outside is spoken to, and you have the double annoyance of expectation and of hearing a whispering sound in which you have no part; or it may be a sudden noise-something carelessly let fall; or something forgotten to be done, which you had particularly wished or desired: or, some one suddenly touching you, or your bed, or shaking the bed continually whilst sitting by it; or coming into your room. unexpectedly, and in a bustle. These, or a thousand other things, too small to name, but not too small to feel, may have caused a sudden expression of irritability. You may have been exerting yourself beyond your strength-the last bit of strength may have been spent, it seems to you, just as this new demand for it came upon you. It was too much—you failed. It might be a mere physical expression of nervous suffering, and not counted as sin by Him who is "very pitiful." But your friends can rarely distinguish. How should they? for can you always, in your own case, distinguish between these things which seem so much alike? No, surely you cannot; therefore do not count them unreasonable or unkind if they reprove you-it is a proof of true love in them, for it is often an unthankful task. See to it that it is not so in your case. The effort to repress irritability sometimes gives a pained expression to the voice and the a countenance which is easily misunderstood, and therefore should be brought under control as much as possible. Sick persons who are seeking to "bring every thought into captivity," will seldom utter an irritable word, perhaps scarcely think an irritable thought, without an instant consciousness of it. O then, what a conflict follows! What is this sin cleaving to me still? Is it not yet subdued? Must I suffer from it for ever? How long shall I go on to dishonour my Lord and Master, and to be so unlike Him who "did no sin, neither was guile found in his mouth?" b Have all my struggles been a lie? Have all my prayers been in vain, and unheard? No; they have not been in vain-they have all been heard, and are answered hour by hour. He "puts your tears into His bottle. Are they not in His Book?"c "He tells your flittings," and He it is that has so often, that does each moment that you are upheld, "keep you from falling." It is by His grace that you are kept so often; and if you do but "hold you fast by God,"e you will less and less frequently slide. He will "keep the door of your lips,"f that they may not transgress against Him. But have you not also prayed Him to "humble you, and prove you, a 2 Cor. x. 5. b 1 Pet. ii. 22. • Ps. lvi. 8. f Ps. cxli. 3. and show you what is in your heart?"a And is not this the fulfilment of your prayer? You need to be shown some of the evils of your heart. Do not then be out of heart when you see them; but ask Him, whensoever He conducts you into the "chambers of his imagery,"b always to go there with you Himself, lest you should be overwhelmed with the vision. Be careful to look upon your irritable words as spoken before GOD: "Against Thee, Thee only have I sinned;" otherwise the vexed feeling of having done a wrong thing before a fellow-creature, will but minister to your pride. Do not be out of heart, and think that all your efforts have been in vain. Do not be fearful, and anxious about the future: "Humble yourself under the mighty hand of God, and in due time He shall lift you up; casting all your care upon Him, for He careth for you."d God knows the intensity of the suffering which irritability causes, especially when it is produced by the state of the nerves, or by great weakness. A tone of voice which sounds almost fretful, belongs, it is thought, to some states of illness. Certain it is, that sick people very often indulge in a fretful tone of voice, until it becomes quite a Deut. viii. 2. b Ezek. viii. 12. a 1 Pet. v. 6, 7. habitual; and most certain it is, that it can be resisted to a great extent, and can be almost, if not quite, overcome. It is most important for the health, both of mind and body, not to yield to it at all, but to cultivate instead, a cheerful, calm, thankful tone. At the same time it must be admitted, that there are states of suffering which do affect the voice, and even, in some cases, give it a sharpness, which is physical, and unavoidable; but it is the habitual tone that is here meant, and sick persons are apt to indulge in a tone, which they fancy belongs to illness. As a general rule, if you find that your voice has an unnatural tone, try earnestly to subdue it; by this means you will soon discover whether it is under your control. Discontent quickly betrays itself by the voice, and countenance, and manner. Sick people should not look upon themselves as privileged to indulge in any wrong thing, whether by word or by deed. Their state gives them no exemption from conflict, rather they are set in the midst of it; and also, are set where they can see the more clearly what is sinful, because they are in a position in which, if they use it rightly, all gloss and excitement is removed from themselves, and from all the objects upon which they look. III. IMPATIENCE. PERHAPS impatience may manifest itself. It may be impatience of contradiction, not bearing any opposition to your will. You may desire something, perhaps, which may be very unreasonable, or inconvenient, or even impossible. Would you wish that your friends should treat you like a spoiled child, and at all risks grant your desire? Does it not show more true kindness gently to oppose, or even to deny you what you have asked? Will you not be grateful to them afterwards, for having been the means of revealing to you your selfishness and waywardness? Or, you may have been impatient because some one differed in opinion from you; as if there were no possibility of your being mistaken, or of there being two points of view from which the same thing may be seen. Sick persons who live much alone are in great danof falling into this snare. They frequently live in a world of their own, and have become so used to their own opinions, and views, and pictures of all things, that they forget that there can be any others, and are perhaps perplexed and worried by them. But this kind of isolation is very injurious to them, and they should be thankful to hear differences of opinion. Or, ger |