vincial haute-nobleffe. We read that a fervant, a few days fince, giving evidence upon oath, described himfelf to be a gentleman. At our quarter-feffions } know not how he might have been punished for this anticipation; but confidering the numbers who affume that rank, Sir, at prefent, who can tell but the fellow was just as good a gentleman as his mafter? Now we are very defirous to know, whether there would be any impropriety, in the general advancement of perfons and conditions which has taken place, in admitting this clafs to a due thare of promotion. Where would be the hardship, if, instead of turning away a footman, we were to inform him, that we have no longer any occafion for his fervices; and if, inftead of giving warning, a fervant were to refign? It is true, the word refignation is a little unpopular at present in these parts, becaufe a pitiful fellow who lately left his old mafter, when he was nearly ruined by a lawfuit, and the family in want of bread, affected, under that name, to conceal the nature of the action. But as he thoroughly repents of it, and his master has got a verdict, and keeps a good houfe again, the word will foon be restored to its original meaning.

Now, Sir, give me leave to afk, whether it might not be very ferviceable in the prefent flate of the Exchequer, to admit of a general pretenfion of all ranks and claffes, and to allow all his Majefty's liege fervants to take upon themfelves what degree of rank, birth, and quality they think proper? I would not have the Commiffioners of Income afk a man what he is worth, but of what honours he is worthy? Instead of an income tax, let us have a dignity tax. If a miller will pay as a knight, let him be called one. Open the doors of honour, and knock down the gates of the Heralds' office. Let the war-fquires help themfelves, and every man become as noble as he can afford to be.

The

The fund to be raised by this impofition, Sir, though it is the very reverse of a sinking fund, would have all the good effects of that inftitution, and many others peculiar to itself. Every man would get forward in the public fervice, while in private life you would know a man's folvency by his title. If you could not prevent your peers from being lame-ducks, none but your warm flock-broker would pay like an earl.

Give me leave, Sir, to recommend these observations to your reflection. The advertisements of the lady millinereffes, and waiting-gentlemen, have fuggefted them to our club; and if they fhould prove ufeful to the ftate, it will justly increase the refpect which the public already entertains for thefe distinguished claffes of fociety.

I am, Sir, &c.

PHILOCLIMACOS.

OF A

DREADFUL

MANIA, WHICH

SOME ACCOUNT

DISEASE, CALLED THE KOTZEBUE-
WAS EPIDEMICAL IN LONDON AT

THE CLOSE OF THE EIGHTEENTH CENTURY.

[From the Oracle.]

WHEN a diftemper extends its contagious influence, it is the bufinefs of the phyfician to investigate the cause, and prefcribe a remedy. Mental difeafes, however, are of fo complicated a nature as to baffle human skill, and their baneful effects are particularly fatal when they overpower the fufferer under the femblance of amufement. Of this we have many proofs in gaming, drefs, masquerades, &c. The moft remarkable species of mental difeafe which occafioned a temporary fufpenfion of common fenfe in this capital, was imported in bundles of paper, infcribed with Teutonic characters, which, when translated into English, communicated the contagion to the higher

I

ranks

ranks of fociety with the rapidity of the electric fluid. The firit fymptoms were a ftrange admiration of ghofts, mouldering caftles, fulphurous flames, bloody daggers, and other terrific images of a diftempered imagination. In this ftage of the disease it may be denominated the Spectromania; but on the introduction of a larger quantity of the infectious matter, the dangerous fymptoms increased, and it affumed a formidable appearance under the name of Kotzebue-mania.

The unhappy wight who was deftined to do this irreparable injury to the morals of his countrymen was one Benjamin Thompson. We are told that he concealed the papers impregnated with the infection for ten years, till, in a moment of enthusiasm, he fent them to the manager of one of the theatres, whe administered the virus to the public.

This cruel difcafe, which has fpared neither age nor fex in Germany, France, or England, takes its name from an empiric named Kotzebue. The patients were afflicted with a childish paflion for noife, faintings, the ftartings and ravings of others deeply affected with the fame difcafe, and a strong abhorrence of common fenfe. This fpecies of madness induced the women of every rank to diveft themselves of a great part of their clothes. They alfo cut off their hair, which would have contributed to the restoration of health had the diforder affected only the head; but unfortunately its principal malignancy operated on the heart, where it extinguished the light of morality which had been kindled by a virtuous education. While labouring under this delirium, what had formerly been confidered crimes were metamorphofed into virtues, and religion and decency were thrown afide like old garments.

When the diftemper became general, the people thronged to our places of public amusement, where the contagion was moft powerful. Thither the old

and

and the young, the grave and the gay, haftened, like infects, to flutter round the flame of licentioufnefs; to add to the abfurdity, the very people who wafted. their time and money in purfuit of a phantom were clamorous against the high price of provifions! The curious names given to different portions of the infectious matter induced the people to purchase it juft as they do other quack medicines. They had not the moft remote idea that what was introduced under the plaufible name of theatric entertainments could have any pernicious influence, till fatal experience made them feel the imbecility produced by immoral dramas.. On the introduction of the Stranger, our ladies thronged to behold the fair German who had made a fashionable flip. By a little converfation with her they not only. caught the infection of the Kotzebue-mania, but they were convinced that adultery was merely an amiable weakness, though they had fo often heard it mentioned by English moralifts as the most execrable deviation from the path of honour, and totally fubverfive of focial felicity. The next dofe was adminiftered by a very skilful female Quack, who gave it the name of Lovers' Vows, and by a happy termination demonstrated. the beneficial confequences of feduction.

But this mental nialady did not arrive at the greatest height till the introduction of Pizarro. The multitude thronged to fee this monfter. They held up their hands, opened their mouths, and gazed in ftupid aftonishment at the fuperb pageant that fhone before their imagination. It was fuch a delightful enjoyment to it at one's cafe, and behold all the horrors, without encountering the dangers of a battle and a thunder-ftorm! There was fo much enthusiastic loyalty in the fpeech of Rolla, that even the critic with difficulty traced the fentiments, and detected the plagiarifm, in the more fimple and dignified lines of Cowper.

4

Thofe

Thofe phyficians of tafte known by the name of Reviewers had anxioufly watched the progrefs of the Kotzebue-mania through every ftage, till it arrived at a crifis, when they adminiftered a variety of antidotes, fome as correctives, and others as alteratives. When the feverish fymptoms abated, the convalefcents were gradually restored; and the public tafte, though yet very poorly indeed, will, it is to be hoped, recover from the imbecility brought on by this mental apoplexy.

It has been recommended, in order to prevent fuch fatal accidents in future, that all the productions of the Continent fall be examined by adequate judges previous to their being landed, and that the veffels hall perform quarantine.

Such was the progrefs of the Kotzebue mania, which kad a more pernicious effect on the health and morals of the community than gin, or even the noftrums of quackery. Indeed no difcafe has raged with fuch fatal malignancy in this capital fince the plague in 1.665.

MUSIC AND NONSENSE.

MR. EDITOR,

[From the Morning Chronicle.]

I AM much pleafed with fome recent remarks in your paper on "the prevalent excufe for wretched dramatic pieces," namely, that they are merely intended as a vehicle to the mufic. The public are undoubtedly very much obliged to gentlemen who thus write nonfenfe with an intention: it has hitherto been thought that a man wrote badly because he could not write better; but here we have a race of authors who prove themselves to be blockheads eo animo, and with the wilful defign of bringing that wretched thing called good mufic into reputation.

A vehicle