mony, it is agreed upon, by the contracting parties, that no worfe words than, My dear! and fimilar terms of amity, fhall pafs between them.

VII. Mr. Fribble is not to fwear, nor Mrs. F. to affect falling into a fit any more.

VIII. Mrs. Fribble fhall be free to go to any place of public amufement, and return home at any hour the pleafes, without being subject to interrogation from her husband.-Agreed, provided she does not disturb his repofe on her return.

Laftly, That the friends of the contracting parties be invited to a grand ball and fupper given in celebra tion of this happy event.

Signed by the names of the parties, and fealed with a chafte kifs of reconciliation.

Nov. 6.

CONSEQUENCES OF THE PEACE.

MR. EDITOR,

[From the Morning Herald.]

IT has been fuggefted to me, that there are certain confequences to be apprehended from peace, which have not yet entered into your confideration; and I cannot exprefs thofe confequences better, or more briefly, than in the words of a lively lady of my acquaintance, who complains, or rather dreads, that we fhall now have nothing to talk about.-Such an effect as this, you must allow, would be truly deplorable; for it is impoffible to conceive a worse ftate of fociety than that in which men and women have nothing to talk about. I know not whether war, famine, and peftilence, would occafion more mifchief than this general injunction of filence. Neverthelefs, I cannot help being of opinion, that the fears of the party who expect this confequence from the peace are ill-founded, and will, I truft, be agrecably difappointed. I can well remember that the fame apprehenfions were en

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tertained

tertained at the clofe of the American war; yet two years after that event, I was affured by the faculty, that complaints of the lungs were as common as ever; and that a number of very worthy quiet gentlemen had become deaf in confequence of domeftic vociferation, which had not been at all affected by the definitive treaty. When I look round this metropolis, I can fee no fymptoms of an approaching scarcity of fubjects of converfation. We may not have fo much Jacobinifm to guard against, but we are likely to have the ufual proportion of crim. con. which is a fubject of great converfation. We may not hear of bloody battles; but, I truft, the ufual number of duels will be regularly ferved up, as many gentlemen will have a confiderable furplus of courage left, which muft be put to fome ufe; and this furely will be worth talking of. I don't defpair too of fome extraordinary matrimonial junctions, matters which every body talks about, becaufe every body understands them better than the parties themfelves. Elopements too from private houfes and boarding-fchools-why fhould it be thought that they will decreafe, feeing that there will be no decrease of circulating libraries, and other materials neceflary to equip young people for Gretna Green? But what is with me a very powerful argument in proof that peace will not be attended with taciturnity, is, that we are entering upon terms of amity and friendship with the French, a whole nation of talkers, I am confident, that the addition to our talk will be immenfe from this very circumftance; and that we fhall learn to talk fafter, which will enable us to difcufs a greater number of fubjects in a given time. But, laftly, let me obferve, that they who were apprehenfive of a decrease of converfation, feem not to advert to "the genuine and most approved" principles of converfation. If it were the cuftom, as fome think it once was, for people to talk only what they under-.

stood,

flood, I fhould be in daily terror of finding fome one or other of my acquaintance ftruck dumb; but as the very reverfe is the eftablished order, I cannot fee the leaft reafon to apprehend a defect in the parts of fpeech. The faculty of talking about matters one does not underftand, has been cultivated with great affiduity; and I think paft experience may convince us, that with refpect to politics, and perhaps religion, it has been brought to great perfection by our reforming focieties and clubs. As, therefore, talkers are not interrupted by confcious ignorance, and as we have no right to command a man to be filent merely because he has nothing to fay, I hope our fears on this head will be allayed, and I fhall be happy if the few remarks here thrown out may contribute to that happy effect.

PEREGRINE PRATTLE. P.S. I hear that a diffolution of Parliament will take place in the fpring. Will not that be worth talking about? Such an event has been generally thought to be conducive to jaw-work in every fenfe of the word, and particularly in that fenfe which we call nonfenfe.

I

MR. EDITOR,

DILEMMA OF CLUBS.

[From the Oracle.]

PRESUME you very well know that a confiderable proportion of the good people and honeft tradefinen of the metropolis, are divided into focieties and clubs, in which they meet nightly in taverns and publichoufes. Almoft every ftreet has a little fenate of this defcription; and the privilege of fitting in council over the affairs of the nation, and a pot of porter, has long been claimed by free Britons, and acknowledged by all adminiftrations.

In thefe clubs, the converfation, as you must know, or have heard, turns chiefly on the politics of the day:

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day every man who has attended to his fhop, morning and afternoon, confiders it as his duty to clofe the day with a pipe, a pot, and the affairs of Europe, but efpecially of his own country; and minifters of ftate are frequently called to a pretty fevere account for their tranfactions, which they bear with a patience that I fhould wonder at, if I did not confider that they are out of hearing. The qualifications which entitle a man to rate his betters, and ftep fo rapidly from the counter to the privy council, are perhaps fewer and more eafily attained in this country than in any other. They confift not in any extraordinary share of wisdom or fagacity; frequently it is not neceffary even to be able to read with accuracy. All that I can find indifpenfable is, that "every man pays for what he callsfor;" and a very fenfible man will not be listened to, if he has a long fcore.

The great ufe of thefe clubs is for relaxation after the fatigues of the day. After the toil and trouble of weighing out groceries, &c. it is a relief both to body and mind to difcufs thofe affairs which are carrying on in cabinets and parliaments; and during the war, refighting a battle was an amufement which fent many a worthy tradefman home exceedingly refreshed, and ready for his pillow; and it was to little purpofe that councils were held, and fenates affembled, unless their proceedings were ratified at the Horfe and Groom, or the Goofe and Gridiron.

Another ufe of thefe clubs, to fome worthy citizens of London, was by way of relaxation of another kind

a fort of armiftice from domeftic war; and the reafon why fome men are of a domeftic turn, is often the reafon why others are not fo, namely, that "they had a wife at home." But I do not infift on this as being a very general cafe. It may be mere fcandal. I am rather inclined to think that these clubs had their rife originally in the blunders of generals who com

manded

manded armies, or of ftatefmen who were appointed to govern nations.

But I am running into a panegyric on clubs, when I mean quite another matter. The purport of my letter was to reprefent to you, that fince this time twelvemonth, when a change of miniftry took place, and particularly fince October, when the news of peace arrived, the great politicians and orators of thefe clubs are quite at a ftand. Such chops and changes, fuch confufion of ins and outs, fuch farmifes of oppofition irned into miniftries and miniftries turned into oppofitions, have nonpluffed us all to fuch a degree, that the prefident dare fcarce venture to call for a toast, or propofe any of the accustomed healths, for fear he hould be drinking to fomebody that it is no longer worth while to drink to. In our club we used to have a majority, as ufual, on the minifterial fide, and a small minority on the other. But of late we are all fo confounded, that we know not what to drink, or where to look for a bumper; and it is but a few nights ago that a member, formerly in oppofition, feized the poker and stirred the fire, although that has been for the laft eighteen years the inalienable privilege of a Pitt's man.

But what is still worfe in this alarming uncertainty, not half the quantity of liquor is drank, and the tobacco trade falls off amazingly. Indeed, no man has any thing to fay now which he would with to back with a bottle; and our friends and favourites being, as a body may say, neither in nor out, neither here nor there, no man offers at the heel of the evening to be his fhilling for a fresh bowl; and for fome months paft, feveral of our dryeft members have flunk off when their pint was out, for want of a reasonable excufe for an overtaker. Even the deputy, a famous fitter up, and generally the last to depart, declares," he will fmoke just one pipe"-and keeps his word. I have known