monly ends in the mortgage of another eftate; or inevitable ruin, which fometimes impels them headlong into the abyfs of Suicide! It must be very gratifying to the moralist, to behold the coaches of the great vulgar drawn up in a line before the front of a place, where the baby minds of the owners are contented to pafs an hour in beholding the dexterity of a modern Katterfelto. An obferver might long ramble through London before he could find the opulent or the fashionable spending their time in morning vifits to a workhoufe-No, no; let the parifh-officers attend to thofe vulgar matters. Perfons of refined manners would rather encourage the most frivolous or abfurd fpecies of impofition; or, like the victims of St. Vitus's Dance, caper themselves into a fever at a masked ball. SATYRICUS. THE THE HEART. [From the fame.] 'HE heart is the thread upon which commonly depend thofe finer traits that mark our characters, and generally form an excufe for the good or evil actions of our lives. What is the reafon that Lefbia, a virgin once blooming in innocence, has eloped from her family and friends, and facrificed her fair fame at the fhrine of illicit love? The wanderings of her heart were the, caufe; but furely we ought to pardon faults inftigated by a heart too tender and fufceptible. Why is Melfort, the fpendthrift, precipitated from the pinnacle of fortune and refpectability into the gulf of poverty and mifery? His liberal heart has caufed his ruin; pretended friends, taking advantage of his open unfufpicious temper, have deceived him; and as he has invariably confulted his heart in preference to his reafon, he has diffipated the inherit ance r ance of his ancestors,, and is now reduced to the most abject ftate of dependance. How unfortunate the poffeffion of a heart too incautious!-What can excufe the imprudence of Flavia, a young widow, who counts in her train feveral favoured lovers? Her grateful heart! Her admirers have done all in their power to confole her for the lofs of her hufband; and her heart, fo fufceptible, has granted them, in return, the laft favour as a proof of gratitude. What can poffibly induce Gripewell, the ufurer, to proffer fo eagerly his fervices and his purfe? He will tell you, his liberal heart inftigates him to lend money at exorbitant intereft; that his tender heart cannot refift your folicitations; and that his benevolent heart, in order to refcue you from diftrefs, fwallows up and devours the whole of your fortune!-What produces fo many jealous quarrels in the happy ftate of wedlock? The affectionate hearts of both parties, who are mutually jealous of a réciprocity of attention.-What conducts young Melicourt fo rapidly to preferment? The heart of his wife, who, in return for the powerful fupport he experiences, fhews her gratitude to his patrons, in the only way they expect or request.Can any thing be urged in extenuation of the criminality of Julia, a young wife, who, though adoring and adored by her hufband, yet encourages the addreffes of Mercator, an old man of immenfe riches, and whofe perfon fhe detefts? Yes! the tendernefs of her maternal heart. She will tell you, that the generofity of this antiquated admirer enables her to educate her children, and that the attachment which her heart nourishes for her husband compels her to neglect nothing which may tend to extricate him from his difficulties. Oh! what an inexhaustible fource of riches to the husband is a wife, who, to the attractions of youth and beauty, joins the poffeffion of a tender, fufceptible, and, above all, a grateful heart! MR. EDITOR, LONDON CHARITY. [From the fame.] AMONG other amiable traits of humanity for which the people of this vaft capital are celebrated, their charity is the most prominent and remarkable. Were a demonftration of this truth required, we need only mention the numerous and capacious afylums for the ck, the aged, the unfortunate, and the vicious who wifh to be reclaimed; bat the best criterion of the public fentiments may be obtained from the most univerfal topic; and that in London, next to money, is the miferies of the poor! What pathetic orations are daily delivered on this fubject in the coffechoufes, tap-rooms, nay, and the workshop of the artifan! The gormandizing cit, while he feafts in the tavern, and at once regales his palate with food, and his noftrils with the rich effluvia of roaft beef, yenifon, and turtle, at intervals lays down his knife and fork, and, with a most dejected look, expatiates on the ftarving condition of the poor. When he has vented his fpleen by this evacuation of humanity, he again grafps his blade, like a hero who had paufed to take breath, and with a heavy figh, interrupted by a belch, refumes his hard talk of devaftation. The powdered coxcomb, who has fubfifted for years on his credit, and wishes to appear at once charitable and a man of confequence, rails at monopolifts, ftatelmen, war, and other evils, which have been productive of mifery to the poor. Yet this contemptible reptile muft feel confcious that the retailer of matches or ballads is much richer than himfelf. In fhort, every body feems difpofed to fympathize with thofe beings who are denominated the poor, a elafs of the community proverbially wretched, but which it would puzzle a philofopher to difcover. Afk a vender of fruit, or a green-grocer's wife, who are the poor? and the will tell you with a mild look of felf-complacency, that the believes there are a vast number of that defcription in the parifh of St. Giles; but, thank Heaven, though taxes are high, the believes there is nobody in her genteel neighbourhood who can be confidered as poor. Go to St. Giles's, and you will fee a number of people ragged enough indeed; but if poverty be accompanied with mifery, there are none of them poor, for, perhaps, a merrier clafs does not exift in this variegated community. Nay, it is very queftionable whether the gaming-tables of the fashionable world, or their masked balls, are productive of more odious depravity than the halfpenny card-parties and fixpenny hops of the lame and blind, who affemble nightly in St. Giles's, to eat, drink, and be merry. Perhaps this exceffive charity, this feeming fympathy for the miferable, which daily affails our eyes and our ears in every public company, is in reality a kind of intellectual medicine, or detergent of the spleen, which enables men to vent their mutual difcontents without any pernicious effect. Affected charity may be called the conductor which conveys the lightning of the fulminating orator's eloquence to that grand repofitory of dulnefs, the circumambient fumes of tobacco and porter. This happy expedient to relieve the labouring breaft of the patriot, and" purge his bofom of the perilous fuff that weighs upon the heart," is in reality a preventive of innumesable bickerings between individuals who univerfally fympathize with the miferies of the poor! Thus, as the kings of Europe formerly kept a fool to be the general butt of ridicule, fo the word poor is bandied about in London, difowned by every individual, and rendered the butt of public fympathy. F 5 SATYRICUS. A BUCK A BUCK PARSON'S APOLOGY FOR NON WIT RESIDENCE. [From the fame.] ITH a benefice blest, I refolv'd to enjoy And in harmless amufements my moments employ I don't like to chide my dear flock for their faults, My larder and cellar engage moft my thoughts, 'Tis better than fcolding the Devil. At Christmas and Eafter, indeed, I appear, Exhorting my charge to repent; Then I fealt on the farmer's nice ham and strong beer, Like a bird on the wing, thence to Brighton away And his ears must be good that shall hear me once pray, To London, in winter, rejoicing I hie, To fhare the delights of the town; And you 'd fwear, from the spirit that beams in my eye, With a taste so refin'd, pray how could I endure Among my parishioners, vulgar and poor, Faith, I know life too well e'er to vegetate thus; Let me afk fome reformers who make fuch a fufs, G. THE |