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appearing like a gentleman in the world man, it's the fact!” said the other, in a was rapidly drawing to a close, and he was low vehement tone. beginning to think of returning to the dog- “Then-say Wednesday, nine o'clock, hole he had crawled out of in the morning, A. M. You understand ? No mistake, and the shop for the rest of the week; the Fitz!” replied his companion, looking him great, the gay, and the happy folks he was steadily in the face as he spoke. looking at, were thinking of driving home “ None-honour !" —After a pause to dress for their grand dinners, and to lay “Who is it?" out every kind of fine amusement for the His companion took a slip of paper out ensuing week, and that was the sort of life of his pocket, and in a whisper read from they led every day in the week. He heav- it"Cabs, harness, &c., £197, 10s." ed a profound sigh. At that moment a “ A villain! It's been of only eighteen superb cab, with a gentleman in it dressed months' standing,” interrupted the other, in great elegance, and with a very keen and in an indignant mutter. striking countenance, came up with a cab “ Between ourselves, he is rather a sharp of still more exquisite structure and appoint- hand. Then, I am sorry to say there's a ments, in which sate a young man, evident- detainer or two I have had a hint of_" ly of consequence; very handsome, with “D-n their souls !” exclaimed the other, splendid mustachios; perfectly well-dress- with an expression of mingled disgust, ed; holding the reins and whip gracefully vexation, and hatred, and adding, "Wedin his hands, glistening in straw-colored nesday, nine”-drove off a picture of trankid gloves—and between the two gentlemen quil enjoyment. ensued the following low-toned colloquy, I need hardly say that he was a fashionwhich it were to be wished that every such able young spendthrift, and the other a sighing simpleton (as Titmouse must, I sheriff's officer of the first water—the genfear, now appear to the reader) could have teelest beak that ever was known or heard overheard.
of—who had been on the look -out for him “ Ah, Fitz!” said the former mentioned several days, and with whom the happy gentleman to the latter, who blushed scar- youngster was doomed to spend some conlet when he perceived who had addressed siderable time at a cheerful residence in him—" when did you return to town?” Chancery Lane, bleeding gold at every pore “ Last night only.”
the while;-his only chance of avoiding Enjoyed yourself, I hope ?"
which, was, as he had truly hinted, an Pretty well-but I suppose you
honourable attempt on the purses of two “ Sorry for it,” interrupted the first speak- hospitable country cousins, in the meaner in a lower tone, perceiving the vexation while, at C—'s! And if he did not sucof his companion, “ but can't help it, you ceed in that enterprise, so that he must go know."
to cage, he lost the only chance he had for “ When?"
some time of securing an exemption from “ To-morrow at nine. Monstrous sorry such annoyance, by entering Parliament to for it—'pon my soul, Fitz, you really must protect the liberties of the people—an elolook sharp, or the thing won't go on much quent and resolute champion of freedom in longer."
trade, religion and every thing else; an "Must it be, really ?" inquired the other, abolitionist of every thing, including, espebiting his lips—at that moment kissing his cially, negro slavery and imprisonment for hand to a very beautiful girl, who slowly debt-two execrable violations of the natupassed him in a coroneted chariot-mustral rights of mankind. it really be, Joe?” he repeated, turning to- But we have, for several minutes, lost wards his companion a pale and bitterly sight of the admiring Titmouse. chagrined countenance.
• Why,” thought he, am I thus spited “Poz, 'pon my life. Cage clean, how- by fortune ?—"The only thing she's given ever, and not very full
me is—nothing !” “ D-n every thing!” 6 Would no Wednesday?-_" inquired exclaimed Mr. Titmouse aloud, at the same the other, leaning forwards towards the for- time starting off, to the infinite astonishment mer speaker's cab, and whispering with an of an old peer, who had been for some miair of intense earnestness. "The fact is nutes standing leaning against the railing, I've engagements at C—'s on Monday close beside him, who was master of a magand Tuesday nights with one or two coun- nificent fortune, “with all appliances and try cousins, and I may be in condition—eh? means to boot :" with a fine grown-up fayou understand ?"
mily, his eldest son and heir having just His companion shook his head distrust- gained a Double First, and promising wonfully.
ders; many mansions in different parts of "Upon my word and honour as a gentle- England ; exquisite taste and accomplish
ment; the representative of one of the old- | night,) hurrying up to another crowd at the est families in England ; but who at that further end, he found a man preaching with moment loathed every thing and every body, infinite energy. Mr. Titmouse looked on, including himself, because the minister had and listened for two or three minutes with that day intimated to him that he could not apparent interest; and then, with a coungive him a vacant riband, for which he had tenance in which pity struggled with conapplied, unless he could command two tempt, muttered, loud enough to be heard more votes in the Lower House, and which by all near him, “ poor devil;" and walkat present he saw no earthly means of doing. ed off. He had not proceeded many steps, Yes, the Earl of Cheviotdale and Mr. Tit before it occurred to him that a friend-one tlebat Titmouse were both miserable men; Robert Huckaback-much such another one both had been hardly dealt with by fortune; as himself-lived in one of the narrow, dinboth were greatly to be pitied; and both gy streets in the neighbourhood. He dequitted the Park, about the same time, with termined to take the chances of his being at a decided misanthropic tendency.
home, and if so, of spending the remainder Mr. Titmouse walked along Piccadilly of the evening with him. Huckaback's with a truly chopfallen and disconsolate quarters were in the same ambitious proxair. He almost felt dissatisfied even with imity to heaven as his own; the only differhis personal appearance. Dress as he ence being, that they were a trifle cheaper would, no one seemed to care a curse for and larger. He answered the door himself, him; and, to his momentarily jaundiced having only the moment before returned eye, he seemed equipped in only second- from his Sunday's excursion-i. e. the handed and shabby finery-and then he Jack Straw's Castle Tea Gardens, at Highwas really such a poor devil. Do not let bury, where, in company with several of his the reader suppose that this was an unusual friends, he had “spent a jolly afternoon." mood with Titmouse. No such thing. He ordered in a glass of negus from the adLike the Irishman who “married a wife to joining public house, after some discussion, make him un-aisy;” and also not unlike which ended in an agreement that he should the moth that will haunt the brightness that stand treat that night, and Titmouse on the is her destruction; so poor Titmouse, Sun- ensuing one. As soon as the negus arrived, day after Sunday dressed himself out as accompanied by two captains' biscuits, elaborately as he had done on the present which looked so hard and hopeless that occasion, and then always betook himself they would have made the nerves thrill. to the scene he had just again witnessed, within the teeth that attempted to masticate and which once again had excited only them, the candle was lit-Huckaback handthose feelings of envy, bitterness, and de- ed a cigar to his friend; both began to puff spair, which I have been describing, and away, and chatter pleasantly concerning the which, on every such occasion, he experi- many events of the day. enced with, if possible, increased intensity. “Any thing stirring in to-day's • Flash ?'”
What to do with himself till it was time inquired Titmouse, as his eye caught sight to return to his cheerless lodgings he did of a copy of that able and interesting Sunnot exactly know; so he loitered along at a day newspaper, which Huckaback had hired snail's
pace. He stood for some time sta- for the evening from the news-shop on the ring at the passengers, their luggage, the ground-floor of his lodgings. coaches they were ascending and alighting “ Not knowing, can't say," answered his from, and listening to the strange medley of friend, removing his cigar with his right coachmen's guards' and porters' vocifera- hand, and then, with closed eyes and intions, and passengers' greetings and leave- flated cheeks, he very slowly ejected the takings—always to be observed at the smoke which he had last inhaled, and rose White Horse Cellar. Then he passed and took down the paper from the shelf. along, till a street row, near the Haymarket, " Here's a mark of a beastly porter pot attracted his attention and interested his that's been set upon it, by all that's holy! feelings; for it ended in a regular set-to be- It's been at the public house! Too bad of tween two watermen attached to the adjoin- Mrs. Coggs to send it to me in this state!" ing coach-stand. Here he conceived him- said he, handling it as though its touch were self looking on with an easy air of a swell; contamination. “ Faugh! how it stinks!” and the ordinary penalty (paying for his “What a horrid beast she must be!" footing) was attempted to be exacted from exclaimed Titmouse, in like manner expelhim; but he had nothing to be picked out ling his mouthsul of smoke. " But, since of any of his pockets except that under his belter can't be had, let's hear what news is very nose, and which contained his white in it. D_e, it's the only paper publishhandkerchief. This over, he struck into Lei- ed, in my opinion, that's worth reading ! cester Square, where, (he was in luck that Any fights a stirring ?”
“Haven't come to them yet,” replied ( inquired Titmouse, his eyes still glued to Huckaback, fixing his feet on another chair, the newspaper. and drawing the candle closer to the paper. “No-by George! Never was either of " It says, by the way, that the Duke of us fellows so precious wide awake in our Dunderhead is certainly making up to Mrs. lives before, that I'll answer for!" TitThumps, the rich Nightman's widow ;-a mouse sate still and silent, and turned very precious good hit that, isn't it? You know pale. the Duke's as poor as a rat!”
“ Read it up, Huck!-Let's hear how it “Oh! that's no news. It will quite set him sounds, and then we shall believe it!" up—and no mistake. Seen the Duke ever?" Huckaback read it aloud.
6 Yees! Oh, several times !”—This “It sounds like something, don't it?" was a lie, and Tittlebat knew that it was. inquired Titmouse, his colour a little return“D-d good looking, I suppose ?" ing.
Why-middling; I should say mid- « Uncommon !-If this isn't something, dling. Know some that needn't fear to then there's nothing in any thing any compare with him-eh! Tittlebat ?"-_and more!" Huckaback winked archly at his friend. “No!-now, do you really think so ?"
“Ah, ha, ha!-a pretty joke! But, said Titmouse, seeking further confirmation come that's a good chap! You can't be than he had yet derived from his senses of reading both of them at once-give us the sight and hearing. other sheet, and set the candle fair betwixt " I do, by -! What a go it is! Well, us! Come, fair's the word !"
my poor old mother used to say, depend Huckaback, thus appealed to, did as his on it, wonders never will cease;' and curse friend requested; and the two friends read me if she ever said a truer word!” and smoked some minutes in silence. Titmouse again read over the advertise
“ Well-I shall spell over the advertisement; and then relighting his fragment of ments now,” said Titmouse; “there's a cigar, puffed earnestly in silence for some pretty lot of them—and I've read every moments. thing else precious little there is, here, be- “ Such things never happens to such a sides! So, here goes ! _One may hear of a poor devil of a chap as me!” exclaimed prime situation, you know—and I'm quite Huckaback with a sigh. sick of Dowlas!"
“ What is in the wind, I wonder ?" mutAnother interval of silence ensued. Huck-tered Titmouse. aback was deep in the details of a trial for “ Who knows-hem!
-who knows. But murder; and Titmouse, after having glanced now really—" he paused, and once more listlessly over the entertaining first sheet read over the pregnant paragraph. “ It can't of advertisements, was on the point of lay- no, it can't be.” ing down his half of the paper, when he “What, Tit? what can't be?” interrupted suddenly started in his chair, and stam- Huckaback eagerly. mered
“Why, I've been thinking—but what do Hollo!-hollo!-Why_"
you think, eh ?-it can't be a cursed hoax “What's the matter, l'it?-eh?” inquired of the chaps in the premises at Dowlas'?" Huckaback, greatly astonished.
“ Bo!- Is there any of 'em Alush enough For a moment, Titmouse made no answer, of money, to do the thing? And how should but fixed his eyes intently on the paper, they think it would ever come to be seen which began to rustle in his trembling by you? Then, besides, there isn't a chap hands. What occasioned this eloquent among them that could come up to the comoutbreak, with its subsequent agitation, was posing a piece of composition like that,no, the following advertisement:
not for a whole year's salary--there isn't, “Next of Kin.-Important.—The next by George!" of kin, if any such there be, of Gabriel Tit- “ Ah! I don't know," said Titmouse, tlebat Titmouse, formerly of Whithaven, doubtfully. “But-honour!-do you really cordwainer, and who died somewhere about now think there's any thing in it ?" the year 1793, in London, may hear of “I do—hanged if I don't, Tit!" was the something of the GREATEST POSSIBLE IMPOR- sententious answer. TANCE to himself, or herself, or themselves, “ Tol de rol, de rol, de rol, de rol, by immediately communicating with Messrs. didl’em daddl'em-bough!” almost shoutQuirk, Garnmon, and Snap, solicitors, Saf-ed Titmouse, jumping up, snapping his finfron Hill. No time is to be lost. 9th July, gers, and dancing about in a wild ecstacy, 182-. The third advertisement."
which lasted for at least a minute. “ By George! Here is a go!” exclaimed “Give me your hand, Hucky," said he, Huckaback, almost as much flustered. almost breathless. “If I am a made man
- We aren't dreaming, Hucky, are we?" | tol de rol, lol de rol, lol de rol, lo!
you see, Huck!_ifI don't give you the hand- | now? Ah, here they are-Messrs. Quirk, somest breast-pin you ever saw! No paste! Gammon, and Snap, solicitors." real diamond! hurrah! I will, by jingo!" “I wonder if they're great ones? Did
Huckaback grasped and squeezed his you ever hear of them before ?". hand. “We've always been friends, Tit “ Haven't I! Their names is always in haven't we?” said he affectionately. this same paper; they are continually get
“My room won't hold me to-night!” con- ting people off, out of all kinds of scrapes." tinued Titmouse; “ I'm sure it won't. I * But, my dear fellow-Saffron Hill.feel as if I were swelling all over. I'll walk Low, that; low, 'pon my soul? Never was the streets all night. I couldn't sleep a wink, near it in my life.” for the life of me. I'll walk about till the shop “But they live there to be near the opens. “Oh, faugh! how nasty! Confound thieves. Lud, the thieves couldn't do withthe shop, and Dowlas, Tagrag, (especially out 'em! But what's that to you? You Tagrag,) and every thing, and every body
in know “a very dirty ugly toad has often got it! Thirty-five pounds a year! See if I won't a jewel in his belly,' so Shakspeare or spend as much in cigars the first month!” some one says. Isn't it enough for you,
“Cigars! is that your go? Now, I Tit, if they can make good their advertiseshould take lessons in boxing, to begin ment? Let's off, Tit-let's off, I say; for with. It's a deuced high thing, you may you may not be able to get there to-morrow depend upon it, and you can't be fit compa- ---your employers--". ny for swells without it, Tit!”
My employers! Do you think, Hucky, “Whatever you like, whatever you like, I'm going back to business after this ?". Hucky! I'm sorry to say it, but how pre- Suppose it all turns out moonshine.” cious lucky that my father and mother's “Lord, but I won't suppose it! It makes dead, and that I'm an only child-too-sa- me sick to think of nothing coming of it! laddy! too-ra-laddy!" Here he took such Let's go off at once and see what's to be a sudden leap, that I am ashamed to say he done!” split his trowsers very awkwardly, and that So Huckaback put the newspaper in his sobered him for a moment, while they made pocket, blew out the candle, and the two arrangements for cobbling it up as well as started on their important errand. It was might be, with a needle and thread, which well that their means had been too limited Huckaback always had by him.
to allow of their indulging to a greater ex“We're rather jumping in the dark a bit, tent than a glass of port wine negus (that aren't we, Tit?" inquired Huckaback, while was the name under which they drank the his companion was repairing the breach.- “publican's port”-i. e. a decoction of oak “ Let's look what it all means here it is." bark, logwood shavings, and a little brandy) He read it all aloud again—"greatest possi- between them; otherwise, excited as were ble importance"--what can it mean? “Why the feelings of each of them by the discovethe deuce couldn't they speak out plainly?" ry of the evening, they must in all proba
“What? in a newspaper ? Lord, Hucky! bility have been guilty of some piece of exhow many Titmouses would start up on all travagance in the streets. As it was, they sides, if there isn't some already! 'I won- talked very loudly as they went along, and der what greatest possible importance can in a tone of conversation pitched a little too mean now ?"
high for their present circumstances, how“Some one's left you an awful lot of mo- ever m unison it might be with the expectney, of course.”
ed circumstances of one of them. “It's too good to be true.”
In due time they reached the residence “Or you may have made a smile; of which they were in search. It was a you ain't such a bad-looking fellow when large house, infinitely superior to all its dinyou're dressed as you are now.” Mr. Tit- gy neighbours; and on a bright brass plate, mouse was quite flustered with the mere a yard long at least, and a foot wide, stood supposition, and also looked as sheepish as the awe-inspiring words, “ Quirk, Gamhis features could admit of.
MON, & SNAP, Solicitors." “ E-e-e-eh, Hucky! how very silly you “Now, Tit,” whispered Huckaback, afare!” he simpered.
ter they had paused for a second or two“Or you may be found out heir to some now for it-pluck up a sperrit ring !" great property, and all that kind of thing. “1-1-feel all of a sudden uncommon But when do you intend to go to Messrs. funky-I think that last cigar of yours What's-their-name? I say, the sooner the wasn't-" better. Come, you've stitched them well “Stuff, Tit-ring away! ring away!enough, now; they'll hold you till you get Faint heart never wins!" home; but I'd take off my straps if I were “Well, it must be done; so here goes, you. Why shouldn't we go to these gents at any rate!" and with a short nervous jerk
he caused a startling clatter within, which complaisant old janitrix shut the door in was so distinctly audible without, that both their faces. of them instinctively hemmed, as if to drown “Huck, I'm afraid there's nothing in it," the noise which was so much greater than said Titmouse despondingly, to his friendthey had expected. In a very few moments both of them remaining rooted to the spot. they heard some one undoing the fastenings “ Oudacious old toad!" muttered Huckaof the door, and the gentlemen looked at one back, indignantly. another with an expression of mingled ex- “ If there was any thing in it,” said Titpectation and apprehension. A little old mouse, with a deep sigh, they must have woman at length stood before them, with a made a deal of talk about it in the house: candle in her hand.
and this old thing must have heard my “Who are you?” she exclaimed, crustily. name often enough. It ain't so common a “ Is this Messrs.-what is it Huck?
-name, is it?" Oh! Messrs. Quirk & Co.'s?" inquired "1-I own I don't half like the looks of Titmouse, tapping the end of his cane it,” replied his friend, putting his newspaagainst his chin, with a desperate effort to per into his pocket again; "but we'll try if appear at his ease.
we can't write a letter to sound 'em, and so Why, where are your eyes? I should far take the old creature's advice. Here's think you might have seen what was wrote the public house she told us of. Come, on this here plate—it's large enough, one let's see what's to be done ?" could have thought, to be read by them as Titmouse, greatly depressed, followed his can read? What's your business ? " friend; and they soon provided themselves
“Wewant-Give us the paper, Hucky”- with two glasses of stout, and implements he added, addressing his companion, who for writing. That they made good use of produced it in a moment; and Titmouse their time and materials, let the following would have proceeded to possess the old epistle prove. It was their joint composiwoman of all his little heart, when she cut tion, and here is an exact copy of it:him short by saying, snappishly—“ They aren't none on 'em in; nor never is on “To Messrs. Quirk, GAMMON, AND SNAP. Sundays—so you'll just call to-morrow, if "Sir, you wants 'em. What's your names ?” “ Your Names being put in an advertise
“ Mr. Tittlebat Titmouse,"answered that ment in this present Sunday Flash, Newsgentleman, with very particular emphasis paper of to Day's Date, Mr. T. T. begs to on every syllable.
inform your respectable House I feel anxi“ Mr. Who?” exclaimed the old woman, ous to speak with them on this truly inteopening her eyes, and raising her hand to resting subject, seeing it mentions the Name the back of her ear. Mr. Titmouse repeat- of Gabriel Tittlebat Titmouse, which two ed his name more loudly and distinctly. last names of that Deceased Person my own
“Tippetitippety !-what's that?" name is, which I can any Day (as soon as
“ No, no!" exclaimed Titmouse peevish- possible) call and prove to you, by telling ly; “I said Mr. Tit-el-bat Titmouse !—Will you the Same, truly. He being Engaged that suit?"
in Business during the week very close for “ Tick-a-tick-a-tick! Well, gracious ! if the Present, I hope that if they Have any ever I heard such a name. Oh!—I see thing particular to say to Him, they will you're making a fool of me! Get off, or write to Me without the least Delay, and I'll call a constable in. Get along with please address, T. T., at Dowlas and Co.'s, you, you couple of puppies! Is this the No. 375. Oxford Street, Post-Paid, which
will ensure its being duly Taken in by my “I tell you," said Mr. Huckaback," that Employers, and am, Gents, this gentleman's name is Mr. Tittlebat Tit
“ Your's obediently, mouse; and you'd better take care what
TITTLEBAT Titmouse. you’re at, old woman, for we've come on “P. S.-My Friend, that is with me business of wital consequence.”
writing This, (Mr. Robert Huckaback,) * I dare say it'll keep till to-morrow."
can prove who I am if Necessitated to do The friends consulted for a moment, and then Titmouse asked if he might not go in “N. B.-Shall have no objection to do and write a letter to Messrs. Quirk.
the Liberal Thing if any thing suitable “ No,” said she; “how do I know who Turns up of it.
T. T. you are? There's a public house close by, where you may write what you like, and
"Sunday Evening, 971182—. bring it here, and they'll get it the first thing “ Forgot to Say, I am the only Child of in the morning. So that's what you may my Honoured Parents, who died ; before 1 take away with you!"—with which the knew them in Lawful Wedloc, and was 27