proper in naming it from its duration; but most people will require fomething more defcriptive.

2. The Juft and neceffary War. Although this would pleafe many, how does it diftinguish the late war from all the wars that ever have been, or that ever will be, undertaken by kings and minifters ?

3. The War for Religion. Pofterity, in reading certain fpceches and manifeftoes, will think this name. not lefs appropriate than venerable. But is there not fome danger of their judging us guilty of a misnomer when they come to confider-Who were the parties to the war? What was the conduct of it? What were the events which diftinguished it? And what are the ftipulations of the peace which put an end to it? They must at any rate have many keen controverfies with regard to the nature of the religion for which it was undertaken and carried on. Some will fay Chriftianity, fome Mahometanifm; fome Proteftantifm, fome Catholicism, fome Deifm, fome Atheism. Should I have included in my lift a War for Morality?

4. The War for Civil Society, or, The Civil Society War. I fear the wags of future times would declare that they could difcover nothing but diftruft, cunning, and perfidy in the fecitties which the war brought together; and that, as men are too apt to judge from the event, all our glorious efforts would be despised and derided.

5. The European War. To this I can fee no objection. The war extended over Europe was for the deliverance of Europe, and has undone Europe. The next may be preferred..

6. Pitt's War. Would Mr. Windham maintain that his name fhould be added? He certainly had all the affection of a father, and mourned most piously when his darling was ravifhed from him. We fufpect, however, that he would be much afhamed to have it fuppofed that the war, while it exifted, was under his

direction

direction and guidance. Lord Grenville would not be much difpofed to grumble; and, whatever may be the petty claims of your emperors, your kings, and your confuls, if fo much honour can be done to any one mortal man, Pitt's is the name which the war ought to carry down with it to the latest ages.

Although you should not yet be fatisfied, yet, Sir, I have a long catalogue to offer to your choice-but I find it impoffible for me to add even a fingle remark.

The laft, fuggefted by an eloquent Ex-Member of Parliament, is fo elegant that I cannot think of placing another after it. Were I to begin with the epithets glorious," "well-conducted," &c. I fhould never come to a clofe.

66

Let me flatter myself that I have already done enough for the accomplishment of my object, and that, though I can pretend to no merit from the war itself, I may have been inftrumental in procuring it a name, by which it may figure with dignity in the declamation of the orator, the narrative of the hiftorian, and the fong of the poet. Yours,

NOMENCLATOR.

MR. EDITOR,

NATIONAL HONOUR.

[From the fame.]

I OBSERVE that the principal argument with the new Oppofition is, that our Minifters have not fufficiently refented certain indignities offered to the nation, whereby confequently the national honour is tarnished. This appears to me to be a very intricate fubject; and, as I am fure I am not the only perfon perplexed with it, I could wish fome of your deep-read correfpondents would favour us with a differtation on the fubject; and that fuch a gentleman may not be at a lofs to know upon what points we ignoramufes defire to be informed, I will trouble you to infert the following queries:

What is national honour?

Wherein does it lie?

When was it invented, and by what nation?

Does it bear any refemblance to the honour of an individual?

If it does, where are we to look for the feat of honour ?

How many aggreffions amount to pulling the nofe of a nation?

What proceedings on the part of a foreign court may be conftrued into treading on our toes without an apology?

When may a foreign court be faid to loll out its tongue?

How many notes and refcripts are equivalent to Kifs my

?

What part of the united kingdoms is the breech

thereof?

What words in a private audience or a public memorial go to a kick ?

May

May not nations be very angry and very impertinent,

without fighting?

An anfwer to the above will oblige

Dec. 23.

MANY NOODLES.

EPIGRAM.

[From the Oracle.]

EGROLIO leads a married life,

NE

Not with his own, but neighbour's wife;
CORNELIUS knows it to be thus,

But he 's CORNELIUS TACITUS.

BOB SHORT.

MR. P—'S WELCOME TO THE BATH WATERS

WHEN P, as thin and meagre as a lath,

To drink its healing ftreams repair'd to Bath,

The May'r efteem'd it matter of due form,
Το greet "the pilot who had rode the storm,”
With a difplay of raree-fhow hum-bug.
But P, who never quitted port before,
Exclaim'd, "Good Mafter Mayor, of this no more ;
When I drink water-pray you keep it fnug.'

The Mayor obey'd the pious refolution,
Rejoic'd to fee him fave- -one constitution.

AN ITINERANT.

DEATH AND FUNERAL. OF A CELEBRATED

LA

LADY.

[From the Suffex Chronicle].

AST week* died, according to report, in Cabinet Place, St. James's, under the prefeription of eight physicians, the majority of whom gave her over, Mifs Juvenilia Income-tax. She was the daughter of

*This article should have been introduced in an earlier part of the volume, the circumftance which it commemorates having taken place in April; but it did not meet the Editor's eye till a correfpondent obligingly fent it, when this volume was nearly concluded.

Sir Temerity War by a worthy refpectable lady, the relict of the late Good-fenfe Lord England-the lady entered upon thofe her efpoufals (according to general opinion) much against her expreffed inclination, and quite to the prejudice of her family; but yielded to the importunity of rafh advisers, by whom the good lady has been often led into improper matches. She alfo had the misfortune to be attended by a junto of interested emigrant quacks as her medical affiftants. Mifs Juvy Income-tax was one of the younger branches of this unfortunate alliance, and was at her birth thought to promife much help and vigorous fupport to her mother Lady England; whofe new hufband had fquandered her money, and been the death of many of her best fervants. The old lady (although by fome ftill reckoned to be in her noon-tide ftrength) fhewed figns of mental weaknefs by many vifionary undertakings during her cohabitancy with Sir Temerity, among which was her hope by the help of Mifs Juvy's arm to walk as far as Paris! but the fcarcely advanced on the road before all her travelling companions ran lame, although the plied them inceffantly with refreshments her fupporting daughter Mifs Juvy foon becoming ricketty, my lady ftopped fhort, and in her turn appeared afraid that her Parisian friends would return her intended vifit before the had made due preparation to receive them properly. The old matron continued when left by her travelling companions to ftump about her own grounds, and to look after her diftant farms by the help of Juvy's arm, but who grew up very fhort of the expected ftature and mufeular ftrength. Juvy, however, bred early, by a crooked fellow named Informatio, and had a numerous deformed iffue called Perjury, Prevarication, Refervation, Ill-neighbourhood, and others. Juvy would certainly have lived longer, and have cut a better figure, had not the great repreffed her forward advances to intimacy, and made. less and lefs