apply the remedy? Is it the intention of the French Government to make application to Mr. Addington, that he would order the writers in newfpapers to be dieted, that he would prefcribe a regimen fuited to political fpeculation, and that he would enjoin us more women and lefs beef? This, I apprehend, must be the confequence of this important difcovery, or it has been made in vain ; and yet I am doubtful whether the change will be very acceptable to the editors. For my own part, who am only an occafional correfpondent, I might be content to write to you only on banyan days, and fpeculate upon kingdoms and republics on no better foundation than chicken-broth, or veal, wine and water: but, were I to purfue this regimen, I am afraid I fhould too foon come to that standard of infipid and taftelefs writing which our neighbours have eftablished on wood fires and "frank females ;" which certainly are things to keep a man down, and to prevent that nutritious ftyle and rich argument which comes from the round of beef and the Smoking firloin. However, Mr. Editor, as this is a matter in which you are principally concerned, I fhall leave the confideration of it entirely to yourself. If the law paffes, I have made up my mind-I retire directly from all concerns of the pen. If I am to make facrifices, it fhall not be for fuch an order of things as I perceive now on the continent; nor fhall I envy that man either his taste or his principles who would give up a leg of mutton for the beft republic now in Europe. I fay again, Mr. Editor, you may do as you please -if you choose to write on foup maigre and macaroni, be it fo: but I confefs, that, after having been fo many years an admirer of your paper, and, from the ftrength and manliness of your reafoning, had caufe to refpect your butcher, your coal-merchant, and your brewer, I hould be forry-forgive my freedom (I have juft finished 5 finifhed a rump-fteak)-forgive my freedom, Sir, but I thould really be forry to fee your columns diminished, and frogs hopping among your paragraphs. What fteps Mr. Addington may think proper to take, the next Parliament will fhew; but as newfpaper fpeculations are frequently founded on what paffes in that auguft affembly, I prefume he will find it neceffary, by a folemn act, to overhawl the coffee-houfe larder, and expel thofe vile beef-fteaks and mution-chops, which incline fome members to take freedoms with the facred character of the Confular government. In whatever way this refpectable Minister may think proper to treat the fubject, it must have very important confequences on the country at large, by fufpending the functions of Smithfield market, and putting an entire ftop to the Newcastle trade, which we foolishly thought provided us with feamen, whereas the learned author of the Clef du Cabinet clearly proves that it is only a nursery for paragraphs. In lieu of thofe two branches of trade, however, the commerce between the fexes will be promoted, as every perfon who can drive a quill will be enjoined to keep a feraglio of "witty, decent, and frank females," that he may know from them the respect due to the French government. I fhall now, Sir, take my leave of this fubject, and of the exercife of my pen. I am too old to change my habits and principles. I was born to ox-beef and liberty; and I will not part with fo much as a drop of gravy to please the Clef du Cabinet. My country owes her ftrength to the firm fibres of the buttock and firloin. The conftitution was indeed lately in the hand of a fet of cooks, who prefented it in very unpleasant fhapes, fometimes done too much and fometimes too little. But yet, if we make a joint concern of it, we fhall long enjoy it with a true and focial relish. Let us not then, to please the palled appetites of our neighbours, mince, and hafh, and fricaffee our Magna Charta Charta, that great baron of beef which has hitherto fed us and nourished us.-But if, in compliance with our new reformers, the revolutionifts of the kitchen and the coal-hole, we muft either abstain from writing or from eating, my choice is made; I will eat my pudding, and hold my tongue. I am, Sir, yours, A BEEF-EATING BRITON. Dolly's, August 17, 1802. CURIOUS EXTRACT FROM LA BRUYERE. LA Bruyere, the Theophraftus of France, has the following moft fingular, and, at this period, appofite character, in his Chapter on Judgments, Vol. iii. Paris edition, year 1700. "Shall I hear of nothing among you, but what you call war, cavalry, infantry, memorable fiege, grand day? Is the world now divided into regiments, troops, and companies? Are men formed into batta. lions and fquadrons? You have, above all, among you a little pale-faced man, who has not ten ounces of flesh upon his frame, and whom a breath is fufficient to knock down. Now this little fellow makes more noife than any four men. He has put the world in a blaze, and fished up a mighty nation to himfelf, while the water was muddy. In fome places, it is true, he was obliged to take to the bogs, and make his escape through the deferts *. He early evinced what he could do, for he bit the breaft of his tender nurse †、 In fine, he was born a fubject, and he is now no longer one; on the contrary, he is fupreme lord and mafter; and thofe whom he has vanquished, and placed under the yoke, go and till the field without repining. These Are there any bogs or deferts from St. Jean d'Acre to Cairo ? enflaved enflaved people feem even to apprehend their emancipation, for they have lengthened their chain, as well as the whip which puts them in motion; they do not omit any circumstance which can tend to enflave them; they affift him in reducing others to flavery-they ftop at nothing. People beyond the waters, and people on this fide of them, club together for the purpofe of poffeffing him entirely, and making him more formidable to them. The Pits, the Saxons, may boaft of being his most humble flaves; nay, there are fome, I do not mean fuch as have coronets, for the earth fwarms with them, but princes and fovereigns, who crouch to him!!! They come to this pale little man the very inftant he whistles to them for that purpose: they take off their crowns long before they appear in the prefence-chamber, and they do not open their lips until they are spoken to. Are these the princes, the potentates, who are fo punctilious, fo devoted to etiquette, and who fpend whole months in regulating ceremonies in their diet ?" THE VISION OF MELZAR. From the 4th Chapter of the 2d Book of Accidents. 1. HEAR, O heavens, and give ear, O earth! 2. In the forty-fecond year of the good king, behold, a vifion,came unto me, and I found Maherfhalalhafbaz had established himself upon the throne of Capeta. 3. The kings of the earth, and all the nations, fent wife men with prefents, frankincenfe, and favoury odours to the mighty Man of War, and bowed themselves down unto the earth in his prefence. 4. Now at the command of Maherfhalalhafbaz, all the prefidents, the counfellors, the captains, the fcribes, the courtiers, and the governors of provinces confulted confulted together, to establish a royal ftatute, and to make a firm decree: 5. So they came unto him, and faid unto him, Now, O mafter, establish the decree, and fign the writing that it be not changed. 6. Wherefore, Mahershalalhafbaz figned the writing and the decree. 7. And he answered unto the prefidents, counfellors, the captains, the fcribes, the courtiers, and the governors of provinces, and faid unto all people, nations, and languages, that dwell in all the earth, Order, equality, and juftice, be multiplied unto you: 8. I thought it good to fhew the figns and wonders that the high God hath wrought toward me. 9. How great are his figns, and how mighty are his wonders ! 10. He hath appointed me judge over all nations, for there is a time for all things; 11. There is a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up. 12. I have communed with mine own heart, faying, Lo! I am come to great eftate, and have gotten more wisdom, than all they that have been before me; yea, my heart hath great experience of wifdom and know ledge. 13. Now all the wife men exceedingly marvelled at the words of Mahershalalhafbaz, and cried out, Q king, live for ever! 14. Then Maherfbalalhafbaz being proclaimed king, fent to gather together the princes, governors, and the captains; the judges, the treafurers, the counsellors, the fheriffs, and all the rulers of the provinces, together with all the fair damfels, to come on the fifteenth day of the month on the birth-day of the king, to the dedication of the golden image, which the king had set up. |