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that it is but one of thofe honours a husband receives for the fake of his wife.

It is making court but ill to one fine woman to fhew her the regard we have for another; and yet I muft own there is not a period of this epiftle but fquints towards another over-against it. It will be in vain to diffemble: your penetrating eyes cannot but discover, how all the letters that compofe these words lean forward after lady M's. letters, which seem to bend as much from mine, and fly from them as faft as they are able. Ungrateful letters that they are! which give themselves to another man, in the very prefence of him who will yield to no mortal, in knowing how to value them.

You will think I forget myself, and am not writing to you; but, let me tell you, 'tis you forget yourfelf in that thought, for you are almoft the only woman to whom one can fafely addrefs the praifes of another. Befides, can you imagine a man of my importance fo ftupid, as to fay fine things to you before your husband? Let us fee how far Lady M. herself dares do any thing like it, with all the wit and address she is mistress of. If Sir Robert can be fo ignorant (now he is left to himself in the country) to imagine any fuch matter, let him know from me, that here in town every thing that lady fays, is taken for fatire. For my part, every body knows it is my conftant practice to speak truth, and I never do it more than when I call myself

Your, &c.

Your

LETTER IV.

have put me into fo much gaiety of temper, that there will not be a ferious word in this day's letter. No more, you'll fay, there would, if I told you the whole serious business of the town.

I 2

All

All last night I continued with you, tho' your unreasonable regularity drove me out of your doors at three a clock. I dreamed all over the evening's conversation, and faw the little bed in spite of you. In the morning I waked, very angry at your phantom for leaving me fo abruptly.-I know you delight in my mortification. I dined with an old Beauty; fhe appear'd at the table like a Death's head enamell'd. The Egyptians, you know, had such things at their entertainments; but do you think they painted and patched them? However, the last of these objections was foon removed; for the lady had fo violent an appetite for a falmon, that fhe quickly eat all the patches off her face. She divided the fifh into three parts; not equal, God knows; for fhe helped Gay to the head, me to the middle, and making the reft much the largest part took it herself, and cried very naively, I'll be content with my own tail.

My fupper was as fingular as my dinner. It was with a great Poet and Ode-maker (that is, a great poet out of his wits, or out of his way.) He came to me very hungry; not for want of a dinner (for that I should make no jeft of) but, having forgot to dine. He fell most furiously on the broil'd relics of a shoulder of mutton, commonly call'd a bladebone: he profeffed he never tafted fo exquisite a thing! begged me to tell him what joint it was; wondered he had never heard the name of this joint, or feen it at other tables; and defir'd to know how he might direct his butcher to cut out the fame for the future? And yet this man, fo ignorant in modern butchery, has cut up half an hundred heroes, and quartered five or fix miferable lovers in every tragedy he has written. I have nothing more to tell you to day.

LET

You

LETTER V.

The Anfwer.

YOU fhould have my Day too, Sir, but indeed I flept it out, and fo I'll give you all that was left, my last Night's entertainment. You know the company. I went in late, in order to be better received; but unluckily came in, as Deuce-ace was flinging (Lord H. would fay I came in the Nick.) The Lady colour'd, and the men took the name of the Lord in vain: No body spoke to me, and I fat down disappointed; then affecting a careless air, gap'd, and cried feven or eight times, D'ye win or lofe? I could fafely fay at that moment I had no temptation to any one of the feven, lively fins; and in the innocent way I was, happy had it been for me if I had died! Moralizing fat I by the hazardtable; I looked upon the uncertainty of riches, the decay of beauty, and the crash of worlds with as much contempt as ever Plato did. But ah! the frailty of human nature! fome ridiculous thought came into my head, wakened my paffions, which burft forth into a violent laughter: I rofe from my feat, and not confidering the juft refentments of the lofing gamefters, hurl'd a ball of paper cross the table, which ftop'd the dice, and turn'd up feven inftead of five. Curs'd on all fides, and not knowing where to fly, I threw myself into a chair, which I demolish'd and never spoke a word after. We went to fupper, and a lady faid, Mifs G. looks prodigiously like a Tree. Every body agreed to it, and I had not curiofity to ask the meaning of that sprightly fancy : Find it out, and let me know. Adieu, 'tis time to dress, and begin the business of the day.

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PRAY

LETTER VĮ.

In the Style of a Lady.

RAY what is your opinion of Fate? for I muft confefs I am one of thofe that believe in Fate and Predestination.-No, I can't go fo far as that, but I own I am of opinion one's ftars may incline, tho' not compel one; and that is a fort of free-will; for we may be able to refift inclination, but not compulfion.

Don't you think they have got into the most prepofterous fashion this winter that ever was, of flouncing the petticoat fo very deep, that it looks like an entire coat of luteftring

It is a little cool indeed for this time of year, but then, my dear, you'll allow it has an extreme clean pretty look.

Ay, fo has my muflin apron; but I would not chufe to make it a winter fuit of cloaths.

Well now I'll fwear, child, you have put me in mind of a very pretty drefs; let me die if I don't think a muflin flounce, made very full, would give one a very agreeable Flirtation-air.

Well, I fwear it would be charming! and I should like it of all things-Do you think there are any fuch things as Spirits?

Do you believe there is any such place as the Elyfian Fields? O Gad, that would be charming! I wish I were to go to the Elyfian fields when I die, and then I fhould not care if I were to leave the world to-morrow: But is one to meet there with what one has lov'd most in this world?

Now you must tell me this pofitively. To be fure you can, or what do I correfpond with you for, if you won't tell me all? you know I abominate Referve.

LET

You

LETTER VII.

Bath, 1714.

OU are to understand, Madam, that my paffion for your fair felf and your fifter, has been divided with the most wonderful regularity in the world. Even from my infancy, I have been in love with one after the other of you, week by week, and my journey to Bath fell out in the three hundred feventy-fixth week of the reign of my fovereign lady Sylvia. At the prefent writing hereof it is the three hundred eighty-ninth week of the reign of your moft ferene majefty, in whose service I was lifted fome weeks before I beheld your fifter. This Information will account for my writing to either of you hereafter, as either shall happen to be Queenregent at that time.

Pray tell your fifter, all the good qualities and virtuous inclinations fhe has, never gave me fo much pleasure in her conversation, as that one vice of her obftinacy will give me mortification this month. Ratcliffe commands her to the Bath, and fhe refuses! indeed if I were in Berkshire I should honour her for this obftinacy, and magnify her no lefs for difobedience than we do the Barcelonians. But people change with the change of places (as we see of late) and virtues become vices when they cease to be for one's intereft, with me, as with others.

Yet let me tell her, she will never look fo finely while fhe is upon earth, as fhe would here in the water. It is not here as in most other instances, for thofe ladies that would please extremely, muft go out of their own element. She does not make half so good a figure on horfeback as Christina Queen of Sweden; but were the once feen in the Bath, no man would part with her for the beft meirmaid in Christendom. You know I have seen you often, I I 4

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