mob, that, from the oppreffion exercised by your verfary's party, he is afraid to speak out.

ad

Procure an exact lift of fuch electors as are henpecked; and afcertain if their wives are partial to tea, drefs, or cherry-brandy.

Exhauft every term of reproach in abufing prifons; as it is probable that many of your friends may have very strong reafons for difliking them.

When you are laft on the poll, pretend to be endowed with the gift of prophecy; and pofitively predict that you fhall be firft to-morrow.

As "mufic is the food of love," fatisfy the affections of your friends with marrow-bones and cleavers. In cafe your carriage be drawn by the mob, order your fervants to be particularly careful that none of the harness, &c. be made free with by the friends of liberty.

Should you prove the fuccefsful candidate, return your moft grateful acknowledgments to the electors, and for five or fix years think no more of them; but if you fhould be thrown out, promife to avail yourfelf of their flattering fupport the very firft opportunity. THE MAYOR OF GARRAT.

DIALOGUE BETWEEN GOG AND MAGOG, IN GUILDHALL.

AT a late Common Hall we're taught something new,

What a member fhould fay, and what he fhould do *;

To fetch and to carry, and moftly fay Nay,
If reform is the word, then meekly fay, Yea;
With freedom of will, with fhackles on mind,
To judge and debate is quite useless we find;
A foe to each bigot, and herefy dire,
And filently pray if the church is on fire.

It was endeavoured to make the candidates for London engage always to obey the inftructions of their conftituents.

A pure

A pure fcrap of Latin, we're told how to say ;
Revive the old caufe, Efto perpetua.

Let us offer ourselves, my dear brother Gog,
Since members, like us, will become a mere log.

SIR,

THE WORD WAREHOUSE.

[From the Oracle.]

READING your account of the Word Warehouse opened at Piccadilly, for the ufe of such as are candidates for feats in Parliament, it ftruck me not only as an ingenious, but an ufeful idea, to open fuch a repofitory. Want of words is not only complained of at the time of election, but it is feverely felt by the nation afterwards, as moft of the members have exhaufted their whole ftock, except ayes and noes; and of late years there cannot be even negatives enough forthcoming on any important minifterial queftion.

After dinner, yesterday, I fell into a profound fleep; the Word Warehouse fill running in my mind, and a bottle of wine ftanding on the table before me, when I imagined myfelf in a large apartment, fitted up nearly like the fale-room at the India Houfe. A tall good-looking man ftood behind a counter, and a confiderable number of fpectators were feated upon benches; for it was judged proper to difpofe of the ftock quickly by public auction, as after the election the words would fetch no price, and the interest of the money, at compound rate, by the hour, had been calculated, by the actuary of an Infurance Office, for four years, three months, and two days, the probable interval between this and another election, at 32 per cent. and 95 hundredth parts of a cent. All this I learnt from a little man in a gray coat, wearing fpectacles, who fat on the bench befide me. The words for

fale

fale were ftrung by one corner on a file, and torn off as they were wanted.

The first perfon who came in was a large bluftering man, with a red nose*, and his eyes fparkling with genuine wit and humour. "I want," faid he, "a Jample of words, and, if that is good, you may fend me home a bufhel, and I'll give you a draft at fight: on our house." He was prefented with a fample, in which was gratitude, attention, intereft, honour, and diffidence; but the words inftructions and conftituents happening to be pulled down both together, he threw the whole fample in the auctioneer's face, curfing him for his impudence, and foon was out of fight.

The next purchafer was a man of pleafing afpe&t, who wished for a fet of double-entendres, fo that he might make his court to two parties at one time, having once been croffed in his views by fpeaking too plainly t. He wifhed alfo to purchase the words billions, trillions, and quadrillions, in order to make his conftituents comprehend the immenfity of their burdens, and the profundity of his arithmetic. He was supplied with a whole volume of figures for the low price of five fhillings and nine-pence, thefe things having become of late years mere drugs.

A little man with a reading-glafs in his band, and a fanctified countenance +, afked the auctioneer to put up the words patience, felf-denial, faith, mercy, and hope, together with implicit confidence, and fome more of a like ftamp: on this there was a general fmile, and but three competitors; fo the whole lot went off for a few fhillings; the money was paid down, and the purchafer, pocketing the bargain, went away apparently well contented.

*We muft defire that the reader will not think of applying this to

-n C-s.

+ Nor this to Mr. T――y.

VOL. VI.

Nor this to Mr. W——e

A tall,

A tall, thin man, well-dreffed, and fhuffling his feet upon the floor, then came in, and ftopped a moment, not as a spectator *, and to have the evidence of facts, but to exchange worn-out words for new ones; on which a perfon feated behind me called out aloud, "D'ye fee that there gemman? he has got more words at his tongue's end than the whole ftock in this warehoufe." On this there was a general laugh-the spareribbed gentleman walked out.

A number of voices began to call for the lot which the red-faced Ald—--n had refused. Eternal gratitude was firft put up; there were no lefs than three hundred and fifteen offers, and the lot, which was put up at 10/. fold for 3000 guineas; it was knocked down to the manager of a theatre, who gave directions to fend it to Stafford by the mail-coach directly.

The clamour now began to be fo great, and the competition fo warm for unbounded devotion, conftant regard, efteem, confidence, and a number of fuch-like words, that it was impoflible to proceed; and the company that wanted words to exprefs themselves, finding that the auctioneer wanted words to fupply them all, the appellations of bottle conjuror, humbug, &c. were pronounced with more than ufual energy. A Bow-ftreet' othcer ruthed in, and knocked down Lord T. and several very peaceable witneffes to the fale; a poker was thrown at the auctioneer, who in return threw his haminer with great violence, the handle of which I thought came into my right eye, which awoke me— I was glad to find the danger was only imaginary; and after taking a glafs to recover my fpirits, I fat down to give you an account of what I had feen in the regions of fancy.

A MAN OF Words.

Nor this to Mr. P-t.

IMPROMPTU.

ON

IMPROMPTU.

THE DECLARATION OF THE NEW WESTMINSTER CANDIDATE, THAT HE WOULD BEQUEATH HIS HEART TO THE ELECTORS.

BROKER G-m, who ftrives by the rabble to rife,

Tells the voters he 'll leave them his heart when he dies; And to make them with pleasure accept of the boon, He has nothing to do but to give it them foon.

ANOTHER.

LEAVE not to Westminster thy heart,
The voters with not for a part;

Bút fully to content them, rather,
Oh Gm, leave them all together.

'SQUIRE DOUGHTY AND HIS VOTERS.
A PINDARIC TALE, BY ONE OF THE FAMILY.
[From the Oracle.]

'SQUIRE Doughty was a man of wealth and worth,
But thought a feat in Parliament an honour
Which might call many a latent glory forth,
And yield advantage to each fuff'rage donor.
Fair was his fame, and his intentions good,
Yet fcarcely could he get a score of votes;
Nay, fome that promifed had turn'd their coats,
And few indeed he found that firmly stood ;
The town, accuftom'd long to buy and fell,
Thought, though 'Squire Doughty did exceeding well,
He fomething had forgot-fure, not a bribe!
That gains the hearts of half the voting tribe.
The 'Squire found out what all his voters rul'd,
And though this was a fpecies of knowledge
Not ufually taught at College,

Was by a fingle hint completely school'd.
Now billets to each voting mansion flew,

(What was their form not Phoebus dares explain ;)

A