fofter and more elegant affections of their nature. The only cards they wish to receive from the hands of their lovers, are fuch as have paid duty to his Majefty; and they never long for a heart, except when hearts are trumps. A man's carriage, according to them, depends entirely upon the tatte of his coachmaker; his air, upon the skill of his perfumer; and the fcience of his furveyor determines the goodness of his views. But, Sir, I boldly ftand up for the honour of my fex, and maintain that they are not in fault; they only return indifference for indifference, and are venal by imitation. My own fenfibility remains unhardened by neglect; but are ordinary women to be expected to figh, and whimper, and mope, when no pains are taken to pleafe, to footh, and to flatter them; when their charms excite neither rapture, ecftafy, nor madnefs; and inftead of angels and goddeffes, to be approached by thofe who would gain their favour with bumble folicitation and reverential awe, they are confidered as goods and merchandife, of which their fathers, as merchants, have "the fole ownership, difpofition, and control."-Where is the devotion which beauty once commanded?-The whole opinions, feelings, paffions, and purfuits of the other fex feem to be changed. Inftead of being the flaves of a miftrefs, men are all flaves to a minifter; they wish to have a place at Court, inftead of the heart of a young lady; to our arms they prefer those of the peerage, and they defire to form no contracts, except with the Victualling Board. Ours is not the cabinet that great men now wifh to enter, and the garters of St. George alone engrofs their attention. Yes! Mr. Editor, if the men were all Damons, every woman would be a PHILLIS. JOCULARITY JOCULARITY UNSUCCESSFUL. MR. EDITOR, [From the Oracle.] AM a lover of fun; but, unluckily, although my whole life has been a jeft, yet many of my pranks have been attended with the moft ferious confequences. In my younger days, happening to kill a favourite cat belonging to a fuperannuated aunt, and the old Tabby dying foon afterwards, I loft all chance of my legacy. I once habited myself in a white fheet, merely by way of laughing at the terrors my ghoft-like appearance would excite in a nervous neighbour; but the joke was carried fo far, that I was happy to get off by paying a fwinging bill to the apothecary. A friend lending me his horfe for a day, I kept it for a month, only to divert myfelf with his perplexity,, and ran a very near chance of being tried for horfeftealing. Thinking it would be the drolleft thing on earth to fet a whole family afleep, I lately adminiftered a copious dofe of laudanum to the good people where . I lodge; but, being detected, I was foundly threflied by the males, and inceffantly fcolded by the females. I am the beft-tempered fellow alive; but am continually engaged in broils and difturbances; for I find that though many perfons enjoy the recital of a joke, nobody likes to be made the fubject of one; the confequence, therefore, of my unlucky propenfity is, that I have jefted away all my friends and acquaintances; for whenever I fpeak, I am fufpected of romancing; and wherever I attempt to vifit, I am never admitted, left I fhould turn the company into ridicule; yet fo deeply am I infected with the joking-mani, that it was but laft night I hazarded my neck, in leaping out of the one pair of ftairs window of a 0 2 houfe, houfe, where I had concealed myfelf for the purpose of difcovering if an old mifer was afraid of thieves, inftead of which he purfued me with a blunderbufs. I have run in debt for the joke's fake, and been arrefted in earneft-laughed at a man with the greatest good-humour, and been knocked down with the greatest good-will. In fhort, the age is a very dull age, and either does not understand, or make fufficient allowance for the brilliant eccentricities of August 14, 1802. Yours, FRANK WHIMSEY. REMARKABLE DEATH. [From the Morning Poft.] ON N Tuefday evening, the 29th ult. at feven o'clock, Mr. Parliament, of Parliament Street, Westminfter, was launched into eternity, pursuant to his fentence. The execution took place at the Gazette Office, near Gough Square, and was very thinly attended, confidering the notoriety of the fufferer, The fpectators confifted chiefly of newfmen and hornboys; the latter of whom announced the event by the blowing of their horns, as they hawked about his dying fpeech. It is not for the indulgence of idle curiofity, or to harrow up the feelings of his family and friends, that we now proceed to a history of his life, death, and parentage. The hiftorian is above the influence of fuch contemptible motives; and in his biographical sketch of public characters, diftinguished by their virtues or their vices, confults only the caufe of truth and the benefit of pofterity. In the prefent inftance he muft feel lefs delicacy in fpeaking freely of the deceafed, than in almoft any other cafe of an untimely end. Whether from fome conftitutional defect, a pliability of temper which expofed them to be easily Jed aftray by evil counsellors, or the influence influence of unlucky ftars, few of the Parliament family have ever died a natural death. As, then, the conduct of the late gentleman was no better than that of his ancestors, nobody expected that he would meet a better fate, He has been repeatedly charged to his face, and under his own roof, with corruption, with breach of truft, with oppreffion, and violation of public and private rights, and continued during his whole exiftence an object of jealoufy and fufpicion. In fairnefs, however, we fhall difmifs all general charges, and ftate only fuch of his actions as are notorious, undoubted, and fpecific. Upon his first entrance into public life, and the poffeffion of his honours, titles, and eftates, he became an acceffary after the fact to an invafion of the money of the people, of which he was the hereditary guardian. If, in the catalogue of his numerous duties, there was any one more facred than another, it was that of keeping a tight hand and a watchful eye upon the public purfe, and yet he not only connived at the act, but actually juftified the man who had clandeftinely cọnveyed it into the pocket of the Emperor of Germany, In conjunction with the fame gang who committed this offence, he was fhortly after found aiding, abetting, and affifting, in an attack upon the Bank, tying up the hands of the directors, making a paper-mill of the mint, and not leaving them a fingle guinea to pay their debts. Under various pretences, he took the money of his Majefty's fubjects, wherever he could get at it; and if any body complained, he was thrown into Cold Bath Fields prifon, as a Jacobin and traitor. He enabled the Minifter of the Crown to deprive the fubject of the benefit of trial, and to imprifon him at pleafure. He took away the right of petition by public meetings, and, having thus gagged and muzzled the people, he threw new fhackles over the liberty of the prefs. Not content with acting 0 3 thus thus at home, he joined in a quarrel abroad, and abetted an affault, accompanied with bloodshed and battery, upon one of our oldest friends and neighbours. To crown all, he ftopped the courfe of the law, and refcued from juftice all the principals, agents, and inftruments, in thefe various fcenes, by a bill of indemnity, to the evil example and encouragement of future delinquents.--Whether it was for all or any of thefe offences that Mr. Parliament was condemned to die, we cannot fay, as the proceedings against his life were carried on in the Privy Council, and not in a public court of record. Neither can we collect any thing of the precife charge from the fentence, which only ftates generally, that it was "expedient" to rid the world of him. The culprit neither pleaded, nor faid any thing in his defence; but whether he ftood mute from obftinacy, or the vifitation of God, we are alfo ignorant. The Council deliberated, we understand, only a few minutes on his cafe before it came to a final decifion. His Majefty then figned the death-warrant, and, from the expedition with which it was carried into effect, we may prefume there was not the flightest ground for the interference of the royal mercy. The advocates of Mr. Parliament have attempted to palliate many of his exceffes upon the plea of neceffity, in confequence of a law-fuit bequeathed to him by his predeceffor. True it is, that his predeceffor had commenced a fuit agaiuft Madame Republique de la France; but Mr. Parliament's title to his eftates was totally independent of his father, and he was under no obligation to acceptthe legacy, or to administer to his will. Mr. Parliament, however, not only retained the fame counfellors, but he profecuted the fuit with increased zeal, and rejected many overtures and opportunities of accommodation which his predeceffors never enjoyed. The old mode of trial by battle was the mode pur fued, |