THE

WESTMINSTER GUIDE.

PART I.

ADDRESSED TO MR. ANSTY.

POST to town, my friend ANSTY, or if

A visit in person, yet spare us your muse:

you

refuse

Give her wing, ere too late for this city's election,

Where much waits her comment, and more her correction.

What novels to laugh at! what follies to chide!

Oh! how we all long for a WESTMINSTER Guide!
First, in judgment decisive, as OTTOMAN Califf,
Aloft on the hustings, behold the HIGH BAILIFF!
But we miss from the seat, where law rests on a word,
The old symbols of justice-the scales and the sword-
As a symbol too martial the sword he discards,

So 'tis lodg'd where it suits-in the hands of the guards;
And doubting the poise of weak hands like his own,
He suspended the scales at the foot of the throne.-

Turn next to the candidates-at such a crisisWe've a right to observe on their virtues or vices.

и на

Hoop founds (and with justice to most apprehensions)
In years of fair services, manly pretensions ;

But his party to change, and his friend to betray,
By some are held better pretensions in WRAY.

For the third, if at Court we his character scan,
A dæmon incarnate is poor CARLO KHAN;
Catch his name when afloat on convivial bumpers,
Or sent up to the skies by processions of plumpers;
He is Freedom's defender, the champion of Right,
The Man of the People, the nation's delight.
To party or passion we scorn to appeal,
Nor want we the help of intemperate zeal ;
Let Time from Detraction have rescued his cause,
And our verse shall but echo a nation's applause.

But hark! proclamation and silence intreated;
The inspectors arranged-the polling clerks seated-
With Bibles in hand, to purge willing and loth,"
With the Catholic Test, and the Bribery Oath.
In clamour and tumult mobs thicken around,

*

And for one voice to vote there are ten to confound:
St. GILES's with WAPPING unites Garretteers,
HOOD and WRAY and Prerogative, PITT and three cheers!
"Tis the day for the Court-the grand Treasury push!
And the pack of that kennel well trained to the brush,
Dash noisy and fearless through thick and through thin,
The huntsman unseen, but his friends whippers-in.

Now follow fresh tribes, scarce a man worth a louse, Till put into plight at NORTHUMBERLAND HOUSE; Ten poll for one mansion, each proving he keeps it, And one for each chimney-he'll prove that he sweeps itWith these mix the great, on rights equally fables,

Great Peers from poor lodgings, great Lawyers from stables;

Ev'n the Soldier, whose household's a centinel box,
Claims a questionless franchise 'gainst Freedom and Fox;"
All dubbed and maintain'd upon influence regal

Of the new HE of Cs constituents legal.

What troops too of females 'mong'st CHARLES's
op-
posers?

Old tabbies and gossips, scolds, gigglers, and sprosers!
And Lady LACKPENSION, and Dowager THRIFTY,
And many a maiden the wrong side of fifty;
And FUBZY, with flesh and with flabbiness laden
(And in all things indeed the reverse of a maiden),
And hags after hags join the barbarous din,

More hateful than serpents, more ugly than SIN.

Thus the Bacchanal tribes when they ORPHEUS as

sailed,

Drowned his notes with their yells ere their vengeance

prevailed,

Well knowing the sound of his voice or his lyre,

Had charms to allay diabolical ire.

Our Bacchanals find a more difficult foe;

For what strains can inchant, though from ORPHEUS they

flow,

Like the orator's spell o'er the patriot mind,

When pleading to reason the cause of mankind?

Now for councils more secret that govern the plan A Calif is nothing without a DIvan.

With invisible step let us steal on the quorum,

Where MAIN WARING sits in the Chair of Decorum.
And WILMOT harangues to the brethren elect,

* On his master's commands" Carry law to effect."
"The true reading, my friends, in the jus bacculinum,
"When the FOXITES are drubbed, then imprison or

fine 'em;

"And let him who would construe th' effective still further, "Knock out a friend's brains to accuse them of murder. "I have ready some hundreds of resolute knaves, "With bludgeons well shaped into Constables' staves, "In WESTMINSTER strangers-true creatures of power, "Like the lions-ferociously nursed at the Tower †. "Do we want more support?-Mark! that band of red coats!

"Whose first service over, of giving their votes,

}

Why not try for a second-the cutting of throats! "From the SAVOY they march-their mercy all lie at, "When the Bench gives the call, and St. Js's the fiat." Thus the law of effect the wise justice expounds,

This is WILMOT's abridgment compris'd in twelve rounds; The new MIDDLESEX CODE-which treats subjects like partridge,

While the Statutes at large are cut up into cartridge.

Enough of these horrors-a milder design, Though not a more lawful one, CORBET, is thine ! The polling to close, but decision adjourn,

And in scrutiny endless to sink the return.

See the letter of the Lord Lieutenant of MI, May 8th. These strange Constables were avowedly brought from the Tower Hamlets.

Thy employers who ranged on the Treasury Bench,
For prerogative fight, or behind it intrench,

Shall boldly stand forth in support of the act,
Which they mean to restrain by law after the fact.
With quibble and puzzle that reason disgrace,
Or with impudent paradox put in its place,
They shall hold, that an indigent party's defence,
When at war with the Treasury, lies in expence;
That the part of the vexed is to cherish vexation,
And strain it through DRIPSTONES of procrastination-
These positions you'll say are indeed hypothetic--
At Court they'll be Gospel-the muse is prophetic.

* See the speech of a young orator in a late debate.

END OF THE FIRST PART.

HH 4