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A BEAUTIFUL Parisian girl called on a lawyer | isbed man that he was the person she was after, of that city noted for his sagacity, to learn how and that she had her witnesses all on hand in she could compel a certain gentleman, with the entry. He married her and was happy. whom she had fallen in love, to marry her Tor other day a town crier took in charge & whether or no. “You must contrive to remain lost child, and proceeded to hunt up his parents. alone with him, mademoiselle, three times, and On being asked by a lady what the matter was, fifteen minutes each time, and have good proof he replied: “Here's an orphan child, madam, of the fact," said the lawyer. “Very well, Mon and I'm trying to find his parents." sieur," replied the girl. She called twice more MARK TWAIN, lecturing on the Sandwich Islon the lawyer, remaining alone with him about ands, offered to show how the cannibals eat their twenty minutes on each occasion, and at the food, if some lady would hand him a baby. The close of the last interview informed the aston-' lecture was not illustrated.

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A PROSY lay member of the church rose in victory, I must tell you all that is in my meeting and said. “My friends, the devil and heart." Then followed a tedious harangue. I have been fighting for more than twenty Coming out of the session room the good pas. minutes. He told me not to speak to-night; but tor inclined his head so that his mouth apI determined that I would. He said that some proached the ear of the militant member, and of the rest could speak better than I; but still I whispered: “Brother, I think the devil' was felt that I could not keep silent. He even whis.right!" pered that I spoke too often, and that nobody BURY your troubles, but don't llnger around wanted to hear me, but I was not to be put the grave-yard conjuring up their ghosts to haunt down that way; and now I have gained the 'you.

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A NEWBURYPORT school teacher about to MUST BE HEALTHY.-In reply to the question marry a widower with a number of children, whether the Nicholson pavement is healthy, a sent in her resignation to the committee, because Western paper says that all the contractors have she “had engaged for an indefinite period of got fat on it. time as an assistant in a private family."

AT ONE of the schools in Cornwall the inspecA QUAKER lady recently explained to her new | tor asked the children if they could quote any domestic that washing day came on every text of Scripture which forbade a man having Second Day. The girl left in high dudgeon. | two wives. One of the children sagely quoted She didn't go to be washing every other day. in reply the text, “No man can serve two mas Not she.

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A CORIOUS experiment was recently tried by one hundred women eighty who had stopped to two inhabitants of Vienna, between whom the look at themselves, and out of one hundred men question arose whether man or woman had the ninety-five who paused to adinire their faces. most vanity. Unable to convince each other, 1 THE following colloquy took place between a they made the subject a question of bet; the surgeon and a rural patient, a few days ago, stakes were two hundred florins. To decide, near Yeovil: Surgeon to his Patient-"Now they agreed to place themselves before a mirror my boy, take this when you go upstairs to bed." shop and count the number of men and women Boy-“But e got no stairs, sir; what must e do. who, out of one hundred of either sex, should then ?" stop and admire themselves in the looking- TO REMOVE STAINS FROM THE CHARACTER, Get glasses. In an hour they had counted out of rich.

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