Miniftry look to it :-I expect every day to hear of a mutiny; the features of our proceffion-men, fo long fixed with grief, begin to relax, and our mutes talk a language to which they have not been much used."

Minifters too generally look to an immediate addition to the revenue, without foreseeing confequences, or confidering whether that which they take to be a ftream that will flow perpetually, is not in fact a drain which will foon be exhaufted. They are probably deceived by the prefent apparent influx of bufinefs at Somerset Houfe. To fee hundreds running to the office to get their juleps and their draughts stamped, feems to promise much; and the idea of making a man contribute as much to the revenue when fick as when well, feems the ne plus ultra of financial cunning. But I doubt not it will be found that it is the rich only who are now taking dofes agreeable to Act of Parliament, becaufe many of them are well known to be enamoured. of difeafe, and in particular would not give up nervous, diforders for the world. But the middling and lower claffes, who cherish a love of liberty and health, will never fubmit to have a tribe of informers watching at their bedfides, to fee that all their proceedings be duly ftamped. No, Sir, they will rather get well, be the confequences what they may; and I am affured by fome apothecaries of great practice, that their patients are flipping through their fingers very fast, and threatening to live healthy by mere ftrength of conftitution. Upon the faculty, indeed, this is a new tax upon income, by another name, and not unattended with fome difgrace; for, as one of them obferved to me," it is a moft fhameful thing that I can't fo much as adminifter a clyfter without fending to the Stampoffice it is fo like the feverity of the excife; by the laws of which, a man cannot fet his people to work without giving notice to an officer."

:

I beg leave to fubmit these alarms and difcontents through the medium of your paper; and am, Sir, Your humble fervant,

Sept. 9.

Z. Y,

QUACKS.

THE following curious advertisement appeared lately in America in a Norfolk paper.

ADVERTISEMENT.

Doctor Guefippus Hanefio,

Having the health and welfare of the citizens of Norfolk very much at heart, and foreseeing that the town will be infefted with various diseases during the approaching autumn, begs leave once more to claim attention. Gentlemen, I was born with a natural antipathy to all diseases whatever, as fome people are to cheefe and onions-I hate difeafes, and diseases hate me; by the fame token they fly from my prefence, as it was obferved while the late Dog Law was in operation, that the dogs by natural instinct ran away from the Borough Dog-killers (and even went so far as to growl at the Common Council). I make it my constant business to deftroy diseases whenever I meet them. But, Gentlemen, don't mifunderstand me; though I kill the diseases, I do the man no harm. For the prefent I muft content myself with offering to your notice a few more of my wonderful medicines as well

as cures.

Ift, My Anodyne Spirit; excellent to eafe pain, when taken inwardly; and, applied outwardly, excellent for any lameness, contraction of the nerves, fore eyes, deafnefs, pain and noise in the ears, and all odontalgic, as well as podagrical inflammations.

2d, My Cathartic Elixir, which corrects all the cacochymic and cachexical difeafes of the inteftines,

cures

cures all external and internal difeafes, all vertiginous vapours, hydrocephalous giddinefs, epileptic fits, flowing of the gall, ftoppage of urine, with many other diftempers not hitherto diftinguifhed by name.

3d, My Antidotus Antifyphiliticus, which effectually cures all carnofities in the delinquent part, tumours, phymofis, paraphymofis, hæmorrhoids, cantillamata, ragades, buboes, impofthumations, genicular nodes, and the like, without mercury-obferve! (without mercury)-which has fo often proved deftructive to the poor patients.

4th, My Pectoral Lozenges, or balfam of balfams, which effectually carries off all windy and tedious coughs, fpitting of blood, wheezing in the larynx, and ptyalifmus, let it be never fo inveterate. See the following certificate :

"I Obadiah Hemming, of the parish of Allhallows Barking, in the city of London, was troubled for twenty years with fo uumerciful a phthific, that nobody in the family could fleep for me-after applying to all the most eminent phyficians, I found no relief whatever, until I took fome of Dr. Hanefio's pectoral lozenges, which cured me effectually in lefs than a week. Witnefs my hand, Obadiah Hemming."

5th, My Antituffient Pills, which I have been thirty years and upwards in contriving-They are compounded of fuch admirable ingredients, that, Gentlemen, the party that takes them may lie up to his chin in water for a fortnight together, or cover himfelf all over in fnow as naked as when he first came into the world; and if he coughs forty years after that, I am content to lofe my ears-let any man that diftrufts the virtue of my antituffient pills make the experiment; and if, as I faid before, he coughs forty years after that, I engage to be his bond-flave.

Cures as follows:

Zelotyphia Italica.-Charles Cornuticus was fo wonderfully afflicted with this difeafe, that he conftantly locked up his fimpering fpoufe when bufinefs called him abroad, and would hardly aft her with her aunt or grandmother; by rectifying his conftitution with my true Elixir de Cardeníbus Rofainvilleus, he is fo entirely cured of his old yellow diftemper, that now of his own accord he carries her to the playhouse, fends her to the balls and merry-makings in town, and will let her fit a whole afternoon with a smoothfaced fpark, and is never disturbed at it.

Worms.-Jethro Lumm, at the fign of the Blue Ball and Spotted Horse, by taking a few doses of my Pulvis Vermifugus, or antivermatic powders, voided above thirty thoufand worms of all forts, as your afcarides, teretes, hirudines, and fo forth, in the fpace of twelve hours; one of which, by modeft computation, was thought long enough to reach from the Town Hall to the Wig-wam. I confefs my medicine is a little bitter-but what fays the learned Arabian philofopher, Hamet Ben Hamet Ben Haddu Albumazar: "A diadem will not cure the apoplexy, nor a velvet flipper the gout:" and are not all the ancients agreed that rarò corpus fine vermibus? therefore, my friends, be advifed in time.

Ill Effects of a Scolding Wife.-Marmaduke Thummington was poffelfed of an obftreperous, ill-conditioned devil of a wife, whofe everlafting clack inceffantly thundering in his ears, had made him as deaf as a drum his cafe was fo lamentable, that a twelvepounder fhot over his head affected him no more than it would a man twenty miles off; nay, he was infenfible to all the betting and fwearing of the loudeft cockmatch ever fought at Jerufalem or Halifax (N. C.). After all your pretenders had defpaired of him, I undertook his cure, and with a few of my otacoustical drops have fo entirely recovered him, and his hearing

is fo entirely improved, that at an eavesdropping at a window he can hear oaths that were never fworn, and obfcenity that was never fpoken.

Drowfinefs.-Nehemiah Drowfy was fo prodigioufly afflicted with a lethargy, that his whole life was little better than a dream. He could fleep even while he was giving an account of his own pedigree; nay, has often been found afleep at a certain exercise which keeps all other mortals awake. By following my directions, he is fo wonderfully altered for the better, that, after a full dinner of roaft beef and pudding, he can listen to a dull fermon without fo much as yawning

once.

Farrago Medicinarum.-I cured an eminent coachkeeping phyfician who was troubled with a farrago medicinarum, or tumor prescriptionalis, to that monftrous degree, that he wrote bills by the yard, and` prefcribed medicines by the hogfhead and wheelbarrow-full: to the amazement of all who know him, I have effectually cured him on't; for now he writes. but three words, prefcribes but two fcruples, leaves people to a wholefome kitchen diet and nature, has ruined the fexton, funeral undertaker, and the parish is fo much increased in population, that many perfons are daily emigrating to the western country.

Scabies Caufidica Rabularis.-I cured a county attorney of the fcabies caufidica rabularis (another wonderful cure never performed before), fo that now he is as quiet as a crammed capon among barn-door hens; he won't fo much as fcratch for his food; his uncle has difinherited him, and I am told he is about to lift himself for a foot-foldier.

For the fatisfaction of the public, I muft inform, that a certain gentleman has obtained letters patent, for using a new-invented machine for curing the

Any perfon who doubts this can know the truth, by applying at the office of the Secretary of State.

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