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dation bills, a balloon. A muførsom would be probably adopted generally by the new country bankers.

OF A

DIARY
TO WEYMOUTH, WRITTEN BY A WELL-KNOWN
CONVIVIAL, GOOD-HUMOURED, AND punning

ALDERMAN,

[From the Oracle.)
Of all the jovial wits, most certes,
None can compare with red-nos'd

ANON, TUESDAY night fupped at Wiltshire's-- Drank “A

speedy Peace and joon,because of the late happy event.–Ate four dozen oysters, drank nine glasses of brandy and water, and having ordered the waiter to call me at eight in the morning, went to bed.-Mem. Sent the chambermaid to pot ! Got up next morning, and, having told the Poftboy he was like the Ministry, because he had the whip-hand of those under bin, drove 10 Bagshot to breakfast, wbere, with a bon-appetit (Bonaparle), I played the part of the Master of the Rolls.--Mem. Bagshot famous for mutton; inhabitants, of course, jbeepiß.--After breakfast wrote a letter to the Banking-house, saying that I thought the Clerks should have more salary, as they had so much walking on their hands.-Lunched at Hartford Bridge, where I was dod easy with the landlord Nick Demezey. Between Murrell Green and Basingstoke obferved fome pretty little houses, which I thought would do very well for a single man and his wife.-Got to Salisbury, and found I was where I set out, in Wiltshire.Arrived at Blurdford; thought of nothing else but the mighty man of Parmesan cheese.-On the other side of Blandford, about two miles, my water-proof coat got wer through; with it had been wine ori in vino weritas." Aldermen should always thew their learning. Dined at Dorchester; after dinner read the newspaper,

D 5

Theatrical

58

DIARY OF A TRIP TO WEYMOUTA. Theatrical news--nothing but the Rival TragediansCan't for the life of me tell which of the two C's is the best actor, “ Cooke or Kemble!”-Arrived at Weymouth the night of the illuminations; and the people swore the chaise was on fire, merely because I exhibited my nose at the window-Wanted supper, and ordered the waiter only to bring it in, as I could find the Way(to) mouth.

Rose at eight, and bathed–Told the bathing-woman she was as handsome as Neptune, becaufe the lived in the fea-Whilst I was in the fra, thouglit my figure would form a prominent feature in a landskip-Breakfafted-made the waiter laugh when he brought in the eggs, by telling him, from Joe Miller, he was a very Yelfijh fellow.—Read the news--Legge the Chelsea Pensioner hung-Mem. Put his foot in it.-Good pun for the clubs. --Shaved, and told the barber not to lather me, or I'd give him a dressing.After breakfast walked on the beach; and whilst I was reading fome papers, was arrested for a Spy, and very nearly comnitted, because the papers were fupposed to be seditious, on account of their being illegible; but was liberated, on explaining that they were only a Collection of my Puns.- Told the story to some ladies, which like Oroonoko, “ they did most seriously decline.”—Walked afterwards with Mrs. Whale, the blubber-merchant's wife, and gallantly wished that I were Jonas.-Strolled over to the Isle of Portland, and as I entered a PublicHouse, fancied myfelf a niember of the Privy-Council, Told Stacie (who has quitted the Bedford Arms, Covent Garden), I was sorry he had left his head behind him. -Dined ; and having ate ny fill of apple-pie, fancied myself a jack with pa udding in my belly:- Read the papers-Some impudent dog been writing my Diary in the Oracle.- N. B. Thresh him till he's a man of Araw.-Went to the Theatre-Mrs. Brimstone and Mr. Flash offended; because I told them they played

Romeo

Romeo and Juliet like thunder and lightning.-N. B. To thew my learning, tell the club that the play of Romeo and Juliet was written by an Apothecary, who in the Strand, or “thereabouts does dwell !" - Drank eleven glafles of brandy and water, and went to bed. -Men. Frightened three ladies into hysterics, and made two miscarry, by an alarm of fire; when it appeared that it was only the rubicundity of my face, going up in the dusk, which caused one of the fair ones to exclaim

What gave you that jolly red nose?Told the Waiter, Dath my buttons, as you’re a good fellow, you shall have my old shoes. ---Paid my lodgings at a Watchmaker's; though, by the by, I ought a have gone on tick.--Told Mr. Apewell, the Mimic, that I was the best imitator, as I should take myself off --Discharged my fubfcription at the Library, “ All for Love." --Meni. The best part of the book to read is the outside. -Got into the chaise at fix in the morning, and feeling myself rather queer, look fonje rum and water. Being rather ailing, bad a toast and tankard at Dorchester-Went on to Salisbury, and was determined to aspire to the top of the Cathedral.--Dined at Basingstoke, and being rather impetuous, was resolved to have a rasher on the coals-read the newspapers, and observed that next Tuesday, owing to the Russian debate, there will be a severe Bear baiting in the House of Commons.--Mem. Afier dinner had some olives, on account of the peace, though, like many others, made wry facesin swallowing. --Made a point of drinking no more than a pint of wine; and having told Mrs. Widgron, the mistress of the house, that by her bill I -fhould have conceived her to be a wild duck, ordered the boy to drive to Murrell Green, where I looked confounded blue, on being informed that there was no other milk in the house except cream.-Came, on to Hounslow, and my coat being very much splashed, was

told

D 6

60

SKRTCH AT BRIGHTON, , told by the landlord he knew I had been at Egham, as he perceived by my coat I had been through Staines.Mem. Good for the city, though fear they won't take it.- Arrived at Turnham Green, and remembered the old story, that Hammersmith was the way to make peas yellow.—Drank tea at Kensington.--Thought of the gth of November. Hope the Lord, Mayor may prove the better horje.--Glorious feasting on Monday. -Warm work among the waiters.-Suppofe they'll run for a heat instead of a plate.- Mem. To look over all my puns and sentiments, and furbith them up against the occasion.-Saw a good pun in the Oracle. -A gentleman never been at Cork, but feen many drawings of it. N. B. Improve upon it, by substituting Paintings for Drawings.--Met with a friend, who took me down to Hampton a-fishing-Arrived at the Bell, where I told the landlord to hold his clapper.Ordered a beef. fteak, and told the waiter my chops were ready when his were. Went to bed, and hearing the Abigail fing, told her, I fuppoftd she was an Abbey-girl. Fished in the morning; but as it rained very hard, got under Moulsey Bridge, for I knew the fijs would come there to get out of the wet --Returned to town in the evening much improved in health, accuracy, puns, and erudition.

(The End of my Diary.)

SKETCH AT BRIGHTON.

[From the fame.) THE morning is generally pafled by perfons of rank

in equestrian excurfions to Rotten Dean, a small village four miles distant, where there are bathing, machines; but a most forbidding want of fociety and neceffaries prompts the rambler to return to the more accommodating town, Curious persons, who wish to explore the rural scenery of Suflex, may find a great

variety 'Fariety in the ride to Preston, of over the Down to Devil's Dyke; where the adventurous horseman may practise according to the directions given by GAMBADO, and overleap the bounds neck or nothing.

Gentlemen who wish to diftinguish themselves in the elegant science of driving, may have curricle-races fimilar to the chariot-races mentioned by Homer, whofe defcription of that game is extremely applicable to the glorious scenes exhibited along the shore near this town:

The smoking chariots, rapid as they bound,
Now fieni to touch the sky, and now the ground:
Thick, where they drive, the dusty clouds arile,
And the loft courfer in the whirlwind ffies :
While, hot for fame, and conqueft all his care,
Each o'er his flying courler hung in air,
Erect with ardour, pois'd upon the rein,

They pant, they stretch, and thout along the plain." Such are the generous competitions of our young mobility and gentry at this fashionable place; and in many respects they evince more intrepidity and dexterity than the charioteers of Greece.

The Grecians had emolument in view to stimulate their exertions; their chariots were strong, and not liable to be readily overturned; but our more illustrious British beroes venture their necks purely for the honour, or rather the fun of the thing: Nothing is more common than to see their curricles overturned and dalbed to pieces, while the horfes and rider roll along according to the philosophical principles of motion; and afterwards get up, if no bones are broken, and return to town with all imaginable magnanimity!

Gentlemen wbo choose to exercise their muscular powers as watermen, daily give proofs of their fearless disposition by rowing the pleasure-boats, while their lovely female friends fit in Aate, beautiful as Cleo

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