*

raffling-fhops of Margate or Brighton, and how much their mufcular energy was increated by rattling the dicebox, and throwing the little magical cubes on which the happinefs or mifery of all around was infcribed! Surely fuch healthful exercifes as thefe muft be very good, even on the Sabbath-day, and more decorous than the violent exercife of the skipping-rope, which is, indeed, only fit for fome Mifs Tomboy.

With refpect to futurity, you know it is quite unfashionable to difcufs that myfterious topic; nay, the very thought of death would frighten feveral female philofophers of my acquaintance into fits; and when fome of the fuperftitious notious, early imbibed from the prejudices of their parents, pafs through their imagination like a phantom, they hurry to their harpfichord, and, by playing two or three lively airs, drive away reflection, as the harp of David exorcifed the melancholy Dæmon of Saul.

It may be argued, that even inanimate nature feems to pay a tribute to the Great Creator; that the cheerful light of day, the fparkling beauty of ftreams, the majestic fwell of mountains, and the wavy expanfe of the ocean, difplay the goodness and power of the Deity; while the perfume of fhrubs and flowers, the waving homage of the winds, and the triumphant fong of the feathered tribes, feem to prompt the human race to pious gratitude. And fhall man be filent while the whole creation around him is infpired with inarticulate devotion?

All this may be very true; and piety, among the lower claffes, may be productive of focial order, and the univerfal happiness of the community. But you know, Sir, that, in all ages, the world of fashion have claimed the privilege of playing the fool-of living in their own way as a detached body. In polite

* Now, alas! prohibited by Act of Parliament.

company

1

company the very mention of religion would either excite a grin, or make all the female part of the company, who were not fainting, turn pale. - Wishing your friend Crabtree may become a profelyte to the new phifophy, which bids us" eat, drink, and be merry, I am, &c.

OLIVER OBDURATE.

THE LAPDOG AND PHYSICIAN.

[From the French]

ALL the world has heard of Ninon l'Enclos, who preferved her beauty for near a century. Ninon l'Enclos' lapdog was a neat, fleek, clever little cur, and his name was Raton. This celebrated beauty, fo much admired, as well for the charms of her wit as the graces of her perfon, never went abroad but Raton was her conftant companion. At table fhe used to place him in a basket befide her plate. He was, as hiftory relates, her phyfician. He took care that his miftrefs fhould obferve the ftricteft regimen, which preserved her beauty, her health, and her good humour till the was a hundred years of age, and this because the abstained from coffee, ragouts, and liqueurs.

Raton permitted in filence plain foup, a fimple roaft or boiled joint of meat, to pafs; but whenever his miftrefs attempted to touch ragouts, he growled, looked ftern, and abfolutely prohibited all feafoned difhes. Their arguments on thefe occafions formed a moft animated fentimental dialogue; and the doctor, after fome pretty hard difputes, generally carried his point. Sometimes he permitted a few light entremets to efcape his feverity; but to others he was inexorable, particu larly when his noftrils were affailed by the odour of Spices.

The attentive doctor allowed the different courfes to fucceed without the leaft demand for himself; nor

VOL. VI.

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even

even did he fhew the leaft longing for the breaft of a pullet, or any other tid-bit. He was none of your phyficians who preach temperance over turtle and venifon. But as foon as the deffert entered, up he rose, leaped on the table-cloth, wagged his tail, ran backwards and forwards, paying his court to the ladies till he got a few macaroons, or fome fuch thing, to appeafe his hunger.

He allowed his lady to eat as much fruit as fhe pleafed, and to ufe fugar if the liked it; but as to coffee, he was inexorable. As foon as the cordials were produced, Raton preffed close to his mistress, fnatched up the glafs, and hid it in the corner of his bafket. It Ninon attempted to put her lips to the nectar, our four-footed Sangrado growled furiously. If the perfevered, he was as ready to bite as thew his teeth. He would bark, grin, and fnap ; and every body wondered to fee fuch hippocratical zeal lodged in fo fmall a body!

"Doctor," faid Ninon," at least you will allow me to take a glafs of water?" At thefe words he fmoothed his wrinkled front, and compofed his quivering jaws; and in token of reconciliation they drank out of the fame tumbler. He then accepted and munched up his accuftomed cheesecake, kipped and gambolled about the room, triumphing in his victory, proud of guarding the life of his faithful miftrefs.

Ye fair, who eat without fcruple whatever is put before you, think of Ninon l'Enclos' phyfician! But fo rare a treasure never fell to the lot of any other but Ninon l'Enclos. Incomparable phyfician, fo tender yet fo rigorous! Alas! poor Raton! His remains are ftill to be feen in the Mufeum of Natural History.There, fluffed with ftraw, is exhibited the skin of this matchlefs guardian and preferver of beauty! Go, ye fair, and vifit his remains; and while you melt over the memory of this paragon of animals, be guided by his prefcriptions!

SIR,

LOVE OF LAPDOGS.

[From the Sun.]

AS a ridiculous attachment to the canine fpecies feems at prefent very prevalent among the order of Ancient Virgins, I wish to circulate as much as poffible the account in your paper, of the melancholy ever occafioned by fuch unwholesome bedfellows. I think it may have a good effect, as most of these ladies are tremblingly alive to every thing which concerns their bodily health. My aunt has taken the alarm, and poor little Fidèle is wathed, aired, and perfumed every night, to prevent the danger of infection from him.

A fhort history of this French cur may gratify fome of your readers; and if it fhould fall under the perufal of the good old lady herself, it may fhew her the folly of fuch fondnefs, and induce her to place her affections upon more deferving objects. I am her nephew, and only relation; and having loft a moft amiable wife, who left me with two young children, I gladly accepted a refuge under her roof. I looked up to her as a mother for my children, my fituation in the army leaving me little leifure to attend to their education. At firit the appeared dotingly fond of them, and well the might, for they were perfect cherubs. But unfortunately, about the breaking out of the French war, a prieft who had fled his country, and found fhelter at Bath, where my aunt refides, made her a prefent of little Fidèle. The animal was then in his prime, and ferved as a playfellow to my children; but by degrees, he contrived to infinuate himself into fuch favour, that, from being the companion of the old lady's walks, he has for many years thared her bed. Like all favourites, he was never to be corrected; in confequence, every chair, curtain, and carpet in the houfe, bears fome mark of Fidèle's bounty.-But that is not the worst :

as age has weakened the poor fellow's retentive faculties, a night feldom paffes that he does not give his fond bedfellow a favoury proof of his affection; for Fidèle loves good eating, and he is fed with the greatest dainties.

In Ihort, he is become almoft a piece of carrion, mangy, and full of vermin, with a breath the fartheft from the fweets of Arabia you can imagine. It makes my Heart ache, to fee my good old aunt leading this animal in a firing round and round the Circus, watching with the greatest anxiety every call of nature, while hundreds of idle wenches and their fweethearts are tittering at every window. Often am I obliged to interfere with the landlady, who declares the did not bargain to find Fidèle with theets; and it was only yesterday, when I was expoftulating with Sufan for. threatening to leave her place, that the girl exclaimed, "Lord, Sir, I would do any thing for a Chriftian, but it is too much to do the dirty work for a dog-and then to hear my old mistress, while my ftomach has turned at the fmell, addrefs this nafty cur, as if he were one of your own fweet babes, Never mind, Fiddy; do it again, my dear; the has nothing to do but to clean after you.'-Indeed, Sir, it is too much, and there is no likelihood of being an end to it; for if he dies firft, my old lady declares the will have his fkin ftuffed, and that he fhall be her bedfellow as long as the lives."

I am not much verfed in books, but I think this fubject formerly fell under the lafh of the inimitable author of the Spectator, who has obferved, that as the fair fex are by nature formed for affection and dalliance, fo when they have been difappointed of the proper objects of love, as husbands, or children, they have, at a certain age, grown proportionably fond of lapdogs, parrots, and other animals.-I am not old enough to remember if my aunt ever met with a mortification of this fort; but fure I am, that it affords a most melancholy proof of the weakness of human nature, to

fee