SIR, From fatanical malice or fury ; They harmly mock The heroes and heroines of Drury! BIRTHDAY FASHIONS. [From the Lady's Monthly Museum.] HAFIZ. I WAS in company with a large party of old and young of both fexes, a few weeks ago, where the accounts of the birthday fafhions, and new carriages, as given in the newfpapers, furnished a topic of converfation. The young ladies were defcanting very learnedly and fluently upon the fuperior novelty and richnefs of Lady By's drefs, when an elderly gentleman, remarkable for nothing fo much as an old-fashioned ftiffness and pedantry in all his notions, took up the matter very fhort, and inquired of a lady who fat near him, "Where, after all, was the ufe, or the real dignity, of thefe frivolous diftinctions of external fhow, unknown to the beft ages of antiquity?" Perceiving one of the company to fmile, the old gentleman went on to remark," How oddly it would found, if we fhould read in fome contemporary journal of the Roman hiftory, that Yefterday, being the anniversary of the building of the city, Cornelia (the famous mother of the Gracchi) appeared at court, and prefented her fons to the Confuls--he looked remarkably handfome, and was dreffed in a body and train of yellow fatin, trimmed with black and filver, Vandykes, and lace; petticoat yellow fatin, spotted with filver, loofe drapery of the fame, and filver Vandykes; head'drefs a tiar of diamonds on purple velvet, and a beau•tiful bird of Paradife feather, faftened with a diamond 'far!'." The The whole company could no longer refift, but downright fell a-laughing at the oddity of the old gentleman's illuftration. He, no way "difcouraged, as a man that loved to hear himfelf talk, went on-"Or if we fhould read in an old Roman newspaper, Advices 'from Africa ftate, that as foon as the event of the 'battle at Pharfalia was known, Cato convened a full 'fenate at Utica; Marcus Torranus fported a new and 'very elegant town chariot on the occafion, hung on Polignac fprings and long braces, painted a beautiful garter blue, and ornamented with plated mouldings, &c. Morocco fquabs all round the infide, fpring cur'tains, compafs perch carriage to correfpond; the whole very neat, and highly varnished and polished; exe'cuted under the direction of the Hatchetti, in the "Jugerum Longum'." The models of antique virtue (he ended with faying) would have difdained to divide their hard-earned glory with tailors, fempftreffes, and harnefs-fanciers. The company beginning to look grave (as no doubt tired with this unfeafonable difplay of learning), a merry wag took up the fubject, and infifted upon it, that there was great reafon and emblematical meaning couched under a birthday drefs; that every part of it contained elegant allufions to the virtues and excellencies of the female character. According to his fyftem, "a rich buff fatin petticoat, trimmed with gold at the bot tom, indicates conftancy to the laft; a white crape petticoat is purity; body and train of the fame, denote an unchanging mind; fnail trimmings teach the flow advances which it becomes a lady to indulge in her lover; gold foil in ZIG-ZAG firipes typifies that amiable capricioufnefs, which is fo becoming in fome of the fex, as ftripes of leopard velvet allude to thofe agreeable blemishes in their conduct, which are not fo much fpots as beauties; feathers fignify a light heart, and cornutopias a merry one; Vandyke laurels and wreaths fup pofe pofe a tafte for painting and the fine arts, which no accomplished lady can be without-laftly, birds of Paradife plumes obviously point to the divine attractions of ladies; while a profufion of jewels and diamonds calls the attention of prudent admirers ftill more forcibly to the earthly attractions of their miftreffes." In this manner, Mr. Editor, he was pleafed to turn all the component parts of a birthday drefs into fhadows and allegories. I, for my part, have always confidered the gorgeous fhow and finery, which cuftom has prefcribed upon that day, as a mannerly, loyal, and proper tribute to the beft of fovereigns. Ceremony is but a fmall thing at beft; but if the ufages of nations have conftituted that as a poor payment for the cares and fatigues of royalty, let it cheerfully and good-humouredly be paid. I am, Sir, your humble fervant, A FRENCH BEAU. [From the Oracle.] TURK's pantaloon, a Dutchman's ftocking, Hungarian cravat round the throat, The Roman wig, an English coat, With ftrutting air fo fierce and spunky, Compofe a Paris beau (or monkey); Whence it appears, without the leaft fineffing, JOHN BULL. BON TON. [From a Paris Paper entitled, "L'Obfervateur des Spectacles."] WHAT is Bon Ton? Is it an obfervance of eftablished cuftoms? Is it the modus in rebus prefcribed by Horace? The Ton of people of fashion? Who Who are the people of fashion? Is a play, written. agreeably to Bon Ton, to be pronounced a good one? Are wit, talents, and genius, comprifed under that denomination? Such are the queftions which naturally prefent themfelves to all who follow a theatrical career. Bon Ton is the rage in defpifing it, one might compofe an excellent work; but in conforming to it, one is more certain of fucceeding with an indifferent piece. During the ten years that I have heard talk of Bon Ton, I have not been able to difcover either its refidence, or of what it confifts. I have feen men of Bon Ton without wit, education, knowledge, or tafte. It does not therefore confift of wit, tafte, or talent! I have known ton-ish women to decide on every fubject without understanding any; and to find fault with Moliere for obfcene and grofs allufions, whilft, in their private circles, they would indulge in broad and indecent inuendos. By Bon Ton, therefore, we are not always to understand decency. We used formerly to fay-" the ton of genteel com-` pany." This phrafe was a fufficient definition. The word company has become obfolete; fociety has been its fubftitute. The latter is now feldom ufed; but one bears an inceffant repetition of Bon Ton : it is therefore poffible for Bon Ton to exift without either good company or good fociety. It is generally acknowledged that Moliere's plays are of the worst ton. It is however not yet proved that they are confequently bad; but ton-ish plays are not therefore to be deemed good ones. Neither tragedy nor comedy are agreeable to Bon Ton; therefore Bon Ton does not confift of what makes us laugh or cry. What then are we to understand by Bon Ton ? I expect that ton-ish people fhall write plays; that they fhall be well conftructed; have a good deal of the vis comica; that they fucceed well; and that, at each theatre, the critics of the pit do judge by the rules of Bon Ton. We fhall then, Mr. Editor, enter on a new career, and erect a theatre of Bon Ton on the ruins of the prefent. I ONE OF YOUR SUBSCRIBERS. INSTRUCTIONS TO MEN OF TON. MY LADS! [From the Oracle.] ADDRESS myself to you familiarly, becaufe I am well aware that any ftyle in the least refembling ceremony, or even common politenefs, would be voted a bore, and fubject the writer to the contempt of your whole fraternity. Hard is the talk, Herculean is the labour I have undertaken! What? Inftruct a Man of Ton! a being of a fuperior order, who, difdaining the petty rules by which fociety is linked and connected, boldly foars above all reftraint, and creates an empire of his own, fubject to no law but his fovereign will and pleasure! However, I do not wifh to convert you to orderly members of the community; but merely give you fome hints by which you may attain the fummit of Ton : 1ft. You must entirely divest yourself of seeing and bearing: tafting and smelling will establish your fame as connoiffeurs in wines and fauces; and as to feeling, the bailiffs are in fuch conftant habits of exercising that sense, that I fear you must be content to retain it. 2d. Whenever you enter a mixed company, affume the most abfent air; and if it fhould be afferted that your dearest and most intimate friend had fhot himfelf, exclaim with furprife, "Indeed! Well, I always faid that curfed ratafia would kill the old girl." 3d. Never fall in love, as it would create an agita |