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Fit. [Sternly] Pray, my friend, were you ever brought to the halberts!

Pat. Sir!

Fit. How came you absent from your regiment? Have you a furlough?

Pat. [Confused.] Not about me, sir.

Fit. Because, you must know, I have the honour to bear the king's commission, and am obliged to take you up for a deserter.

Pat. Sir, it was a reliance on your honour and goodnature that trepanned me here; therefore, sir

Fit. No talk, sir; it was for the good of the service I trepann'd you hither, as you call it. I've a proper person prepared here, into whose custody I shall deliver you. [Unlocks the door. Pat. (L.) What a cruel pièce of treachery! [Aside. Fit. [Presenting Norah.] Since you reject me, madam, here's one that will know how to deal with you.

Nor. My Patrick!

Pat. Oh, Norah ! let's kneel and thank our deliverer. Fit. No, Patrick, you were my deliverer; I am that very officer whose life you saved. Is it possible, that, seeing me now without uniform, you should not recollect me? Take from me the reward of your generosity, valour, and constancy.

F. Luke. [Without, R.] No, I can't find the runaway rascal.

Pat. Your uncle!

Nor. Oh, heavens !

Fit. Don't be alarm'd.

Enter FATHER Luke, Dermot, DARBY, and KATHLANE, R.-Dermot and Kathlane cross behind to 1.

F. Luke. What's here? Patrick! Dermot and Darby, lay hold of him.

Der. Not I.

Dar. I'm no constable.

F. Luke. I say, take him. The sergeant shall lay hold of him.

Dar. Why, sir, the white sergeant has laid hold of him.

Fit. Dear sir, don't be so violent against a young man that you'll presently marry to your niece.

F. Luke. Me!

Fit. Don't you wish to be a bishop?

F. Luke. A fine road to bring a foot soldier into my family; then a halbert must be my crosier, and my mitre a grenadier's cap,-a common soldier indeed!

Fit. He's no longer so: I have a commission to dispose of, and I cannot set a higher value on it, than by bestowing it on one so worthy.

F. Luke. An officer! Oh, that's another thing.

Dar. Pat an officer! I'll list to-morrow, in spite of the black patch.

Kat. [To Norah.] My dear Norah, I wish you joy. Dar. [Apart to Kathlane.] How dare you make so free with an officer's lady?


F. Luke. But, Captain, why do you give up my niece? Fit. Sir, the captain thought himself unworthy of her, when he found superior merit in the poor soldier.





With my commission, yet, dearest life,

My charming wife,

When drum and fife

Shall beat up to arms,

The plunder your charms,

In love your poor soldier you'll find me.

Thus, love my wishes has granted:
I get the dear lad that I wanted,-
Less pleas'd with a duke,

When good Father Luke

To my own little Dermot has join'd me.

You impudent hussy, a pretty rate

Of love you prate;
But hark ye, Kate,-

Your dear little lad
Will find that his pad

Has got a nice-kick in her gallop.

F Luke. Now, Darby, upon my salvation,
You merit excommunication.

In love but agree,
And shortly, you'll see,

In marriage I'll soon tie you all up




The devil a bit o' me cares a bean,
For neat and clean

We'll both be seen,

Myself and my lass

Next Sunday at mass,

And there we'll be coupled for ever.

No future sorrows can grieve us,
If you will please to forgive us;
To each kind friend,

We lowly bend


Your pardon-with joy we're delighted.

More true felicity I shall find

When those are join'd, [To Pat. & Nor.
By fortune kind;

How pleasing to me,

So happy to see

Such merit and virtue united.








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Bottom. Tell them, that I, Pyramus, am not Pyramus, but Bottom, the weaver.

Act III. Scene 1.

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