WITH a benefice bleft, I refolv'd to enjoy
The various pleasures of life, s

And in harmless amusements my moments employ
With my true-hearted friends and my wife.

I don't like to chide my dear flock for their faults,
'Tis fo unpolite, nay uncivil;

My larder and cellar engage moft my thoughts, 'Tis better than scolding the Devil.

At Christmas and Eafter, indeed, I appear,

Exhorting my charge to repent;

Then I fealt on the farmer's nice ham and strong beer,
To prove my abhorrence of Lent.

Like a bird on the wing, thence to Brighton away

I hafte, to be loft in the throng;

And his ears must be good that fhall hear me once pray,
Must be deaf that can't hear my loud fong.

To London, in winter, rejoicing I hie,
To fhare the delights of the town;"

And you 'd fwear, from the spirit that beams in my eye,
That I never yet wore a black gown.

With a tafte fo refin'd, pray how could I endure
To live in the country fecluded;

Among my parishioners, vulgar and poor,
While inceffantly clod-pates intruded ?

Faith, I know life too well e'er to vegetate thus;
I'll live in the world while I may;

Let me ask fome reformers who make fuch a fuss,
How they 'd like both to watch and to pray

G.

THE

THE MOCK PARSON.

A TALE.

[From the Morning Poft.]

NOT twenty miles from Charing Crofs
Is feen an elevated fteeple,

Nigh which all loving, willing people,
(If they have money for the fees)
Ne'er for a Parfon need be at a lofs,
But may get married if they please,
It happen'd in an evil hour

A man came there (no matter whence),
Who, unordain'd, took prieftly pow'r,
To fwindle" Peter of his pence.'

Thus once a wolf, the heathens fabled,
In fleecy garb got to a fold,
And at his leifure was enabled

To prey on mutton young and old.
Could we the fecrets of all folds difclofe,
We ftill might fee fome wolves with greedy jaws.
There many a lifeless corpfe was hurried
To the mock Parfon to be buried;
And numbers flock'd to his fam'd altar,
To tie themfelves in Hymen's halter;
Among the reft there came one day
Young Patrick with his sweetheart Nancy,
And when night came he with her lay-
What follow'd any one may fancy.
The honey moon was not quite spent,
Ere the mock Parfon was detected,
And all his impious tricks diffected.
Of those he married fome did choose
To tie afresh the flacken'd noose ;
But Pat his bargain did repent,:.

And to confult a brother Teague
Concerning his unlucky league,
Soon as he heard the story, went.
His brother Teague had loft a wife,
Whom the faife Priest had lately buried;

The honeft fellow's haple's life

The fcolding vixen long had worried :

But let us his finale trace,
Adagio he'll advanée,
(His practice being thorough base)
And in a chord will dance.

J. B.

(VIRTUS TUTISSIMA CASSIS.

(Virtue is the fecureft helmet.)

Upon feeing the abové motto on a Lady's carriage, a'wag wrote these lines:

BY

Y this grave Latin motto, of honour the boast,
Do you hope to recover the fame you have loft?
Or is it o'er Envy or Truth to prevail,

That

you boast on your head what you loft by your tail?

EPIGRAM.

WHAT epithets, exclaims a clown,

To womankind belong! .

Some are call'd Women of the Town,
Some, Ladies of the Ton.

སྙ་ ་ 7

The diff'rence it is hard to trace,

Though diff'rence ftill there's fome;

1

The W boldly one difplays,

The other plays it mum.

J.B.

EPITAPH ON A TAILOR.

HERE

ERE refts a form, once like a man's
In colour, shape, and feature; MO
Whofe measures, promifes, and plans,
Were guided by good-nature.

Though fashion prefs'd his daily cares,
From Saturday till Monday;
In a new fuit he faid his pray'rs,

At church, fometimes, on Sunday.
But Death, that nothing human fpares,
In petticoats or breeches,

At last stole on him unawares,
And nipt his vital stitches !

Dromore.

EPITAPH

ON A JOCKEY AT NEWMARKET.

T.S.

BENEATH the green fod, in this fport-loving-place,
A Jockey lies fnug who has run a good race;
Till his wind being gone, and by death being croft,
At last he's come in the wrong fide of the poft.

CHIFFNEY.

CHARACTER OF A JACOBIN.

A JACOBIN's picture is eafy to draw,

He can't bear to obey, but will govern the law;
His manners unfocial, his temper unkind,
He's a rebel in conduct, a tyrant in mind.
He is envious of thofe that have riches and power,
Difcontented, malignant, implacable, four;

Never happy himself, he would wish to destroy
The comforts and bleffings which others enjoy. Q.L;

EPIGRAM.

YOUR comedy I've read, my friend,

And like the half you pilfer'd beft;

But you might still the matter mend—
Take courage, man, and steal the rest.

ON THE FACULTY OF PHYSICIANS.
BOUT the fymptoms how they difagree! 1
But how unanimous about the feel! sound buih

A

ON

FOR

ON SIR WILLIAM

OR HIS he fays HIS'N; and you, in return,
When fpeaking to him, are fure to fay HERNE!

Quiz.

ON A CONCEITED STOCKBROKER.

WHAT is that thing that chatters, grins, and stares?

Why, that, dear Sir, 's a monkey among bears.

EPIGRAM ON A JOLLY HOSTESS.

S Suet and Bannister, men of renown,

AS

'Stroll'd into an alehouse a few miles from town,

A landlady, bigger than any run puncheon,

Set before 'em a very fine tongue for a luncheon;

"What a tongue he has got!" cries Dick, with fome d--ns : "Tis large," replies Charley," and fo are her bams!"

TIM. TICKLER.

ADDRESSED TO THE large AND BEAUTIFUL MISS N. ON BEING SEEN AT A LOTTERY-OFFICE.

IF

By Mr. Moore.]

in wedlock a fpecies of lottery lies,
Where in blanks and in prizes we deal;
How comes it that you, fuch a capital prize,
Should fo long have remain'd in the wheel?
If ever by Fortune's indulgent decree,

To me fuch a ticket should roll,

A fixteenth, I fwear, were fufficient for me,
For what could I do with the whole ?

MODERN SONNET!

TO AN OLD WIG.

HAIL thou! who lieft fo foug in this old box?
With facred awe I bend before thy fhrine!

Oh! 't is not clos'd with glue, nor nails, nor locks,
And hence the bliss of viewing thee is mine.