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use. Now, my lord, I have only this reply
KING HENRY II. to make: I am ready to go into any service, to work for my labour, if your lordship will
DESCRIBED BY GIRALDUS CAMBRENSIS, but find me a master. Why, what was the
Who accompanied him (as he afterwards reply to that? . Gaoler, take the prisoner did King John) into Ireland, A. D. 1172... away. Why who would employ him? It is really farcical. I have heard magi Henry II., king of England, was of a strates say, Young man, really I am very good colour, but somewhat red; his very sorry for you; you are much to be head great and round, his eyes were fiery, pitied; you should turn your talents to a red, and grim, and his face very high better account; and you should really leave coloured; his voice or speech was shaking, off this bad course of life. Yes, that is quivering, or trembling; his neck short, better said than done; for where is there any his breast broad and big; strong armed ; body to take these wretches? They have said his body was gross, and his belly somewhat to me; 'Sir, we do not thieve from disposi- big, which came to him rather by nature tion ; but we thieve because we cannot get than by any gross feeding or surfeiting; employment : our character is damned, and for his diet was very temperate, and to say nobody will have us :' and so it is; there the truth, thought to be more spare than is no question about it.
comely, or for the state of a prince; and yet to abate his grossness, and to remedy this fault of nature, he did, as it were,
punish his body with continual exercise, REMARKABLE EPITAPHS. and keep a continual war with himself.
For in the times of his wars, which were AT PENRYN.
for the most part continual to him, he had
little or no rest at all; and in times of Here lies William Smith: and what is somewhat peace he would not grant unto himself any rarish,
peace at all, nor take any rest : for then He was born, bred, and hang'd in this here parish. did he give himself wholly unto hunting ;
and to follow the same, he would very
early every morning be on horseback, and AT STAVERTON.
then go into the woods, sometimes into the
forests, and sometimes into the hills and Here lieth the body of Betty Bowden,
fields, and so would he spend the whole Who would live longer but she couden; Sorrow and grief made her decay,
day until night. In the evening when he Till her bad leg carr'd her away.
came home, he would never, or very seldom, sit either before or after supper; for though he were never so weary, yet still
would he be walking and going. And, At Loch Rausa.
forasmuch as it is very profitable for every Here lies Donald and his wife,
man in his lifetime that he do not take too
much of any one thing, for medicine itself, Aged 40 hee,
which is appointed for man's help and remedy, is not absolutely perfect and good to be always used, even so it befell and hap
pened to this prince; for, partly by his ON MR. BYWATER.
excessive travels, and partly by divers
bruises in his body, his legs and feet were Here lie the remains of his relative's pride, swollen and sore. And, though he had no Bywater he lived, and by water he died ;
disease at all, yet age itself was a breaking Though by water he fell, yet by water he'll rise, sufficient unto him. He was of a reasonBy water baptismal attaining the skies.
able stature, which happened to none of his sons; for his two eldest sons were
somewhat higher, and his two younger ON A MISER.
were somewhat lower and less than he was.
If he were in a good mood, and not angły, Here lies one who for med'cine would not give
then would he be very pleasant and eloA little gold, and so his life he lost;
quent: he was also (which was a thing very I fancy now he'd wish again to live,
rare in those days) very well learned; he Could he but guess how much his fun'ral cost.
was also very affable, gentle, and courte S, S. S.
eous; and besides, so pitiful, that when he
Janet Mac Fee :
And 30 shee.
had overcome his enemy, yet would he be and much oppressed his nobility. The overcome with pity towards him. In war hungry he refreshed, the rich he regarded he was most valiant, and in peace he was The humble he would exalt, but the as provident and circumspect. And in the mighty he disdained. He usurped much wars, mistrusting and doubting of the end upon the holy church; and of a certain and event thereof, he would (as Terence kind of zeal, but not according to knowwriteth) try all the ways and means he ledge, he did intermingle and conjoin procould devise, rather wage the battle. fane with holy things; for why? He would If he lost any of his men in the fight, he be all in all himself. He was the child of would marvellously lament his death, and the holy mother church, and by her ad. seem to pity him more being dead, than he vanced to the sceptre of his kingdom; and did regard or account of him being alive; yet he either dissembled or utterly forgot more bewailing the dead, than favouring the same; for he was slack always in comthe living.
ing to the church unto the divine service, In times of distress no man was more
and at the time thereof he would be busied courteous; and when all things were safe, and occupied rather with councils and in no man more cruel. Against the stubborn conference about the affairs of his commonand unruly, no man more sharp, yet to the wealth, than in devotion and prayer. The humble no man more gentle; hard to livelihoods belonging to any spiritual prowards his own men and household, but motion, he would, in time of their vacation, liberal to strangers; bountiful abroad, but confiscate to his own treasury, and assumé sparing at home; whom he once hated, he that to himself which was due unto Christ. would never or very hardly love; and When any new troubles or wars did grow, whom he once loved, he would not lightly or come upon him, then would he lavish - be out with him, or forsake him. He had and pour out all that ever, he had in store great pleasure and delight in hawking and or treasury, and liberally bestow that upon hunting :-would to God he had been as a soldier, which ought to have been given well bent and disposed unto good devo- unto the priest. He had a very prudent tion !*
and forecasting wit, and thereby foreseeing It was said, that after the displeasure what things might or were like to ensue, grown between the king and his sons, by he would accordingly order or dispose the means and through the enticing of the either for the performance or for the prequeen their mother, he never was account- vention thereof; notwithstanding which, ed to keep his word and promise, but, many times the event happened to the cona without any regard or care, was a common trary, and he was disappointed of his exbreaker thereof. And true it is, that, of a pectation : and commonly there happened certain natural disposition, he was light no ill unto him, but he would foretell thereand inconstant of his word; and if the of to his friends and familiars. matter were brought to a narrow strait or He was a marvellous natural father to pinch, he would not stick rather to cover
his children, and loved them tenderly in his word, than to deny his deed. And for their childhood and young years; but they this cause, in all his doings, he was very being grown to some age and ripeness, he provident and circumspect, and a very was as a father-in-law, and could scarcely upright and severe minister of justice, al brook any of them. And, notwithstanding though he did therein grieve and make his they were very handsome, comely, and friends to smart. His answers, for the noble gentlemen, yet, whether it were that most part, were perverse and froward. he would not have them prosper too fast, And, albeit, for profit and lucre all things or whether they had evil deserved of him, are set to sale, and do bring great gains, as
he hated them; and it was full much well to the clergy as the laity, yet they are against his will that they should be his no better to a man's heirs and executors, successors, or heirs to any part of his inthan were the riches of Gehasi, whose heritance. And such is the prosperity of greedy doings turned himself to utter ruin man, that as it cannot be perpetual, no and destruction,
more can it be perfect and assured : for He was a great peace-maker, and careful why ?—such was the secret malice of forkeeper thereof himself; a liberal alms- tune against this king, that where he should giver, and a special benefactor to the Holy have received much comfort, there had he Land; he loved humility, abhorred pride, most sorrow; where quietness and safety
—there unquietness and peril; where peace • Giraldus here alludes to his quarrel with Thomas there enmity; where courtesy-there in
gratitude; where rest—there trouble. And
whether this happened by the means of Dr. Northleigh in 1702, are applicable in their marriages, or for the punishment of almost every particular to the same towns the father's sins, certain it is, there was no at the present day; so comparatively stagood agreement, neither between the father tionary has Holland been, or so averse are and the sons, nor yet among the sons them the people to changes. selves.
That fuel should be scarce and dear in But at length, when all his enemies and Amsterdam, the capital of a country destithe disturbers of the common peace were
tute of coal-mines, and growing very little suppressed, and his brethren, his sons, and wood, might be expected ; but, surrounded all others his adversaries, as well at home and intersected by canals as the city is, it as abroad, were reconciled; then all things is surprising that another of the necessaries happened and befell unto him (though it of life, pure water, should be a still scarcer were long first) after and according to his commodity: yet such is the case. There own will and mind. And would to God is no water fit for culinary purposes in he had likewise reconciled himself unto Amsterdam but what is brought by boats God, and by amendment of his life, had in from the Vecht, a distance of hifteen miles ; the end also procured his favour and and limpid water is brought from Utrecht, mercy! Besides this, which I had almost more than twice that distance, and sold in forgotten, he was of such a memory, that the streets by gallon measures, for table if he had seen and known a man, he would use, and for making of tea and coffee, * pot forget him: neither yet whatsoever he had heard, would he be unmindful thereof. And hereof was it, that he had so ready a memory of histories which he had read, and a knowledge and a manner of experience in all things. To conclude, if he had
For the Table Book, been chosen of God, and been obsequious and careful to live in his fear and after his laws, he had excelled all the princes of the
IF NOT RHYME.
'Till you have pence enough to pay
And leave a mite for quarter-day. AMSTERDAM WITHOUT WATER.
Beside chair, table, and a bed, An amusing and lively account of this
Those need, who cannot live on air, capital, its public institutions, society,
Two plates, a basket for the bread,
And knives and forks at least two pair. painters, &c. may be found in a smali volume, entitled “ Voyage par la Hol
When winter rattles in the sky lande,” published by a French visitant in
Drear is the bed that wants a rug, 1806. This is probably the most recent sketch of Amsterdam. -With the exception,
And hapless be whose purse is dry of the conversion of the stadt-house into a
When sickness calls for pill and drug. king's palace, and the establishment of certain societies, its general aspect and cha So, Bess, we'll e'en put off the day racler have undergone little change for a For parson C-to tie us fast
Who knows but luck, so long away, century past; insomuch that “ Le Guide d'Amsterdam," published by Paul Blad in May come and bide with us at last ? 1720, may be regarded as forming a correct and useful pocket-companion at the pre
Hope shall be ours the tedious while; sent day. The descriptions given of the
We'll mingle hearts, our lips shall join ; Dutch towns by Mr. Ray in 1663, Dr. I'll only claim thy sweetest smile, Brown in 1668, Mr. Misson in 1687, and Only thy softest tress be mine.
* Extracted (from lord Mountmorris's History of the Irish Parliament, vol. i. page 33, et infra) by * THE VEILED SPIRIT,"
• Horticultural Tour,
Since the introduction of candles, luxury
has increased. Our forefathers rose with St. Mark's Eve.-IN CHANCERY, Ale the lark, and went to bed with the sun. gust 2, 1827. In a cause, “Barker v. Ray," a deponent swore, that a woman, named
INDICATIONS OF THE STATE-PULSE. Ann Johnson, and also called “Nanny Nunks,” went to the deponent, and said to
A jolly farmer eturning home in his her, “ I'll tell you what I did to know if I
own waggon, after delivering a load of could have Mr. Barker. On St. Mark's
corn, is a more certain sign of national night I ran round a haystack nine times, prosperity, than a nobleman riding in his with a ring in my hand, calling out, Here's chariot to the opera the playhouse. the sheath, but where's the knife?' and, when I was running round the ninth time,
OVERWISE AND OTHERWISE. I thought I saw Mr. Barker coming home; but he did not come home that night, but A man of bright parts has generally more was brought from the Blue Bell, at Bevere indiscretions to answer for than a blockley, the next day.”.