SCENE II-A Farm Yard. Enter from Farm House, L. U. E., DAME BROADCAST, followed by BROADCAST. Dame. Lack a day! what can have become of the child? He ought to have been home an hour ago. I hope no harm— Broad. No, no-don't be frightened-you may see I bean't. Dame. Thank heaven, there he is Broad. Is he? [Recovering from his alarm.] Did not I say what a fool thee was, to be frightened ? Dame. Ralph, see!-he's leading a strange looking man -one of your oversea foreigners like Broad. Foreigners! he gets no harbour here,I can tell him. Enter GEORGE, leading in COUNT VILLARS, R. Geo. There, Sir, we've got home at last. Oh, father, I found this poor gentleman so faint and weary, he could not walk Broad. And what was that to you? Geo. Why, I'll tell you, father. My master ordered me to get by heart these words,-"We become good ourselves by doing good to others." So I practised my lesson, by assisting Broad. A villain, may be. You don't enter my house.I boast of being a true-born Briton. Count V. I thought a Briton's proudest boast was humanity to a fallen enemy. Broad. That's a bit of a puzzler. But, zounds, he may be a spy, and come to tell Geo. Then don't let him tell that I have a hard-hearted father. Count V. I ask a little water for charity. Dame. Water, that's but cold comfort, Ralph. Broad. Mortal poor hungry stuff, indeed.-I say, you may just draw him a mug of beer, if 'tis only for the novelty of the thing. Dame. With all my heart. [Exit into house. - Broad. I'm a bit of a constable, and must cross-question him. Geo. Don't cross-question him, father. Broad. What countryman be you? Count V. A native of France. Broad. A Frenchman! Count V. Yes, Sir.-Oh, my beloved country! degraded as thou art, still art thou mine, and with my latest breath will I assert thee!-Sir, I was shipwrecked on your coast, and the small remains of a princely fortune, which i had preserved from revolutionary destruction, was buried in the waters. Geo. Poor gentleman! [Coaringly pulls his father's arm round his neck.] Broad. Bless thy tender heart! I thought just now I had lost thee, and then my worst enemy might have pitied me. [To Count Villars.] And what was your errand here, eh? Count V. To seek a lost child. Geo. And won't you pity your enemy, that has lost his child? Broad. I hope, that is, I suppose you found it. Count V. No, she was gone, fled with a-Let me not proclaim my shame,-rather let the foul pollution consume and dry up the vital stream she has dishonoured.--Oh! oh! [Is near fainting. Enter, from House, DAME, with Beer. Dame. Here, dear good outlandish man, drink. Count V. [Eagerly drinks.] 'Tis reviving, 'tis delicious!-A wretched man thanks you for your hospitable kindness. Broad. 'Drabbit it, I don't know what to do, not I. Broad. Why it somehow takes his part,-I can't say but it does. Come, drink again. My beer's like you, Mounseer, it improves upon acquaintance. [Count Villars drinks.] It makes him smile, don't it? [Broadcast drinks. Count V. "Tis excellent, indeed.--Ah, this is the liquor that makes the Englishman fight. Geo. Yes, Sir, it makes my father fight very often. Broad. Hush! [Dame motions George to be silent] But, I say, you'll allow that an Englishman's a match for a dozen Frenchmen? Count V. A dozen, Sir, is a great many. But I will say, that the Englishman who boasts of his superiority, makes himself a Frenchman's inferior. Broad. That's plump, however. Dame. Come, Ralph.-Ask him in.-Don't be stingy. Broad Stingy. It bean't for that.-I think money's like manure, of no use when in a heap; but properly spread, it draws forth nature's best blessings.-I will, if 'tis only for variety, and the fun on't, like.-What say you, Mounseer, to an English supper, and a warm bed after it? Count V. A bed of clean straw is a luxury I have not lately enjoyed. Broad. Come, Dame, be alive. [Exit Dame into House.] Your fare will be coarse, but wholesome. Count V. While you can eat the bread of liberty and independence, it does not much import whether it is white or brown. Broad. Why, dang it, that's as good a bit of downright English as ever was spoken in parliament house. You must know, I was brought up to hate foreigners. What mischief they do in the nation, let wiser heads than mine settle; but one of them made sad work here, for the daughter of my worthy landlord, Mr. Cleveland Count V. [Aside.] Cleveland! Stand I a beggar on my wife's inheritance! Broad. She married a countryman of yours, one Count Villars. It almost broke the old gentleman's heart, and made the name of Villars hated mortally; but that's no concern of yours, and so walk in, Mounseer. Count V. Hold! Suppose Count Villars should claim your hospitality? Broad. I would spurn him from my door Count V. I am he! [Broadcast snatches George from his hand, rushes into the house, shutting the door with violence.] Almighty Father, be merciful if despair drive me into the embraces of my last friend! Tremble, ye tyrants, whose ambition engenders 'twixt man and man the baneful passions of hatred and revenge, defling the temple of the human heart, which heaven has gifted with its own attributes of love and charity to all its creatures. Now to seek the shelter of some hovel.-Mr. Cleveland, of thy wide domains, all Villars will claim of thee is a grave. SCENE III.-Tantivy Hall. Enter ASPIC, L. [Exit, L. Asp. Let me review the state of affairs.-Rosine being here, Vincent won't think of Sir Guy's daughter ;-two material articles disposed of.-Now, if my prospectus succeeds, my pupil Suckling shall disgust Sir Guy with his acquired jargon, and then To triumphe.-But now for the lovely Mrs. Templeton ;-and if her virtue won't suit my personal purposes, her follies will exactly suit my new novel.--Here comes my eleve, and conning his lesson. Enter SUCKLING, L. -Suck. When man was created, and before the alembic of ratiocination had amalgamated opposing passions, and neutralized deleterious affections, and before- Asp. Bravo! you are perfect. Suck. An't I? Oh, now I've got a speech to my back, I bean't afeard of the best of them. speech.-1 say, what is it about ? "Tis a very sensible Asp. That's their business to find out. Asp. Now, mark me,-Sir Guy refuses you his daughter, because he thinks humbly, and of course erroneously, of your talents, but give him proof to the contrary, and Ellen is your own :-here he comes.-Now astound him with your impudence, paralize him with your consequence, aud smother him with your eloquence. [Exit, R. Suck. [Imitating.] And smother him-'tis soon said-I don't think much good will come of making me a beau esprit 'tis distorting into a fricasee what nature meant should be plain boiled. Besides, I've read, that a critic at a book is like a dog at a feast, who only feeds on what other folks throw away, and snarls all the time into the bargain. Now, I love good humour and the nice bits, but 'tis all for Ellen; and as love makes wise men fools, who knows but it may make me a wise man—and so, old Guy, I'll smother you. Enter SIR GUY STANCH and JERRY, L. Sir G. Mr. Templeton's servant brought it, did he ? Sir G. [Reading a letter.] "I am delighted to find that 66 my son Vincent has conceived an attachment for your "daughter."-So am I. "Permission to address her-wait 66 on you."-Summon all the maids to dizen out Nell, and tell her to summon all her airs and graces.-Let her have her music at her fingers' end, her capers at her foot's end, and her ologies at her tongue's end, that she may make a burst with the whole pack of them.-[Exit Jerry, L.] [To Suckling.] Stand out of my way! Suck. Stand out of my way !-'Ecod, 'tis high time to smother him. Sir G. I dare say he will be here immediately. What's o'clock. Suck. Hem! In discussing that important subject it will be necessary to recur to first principles. When man was created, and before the alembic of ratiocination had amalgamated opposing passions, and neutralized deleterious affections, and before the social compact had received the indentation of common consent, and the impress of experience, and before Sir G. [Whistles.] He's cracked! I did not ask what time of the month it was, you mooncalf. Suck. Mooncalf! Your remark, old Guy, is as insipid as boiled veal, and I deem it a paramount duty to explode your damned, formal, corner-cupboard uotions. Sir G. And I deem it a paramount duty, when puppies are let into the parlour and misbehave, to dismiss them with a horsewhip. Come, clear the course, for I expect young Templeton to receive my daughter's hand! Suck. What! Oh, thou most savage of hunters!--By the gods, such a deed, even in the days of barbarism, when man was created, and before the alembic of ratiocination had[A knocking at the door, R. Sir G. He's here!-Away, you babbling mongrel! [Pushes out Suckling, who goes on with his speech till forced off, L.] for here comes a thorough-bred one, and so capitally trained, that at the next parliamentary stakes I'll start him for the county. Enter VINCENT TEMPLETON, R. Welcome, thrice welcome, my dear Sir, to Tantivy Hall! Where are all my rascals?-throw open the best rooms ;— load the sideboard with plate, and serve the venison pastyVin. What the devil's all this ceremony for !-Sir Guy, think me not ungrateful for this noble reception--but my anxiety to behold Sir G. You amorous young rogue! but I like you the better; it shews blood; only you need not push me out of my own house. Vin. I ask ten thousand pardons.-Is she in that room? Sir G. [Putting down his hand.] No, no, I must prepare her to receive you. Vin. And does she consent to receive me? Sir G. To be sure.-A father's authority-- Vin. [Aside.] True, all my dear Rosine required was my father's sanction, which, being obtained, she will pardon. 'Sdeath and fury, Sir, a'nt you gone? Sir G. What a fiery dog it is! I'm going. I say, was it at Mrs. Polish's she touched you?-Eh! [Hitting Vincent's breast. Vin. Exactly; 'tis very rude to keep a lady waiting. |
