divine. I, who you know am naturally very humane, took it into my head (it never reached my heart, there fore you must forgive me), that I ought to be the father of a great man; for I had juft been reading the Megalanthropogenefie. That book promifes that he who has genius, and unites with a woman who has genius too, hall have a fon worthy of his parents, a fon great in the ratio of the united genius of father and mother.

I inftantly bethought myfelf, "I'have genius; for I have compofed two fongs, a quatrain, twelve moral epiftles, the fourth part of a farce, and a whole conundrum. I am a fuperior being; but my wife, atas! fhe is agreeable, virtuous, and handfome-Yes, but the never wrote any thing but letters to her husbandnever produced any thing but two children, who, though the one is fix, the other feven years old, are by no means prodigies. I must be the father of a great man. This I owe to my fame as a Poetiferto my country." Fool that I was! I went on deliberately meditating an infidelity, folely for the honour of future times at the expense of my own.

I immediately waited upon a lady diftinguished for her knowledge in chemistry and in the Grecian dance.

I entered her apartment with my book in my hand, and faid, "Nature has called me to the performance of a great work, and for that purpofe the has conferred upon me the rare and precious gift of genius, which our fathers of former times have very Iparingly tranfmitted to us, becaufe they were ignorant of the fecrets of the Megalanthropogenefie. For us, Madame, who are defirous to leave to our children the fole inheritance worthy of a philofopher, and far fuperior to wealth, which every body defpifes in this enlightened age-I fay, Madame, it is proper that you and I fhould combine in this great act of universal philanthropy." The lady replied to my folemn declaration

"O thrice

83 "O thrice and four times happy the child, to whom my erudite breaft fhall give fuck! But do you esteem yourself worthy to be the father?"—" Madame-" "Does it become you to avail yourself of the pretended rights of our fex in making the advances ?"" It is the homage due to yours.""Let us wave these prejudices of custom, and fee whether you are worthy of the honour you claim. You behold that alembic, that retort?"" Madame, I don't understand chemistry."—"Vile atom! Not understand the properties of metals, the qualities of fluids and gas! Can you pretend to combine with wifdom the amalgam of life? Begone! We are not kindred fouls; you are unworthy to co-operate in the great work."" But I have genius; for I have made verfes of all forts of feet." Make verfes! At least then you should know what neafure is beft adapted to the Pyrrhic dance? No. I know nothing of the matter.' "Then you must abandon the hope of being the father of a great man, fince you are unacquainted with the two most perfect fciences of our age-chemiftry and dancing."

[N. B. The wife of the Poetifer, by whom the above letter is communicated to the Paris journalist, fuppreffes her hufband's concluding apologies. She only ftates, that he is cured of the frenzy of be getting great men, has promised to be faithful to her, and to be content with fuch children as it fhalk pleafe God to give him.]

THE BOND STREET LOUNGERS' WONDERFUL CURE..

[From the Lady's Monthly Mufeum.]

DOCTOR D, a country phyfician, lately paid a vifit at an ancient family feat in Wales. It was the abode of an old couple, whom he had attended

for

for upwards of twenty years. They ranked more among his friends than his patients; for with air, exercife, temperance, and good conftitutions, they had funk into the vale of life almoft unannoyed by its ufual infirmities. It was, therefore, with fome furprife the Doctor found his old friends, at twelve o'clock of a burning day, feated oppofite each other at the firefide, in their arm-chairs and night-caps, with dejected looks, and in mournful filence. By a fort of inftinet peculiar to the fons of Galen, the Doctor immediately applied to the pulfe for a solution.

No pulfes could be more regular. "Dear me! no bad news, I hope?"-" Ah! Doctor," exclaimed Mrs. B. "none can efcape the infirmities of old age.' "Well, Madam, but pray what is the matter?" fubjoined the Doctor. "Oh! Doctor, we are both deaf!"" Deaf! impoffible: you feem to hear me perfectly.""Yes," faid Mrs. B. "we have a few intervals, and this is one of them; but, in general, we 're fo deaf, that we could not hear you fpeaking acrofs the table."-" Indeed," interrupted Mr. B. "it was not for ourfelves we fent for you, Doctor, but for our dear grandchildren, who are come down from London to fee us. They are fo fallen away, that they are ready to flip through their clothes; and, though their lungs, I fear, have been hurt, by ftriving to make us hear them, yet their loudeft fpeaking is to us only a faint, fickly whine.-Poor boys! you knew their mother, Doctor; fhe died of a confumption this time seven years, at Tenby.-Poor boys! they will foon follow her !"-" Ay," added the old lady (weeping), "misfortunes never come alone. It was the very first day of their arrival our deafness came At this inftant, the parlour-door opened, upon us." and in ftalked two tall, raw-boned, meagre, but athletic fellows, in huge Auftrian boots and trunk breeches. They took no notice of the company, but

threw

threw themselves upon an old fettee, with an air of ficknefs and laffitude. "Ah! Doctor," exclaimed the old man, "there was once a limb for you"-(alt this time the elder of the two, in a reclining posture, was tapping his leg and thigh with a little crooked cane, which he had taken out of his pocket) ;-" but come, I must introduce you to your patients." So faying, he rofe, and taking the Doctor by the hand, he brought him over to the fettee, and addreffing the young gentlemen, faid, "My dear boys, this is our old friend, Doctor Dubb, whom you have fo often heard us fpeak of." The young gentlemen rofe, with an air of indifference, and half-averted eyes,. and in a whispering, confumptive tone of voice, both faid, or feemed to fay: "Sa I va ga fee ya, Plinin ha, Sa, (Sir, I am very glad to fee you at Plinlimmon Hall, Sir!)" The Doctor, who knew fomething of modern fashions, and smoked two Bond-ftreet loungers of the firft figure at the first glance, was a humourift, and anfwered the bucks in their own way: 66 Gea, I va ma bidg to ya, vaa ma, inde-(Gentlemen, I am very much obliged to you! very much, indeed !)" The old man, who had been training with outstretched neck and open mouth to catch a word, but in vain, this inftant found his deafnefs return, and the old woman feeling a like vifitation, they both hobbled away, leaving the Doctor to prefcribe for poor little Bob and Charles. In the converfation that enfued, the Doctor learned that Mafter Bob was nineteen and Mafter Charles eighteen years of age; and that they had come down from London to folicit the performance of their grandfather's promife to buy them commiffions in the Guards, to which the old gentleman had demurred, affigning the dangers and fatigues of a modern military life--but the fact was, in their apparently wretched ftate of health, he thought his money would be only thrown away. This difcovery fuggested to

the

the Doctor an immediate and infallible cure for the deafnefs of the old couple, and the confumptive habit of the two grandfons: he flew to the garden, where he found his old friends lamenting, and affured them he would work a complete restoration of family health before he went away. The Doctor immediately wrote a prefeription, leaving it to the old gentleman to be his own apothecary, and make it up; it was to take two purfes, and putting a fum of fifty guineas into each, to adminifter them in that ftate to the fick youths, with fpecial directions to set off next morning for London, and purchase their commiffions.-The old gentleman lot no time. The Doctor and the old lady followed him to the parlour, where the patients were still fitting, and where the old man administered the medicine strictly according to his directions. The first touch of the purfe operated like an electric shock upon the nerves of the impatient youths-the lightness of the purfe foon awoke fufpicion, and examination only confirmed their fears. Da Sa, tha muft be fome mifta in this-(Dear Sir, there must be fome miftake in this)," obferved the elder of the two. The younger whittled Malbrook-the old man ftared-the old lady and the Doctor were impatient for the operation. of the cure."Sdeath, Sir!" exclaimed the elder of the two, after a fhort interval; "furely you do not mean. to quiz us?" Thefe words, pronounced in an elevated: tone, most diftin&tly and clearly, and with appropriate look and gefture, had the defired effect. The old man,. who neither heard or understood a part of the previous converfation, now heard the youth diftinctly, and began. to caper and fing through the room; the old lady alfo found all her auricular faculties reftored in full vigour,, and both returned thanks to the Doctor for their fpeedy and effectual cure.. The grandfons looked aftonishment; but how great must have been their fhame and confufion, when the old gentleman, with

a ftern