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Cau. (L. c.) Go along, you scoundrel!
[Endeavouring to conceal him. Tan. (c.) Never to behold-Eb ! [Seeing Ned.] Oh, my dear fellow, how glad I am to see you! [Turns to him and embruces him.] Here, take off these things, will you? [Ned and Gaoler take off the fetters.] I thought such a head as this could not be easily cracked, ha, ha, ha! [Exulting.] Now to my Julia! Farewell, uncle ! Here's cash for you both. [Gives money to Ned and Goaler.
Cau. Then I must kill the dog myself. [Grasps his cane.] Nephew, come here-will you only listen to me?
Tan. Sir, I'll listen to you for a month. [Exit, L. Cau. I'll murder him! stop that villain! [Exit, pursuing.
END OF ACT IV.
SCENE 1.-A Room at Allspice's House.
Enter DASHALL, with an unopened letter. Das. Now, this is not fair play. What a rascally shame! What the devil does Fortune mean by it? Zounds! to be bankrupt-my name in the Gazette at this moment, when I was doing them all in such a capital style! And then to lose the nice girl- I suppose I shall have that fellow, Tangent, demanding satisfaction. Oh! my smashing will fly about like wildfire. If I can't in one hour humbug old Allspice, and marry his daughter, I must scud. For. tune, be but kind-damn her! she's a jade--I'll not invoke her; but thou, genius of swindling, oh! stick by me now, and I'll never forsake thee. She's propitious; for here comes one flat.
Enter ALLSPICE, R. Well, Toby, what are you thinking about?
Ali. (R. C.) London ;-I never was there. You must show me the sights-the lions at the Tower, and the bulls and bears at the Stock Exchange; the parliamenthouse, and the wax-work; the bench of bishops, and the maids of honour;-and, my dear friend, you'll show me the King's Bench.
Das. (c.) Ay, that I will,
All. And, I say, the pretty girls.
Das. True, my dear fellow, but about the trifle of money
All. Trifle ! Oh, the half-crown that I lost to yon at all fours.
Das. No, no ; the five thousand.
Das. My letters from Petersburgh say, the frost has set in there devilish hard ; that furs will be any price.
All. Indeed! I have the money in my pocket.
Das. I am.--Upon my soul, I feel just as if I were going to receive it for my own advantage.
All. Good soul! Well, here it is.
Enter Shopman, R.
[Puts up the money-exit Shopman, R. Das. Confound Mr. Caustic! My bankruptcy will be blown, and then
[Aside. All. Though 'tis for my own advantage, I can't bear to with my dear notes.
Das. If I have not the money directly, 'tis all up, I assure you.
All. That would be a pity,
All. (Taking out the notes again.] Why, then, there they are—but let me take leave of them--my pretty ones, good by to you; and be sure, now, you come again, with each of you a companion. One hug, and then we
Das. Now I touch to a certainty.
Enter Shopman, R.
[Exit, R. Das. Oh, the devil ! All. Stop ! (Returns the notes again into his pocket. Das. Never mind the gazette. All. We'll just take a peep at the bankrupts. Das. Here's luck again!
[ Aside. All. Ah! [Taking out his glasses.] Here they are.
Das. But don't you see there's great news.-" The following despatch was this day received by“'
All. We'll read that afterwards.
(Taking hold of the arm that holds the gazette. Ail. What's the matter? Whereas a' Das. (Interrupting him.] Ha, ha! What the devil ! 'Tis all up with you-can't you see without spectacles ? Ha, ha! Oh, then, you are dished with the girls, ha, ha!
Áll. See without them ? To be sure I can-just as well without them as with them. Bless your soul, I only use them because they are knowing.
Das. Yes; knowing enough for young men with remarkable strong eyes; but
Das. And then such a quiz of a pair as these! How you would be hoaxed! Now only see what a gig I look in them.
All. First, we'll just look at the bankrupts"Whereas"
Das. No, no-now see-[Takes the glasses and gazette from Allspice-lets fall the glasses, and, in pretending to pick them up, treads on them, and breaks them.] Zounds! I've broke them,
All. 'Tis of no consequence-they were of no use to me-thank heaven! I don't want them.
Das. But I beg ten thousand pardons. I believe you wished to look over the list of bankrupts--there they begin, you see.
[Gives gazette. All. [Pretending to read.] Oh yes, I see.
Das. Any body there particular? Any body there you know?
All. [Looking over the gazette.] Oh, no, no,a few reptiles of retailers, but none of your fine dashers like us.-Ah! they manage their matters too cleverly to let me see them here.
Das. To be sure they do. [Takes the gazette.] There I am, sure enough--what an escape! Well, now the notes-now I touch, or the devil's in't!
All. Yes, here they are. [Takes notes out again.] Stop -one-two
Das. [Adroitly snatching them.] Three--four-five. Just the sun.
(Putting them into his pocket.
Al. Oh dear. I don't like to part with them! My dear friend, I'm afraid I've given you a thousand short. Let me look at them again, will you ? Das. [Taking them out.] Certainly. No-exactly the
(Returning them to his pocket.
Enter SHOPMAN, R. Sho. Mr. Caustic, sir, is in a great hurry and in a great passion, and wants to speak to you about Miss Clementina and that gentleman's marriage.
Das. Ha, ha! here's capital luck! Go to him, my dear Toby-let it take place directly. Tell him my affairs are desperate—my love affairs, I mean.
All. Well, I will-I'll say you're a bankrupt in hope. But don't send away all the money to London at once,
Das. Certainly not depend on't, if I can help it, I'll not part with a farthing of it.
All. Oh, thank you, thank you—'tis an enormous sum-I don't know what to think.
Das. What to think !—Think of the profits. Nay, why so dull ? Where's your spirit-your life?
All. My life! you've got it in your pocket,--so pray take care of it; for, indeed, the loss of it would kill
[Exit, R. Das. Here they are! Oh, there goes Lady Sorrel in a fury. I think she looks as if she were in the gazette -I must be after her.-Well, I've done the old one, however. Bravo, my boy, Dashall! All I say is, you've justified the opinion I always had of you. (Exit, l. SCENE II.-A Garden and Hothouse.
Enter LADY SORREL, L, Lady S. How provoking! I could cry for vexation. Where is that fellow, Dashall, I wonder.
Enter DASHALL, R. Lady S. (R. C.) So, sir, you've managed matters finely. Das. (c.) I rather think I have.
Lady S. Provoking! to have that gipsy, that Julia Faulkner, in your power, and then to lose her.
Das. I could not help it.
Lady S. Yes, if you'll attend to it. I have a plan, if. you are not afraid of her
Das. Dam'me! do you think I am afraid of a woman ?
Ladj S. That villain, Tangent, has released her father from prison : but I've a scheme-stay, he's here.
Das. Then I would rather not stay. He's a despe. rate fighting fellow! [Aside.] I say, step in here till he passes.
Lady S. What! running away again?
Das. 'Sdeath! no.—But my affairs are devilish ticklish. I have not time to quarrel and kill people. Here he comes : if you don't go in, I'll give up Julia. Can't you tell me your plan there as well as here ?
Lady S. But, if we should be seen, and my cousin Caustic hear I was shut up with a man, I should be ruined.
Das. Psha! Nobody wants to ruin you. Zounds! only while he passes.
[They retire inio tle hothouse, R. V. E.
Enter TANGENT, L. Tan. (c.) That infernalhornpipe has completely ruined me with my uncle. But, be that as it may, if she will consent, Julia Faulkner shall be mine, though this spade were my only portion. And why not this spade? What can more nobly employ the exertion of man than improving the blessings Providence has sent him ? I can fancy myself seated at my cottage fire, with my Julia and thirteen children,—the equal serenity of the scene harmonizing with the tranquil
uniformity of my disposition. Happy employment! There we see the art of man even giving climate. (Pointing to the hothouse.) Eh! I thought I caught a glimpse of that hypocrite, Lady Sorrel, endeavouring to conceal herself-I suppose a hothouse suits the warmth of her disposition; if 30, she shall have it hot enough.-[Aloud.] Confound the carelessness of these rascally gardeners, leaving doors and windows open !-Cold as an ice-bouse.[Locks door.] The grapes will be sour; and I know there's a ine old sensitive plant within, that can't bear being exposed-I'll bring things forward. [During this he puts up the glass, opens the flues, and blows the fire.] Zounds! My uncle, and as furious as when I left him.