a ftern countenance, thus addreffed them: "I have been the victim not of disease, but of my own credulity and your folly. The money I have given you will fuffice to bind you apprentices to a milliner. When you have learned to act, fpeak, and dress like men, come to me, and I fhall purchase you commiffions in whatever regiment you please!"

GREAT AND LITTLE.

THERE is a diverfity, and even a contraft, in our taftes, aftonishing to thofe who study them and examine our actions. We love to diftraction great and little things. A little lady, for inftance, likes a great appearance; and, for the purpofe of acquiring it, takes little airs of importance. With a little fortune the keeps a houfe in great ftyle: her pretenfions are great, and the requires little attentions from all thofe who approach her: fhe is paffionately fond of little dogs, and hires great footmen: the thinks nothing fo charming as a little apartment, and in that fhe is defirous of receiving great company. She exacts great afiduity from her lovers, of whom the forms a little court, and allows them to take little liberties, on which they fet great value; the is defirous of raifing a little reputation, and of appearing with eclat in the great world, where little intrigues lead to great events: the likes little compliments, and great entertainments; a little raillery, and great sport; little fans, and great flicks; and nothing pleafes her fo much in her admirers as little waistcoats and great pantaloons.

A man is deûrous of finding in his goddess a little waift, large eyes, a little foot, et cætera. A woman, in her admirer, likes well-ftrung legs, and that he should be poffeffed of great qualities: a parafite feeks for great dinners, and girls of the ton run after little fnug fuppers: little folks are the partisans of the great

theatres,

theatres, where little authors exhibit great productions with great fhow, while those of the great world go to applaud in the great theatres very trifling pieces, which are the groundwork of the puny reputation of great authors. Our upftarts have quitted their little apartments to inhabit great palaces, where every thing is conducted on a great fcale. They maintain a great retinue, keep a great table, invite great companies, give great fetes, commit great follies, and are overwhelmed with the great compliments of the little courtiers that furround their greatness.

Lifle Moore has written a little opera (of little ELVES and FAIRIES) for the little Theatre; little Colman has read it, and fays "with a little alteration it will be a pretty little thing."

The ci-devant little T -y Ow has at length met with a rival whip in a young gentleman, who daily fports an empty fociable and four (with only fome hungry companion on the box, in cafe of accident). An empty fociable is furely a mifnomer! Would not a fulky have been more appropriate? We know not which may be the better coachman, but little Tommy certainly contrives to get the most passengers.

1

SIR,

PSEUDO-GENTILITY.

[From the Times.]

AM a member of a country book club, where your paper is daily read and canvaffed by the beft critics and politicians in our county; but I obferve with concern, that your have fallen into an error upon one material point. You feem to confider too much ex parte the quantity and importance of the fortunes accumu

Mr. Moore has publifhed a tranflation of Anacreon; and, under the feigned name of Little, a volume of Poems, chiefly amatory.

Jated

lated by the war and the fcarcity; without taking into the account the equivalent which has taken place in rank, clafs, and promotion. In other words, you eftimate the augmentation of fortunes, without allowing for the promotion of their poffeffors.

Now it is evident, that if this balance be duly preferved, the danger cannot exift which you and others feem to forefee, Sir, from I know not what confufion of orders and men. In this county, at least, every individual has received an acceffion of honours equal to the increase of his wealth, although fome invidious diftinctions, are partially kept up All our mealmen and millers are Efquires, and we have no other than gentlemen farmers. My coal-merchant has as many armorial bearings and pretences upon his curricle as the firft quack-doctor in London, although I have often thought thefe gentlemen ftole a quarter from every efcutcheon they were the cause of hanging up on our houses.

I mentioned that there were ftill, indeed, a few ill-natured diftinctions. The laft purchafer in our parish, by the fplendour of his illuminations, is fuf pected of being a tallow-chandler in the metropolis, although his newspaper, is directed to him here as au Efquire. The moderate people, however, defcribe him as the London Squire; but attempts are making by the outrages in ariftocracy to create the very moral difcrimination of fquires ante bellum, and quires of the war. We fhould be happy to be favoured with your opinion upon this innovation, which appears to fome of our club to be as dangerous as the celebrated divifion of an eminent political writer, of conftitutional and court nobility.

In the mean time, we are affured, by one of our members, who has lately refided in your parts, that

*See Vol. III. p. 276. Vol. V, 376-380.

the

the fame general promotion has taken place in the capital. He affirms, that his daughter's teeth were cleaned by a knight, with a crofs and blue riband, and that his banker is a peer of the realm; and he told us, with a fneer, that having lately asked this nobleman for a frank in his own fhop, his Lordship excused himself, having given the whole of his number amongft his cuftomers already!

If our friend were not a man of much gravity and confideration, we could hardly give credit to the picture he has drawn of your nanners in this particular. He fays he offended, very unknowingly, the fame morning, both his folicitor and his apothecary, by omitting to ufe the word Efquire upon the cover of an order for fome rhubarb, and giving the other the ́addition of Attorney, which, he affures us, is become barbarous and obfolete. He compares it, with fome humour, to the appellation of CAT, by which pufs is never called but in anger. He fays, to name a mani Vattorney is to fay bifs-cat.

Be fo good as to let us know, if all your comedians and upper fingers are efquires? He affirms, that, upon the ftage, every man with a good voice and an engagement is a lawful efquire; and, confidering the Malaries of fome of them, he thinks they would make very good lords!

I am, Sir, your fincere admirer,

PHILOCLIMACOS. P. S. Having flept on the road, I have this morning been aiked to remember the gentleman who cleaned my boots.

'SIR,

MORE ABOUT IT.

[From the fame.]

TOOK the liberty fome time fince, at the instance of a club to which I have the honour to belong, of pointing out to you the general promotion in the

rank

rank of efquires which has taken place in our county, and of inquiring into the correctness of the account we had received of a fimilar elevation in your great city. Since that time, we have more carefully attended to the fubject and whatever relates to it, as circum ftances diurnally difclofe theinfelves; and we are fully fatisfied that neither our worthy member nor your excellent publication have mifted us.

A

We obferve, Sir, that your fashionable milliners forbid, by public notice in the papers, any ladies from coming a-foot to their fhop-doors, or alighting from hackney-coaches. Some of our members, indeed, obferving your cenfures upon the modifh nakednefs of the day, have concluded this prohibition to arife in a tenderness for the health of their fair customers; and one gentleman will have it, that it is no more than a moral fatire upon your Lady Godivas, implying that no female, in the drefs of the ultra-fafhionable, can be seen in the streets with the fmalleft regard to decency. Our great majority, however, have rightly understood the respect which your marchandes-des-" modes very properly exact from the public; and we prefer our English equality of condition, by which every one jumps into the feat above him, to the Galdican level, which has made every man jump down into the dirt. In effect, Sir, why fhould not the votaries of Fashion approach her priefteffes with due reverence and refpect? For my part, when I think how great a part of a modern fine gentleman or fine lady is the work of the tailor and the tire-woman, I am furprised that they do not approach their Maker with proper ceremony and devotion; inftead of which I am well affured that their mechanical Creator is almoft as much neglected as their Divine one.

The next circumftance that has fixed our attention, has given great offence to fome of our fquires ante bellum, who, by the way, are growing up into a kind of pro

vincial