66 They say it is an argument of a licentious commonwealth, where Phisitians and Lawyers have too great comminges in but it is the surfeits of peace that bringeth in the Phisitians gaine; yet in him there is some dispatch of businesse, for if he cannot speedily cure you he will yet quickly kill you: but with the Lawyer there is no such expedition; he is all for delay; and if his tongue be not well typt with gold, he is so dull of language, that you shall not heare a comfortable worde come out of his mouth in a whole Michaelmasse Tearme: if you will unlocke his lips, it must be done with a golden fee; and that perhaps may sette his tongue at libertie to speak (sometimes) to as good a purpose as if he hadde still beene mute." He also compares the learned and liberal professions together in "Riche his Farewell to Militarie Profession," and estimates the law thus: "To become a student in the lawe, there are suche a number of theim already that he thinkes it is not possible that one of theim should honestly thrive by another; and some will saie that one lawyer and one goshauke were enough in one shire. But of my conscience, there are more lawyers in some one shire in Englande, with attorneis, solicitours, or, as they are termed, brokers of causes, or pettie foggers, than there are goshaukes in all Norwaie." "JACKE OF DOVER, His Quest of Inquirie, or his Privy Search for the Veriest Foole in England," is the title of a scarce tract published about 1600, in which I find this: "There was of late (quoth another of the jurie) a ploughman and a butcher dwelling in Lancaster, who for a trifling matter (like two fooles) went to law, and spent much money therein, almost to both their undoings; but at last, being both consented to be tride by a lawyer dwelling in the same town, each of them, in hope of a further favour, bestowed gyftes upon him: the ploughman first of all presented him a cupple of good fat hens, desiring Mr. Lawyer to stand his good friend, and to remember his suite in law; the which he courteously tooke at his hands, saying, that what favour he could show him, he should be sure of the uttermost. But now when the butcher heard of the presenting of these hens by the ploughman, he went and presently killed a good fatte hogge, and in like manner, presented it to the lawyer, as a bribe to draw him to his side; the which he also tooke very courteously, and promised the like to him, as he did before to the other. But so it fell out, that shortly after, the verdict passed on the butcher's side; which, when the ploughman had notice of, he came unto the lawyer, and asked him wherefore his two hens were forgotten? Marry,' quoth he, 'because there came in a fatte hogge and eate them up.' – 'Now a vengeance take that hog,' quoth the ploughman, 'that eate both my suite in law and hens together!'" BISHOP SHERLOCK, in his "Trial of the Witnesses," submits to a jury the Scripture account of the resurrection of Christ. The arguments on both sides are given in the form of speeches of counsel on the trial of an indictment for perjury. The jury having deliberated, 66 Fudge. What say you? Are the Apostles guilty of giving false evidence in the case of the resurrection of Jesus, or not guilty? Foreman. Not guilty. Fudge. Very well; and now, gentlemen, I resign my commission, and am your humble servant. "The company then rose up, and were beginning to pay their compliments to the judge and the counsel, but were interrupted by a gentleman who went up to the judge, and offered him a fee. 'What is this?' says the judge. A fee, sir,' said the gentleman. 'A fee to a judge is a bribe,' said the judge. True, sir,' said the gentleman; but you have resigned your commission, and will not be the first judge that has come from the bench to the bar, without any diminution of honour. Now, Lazarus's case is to come on next, and this fee is to retain you on his side.'" EARLE. Another curious book is "Microcosmographie; or, A Peece of the World Discovered in Essayes and Characters," by Dr. John Earle, Bishop of Salisbury, first published in 1628. Among the characters is "an attorney: "His antient beginning was a blue coat, since a livery, and his hatching under a lawyer; whence, though but pen-feathered, he hath now nested for himself, and with his hoarded pence purchased an office. Two desks and a quire of paper set him up, where he now sits in state for all comers. We can call him no great author; yet he writes very much, and with the infamy of the court is maintained in his libels. He has some smatch of a scholar, and yet uses Latin very hardly, and lest it should accuse him, cuts it off in the midst, and will not let it speak out. He is, contrary to great men, maintained by his followers; that is, his poor country clients, that worship him more than their landlord: and be they never such churls, he looks for their courtesy. He first racks them soundly himself, and then delivers them to the lawyer for execution. His looks are very solicitous, importing much haste and dispatch: he is never without his hands full of business; that is, —of paper. His skin becomes at last as dry as his parchment, and his face as intricate as the most winding cause. He talks statutes as fiercely as if he had mooted seven years in the inns of court, when all his skill is stuck in his girdle, or in his office-window. Strife and wrangling have made him rich; and he is thankful to his benefactor, and nourishes it. If he live in a country village, he makes all his neighbors good subjects; for there shall be nothing done, but what there is law for. His business gives him not leave to think of his conscience, and when the time, or term of his life is going out; for dooms-day he is secure, for he hopes he has a trick to reverse judgment." RUGGLE, the facetious author of "Ignoramus," has introduced some macaronic burlesques on Law Latin in that amusing play. Ignoramus himself thus recites how he will endow his mistress Rosabella : — "Si possem, vellem pro te, Rosa, ponere pellem; I think it would be fitter to read canos for ursos, if the husband were expected to pay for all this toggery. In another scene, Ignoramus, perusing a legal document, breaks out to his clerk with, "O, ho! vide hic est defaulta literæ; emenda, emenda; nam in nostra lege, una comma evertit totum Placitum." Describing the sway that Cupid has acquired over him, he says, “Primum cum amabam Rosabellam, nisi parvum, misit parvum Cape, tum magnum Cape, et post, alias Capias et pluries Capias, et Capias infinitas; et sic misit tot Capias, ut tandem capavit me, ut legatum ex omni sensu et ratione mea. Cum scribo instrumentum, si femina nominatur, scribo Rosabellam; pro Corpus cum causa, corpus cum cauda; pro noverint universi, Amaverint universi; pro habere ad rectum, habere ad lectum; et sic vasto totum instrumentum." This play, written to ridicule the Latinized English and other barbarisms of the Law, was enacted before King James, who was observed to chuckle at it. Among the actors were the gentlemen who were afterward known as Lord Hollis, the Bishop of Peterborough, the Dean of Canterbury, Earl Northampton, and Lake, Secretary of State. The ridicule was deserved, but still great men differ on the subject; for Blackstone says, “The truth is, what is called Law Latin is really a mere technical language, calculated for eternal duration, and easy to be apprehended, both in present and future times, and on those accounts best suited to preserve those memorials which are intended for perpetual rules of action. The rude Pyramids of Egypt have endured from the earliest. ages; while the more modern and more elegant structures of Attica, Rome, and Palmyra have sunk beneath the stroke of Time." |