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What a horrible discordance ! Is it fit, my countrymen, that while the Muses are instructing milliners and tailors, you should mix with their finelt performances all the rudeness of the peasants of the Danube? But your error proceeds only from ignorance; and, thanks to Heaven, it will foon be removed. Young persons, in an antique fashion like you, should not fcratch except with the end of the finger, without incurring the imputation of barbarism; and, in obeying this precept, to which Cæfar and Pompey fub. mitted, you will, in time, give a proof of atticism and erudition.
I expect that you will perfect yourselves in this exercise. --The display of the arm, the whiteness of the hand, the luftre of a ring, are elements worthy of your combinations. Why, then, should not the finger sporting on your hands have sufficicnt genius and expression to thew us, by the variety of its movements, whether you are throwing out a declaration of love, or are receiving information concerning the Tiers Consolidés a
[From the Oracle.] MR. EDITOR, I HAVE the misfortune to be what our ancestors called
a passionate fellow; but in this elegant age my foible is foftened down to the epithet irritable. In fhort, Sir, if any of my domestics are caught stealing my property, and brought before me, I am devilish apt to knock them down, and afterwards dismiss them, instead of sending thein to gaol to undergo the rigour of the law, as your well-bred and bumane fine gentlemen kornmonly do. In common occurrences, however, I am by no means fo ferocious as the man-tiger that broke loose from his keepers in our town a few nights ago, and made such a havoc among the people.
CRABTREE's COMPLAINT. To make a long story fhort, I was lately put into a terrible passion by the wickednefs of my daughter Priscilla, whom I sent to town about fix months ago, to make herself mistrefs of what are called accomplishments. Her aunt, Lady Frizzlewig, of Berkeley Square, invited ine to visit her in town, and I cane up from my feat in Warwickshire last Saturday. Her Ladyship and my girl both expressed great pleasure on seeing me so hale and hearty. Though naturally a little crabbed, I do not recollect fwearing once during the evening, we were all in such a good humour about the peace. After tea I retired to my lodgings in Piccadilly, precisely at ten minutes after ten o'clock, and I fince find that my regularity has been imitated to a minute by General Laurifton.
Next morning I waited on the ladies, in order to accompany them to church; but, to my surprise, I found my daughter reading a Romance, called The Monk. « That's a good girl," faid I, as I entered
you were always fond of your book, Pris.” “ Yes, Sir," replied fhe. (I thought the looked a little confused, as the closed the book.) “ Don't let me interrupt you, child," said I. know I like to see you devout; but surely they pay very little respect to prayer-books in London, when they put them into fuch indifferent binding ?” Saying this, I took the book out of her hand, and, looking over the title, I could scarcely believe my eyes. gazed alternately on my daughter and the abominable volume, nor could I forbear venting my passion in a manner that brought the tears into her eyes. In her affliction, however, she was able to fob out “ that she did not think it a fin to read a pretty story written by a Member of Parliament." 266 A member of the H-il fire C-b!"exclaimed 1;“ never let me fee such books in your hand again on Sunday or any other day, or by-" The entrance of my fifter Frizzlewig pre
the room ;
vented me from venting my passion in an oath, so that it remained in my breast like a volcano, struggling to get vent. · Her Ladyship inquired the cause of my daughter's apparent grief; and, when informed, the laughed heartily. Seeing me look fomewhat grave, and knowing my temper, the endeavoured to fouth me by saying, “ Never mind, brother; I shall introduce you to our little card-party this evening, and you shall hear fome excellent vocal and instrumental musie after breakfast.”—“ I have no objection," replied I, s to hearing the choristers and ihe organ in your parish church; but none of your card-playing for me."--" At church !” cried she; “ surely you don't think us fo barbarously unfashionable as to go to church ! No, my dear Sir! it is a snug musical entertainment of our own, where you fhall hear "The * Soldier tir'd of War's Alarms' lung almost as well as by Mrs. Billington herself.”
Irritated, as they call it, beyond expression, I commanded my daughter to prepare to leave the manfion of diffipation, and an hour afterwards took her in my coach to my lodgings. She is now pretty well convinced of the folly and impiety of such vain amusements on a day peculiarly devoted to religion, and we shall set out to-morrow morning for my family manfion, where there shall be neither card-playing nor crotchettos and Squeakettos, except in the hog-stye, on Sunday.
I am, Mr. Editor, &c.
SAMUEL CRABTREE. .
THE SUNDAY AMUSEMENTS OF THE WORLD
OF FASHION VINDICATED.
[From the same.] MR. EDITOR, I LATELY read a letter in your paper, figned by
Mr. CRABTREE, and from his morose difpofition it is evident that he is not misnamed. This fulty country
Squire, 70 SUNDAY AMUSEMENT3 VINDICÁTED. Squire, forsooth, mult drag his elegant daughter from the pleasing qualifications of polithed society, because he found her reading a novel on Sunday. Had he been a Quaker or a Methoditt, that would have been fome extenuation of his austerity ; but, professing himself a meniber of the established church, I am amazed at his illiberality,
Would he have young ladies to be constantly moping over a Prayer-book, like a criminal preparing for execution ? Or does he imagine that their memory is so defective as not to have the whole Liturgy by rote? Let me tell him, that in this philosophizing age I "could find him feveral fashionable ladies who are poffessed of more erudition than the rector of his parish, and are not only versed in French and Italian, but can play on the harpsichord, the tambourine, and cymbals, and dance with the agility of the Graces, as I witness almost every Sunday evening. Sweet creatures ! why thould they suffer their accomplishments to remain inert, like gold locked up in the iron chest of the mifer?
Ay, but your surly correspondent may reply, “ Let them dance and fing fix days and nights in the week, and rest on the seventh.” I own there is some rationality in the observation ; but as water, in continual agitation in a running stream, is infinitely more pure and transparent than the fame element in a stagnant pool, our ladies are apprehensive that a temporary fufpenfion of their amusements might not only depress their animal spirits, but consequently injure their beauty; an event which would be more calamitous to their imagination than any other penalty.
Besides, as we are now on terms of aniity with the French nation, we must endeavour to ape them in the elegance and variety of our amusements; nay, we muft excel them, if poflible, in every species of diffipation, however abfurd or immoral. 11:4
Even your friend Crabtree will own the necessity of this, as I find he is a patriot. Let him only conlider what a pitiful figure we should make in the eyes of our numerous French visitors, who, on their arrival in London, instead of finding us joyous, should discover us at prayers, preparing to go to church, or any other of those puritanical appearances of sanctity, which rendered our forefathers fo proverbially religious in the time of Oliver Croniwell. Would not a French philosopher of the new school laugh at our piety, and recominend gaiety as a substitute for religion? Would he not be one of the first in company to chant some favourite bravura, or lead his partner through the mazes of the dance, as innocent and refined Sunday evening amusements? Cards have long been prescribed in the gay
world as an infallible remedy for the spleen ; and what physician would hesitate to administer his medicine on Sunday ?
It is well known that cards were invented as a kind of anodyne, to mitigate the ennui of an idiot King of France; and the same amusement has since kept innumerable idiots in play, and prevented them from committing greater mischief, by confining them to one spot.
Perhaps no recreation could be better adapted to exercise both the mind and body. The continual ebbs and flows of the animal spirits, kept in agitation from the fucceflive emotions of hope, 'fear, anxiety, and avarice; the enthusiasm excited by competition, and a desire to win; and the exalted joy or secret forrow that awaits the event, over which chance presides, must be wonderfully conducive to the increase of goodwill and benevolence among the conípetitors. A fill more spirited species of gambling may be found in the die. Let our young ladies only recollect what an interesting and modelt figure they recently cut in the