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( 106 ) , :A BUCK PARSON'S APOLOGY FOR NON

*1!!;..' RESIDENCE. 1

[From the fame.] WITH a benefice bleft, I refolv'd to enjoy

The various pleasures of life,
And in harmless amusements my moments employ

With my true-hearted friends and my wife.
I don't like to chide my dear flock for their faults,

'T is so unpolite, nay uncivil;
My larder and cellar engage most my thoughts,

T is better than scolding the Devil.,
At Christmas and Easter, indeed, I appear,

Exhorting my charge to repent;
Then I fealt on the farmer's nice ham and strong beer,

To prove my abhorrence of Lent.
Like a bird on the wing, thence to Brighton away

I haste, to be lost in the throng;
And his ears must be good that shall hear me once pray,

Must be deaf that can't hear my loud song.
To London, in winter, rejoicing I hie,
To share the delights of the town ;-

'd swear, from the spirit that beams in my eye,
That I never yet wore a

black

gown.
* With a taste so refin'd, pray how could I endure

To live in the country secluded;
Among my parishioners, vulgar and poor,

While inceffantly clod-pates intruded?
Faith, I know life too well e'er to vegetate thus;
I'll live in the world while I

may; Let me ask fome reformers who make such a fuls, 74: How they 'd like both to watch and to pray? G.

And you

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7

THE MOCK PARSON.

A TALE.

[From the Morning Poft.]
NOT

twenty miles from Charing Cross
Is seen an elevated steeple,

Nigh which all loving, willing people,
(If they have money for the fees)
Ne'er for à Parson need be at a loss,

But may get married if they please,

It happen'd in an evil hour
A man came there (no matter whence),

Who, unordain'd, took priestly pow'r,
To swindle Peter of his pence.
Thus once a wolf, the heathens fabled,

In fleecy garb got to'a fold,
And at his leisure was enabled

Το prey on mutton young and old.
Could we the secrets of all folds disclose,
We still might see some wolves with greedy jaws.
There many a lifeless corpse was hurried
To the mock Parson to be buried;
And numbers flock'd to his fan'd altar,
To tie themselves in Hymen's halter ;,

Among the rest there came ove day
Young Patrick with his sweetheart Nancy,

And when night came he with her lay-a
What follow'd any one may fancy.
The honey mood was not quite spent,

Ere the mock Parfơn was detected,

And all his impious tricks diffected.
Of those he married fome did choose
To tie afresh the sacken'd noose;
But Pat his bargain did repent,

And to confult a brother Teague

Concerning his unlucky league,
Soon as he heard the story, went.
His brother Teague had lost a wife,

Whom the falle Priest had lately buried;
The honest fellow's hapless life
2. The scolding vixen long had worried ;

110

EPIGRAM.
But let us his finale trace,

' 1
Adagio he'll advance,
(His praétice being thorough base)

And in a chord will dance.

J. B.

1 (VIRTUS TUTISSIMA CASSIS.

(Virtue is the securest helmet.)

BY

Upon seeing the above motto on a Lady's carriage, a'wag wrote these lines; Y this grave Latin motto, of honour the boast,

Do you hope to recover the fame you have loft? Or is it o'er Enyy or Truth to prevail

,, That you boat on your head what you loft by your tail?

1
...?

EPIGRAM.
WHAT epithets, exclaims a clown,

To womankind belong!.
Some are callid Women of she Town,

Some, Ladies of the Ton,
The diff'rence it is hard to trace,

Though diff'rence still there's some; ?
The W boldly one displays,
The other plays it mum.

J.B.

EPITAPH ON A TAILOR.
HERE
ERE refts å form, once like a man's

In colour, shape, and feature; O
Whose measures, promises, and plans,

Were guided by good-paturę.
Although no feaman, still on board;

II
No traveller, yet

nimble
His table was with cabhage stor’d, '.
And beef, earn'd by his thimble

Though

Though fashion pressd his daily cares,

From Saturday till Monday;
In a new suit he said his pray'rs,

At church, sometimes, on Sunday.
But Death, that nothing human spares,

In petticoats or breeches,
At last tole on him unawares,

And /nipt his vital Aitches!
Dromore.

T.S.

EPITAPH
ON A JOCKEY AT NEWMARKET.
BENEATH the green fod, in this sport-loving-place,

A Jockey liés snug who has run a good race;
Till his wind being gone, and by death being croft,
At last he's come in the wrong fide of the post.

CHIFFNEY.

CHARACTER OF A JACOBIN. A JACOBIN’s pi&ture is easy to draw,

He can't bear to obey, but will govern the law; His manners unsocial, his temper unkind, He's a rebel in conduct, a tyrant in mind. He is envious of those that have riches and power, Discontented, malignant, implacable, four; Never happy himself, he would wish to destroy The comforts and bleffings which others enjoy. Q.Li

EPIGRAM.
YOUR comedy I've read, my friend,

And like the half you pilfer'd best;
But

you might ftill the matter mend-
Take courage, man, and steal the rest.

ON THE FACULTY OF PHYSICIANS.
ABOUT the symptoms how they difagree!

But how unanimous about the feel!> is stá cone's

ON

ON SIR WILLIAM
FOR
OR urs he says His'n, and you, in return,
When speaking to him, are sure to say HERNE!

QUIZ

ON A CONCEITED STOCKBROKER. WHAT is that

thing that chatters, grins, and stares ? Why, that, dear Sir, 's a monkey among bears.

EPIGRAM ON A JOLLY HOSTESS. A

S Suct and Bannister, men of renown,

Stroll'd into an alehouse a few miles froni town, A landlady, bigger than any ruin puncheon, Set before 'em a very fine tongue for a luncheon ; “ What a tongue she has got !” cries Dick, with some d--ns: “T is large," replies Charley," and so are her bams!

Tim. TICKLER.

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ADDRESSED TO THE larze AND BEAUTIFUL MISS N. ON
BEING SEEN'AT A LOTTERY-OFFICE.

By Mr. Moore.]
IF

in wedlock a fpecies of lottery lies,

Where in blanks and in prizes we deal;
How comes it that you, such a capital prize,

Should so long have remaind in the wheel?
If ever by Fortune's indulgent decree,

To me such a ticket should roll,
A fixteenth, I swear, were fufficient for me,

For what could I do with the whole ?

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MODERN SONNET:

TO AN OLD WIG.

H

TAIL thou! who, lieft so snug in this old box;

With facred awe I bend before thy fhrine ! Oh! 't is not clos’d with glue, nor nails, nor locks,

And hence the bliss af viewing thee is mine,

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