CHAPTER. V. Physicians-Singular suicide-Mr. Colclough-Theatre-Deficiency of popular taste-C- the advocate-Grattan. Dublin. I DINED with the gentleman who had accompanied me to the Castle and College: he was a practitioner of medicine in town, and had been a fellow-student of my own at Edinburgh. There were two other gentlemen, medical men likewise: we had a most excellent dinner; I question whether the provost, or even the chancellor himself (with all due respect I speak it), had a better;—the fish was delicious; though not a Roman Catholic, I actually kept Lent, in this instance I fear with no religious merit.-Our conversation was mostly medical: it is as impossible for four men of the same profession to meet without talking of it, as for four ladies to get together without a little scandal. The bottle circulated freely, but there was no constraint; every one was at liberty to drink as much or as little as he pleased, and, as is commonly the case when the liquor is good, every one (with my solitary exception) was pleased to drink a great deal. Dublin physicians do not forget that they are men and Irishmen: they converse, laugh, and drink, and have thrown aside the grave airs and formal manners, with the large wigs and gold-headed canes of their predecessors: they have a candour and openness of address, an ease and dignity of deportment, far superior to that of their London brethren. The truth is, a physician here is almost at the pinnacle of greatness: there are few resident nobility or gentry since the Union, and the professors of law and medicine may be said to form the aristocracy of the place. They have, therefore, all the advantages of manner, which a lofty sense of superiority, along with much association with mankind, never fail to produce. A London practitioner is little better than a bon bourgeois, whom people of rank call in when they are sick, but have no intercourse with when they are well-the only exception I am acquainted with was the late Sir John Hayes, who was a highly amusing companion, and very much in company, certainly; but he was an Irishman, and patronized and brought forward by an Irishman, Lord Moira: I suspect that he was confided in less, as he was associated with more; and that though his jokes were always relished, his physic was often given to the dogs. Doctor Johnson has remarked, that a book might be made on the fortunes of physicians in large towns; my own experience abundantly proves the truth of the observation: some of the stupidest men of my acquaintance have been highly successful; while many young men of the brightest parts have been compelled to relinquish the profession entirely :-having gradually journeyed from the first floor to the garret, they were obliged to go higher still, and from their airy " Gradus ad Parnassum," to soar to the lofty regions of song. Apollo is the god of poetry as well as of medicine, and when his votaries fail in the one, they naturally turn to the other. To speak seriously, I hardly know a more pitiable situation than that of some of my young medical friends; compared to whom, a shoemaker or a cobbler is a happy and independent character. Without money to defray the necessary expenses of a gentleman, they linger out the best years of their life in penury and sorrow; in the most galling penury, which must display the appearance of riches, and in sorrow, which must wear the face of joy; living in a state of constant dissimulation, talking of fees they never received, of patients they never had, and, though last, not least, forced to watch the humours and listen to the complaints of some antiquated matron, who has undertaken to recommend them to her friends, and whose party they durst no more desert at cassino or whist, than a soldier his colours in the field of battle. I have mentioned above, that the gentleman with whom I dined was a fellow-student of mine at Edinburgh, about 16 or 17 years ago. It is a melancholy proof of the uncertainty of human life, that of twentyfive young men I was in habits of intimacy with, he and two others only survive-nor was the manner of many of their deaths less melancholy; some were drowned, some lost their lives in the yellow fever, others in duels, and another because he could not get leave to fight one. He was a young high-spirited West Indian :-a short time after his return to the island (I forget which) of which he was a native, he was grossly insulted by a gentleman at a dance-he retired, and sent him a message--the offender, with the unanimous approbation of his brother (gentlemen shall I call them?) refused meeting him, because his father (who, though a respectable man, was organist to the church) was no gentleman: the poor young man in a frenzy rushed into the ball-room, and in the presence of these enlightened judges blew his brains out. Had he turned his pistol on any of them, instead of himself, this consequence could not have followedfor surely they had no brains to lose. The fate of another was still more distressing, and as it may furnish a lesson to presumptuous youth to move in the orbit which nature assigns to it, I shall mention it here. His name was Colclough-he took afterwards a distinguished part in the Irish rebellion, and was executed-he was a young man of considerable talents and great gentleness of manners; but he had great vanity, and great ambition also. Vanity and ambition, more than conviction, have made many young men republicans. He who thinks himself qualified to govern does not like to obey, and the youth who, in the glowing visions of imagination, wields a truncheon, and hearkens to the trumpet, can have little relish for the pestle and mortar's more peaceful sound. Among the debating societies of the students, there was one in which general subjects were discussed, to the exclusion only of medical ones. Mr. Colclough was a great speaker there, and often displayed no mean oratorical powers. I recollect well one subject of discussion was the assassination of Cæsar " Was it a justifiable act on the part of Brutus and the other conspirators ?”—As may be supposed, he took the part of the great martyr of freedom; he made a long and brilliant speech, which was greatly admired and rapturously applauded by all who heard it. I have very little doubt that the praise he received that night gave a bias to his future life, and that the destiny of Brutus involved his own equally unfortunate one. He resolved to quit the profession of medicine, and betake himself to the bar, as a field where his abilities would have greater room. In the interval, however, a small - fortune was left him, and he married. Shortly afterwards, the Irish rebellion broke out: the stage was now erected on which so many thousands were doomed to perish; he flattered himself, no doubt, with being able to play a distinguished part, and was among the foremost who appeared on its reeking boards. He had talents, youth, and courage, which, well directed, might have given him the rank and consideration he so much coveted; but which, abused and misapplied, served only to conduct him to the gallows to excite some sympathy in the hearts of others, and probably in his last moments to embitter his own. At the age of twentysix his course was finished. After the re-capture of Wexford, he retired with his wife and child to one of the Saltee Islands, of which he was landlord, and chose for his temporary abode a cave, which he furnished with provisions, and hoped to remain concealed till the fervour of prosecution should abate: but Mr. Bagenal Harvey, knowing his place of retreat, followed him so incautiously, as to afford a foundation for conjecture and discovery :-they surrendered without resistance; though from the nature of the place they might have made for some time a defence. At his trial he displayed a calm intrepidity and dignity, tempered with mildness, which commanded the admiration and esteem of the spectators; at the place of execution he did not evince less fortitude; he called, it is said, for a glass of wine, and drank his Majesty's health. I hope this is not true. About to be launched into eternity, the most outrageous loyalist troubles himself little about kings; but in a man of his prejudices and opinions, such a toast could only have been dissimulation, and if ever given, must have proceeded from some faint hope |