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niony, it is agreed upon, by the contracting parties, that no worse words than, My dear! and similar terms of amity, shall pass between them.

VII. Mr. Fribble is not to swear, nor Mrs. F. to affect falling into a fit any more.

VIII. Mrs. Fribble shall be free to go to any place of public amusement, and return home at any hour the pleases, without being subject to interrogation from her husband.–Agreed, provided the does not disturb his repose on her return.

Laitly, That the friends of the contracting parties be invited to a grand ball and supper given in celebration of this happy event.

Signed by the names of the parties, and sealed with a chaste kiss of reconciliation.

Nov, 6.

CONSEQUENCES OF THE PEACE.

[From the Morning Herald.] MR, EDITOR, IT has been suggested to me, that there are certain

consequences to be apprehended from peace, which have not yet entered into your consideration; and I cannot express those consequences better, , or more briefly, than in the words of a lively lady of my acquaintance, who complains, or rather dreads, that we fhall now have nothing to talk about.--Such an effect as this, you must allow, would be truly deplorable; for it is impossible to conceive a worse state of society than that in which men and women have nothing to talk about. I know not whether war, famine, and pestilence, would occasion more mischief than this general injunction of filence. Nevertheless, I cannot help being of opinion, that the fears of the party who expect this consequence from the peace are ill-founded; and will, I trust, be agrecably disappointed. I can well remember that the same apprehenfions were en

tertained

2

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CONSEQUENCES OF THE PEACE.

tertained at the close of the American war; yet two years after that event, I was assured by the faculty, that complaints of the lungs were as common as ever ; and that a number of very worthy quiet gentlemen had become deaf in consequence of domicític vociferation, which had not been at all affected by the definitive treaty. When I look round this metropolis, I can see no symptoms of an approaching scarcity of subjects of conversation. We may not have so much Jacobinism to guard against, but we are likely to have the usual proportion of crin. con. which is a subject of great conversation.' We may not hear of bloody battles; but, I trust, the usual number of duels will be regularly served up, as many gentlemen will have a considerable surplus of courage left, which must be put to some use; and this surely will be worth talking of. I don't despair too of some extraordinary matrimonial junctions, matters which every body talks about, because every body understands them better than the parties themselves. Elopements too from private houses and boarding-schools--why should it be thought that they will decrease, seeing that there will be no decrease of circulating libraries, and other materials necessary to equip young people for Gretna Green? But what is with me a very powerful argument in proof that peace will not be attended with taciturnity, is, that we are entering upon terms of amity and friendfhip with the French, a whole nation of talkers, I am confident, that the addition to our talk will be immense from this very circumstance; and that we fhall learn to talk faster, which will enable us to discuss a greater pumber of subjects in a given time. But, laitly, let me observe, that they who were apprehenfive of a decrease of conversation, seem not to advert to “the genuine and most approved” principles of conversation. If it were the custom, as fome think it once was, for people to talk only what they under-,

ftood,

ftood, I should be in daily terror of finding some one or other of my acquaintance struck dumb;

but as the very reverse is the eftablished order, I cannot see the least reason to apprehend a defeat in the parts of speech. *The faculty of talking about matters one does not understand, has been cultivated with great afsiduity; and I think past experience may convince us, that with re{pect to politics, and perhaps religion, it has been brought to great perfection by our reforming societies and clubs. As, therefore, talkers are not interrupted by conscious ignorance, and as we have no right to command a man to be filent merely because he has nothing to say, I hope our fears on this head will be al layed, and I shall be happy if the few remarks here thrown out may contribute to that happy effect.

PEREGRINE PRATTLE. P.S. I hear that a diffolution of Parliament will take place in the spring. Will not that be worth talking about? Such an event has been generally thought to be conducive to jaw-work in every sense of the word, and particularly in that sense which we call nonsense.

DILEMMA OF CLUBS.

[From the Oracle.] MR. EDITOR, I PRESUME you very well know that a congderable

proportion of the good people and honest tradesinen of the metropolis, are divided into societies and clubs, in which they meet nightly in taverns and publichouses. Almost every street has a little fenate of this description, and the privilege of fitting in council over the affairs of the nation, and a pot of porter, has long been claimed by free Britons, and acknowledged by all adminiftrations.

In thefe clubs, the conversation, as you must know, or have heard, turns chiefly on the politics of the

day:

C3

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DILEMMA OF CLUBS.

day: every man who has attended to his shop, morning and afternoon, considers it as his duty to close the slay with a pipe, a pot, and the affairs of Europe, but especially of his own country; and ministers of state are frequently called to a pretty severe account for their transactions, which they bear with a patience that I lhould wonder at, if I did not consider that they are out of hearing. The qualifications which entitle a man 10 rate his betters, and ttep so rapidly from the counter to the privy council, are perhaps fewer and more easily attained in this country than in any other. They confift not in any extraordinary share of wisdom or fagacity; frequently it is not necessary even to be able to read with accuracy. All that I can find indir pensable is, that “every man pays for what he calls for.;" and a very sensible man will not be listened to, if he has a leng fcore.

The great ufe of these clubs is for relaxation after the fatigues of the day. After the toil and trouble of weighing qut groceries, &c. it is a relief both to body and mind to discuss those affairs which are carrying on in cabinets and parliaments; and during the war, refighting a battle was an amusement which sent many a worthy tradesman home exceedingly refreshed, and ready for his pillow; and it was to little purpose that councils were held, and fenates afsembled, unless their: proceedings were ratified at the Horse and Groom, or the Goose and Gridiron.

Another use of these clubs, to some worthy citizens of London, was by way of relaxation of another kind

a fort of armistice from domestic war; and the reafon why some men are of a domestic turn, is often the reason why others are not so, namely, that " they had a wife at home.” But I do not insist on this as being a very general cafe. It may be mere fcandal. I am rather inclined to think that these clubs had their rise originally in the blunders of generals who com

manded

manded armies, or of ftatefmen who were appointed to

govern nations.

But I am running into a panegyrie on clubs, when I mean quite another matter. The purport of my letter was to represent to you, that fince this tinie twelve. month, when a change of ministry took place, and particularly since October, when the news of peace arrived, the great politicians and orators of these elubs

are quite at a stand. Such chops and changes, such contufion of ins and outs, such furmises of oppositiviz verned into ministries and ministries turned into oppo. fitions, have nonpluffed us all to such a degree, that the president dare scarce venture to call for a toast, or propose any of the accustomed healths, 'for fear he thould be drinking to somebody that it is no longer worth while to drink to. In our club we used to have a majority, as usual, on the ministerial fide, and a small minority on the other. But of late we are all fo confounded, that we know not what to drink, or where to look for a bumper; and it is but a few nights ago that a member, formerly in opposition, seized the poker and stirred the fire, although that has been for the last eighteen years the inalienable privilege of a Pitt's man.

But what is still worse in this alarming uncertainty, not half the quantity of liquor is drank, and the tobacco trade falls off amazingly. Indeed, no man has any thing to say now which he would wish to back with a bottle; and our friends and favourites being, as a body may fay, neither in nor out, neither here nor there, no man offers at the heel of the evening to be his shilling for a fresh bowl; and for some months past, several of our dryest members have flunk off when their pint was out, for want of a reasonable excuse for an overtaker. Even the deputy, a famous sitter up, and generally the last to depart, declares, “ he will smoke just one pipe”-and keeps his word. I have known

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