATURE.

DR DAVID DALE'S

ACCOUNT OF A GRAND AERIAL VOYAGE.

.manner.

By the Ettrick Shepherd.

I'll tell you a tale of Davie Dale;
On Monanday at morn
He tedderit his tyke ayont the dike,
And bade him wear the corn.

But the tyke laup, the tedder brak,
The ewes gaed in the corn:
And that's a tale of Davie Dale,
On Monanday at morn.

"The Ettrick Shepherd!" exclaimed he; "well may I remember him! And well may he remember me! which he will do the longest day he has to live. I wonder if the old cock be still alive-for if he be, he must be a very old man." Mr Smith made answer that he had never heard of his death, and that he surely did behove to be a very old man, for he had been mentioned as a poet from the time that any body living recollected.

"Oh, much longer than that, sir, I assure you," said the Doctor, " much longer than that. As to his poetry, God mend it! If telling the most extravagant lies be poetry, we have a grand set of poets now-a-days! But I think, of them all, there have never any told so many confounded lies as that Jock Hogg. These are not all to go for nothing, Mr Smith. I dislike a character that entertains people with fables as if they were true stories. There is nothing like sticking by the genuine truth." Here Mr Smith tipped me the wink, hinting to me to note whether or not the Doctor told the truth.

"Well, talking of that Ettrick Shepherd, there was once the strangest hap befell to him and me that ever befell to two human beings. And that is more than thirty years ago; and he was an old man then, I should think approaching to sixty, for his hair was white as snow, rugged and shaggy, and stood up on his crown like the mane of a polar bear. But I must tell you the story, gentlemen, for it was such an act of cruelty and injustice as never was practised upon two innocent and unsuspecting

men.

"Well, you see, gentlemen, my great lawsuit came to that critical and important point, that unless I could be removed out of the way, all was lost to my opponent. The Bard had, likewise, given a sort of hearsay evidence, which, as it tended strongly to authenticate my statement of facts, although they tried to invalidate it as much as they could, they dreaded abominably. And Harry Erskine being the counsel against me, what out of security to his client, what of fun and what of mischief, I have no doubt but he was the mainspring of the following intense practical joke.

"One morning, Harry calls for me very early, and says, Doctor, I should like to have a quiet walk with you, that we may talk over yon affair. It is now coming to a perilous crisis, and I think some compromise between the parties should be attempted.'

'Nay, nay, sir, that will never do for me,' says I; 'but there is no man alive with whom I would be happier to take a walk than Mr Erskine.' So he led me on, and led me on, always talking and talking about the lawsuit in the most careless and indifferent manner imagi

Old Nursery Rhyme. WHETHER the hero of whom I write was a dependent of this foolish shepherd or not, I am not quite certain; but I have always deemed it probable, as he bore the same name, and inherited a portion of the same credulous propensity. Why or whence he had his degree I never learned, but certes, he was always designated Dr Dale; and thus much I have heard of his history, that he got involved in a labyrinth of lawsuits, all arising out of one another, and all owing to his simplicity and credulity for he believed every word that the limbs of the law told him, until they wrested from him a fair estate, and reduced him from affluence to a very precarious subsistence. These severe losses and disappointments had the effect of deranging his intellect in a very extraordinary Instead of curing him of his credulity, they heightened it an hundred degrees, insomuch that there was nothing too hard for him to swallow as a literal fact; and the more incredible the story was, and the more out of nature, he believed it the better. He had, moreover, a facility of conception that has seldom fallen to the lot of man, by the power of which he added incidents of his own, and even conceived whole stories, which he related,nable, which I could not avoid remarking. At length, and, I am convinced, believed, as having really happened. As a pleasant instance of this versatility and interminable concatenation of incidents, I shall here relate one of his stories, which, considering the odd circumstances in which it was related, altogether is without a parallel, especially in viewing it as a man caught taking a marten for a fox, or rather in having a wrong sow by the ear. Happening to call late one evening at the house of Mr "We did so, and behold there was the old Shepherd Smith, vintner in Minnyhive, a town on the borders of sitting in one of the two seats, and with great glee, and a Galloway, Mr Smith said he would introduce me to the most obstreperous voice, was defying the owner to set the ⚫ strangest character I ever had met with in my existence. machine a-hotching, as he called it, because it had no lockAccordingly, he took me into a little parlour, and introdu-omotive powers. I instantly sided with the Bard, declaced me by name to Dr Dale, an old man with a cheerful countenance, and loquacious beyond measure. He had been drinking; from this, however, the hallucinations of his fancy did not appear to be derived, but rather from some erratic visions of the soul.

It so happened, that in an exceedingly short space he asked my name more than a dozen times, forgetting it always the next minute. At length, in order to impress him in some degree with my consequence, or at all events

on the North Meadow Walk, we came upon something like a wicker tent, and a few very knowing like fellows placed around it. 'Oh, I am so glad we chanced to come this way,' says Harry; we shall see fine sport. This is a fellow, who, for a great pretended wager, is to try the powers of a self-moving machine which he has contrived. Let us go and examine it before it sets out.'

ring, as my opinion, that it was all a hoax, for there was no self-moving principle about the machine.

"The owner being much offended at this, we laughed immoderately; and as for Erskine, he laughed till the tears ran down his cheeks, and said there were more selfmoving principles in the world than some folk dreamed of. They then persuaded me, by way of experiment, to take the other seat beside the Shepherd, which I readily did.

The owner desired us to make ourselves firm, as the

movement was of a very uneasy nature, and he buckled two strong belts round each of our waists, which fastened us to the machine. The Shepherd then waved his bonnet, and cried, Set her a-ganging, now, lad! set her a-hotching! There will be an awfu' gallop soon. Hup, yaud! hoit, yaud! Hey to the gate, yaud! Ha, ha, ha! I think the yaud has ta'en the reest. Awm thinkin she'll be spavied i' the hint legs. Ye had better tak' a reed-het gaud o' ern, lad, and stap it atween her hips; I hae whiles seen that gar a reestin yaud set to the gate-ha, ha, ha!'

"Harry Erskine was by this time lying rolling on the green with laughter, and we were all laughing as loud as we could, when what did the infernal villains do, but let go a baloon at the back of the wall, which was quite concealed from our sight! This at first gave us such a jerk, that it deprived me of sensation, so that I knew not to what sort of movement we were subjected. But the old Bard had not been so callous, for the moment after he uttered a tremendous yell of despair, which was echoed far below-and, as I am a man of honour, ere ever we could draw our breath, we were entering the clouds, and losing sight of the earth. The last sight that I got of Edinburgh, the Castle was not so large as a mole-hill. "I now became alarmed for the reason of my companion, for a man so overcome with terror I never beheld. He was staring all about him among the dark clouds, and braying out Murder! murder!' in a voice so Stentorophonick, that I question but it was heard at the North Meadow Walk, which would have been glorious fun to our enemies. Sir, consider where you are, and abate these cries of horror, which can avail you nothing. We are now, by the wiles and contrivance of my mortal enemies, sent out on a voyage of discovery in the heavens, without either helm, rudder, or compass, but nevertheless, we are still in the hand of the Lord.'.

* In the hand of the Lord, ye auld raggamuffin?' says Hogg ; ' I think it wad hae been wiser like if ye had said we war hinging at the tail o' the devil, whilk I'm sure we are. Aih, what a monstrous auld dragon he is! See how he is boring through yon thunner cludds without ever singeing his auld shapeless pow, but clearing the way for his cargo!-Gudeness and mercy! whaten shapes are these? We are coming into the keuntry o' the bogles already. Heigh! preserve us!'

"This last sentence of the Bard's was expressed in a load frantic bellow, as if something had a hold of him, which made all the hairs on my head creep, for I perceived, or thought I perceived, a number of hideous shapes, resembling warriors clad in black, but twenty times as large as the human form. 'Who or what can these be?' said the Shepherd. Is it not terrible that the verra cludds o' the firmament should be inhabited, and that by siccan giants as these? I wonder what they get to eat, for I see naething for them here but to gobble up hailstanes an' fire.'

⚫ That phenomenon, my friend,' said I, 'can only be accounted for in the refraction of the rays of light upon a denser body. For example, the refraction which the rays of light suffer in slanting across the higher regions of the air, is greater than what calculation assigns to the corresponding density of the medium. But the supposed discrepancy would entirely disappear, were we to suppose those strata to consist of hydrogen gas, which is known to possess in a remarkable degree the power of refraction.'

'Hech, man, but I daursay that is very deep and very grand philosophy!' said the impatient and intractable Bard; but the warst fau't that it has, it's a babble o' nonsense. I'll tell you at aince what yon awsome apparitions are, without ony palaver about the density o' the medium. They are the deil's artillerymen, for I saw their lang matches in their hands; an' you'll hear a tremendous volley soon, for I thought I heard his majesty, ar muckle haggis-headed friend there, gi'en orders as he

came by, to fire-an' I hope there will ane o' the bolts at least light on the North Meadow Walk at Edinburgh! O! to hear tell that it drave a' yon blackguards helterskelter, and left them lying wi' their banes as saft as roasted ingans !'

"Accordingly, by the time the Shepherd had done speaking, there was a tremendous volley of thunder right below our feet, the effect of which, even to men hasting to their long homes, was grand and impressive. That's perfectly terrible!' said the Shepherd. Od, I believe their cannons are run away on their wheels rattlin' to the far end o' the heavens. There they go again, raat-tat-tat boorrrr! Level at the North Walk, brave old harquebusiers!-O what a glorious voyage this would be, if we had aught to eat and drink! But to be set adrift through the heavens to perish wi' hunger an' thirst, is a waefu' prospect indeed. It has ta'en away a' my relish for thae grand gangins-on o' nature already, when I think o' the weary weird we hae to dree. Od, I wadna wonder gin we war found in some far polar keuntry, twa dried skeletons, like Egyptian mummies, an' eaten for hams by the Esquimaux or the Greenlanders! Even already I find my stameck beginning to crave me, for how chill an' thin the air feels up hereabouts! A waught o' the mountain dew just now wad be worth a warld o' wally-wonders. I fancy the deil gets a' the lawyers; at ony rate, if no, he is sure of a batch in the North Meadow Walk the day. O that he may tattoo them wi' reed-het spindles, for sending us up to speel the lift like a wheen hungry craws! Od, the very fear o' deeing for hunger, will tak the breath frae me in a few hours.'

'Have patience, have patience, my dear sir,' said I; 'it's in vain to fret or fume, which will only put an end to our precarious existence the sooner. Perhaps the gas may be exhausted in these celestial regions, and then the attraction of gravity may draw us again to the earth in life and breath.'

'The attraction of what? Od, ane can hardly keep their gravity, when hearing you speak! Aboon a' things, I hate to journey wi' a philosopher, for he is always bothering ane wi' ox's gin and headraw gin, when his hearer wadna gie a bottle o' Peter Forbes's Hollands for them

a''

"I now began to feel truly sorry for the past, as I saw the terror of dying of hunger and thirst would infallibly drive him mad, and that he would thereby lose every frail chance of surviving; and perceiving a great covered space all around us, I began to reconnoitre, and the very first spring-latch that I opened, was in the space between the Shepherd's knees and mine, and behold, on opening the lid, there stood a keg of at least six gallons, and the thrilling name GLEN-LIVET written on it in large characters. When the poet beheld this, he gave such a spring for joy in his wicker-seat, that he made the balloon bob, and put her so much off her balance, that she kept a rocking motion for an hour afterwards, while for five or six minutes of the time he continued to utter one scream of joy after another; and perceiving a spigot in the cask, and a queich in a corner of the wicker-chest, he forthwith filled himself a bumper, spilling a great deal in laughing. Then taking off his bonnet, he said, ' Here's a health to Harry Erskine! He's witty Harry yet. An' here's to a' the lawyers wha war on the North Meadow Wauk this morning. God bless them a', for a wheen sensible, clever chiels! Here's t'ye, Doctor, min.-Hay, it is a grand thing yon philosophy! Hae ye ony mair o't now?'

'That keg appears to have changed the nature of things with you, most elevated Bard,' said I. 'But see, what is here all around us-wines, biscuits, tongues, pies, I know not what all, provisions for months to come. Now, I'll bet that the hydrogen gas is rarified to that degree as to carry us half the circuit of the globe, for it is evident the villains have set us off never more to be seen or heard tell off. It is likely we may fall in some of the polar regions, among snow and ice.'

[ocr errors]

Ay, or maybe into the mids o' the sea, Doctor, an' be draggit at the tail o' that great hellfire monster, bumping frae the tap o' ae wave to another, till we be chokit. An' then to be gaun on plashing in the same style after we are dead, is an awfu' thing, ha, ha, ha! Never mind, Doctor, here's a queich o' most excellent stuff for you. Do ye ken, sir, that I hae suffered sae muckle wi' hunger an' thirst in my life, that when a man has plenty to eat and drink, I never account ony circumstances hard that he can be in? Take off that, an' I'll e'en fill another to mysell. Where's that blood coming frae?'

'Oh, lak-a-day, sir,' said I, we are now so elevated, and the column of air so light, that we can no longer keep the blood in our veins. It is oozing from the top of your brow like a purple perspiration, as well as from the tips of my fingers.'

Ay, deil care, let it uze on,' said he, 'we hae the mair need of a little o' the creature to supply the blood's place. We's hae ilk ane another queich, at ony rate.' We took each of us another, and some venison pie, and while eating, owing to the excessive chillness of the region, we fell both sound asleep; and slept I know not how long, nor do I think I should ever have awakened again, had it not been for the obstreperous notes of the Shepherd, who, as soon as his nap was over, had begun again to the GlenLivet, and was now singing the following verses, till the arches of heaven responded:

SONG FIRST.

The tempest may tout, and the wind may blaw
With its whoo-rhoo, morning and even,
For now the auld Shepherd's aboon them a',

Winging his way through the sternies of heaven.
He has had dreams of the night an' the day,
Journeys sublime by streamer and rainbow,
Over the clifts of the milky-way,

And by the light of the seraphim's window.

Now in his flesh, his blood, and his bone,

Far o'er his cliffs and mountains of heather,
Here he careers through the starry zone,
Bounding away on the billows of ether.
Whoo-rhoo Gillan-an-dhu,
This is a scene from the future we borrow;
This is the way each spirit must stray,
Mazed in delight, in terror or sorrow—

Hech wow! that's a serious thought! Amen! 'Weel, weel, Amen! be't.-Doctor, wauken up, like a good lad, an' say Amen for aince. There's a grand sunshine hill, which I think is like Ben-Nevis. An' there's a moon in the lift, as big as a wheel-rim. I think ye're amazed, Doctor, -an' weel ye may.'

6

'Sir, you are inebriated,' said I; 'intoxicated beyond measure! For this is no earthly mountain that we are coming upon, but the moon herself, while yon immense pale globe that you see at such a distance is the earth.' 'Aih, Lord preserve us! is that the case?' cried the Shepherd. Then, if she has that power of attraction that you talk of as the all-regulating law of nature, we are likely to get some hard bumps against her majesty very soon. An' it is hard to tell what kind o' welcome we may get frae the folk, for it is a question if ever they have heard tell o' the Ettrick Shepherd. She is very like Ben-Nevis at the sun-setting, however. Hand me the prospeck by, an' let me get a look at her, for it strikes me, an' has done this hour past, that we are receding frae

[merged small][ocr errors][merged small][merged small][merged small]

ries, whilk is a gayan good sign that inhabitants are there,' said the Shepherd. But we are now fleeing like an arrow out of a bow away frae her. Here, Doctor, take the prospeck, and gie us a screed o' philosophy, for I'm gaun to gie ye another sang.

SONG SECOND.

Now fare ye weel, bonny Lady Moon,
Wi' thy dark look o' majesty,
For though you hae a queenly face,
'Tis yet a fearsome sight to see :
Thy lip is like Ben-Lomond's base,

Thy mouth a dark unmeasured dell, Thine eyebrow like the Grampian range, Fringed with the brier and heather bell.

Yet still thou bear'st a human face,
Of calm and ghostly dignity;
Some emblem there I fain would trace

Of Him that made both thee and me.
Fareweel, thou bonny Lady Moon,

For there's neither stop nor stay for me;
But when this mortal life is done,

I will take a jaunt and visit thee. 'Weel, Doctor, what do ye see about her ladyship that ye didna ken afore?'

'I can't see distinctly with the telescope,' said I, 'owing to the rapidity of our motion. But I see she's a round opaque mass of matter, without internal light, without an elemental atmosphere, and consequently without inhabitants.'

'Ha, gude faith, lad, but that's a muckle discovery, an' a deep ane-or, I should rather say, an elevated ane,' said the Shepherd, who was busily engaged with something else. But it is a braw elemental sphere this o' ours, for here's a good queich o' claret for ye, an' a shag o' butteran'-bread.'

And these are not blessings to be despised, James,' said I; but now we are descending rapidly in a northerly direction. We have formed a great paracentrical parabola, and I think must come to the ground somewhere in the North Highlands. Do you know what a parabola is, James?'

‘Ou, finely that, man.—Here's t'ye.—It is just a kind o' representation o' things by similitude and a very good way it is. It answers poetry unco weel.'

'It is strange to me how ever you came to be accounted a man of genius,' said I, 'for such an opacity of intellect I never encountered. It was one of the conic sections of which I was talking.'

O, that is a part of geometry,' said he. 'Weel, I could try you on that subject too, though it is rather a kittle ane. Mr Constable has published a singularly able book on mathematics just now, which I would fain have had a lend o', but didna like to ask him for it, as he had given me Marmion so lately. However, I'll take a spell wi' ye at geometry, for I dinna like to be countit ignorant by ony body but mysell. I understand the parabolic and the hyperbolic curves; the cycloid and the epicycloid; the catenary and the logarithmic; the magnetic curve, and the curve of tangents, an' what the mischief mair wad ye hae for the understanding the principles o' geometry?'

"I am astonished how you even know their designations and arrangements,' said I. But here is something more serious to think of, for we are now wearing fast to the earth, and I perceive the ocean under us. And it appears that we have been a day and a night in the upper regions of the firmament, for see the sun is again in the east, and the whole face of the country free of the dark clouds in which we were involved yesterday morning. There is land between us and the sun, but we are yet far from it. And as the sun, from his height above the horizon, must be about E.S. E., so we are sailing on a south-west wind, and descending slowly towards the northeast.'

« ՆախորդըՇարունակել »