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PSEUDO-GENTILITY. vincial haute-noblesse. We read that a servant, a few days since, giving evidence upon oath, described hinself to be a gentleman. At our quarter-feffions ? know not how he might have been punished for this anticipation ; but considering the numbers who assume that rank, Sir, at prefent, who can tell but the fellow was just as good a gentleman as his master? Now we are very desirous to know,, whether there would be any impropriety, in the general advancement of perfons and conditions which has taken place, in admitting this class to a due thare of promotion.

Where would be the hardthip, if, instead of turning away a footnian, we were to inform him, that we have no longer any occasion for his services; and if; instead of giving warning, a fervant were to resign? It is true, the word resignation is a little unpopular at present in these parts, because a pitiful fellow who lately left his old master, when he was nearly ruined by a lawsuit, and -the family in want of bread, affected, under that nane, to conceal the nature of the action. But as he thoroughly repents of it, and his master has got a verdiet, and keeps à good house again, the word will foon be restored to its original meaning, ! Now, Şir, give me leave, to asking whether it might not be very serviceable in the present state of the Exchequer, to admit of a general pretension of all ranks and classes, and to allow all bis Majelty's liege servants to take upon themselves what degree of rank, birth, and quality they think proper? I would not have the Commissioners of Income aik a man what he is worth, but of what honours he is worthy ? Instead of an income tax, let us have a dignity tax. If a miller will pay as a knight, let him be called one. Open the doors of honour, and knock down the gates of the Heralds' office. Let the war-fquires help themselves, and every man become as noble as he can afford to be.


The fund to be raised by this imposition, Sir, though it is the very reverse of a sinking fund, would have all the good effects of that inftitution, and many others peculiar to itself. Every man would get forward in the public service, while in private lite you would know a man's solvency by his title. If you could not prevent your peers from being lame-ducks, none but Four warm flock-broker would pay like an earl.

Give me leave, Sir, to recommend these observations to your reflection. The advertisements of the lady millineresses, and waiting-gentlemen, have suggested them to our club; and if they should prove useful to the state, it will justly increase the respect which the public already entertains for these distinguished claffes of society.

I am, Sir, &c.



[From the Oracle.] WHEN a distemper extends its contagious influence,

it is the business of the physician to investigate the cause, and prefcribe a remedy. Mental diseases, however, are of fo complicated a nature as to bafile human íkill, and their baneful effects are particularly fatal when they overpower the sufferer under the fenblance of amusement. : Of this we have many proofs in gaming, dress, masquerades, &c. The most remarkable species of mental disease which occafioned a temporary suspension of common sense in this capital, was imported in bundles of paper, inscribed with Teutonic chara&ters, which, when translated into English, communicated the contagion to the higher



94 ACCOUNT OF THE KOTZEBUL-MANIA, ranks of fociety with the rapidity of the electric fluid. The firit fympions were a strange admiration of ghosts

, mouldering cafiles, sulpliurous flames, bloody daggers, and other ierrific in ages of a diftempered imagination. In this stage of the disease it may be denominated the Spellromania; but on the introduction of a larger quantity of the infectious matter, the dangerous fymptoms increased, and it atiumed a formidable appearance under the name of Kotzibui-mania.

The unhappy wight who was deftined to do this irreparable injury to the morals of his countrymen was one Benjamin Thompson. We are told that he concealed the papers impregnated with the infection for ten years, till, in a moment of enthusiasm, he sent them to the manager of one of the theatres, whe administered the virus to the public.

This cruel discale, which has fpared neither age nor fex in Germany, France, or England, takes its name from an empiric named Kotzebue. The patients were athicted with a childish paflion for noise, faintings, the fiartings and ravings of others deeply affected with the same disease, and a strong abhorrence of common sense. This {pecies of madness induced the women of every rank to divcft themselves of a great part of their clothes. They alfo 'cut off their hair, which would have contributed to the restoration of health had the diturder affected only the head; but unfortunately its principal malignancy operated on the heart, where it extinguished the light of morality which had been kindled by a virtuous education. While labouring under this delirium, what bad formerly been considered crimes were metamorphosed into virues, and religion and decency were thrown afide like old

garments. When the difiemper becamie general, the people througed to our places of public

amusement, where the contagion was most powerful. Thither the old


and the young, the grave and the gay, hastened, like infects, to futter round the flame of licentiousnefs ; to add to the absurdity, the very people who wasted. their time and money in pursuit of a phantom were clamorous against the high price of provisions ! The curious names given to different portions of the infectious matter induced the people to purchase it just as they do other quack medicines. They had not the most remote idea that what was introduced under the plaufible name of theatric entertainments could have any pernicious influence, till fatal experience made them feel the imbecility produced by immoral drainas.. On the introduction of the Stranger, our ladies thronged to behold the fair German who had made a fashionable lip. By a little conversation with her they not only caught the infection of the Kotzebue-mania, but they were convinced that adultery was merely an amiable weakness, though they had so often heard it mentioned by Englith moralists as the most execrable deviation from the path of honour, and totally subversive of social felicity. The next dofe was administered by a very skilful female Quack, who gave it the name of Lovers' Vows, and by a happy termination demonstrated the beneficial confequences of seduction.

But this mental nalady did not arrive at the greatest height till the introduction of Pizarro. The multitude thronged to fee this monster. They held up their hands, opened their mouths, and gazed in stupid astonishment at the superb pageant that thone before their imagination. It was such a delightful enjoyliment to fit at one's cafe, and behold all the horrors, without encountering the dangers of a battle and a thunder-storm! There was so much enthusiastic loyo | alty

in the fpech of Rolla, that even the critic with difficulty traced the sentiments, and detected the i plagiarism, in the more simple and dignified lines of Cowper.


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Those physicians of taste known by the name of Reviewers had anxiously watched the progress of the Kotzebue-mania through every ftage, till it arrived at a crisis, when they administered a variety of antidotes, some as correctives, and others as alteratives. When the feverish fymptoms abated, the convalescents were gradually restored; and the public taste, though yet very poorly indeed, will, it is to be hoped, recover from the imbecility brought on by this mental apoplexy.

It has been recommended, in order to prevent such fatal accidents in future, that all the productions of the Continent fall be examined by adequate judges previous to their being landed, and that the vesels İhall perform quarantine.

Such was the progress of the Kotzebue-mania, which kad a more pernicious effect on the health and morals of the coininunity than gin, or even the noftrums of quackery. Indeed no difcase has raged with such fatal malignancy in this capital lince the plague in 1:665.


[From the Morning Chronicle.] MR. EDITOR, I

AM much pleased with some recent remarks in

your paper on “ the prevalent excuse for wretched dramatic pieces,” namely, that they are merely in. tended 56

as a vehicle to the music.” The public are undoubtedly very much obliged to gentlemen who thus write nonsense with an intention : it has hitherto been thought that a man wrote badly because he could not write better ; but here we have a race of authors who prove themselves to be blockheads eo animo, and with the wilful design of bringing that wretched thing called good music into reputation.

A vehicle

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