HOW TO MAKE A TREASURER OF THE NAVY.

Take a man, composed of most of the ingredients necessary to enable him to attack and defend the very same principles in politics, or any party or parties concerned in them, at all times, and upon all occasions. Mix with these ingredients a very large quantity of the root of interest, so, that the juice of it may be always sweet and uppermost. Let him. be one who avows a pride in being so necessary an instrument for every political measure, as to be able to extort those honours and emoluments from the weakness of a government, which he had been deliberately refused, at a time when it would have been honourable to have obtained them.

HOW TO MAKE A LORD OF THE TREASURY.

Take the most stupid man you can find, but who can make his signature; and from ignorance in every thing will never contradict He should not have a you in any thing. brother in the church, for if he has, he will most probably abandon or betray you. Or, take a man of fashion, with any sort of celebrity; if he has accustomed himself to arguments, though the dullness can only be measured by the length of them, he will serve to

speak against time, with a certainty in that case of never being answered.

HOW TO MAKE A SECRETARY OF THE TREASURY.

He

Take a pleading Country Attorney, without passion, and without parts. Let him be one who will seize the first opportunity of renouncing his connection with the first man who draws him out of obscurity and serves him. If he has no affections or friendships, so much the better; he will be more ready to contribute to his own advantage. should be of a temper so pliable, and a perseverance so ineffectual, as to lead his master into troubles, difficulties, and ruin, when he thinks he is labouring to overcome them. Let him be a man, who has cunning enough, at the same time, to prey upon and deceive frankness and confidence; and who, when he can no longer avail himself of both, will sacrifice even his character in the cause of treachery, and prefer the interests resulting from it, to the virtuous distinctions of honour and gratitude.

HOW TO MAKE A SECRETARY-AT-WAR.

Take a man that will take any thing. Let him possess all the negative virtues of being able to do no harm, but at the same time can

do no good; for they are qualifications of a courtly nature, and may in time recommend him to a situation something worse, or something better.

HOW TO MAKE AN ATTORNEY-GENERAL.

Take a little ugly man, with an eye to his preferment. It is not, requisite that he should be much of a lawyer, provided that he be a tolerable politician; but in order to qualify himself for an English Judge, he should first be a Welch one. He must have docility

sufficient to do any thing; and, if a period should arrive, when power has popularity enough to make rules and laws for the evident purpose of gratifying malignity, he should be one who should be ready to advise or consent to the creation of new cases, and be able to defend new remedies for them, though they militate against every principle of reason, equity, and justice.

N.B. The greatest part of this Receipt would make a MASTER OF THE ROLLS.

HOW TO MAKE A WARDROBE-KEEPER, OR PRIVY-PURSE.

Take the most supercilious fool in the nation, and let him be in confidence in propor tion to his ignorance.

A

HOW TO MAKE A SURVEYOR-GENERAL OF THE

ORDNANCE.

Take a Captain in the Navy, as being best acquainted with the Army; he should have been a few years at sea, in order to qualify him for the direction of works on shore; and let him be one who will sacrifice his connections with as much ease as he would renounce his profession.

HOW TO MAKE A PEER.

Take a man, with or without parts, of an ancient or a new family, with one or with two Boroughs at his command, previous to a dissolution. Let him renounce all former professions and obligations, and engage to bring in your friends, and to support you himself. Or, take the Country Gentleman who the least expects it; and particularly let the honour be conferred when he has done nothing to deserve it.

HOW TO MAKE SECRET INFLUENCE.

Take a tall, ill-looking man, with more vanity, and less reason for it, than any person in Europe. He should be one who does not possess a single consolatory private virtue, under a general public detestation. His pride

and avarice should increase with his prosperity, while they lead him to neglect and des pise the natural claims of indigence in his own family. If such a man can be found, he will easily be made the instigator, as well as the instrument, of a cabal, which has the courage to do mischief, and the cowardice of not being responsible for it; convinced that he can never obtain any other importance, than that to be derived from the execution of purposes evidently pursued for the establishment of tyranny upon the wreck of public ruin.

HINTS

FROM DR. PRETTYMAN, THE COMMIS, TO THE PREMIER'S PORTER.

To admit Mr. WILBERFORCE, although Mr. PITT should be even engaged with the SOUTHWARK agents, fabricating means to defeat Sir RICHARD HOTHAM.-WILBE must have two bows. ATKINSON to be shewn into the antichamber-he' will find amusement in reading LAZARRELLO DE TORMEZ, or the complete Rogue. -If LORD APSLEY and Mr. PERCIVAL Come from the Admiralty, they may be ushered into the room where the large looking-glasses are fixed-in that case they will not regret waiting